Isolation
DG32173
Sarah: an idea I had while at the doctor's office. Good thing I had a notebook and pen to write it down on. I do so hope you enjoy what you read.
DISCLAIMER
I only own what I write as it is written. Don't steal.
WARNINGS
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE! Rated T for cursing. The chapters alternate between Elena's and Damon's views. You have been warned.
SUMMARY
My take on what could have happened during Elena's time locked up in a vampire holding cell in the boarding house basement and how they finally got her to turn her humanity back on.. Damon/Elena
Chapter 1
Oh, Goody, I Get Clothes
Elena
I always wanted to ask Damon or Stefan what it's like being dosed up with vervaine and locked in one of the vampire holding cells in the boarding house basement, but I never had the courage to actually go through with it. Well, now I finally have my answer from firsthand experience. The vervaine hurts like a bitch as it attacks my system. And being locked up down here is a lot like being put in isolation and denied the only antidote to the vervaine in my system. That's right. They're withholding the blood I need to live and also need to expel this toxin from my system.
Sure, I have plenty of 'visitors' dropping by to tell me that they'll let me out and give me blood if I would just turn my humanity back on. They're more like nuisances than visitors, really. There's only three things I want before I will consider turning my humanity switch back on and dealing with all the emotional crap that goes with it. One, blood to stop this godforsaken pain. Two, the only visitor I haven't gotten but who I know damn well has been in this cell when I'm asleep, the one who my inner vampire thinks of as my mate: Damon Salvatore. And three, here's the kicker, my little brother back from the grave. The first two I'm being denied. And it's pretty much impossible to bring the truly dead back to life, or so I've been told. But I've seen crazier things happen. So with my three conditions on the 'not happening' list, why should I turn my humanity back on just to please them? If they cared about me like they claim they do, they'd find someway to accommodate me. The fact that they haven't even let me have the first two, which are quite easy to do, proves that they just want the side of me that's overwhelmed by emotions and caring back. They don't seem to realize that what they are seeing in me now is also part of who I am. This is just the side of me who looks out for number one only.
I examine my nails as I hear footsteps coming down the stairs to the basement. They aren't Damon's, so I don't care who has decided to try to talk me around this time. I'm just wearing the very risqué lingerie that I had worn under Caroline's dream prom dress the day they managed to take me down. I had an idea of what they were trying to do when I saw the slideshows lining the walk up to the doors leading into the high school's gymnasium. They were trying to make me miss my old life. It almost worked, too. But then I was reminded why I actually went along with the sire bond and flipped off my humanity because, what do you know, a picture of my brother and I popped up. So that little plan backfired in their faces because of that one picture.
I'm surprised, as much as I can be, that is, no one realized what my cry for Damon's protection when I thought Bonnie was seriously going to kill me actually meant. Little news flash, my so-called friends, even with my humanity switch flipped off, even without a sire bond forcing me to be an eager-to-please puppy towards him, Damon Salvatore is still the one I turn to when I can't face the world alone. If I had known that there was only one dose of the cure to vampirism, I would have found the strength to break the sire bond myself because I refuse to become human again if he was still going to be a vampire. Nuh-uh, not happening. Because I have a funny feeling that once a vampire takes the cure, they won't be able to be changed back into a vampire. They'd just die and stay dead. I refuse to grow old and wrinkly and eventually die while Damon stays young and handsome for eternity. And I know that he feels the same damn way about me.
Maybe if I hadn't been so determined to fight the feelings I had for him as a human, which were what caused the sire bond to even appear, things would be different and I'd still have my brother. But I'm placing his death on the hands of my so-called friends, even if Katherine was the one to actually use him to revive Silus so that she could steal the cure and Silus was the one who snapped Jeremy's neck. If the idiots who have the nerve to call themselves my friends hadn't been so damn stupid as to think the sire bond affected how I felt about Damon rather then just affecting my actions, then Jeremy would be alive and I wouldn't have let Damon use the sire bond to flip my switch. If they had just talked to Tyler about it, found out the details, because, hell, he was sire bound to Klaus! He only had the help of a werewolf as he worked to break free of the sire bond. He should know better than anyone what it means to be sire bound to someone and what causes the sire bond to form as well as what the effects of it are. I was smart. I talked to Tyler when I found out what they were up to behind my back. He told me every damn detail about the sire bond. And here I thought Damon was smart. He should have gone to Tyler and found out the details before caving into peer pressure.
