Hey guys! So here is another story I've decided to post. Now I know the timeline doesn't work that well but I liked the idea so I posted it. Also, I want to wish a very happy birthday to my friend Catherine. She's one of my best friends and she's always there for me, so Cath this one is for you. Love you lots girl. ENJOY!

She knew the second she looked at the test, it was his. She knew because, the headaches, the morning sickness, and the constant worry had started long before Sam came back, before she slept with him and certainly before she was ready.

She went to the hospital and her thoughts were confirmed. She was four months along. That's what the doctor told her. She couldn't help but think that he should be there with her, holding her hand and promising they'd be okay.

She knew it was going to come out at some point. So she told Nikita, about the baby, about her fears. The older woman was happy for her, but asked her what she was going to do now that she was the famous Alexandra Udinov. How would she explain the baby was Sean's if he supposedly died over a year ago.

She told Sam, that night. Laying down on the couch with a protective hand over her stomach. She lied through her teeth and told him the baby was his, even though she knew different.

He gave her a smile, but nothing like the one she knows Sean would have given her. He told her that he would stay with her, as if this baby was obligating him to do so.

The months passed and Alex dealt with everything as best she could. The nights that she just couldn't take the guilt she'd kick Sam out of bed, claiming she needed more space to sleep. She reached into her bed side drawer and clutched the picture of Sean to her chest, silent sobs wracking her body as her pillow became wet with tears.

She was in Washington just finishing a speech when she went into labour. She couldn't help think about how ironic it was that she ended up at the same hospital Sean had said he was born at.

Sam was with her the whole time, but she still wanted it to be Sean's gentle voice in her ear. Though she knew he was there with her, just like he always was. Silently encouraging her on.

The first time she held her baby boy in her arms she couldn't stop smiling. For the first time in nearly a year the tears that left her eyes were happy ones.

He opened his eyes and she saw that familiar dark chocolate brown staring back at her. She quickly explained how he must have gotten her mother's eyes even though she knew they were his fathers.

She decided on the name Nicolas, not explaining to Sam why she wanted his middle name to be Mason. He didn't know the connection; and he would never have to know in the future.

She wished it was Sean with her. Every minute of every day, looking after their son, whom she could only describe as a miracle.

She knew exactly what life she wanted with them, with Sean. They'd buy a red brick house that had a brown door and shutters along with a white picket fence. It would overlook the water and Sean would teach their kids how to swim because Alex knew Sean would love to do that with them.

They'd get normal jobs and live a normal life, cheer Nick on at his hockey games, or basketball or whatever he decided to play.

She wanted Sean to be the one to sit Nick down and talk to him when he was 13 and was going through whatever teenage boys go through. She wanted him to be the one she spent the rest of her days waking up next to and going to sleep at night beside. But Sean was gone, and Nick was all she had left.

She knew she would never be completely happy again, something would always be missing from her life. He would always be missing. But Sean had been right. Sometimes it was the little things in life that made all the difference. Nicolas was the best thing to ever happen to her and she was never going to let him go.

REVIEW!