"You know, if you're just going to stand out there, you could at least have the decency to tell me who my latest visitor is," I remark dryly. "I'm not going to get up and come look out the little barred window to find out for myself."
A familiar huff is followed by the bolt sliding back and the door opening to reveal my car-stealing buddy, Rebekah. And she's carrying a duffel bag. "I don't see why they're doing this," she comments. "The old you was such a bore. Anyways, I brought you the clothes you got on our road trip."
"About time I was allowed something decent," I mutter, getting to my feet. It's been two days since they put me down here. "It's a little cold down here."
"Someone left you a sweater," she points out, motioning to the Mystic Falls High sweater I have been ignoring since yesterday morning.
I shrug. "I'm not wearing Stefan's clothes. They can take it right back to his room. They could even burn it for all I care," I say, taking the duffle bag from her. I set it on the princess bed someone had hauled down her for me to sleep on. I've been sleeping on the floor only to wake up in the bed. And I know exactly who's putting me there. Even when he refuses to let me see him, Damon still takes care of me. I search through the clothes, searching for the black long-sleeved John Varvatos men's button-down that I got because it reminded me of Damon as well as the black skinny jeans I got because they made my ass look good.
I catch Rebekah's eye roll from the corner of my bag just as I find the shirt. "You look hungry," she remarks.
"Well, they're not letting my have any blood until I flip my switch back on," I reply tightly, slipping into the shirt and buttoning it up.
"Sucks to be you right now," Rebekah mutters. "I tried to slip you some blood but they made carefully inspected everything in the duffle and took the blood-bag away."
"How considerate of them," I say sarcastically, digging for my skinny jeans. "Thanks for the effort, I guess."
"So, if you know you're going to desiccate if you don't flip your switch on, why haven't you?" she asks curiously just as I find my jeans.
I sit on the bed to pull my jeans on. "I told them my three conditions for turning my switch on, two of which are perfectly reasonable and relatively simple. But all three are on the 'not happening' list. So I told them if even the two reasonable ones aren't going to be met, then I'm not going to turn my switch on and they can just watch me desiccate. My bet is that they won't be able to bring themselves to go so far as to let me completely desiccate," I reply, standing up to pull my jeans up over my ass. I zip them up and fasten the button." But, then, why should I care? It's not like it'll matter to me either way. My so-called friends refused to learn the truth about the sire bond, thinking they knew everything about it when they've never been sire bound. I went straight to the only person I knew who had been sire bound and had worked his ass off to break it. Tyler told me every little detail and to say I was pissed that they didn't bother finding out the facts before assuming the thing affected my feelings was an understatement. It's because of them that my brother is dead and that I'm like this. So apparently they aren't really my friends. Not that I need any," I say matter-of-factly. "What do I care how they feel? Two of my conditions are extremely simple to fulfill. The third one will require a lot more thought, homework, and most likely a powerful witch. But I'm sure it can be done. I've seen crazier things happen."
"Mind sharing your conditions?" Rebekah asks curiously.
"One, a blood bag so that I can ease some of this goddamn pain from the vervaine they injected into me when they took me down two days ago. Two, even a glimpse of Damon would be a nice change of pace. And three, the somewhat harder one, bring my brother back from his too-early grave. It's their fault he's dead. They should find some way to fix their mistake," I reply. "They decided that my feelings for Damon had to be because of the sire bond. They didn't bother to do a little research or even ask Tyler. The sire bond only affects the actions of the sire bound vampire, not the feelings. It takes powerful feelings for the sire to create a sire bond in the first place. They didn't want to believe that, so they made up their own little lies and decided those little lies were the truth. Which lead to a search for a way to break the sire bond so that I could be 'free' to run right back into Stefan's overprotective arms. Fat fucking chance. I fought my feelings for Damon since the day I woke up in his car in Georgia. That was over a year and a half ago." I shrug. "But, that was then, and this is now. Now I'm truly free to do as I want instead of by the girl who wanted to please everyone but herself. In the time since Georgia right up until I actually hooked up with Damon, I was downright miserable. But I must've put on a damn good show of being happy. Because they apparently bought it hook, line, sinker, and the whole damned fishing rod for that matter. I had just over twenty-four hours of true happiness. Then the sire bond was proven to exist and, bam, bye-bye happiness. And now my brother is dead. So, why should I switch my humanity back on just to be miserable all over again? Not much of an incentive, is it?"
"I've only encountered one other sire bond that was broken like yours was, with the bound vampire having their humanity switch flipped off," Rebekah comments, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.
"Do tell," I say, smirking.
"The bound vampire's emotions were destroying her sanity, so her sire had her switch off her humanity. When her humanity switch was finally flipped back on, she was still madly in love with her sire, but the sire bond never returned," Rebekah replies. "They became eternal mates soon after that. Then I encountered another pair connected by a sire bond. The way they got rid of the sire bond was by becoming eternal mates. The mating bond overrode the sire bond. The only other time I've heard of a sire bond being broken without the sire forcing the bound vampire to forget they ever existed to live their life without the sire was in the case of Niklaus and his hybrids. And on the vampires whose sires forcefully destroyed the sire bond, it took them decades, sometimes centuries to become remotely like who they were before they were turned. Even then, shattering the bond that way leaves a permanent impact on the formerly bound vampire. It rarely ends prettily. Trust me, Elena, you got off easy in the breaking of your bond."
"And I'm sure that whoever might be upstairs has heard every word we just said," I remark dryly. "It's remarkable the way this basement is designed. You can barely make out sounds of what's going on upstairs from down here but when your upstairs, a vampire can hear every damn sound down here. Nice way to keep a watch on the prisoners without having to be down here."
Rebekah glances at her watch. "Well, my allotted time with you is up," she says. "Even if you do turn your humanity back on, don't go letting them push you around again. You're way more fun when you run your life yourself rather than letting others run it for you."
"I'll keep that in mind," I remark as Rebekah leaves the cell. The door had been left unlatched but I've learned not to try sneaking out when they do that after one failed attempt. Someone would just be waiting to dart me with vervaine again and lock me right back up. Two darts worth of vervaine in my system is already causing me enough pain. I'm not going to go for three.
Rebekah shots the cell behind her and whoever was waiting to dart me should I try to escape latches it.
If my vampire instincts are any indication, it's just after sunset. I'm getting an increased urge to go out and hunt, and that usually kicks up right after the sun completely sets but leaves some light in the sky. I feel my fangs trying to show themselves but I force them back into hiding. I'm not going to risk nicking my lower lip or tongue and tasting my own vervaine laced blood. That would be even worse than no blood at all. I glance at the tray of food that had been left in here sometime last night while I was asleep. All my favorite breakfast foods. But Damon had been right that day in Georgia when he said a healthy diet of blood let a vampire's body act pretty much like a human's. I just didn't realize that the reverse was also true. Being denied the blood I need to live, not to mention having two darts worth of vervaine in my system, is making the thought of human food pretty nauseating. I decide to at least drink some of the orange juice to get some moisture in my mouth and down my throat. The vervaine is leaving both very dry and with a nasty taste on my tongue.
I walk over, pick up the glass, and put it to my lips. I grimace at the taste but swallow a mouthful. I remind myself that Damon would not give me rotten food, that the nasty taste is purely from being deprived of blood and having vervaine in my system. I set the glass back down after that one mouthful anyways. "I'll just have water tomorrow; don't bother cooking food or fixing juice I won't eat or drink," I remark, knowing he can hear me upstairs.
The longer I go without blood, the harder it is to think clearly and rationally. It's even harder when I know that right up the hall from me, at the foot of the stairs, is a room with a deep fridge full of blood bags. The longer I go without blood, the more my vampire instincts take over. It's fascinating to learn how the vampire in me thinks, in a primeval sort of way. But it would also be a little scary if I had my humanity switch on. Thank God I don't.
I look around, trying to figure out where I'll sleep tonight. Or for at least as much of the night Damon lets me sleep away from the princess bed. I decide to sleep across the door. It won't prevent it from opening since it opens outwards rather than inwards. But it's as good a place in this cell to sleep as any that doesn't include the princess bed. Seriously, how did they get that thing down here? Ah, well, doesn't matter. I stretch out on my side facing the door. I curl my arm under my head for a pillow, close my eyes, and proceed to force my body to relax in spite of the pain I'm in from the vervaine. I soon drift off to sleep.