As Xander watched his fiance munch thoughtfully on an English muffin, he smiled. Anya was still slightly damp from her shower, wrapped comfortably in a huge terry cloth robe and had no make-up on, but she looked beautiful.

She always looked beautiful to him.

He could smell her too, and she smelled like something fruity and clean-- he could never place what fruit it was that she smelled like, but he was endlessly fascinated with all of the soaps and lotions she used after she bathed. He thought that her natural scent was pretty nice, but felt safer not knocking anything she did to be more human.

Finally Anya looked up at him; caught his stare. She tilted her head. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

He shrugged. "You look good. Why not?"

She preened silently under his gaze. "Thanks." After polishing off her English muffin with a huge final bite, she tried to say something, "M fnku su eslp wp--"

"Ahn," he broke in with a grin, "finish chewing."

Shaking her head, she complied and then swallowed. "Right. Sorry. Anyhow, I was thinking that you should sleep with Willow. As soon as possible. Tonight, even, if you're both not busy." She wiped her hands on a napkin and looked at him expectantly.

After a moment, her words processed and Xander stared back at her in horror. "Huh? I should *what* with *who*?"

"Sleep with Willow," Anya enunciated carefully. Bluntly, she added, "I mean, have sex with her."

Xander licked his lips once. Then again. Suddenly his mouth was very dry. "Anya, you know things aren't like that between me and Willow. I don't know what I could've done to make you think that something's going on between us, but--"

"No!" she interrupted with a laugh, "I know nothing's happened between the two of you. But I think it should."

His brow furrowed in confusion. "Are you breaking up with me or something?" ~Please, God~ he prayed silently ~Let it be 'or something.' And let that something be that she's drunk.~ He inspected her closely for signs of alcohol.

"No. And I'm perfectly serious," she assured him. "What are you doing tonight?"

He shook his head. "Well, I'm-- Wait! I'm not having sex with Willow! What are you thinking?"

"Just that it's time."

"Time for what? For me to think that you're insane even *before* I've seen you plan the wedding?"

"Come on, Xander." She rolled her eyes. "I'm going to be very rational about the wedding plans; you know that."

"What I don't know is what could've made you think that I should sleep with Willow," he said. He tried blinking. Nope, it was looking like his eyes were going to stay that wide-open for a while.

"Oh!" she giggled. It was a sweet, deceptively innocent sound, Xander thought. "I forgot to explain that part. Sorry. Well, I think that you and Willow have a very long past, some of which involves wanting each other and not being able to have each other. This way, you *can* have each other and put that 'what if' out of your mind forever. Before our wedding, I want to know that you don't have any lingering feelings for her like that. It makes perfect sense."

Xander closed his mouth with an audible click. He stared. "I don't want to sleep with Willow."

"Sure you do."

He tried again. "She doesn't want to sleep with me."

"Sure she does."

For a second, he was stumped. Then he brightened. "She's gay!"

Anya smiled, almost sympathetically. "No, she's not, or at least not entirely. She couldn't fall so deeply in love with you, or Oz, if she was. I think maybe Willow is one of those people who falls in love with a specific person, instead of a gender. But it's easy to be confused. I'm not sure even she's considered that fact. Anyway, I'm fairly certain I'm right."

"Okay," he said slowly, attempting to change the angle of it, "let's say you're right. And let's say that I'm willing to consider it-- which I'm not. And that Willow is too-- which she wouldn't be. What about Tara? You can't expect her to go along with this and Willow loves her too much to do anything to hurt her."

Anya sagged, crestfallen. "I didn't think about Tara. Well, maybe if we discuss it with her, she'll agree that it's the right course of action. She probably doesn't want you hanging over Willow's head anymore than I want Willow hanging over yours. Although that sounds sort of kinky. Feel free to try that with her if you like, in some way or another. I want it to be pleasant for you."

"Well, then, what about--" Xander bit off the sentence and stood, his chair scraping loudly against the linoleum floor. "I can't believe we're actually discussing this. No. It's not going to happen because I love you and you're the one I want to have all my sex with. Anyway, you're an ex-vengence demon. I would think that you, of all people, would be against this."

She smiled, her eyes sparkling. "Thanks. That was really sweet. Well, the part about loving me and wanting to have sex with me." She paused, a bemused look sweeping over her face. "And you know what? I think my being an ex-demon is precisely the reason I understand this so well. Once we're married, I wouldn't want you to be the slightest bit unfaithful, so you may as well get it out of your system now. Oh, I know right now you probably couldn't imagine cheating-- which I appreciate, by the way-- but I also know that the day will come when you can. So let's just get that out of the way."

"Anya!" he half-yelled in frustration, "This is not happening! I'm not doing it! We're not even going to talk about it anymore!"

"Yes, you are," she retorted in a steely voice. "You're going to do this, Xander, because you love me and you want me to be happy, right? Right?"

"You know," he said softly, "usually it's fine when you want me to do something outrageous. I just smile and go with the flow. But not now, not about this."

"Go with the flow," she urged brightly. "We'll both be much happier in the long run, I promise."

Xander glanced at his watch and sighed. "Okay. I've got to go; I'm late. Hopefully you'll be back on this planet when I come home tonight."

"All right," she relented, and he felt a spark of hope until her next words. "I'll call Willow and set it up."

"No, don't!" he shouted, panicked. Even under the best of circumstances, Willow could get annoyed with Anya. And these definitely weren't the best of circumstances. "Look. If it means so much to you, I'll run it by Willow. After she's done laughing and tells me what she thinks, I'll come home and we can talk again, okay?"

"Okay!" Anya smiled happily at him and then stood, clasping his arm and walking him to the door. She kissed him soundly on the mouth and patted his arm. "Love you. Have a good day."

"Love you too," he murmured absently, and then proceeded to leave, more confused about women than ever.
* * * * * *

Xander let himself into the Summers' house and closed the door behind him. "Willow?" he called out.

She came down the stairs. "Hey."

He sighed. "Hey. Where is everyone?"

"Dawn's at one of her friends houses. Buffy, Giles and Tara are at the Magic Box. What's up?" She peered at him closely. "You look terrible."

"Yeah, I feel it too," he mumbled tiredly. They went into the living room and sat down. "Thanks for staying."

"Anytime," she said easily. "You sounded so weird when you called. What happened? Is something wrong?"

"Yeah." Xander rubbed his eyes. "I have to have sex with you. As soon as possible."

Willow coughed. "Huh? You have to *what* with *who*?"

"That's what I said."

She took a deep breath. "Let's start over. Hi, I'm Willow."

"Relax, Willow." Xander snorted derisively. "I didn't say I was going to; just that I have to. Anya wants us to. I think it's pre-pre-wedding jitters or something. She wants to make sure that we get our past... in the past and that you and I-- whatever we were at one point, romantically-- are buried."

"Oh." She felt vaguely hurt by the snort but moved past it. "You've explained the several reasons why this is insane, right?"

"I tried." He leaned his head back against the couch. "She brought it up this morning over breakfast and I was so... wigged, I'm not sure I said everything possible to talk her out of this idea. Although, to be honest, she seemed like she'd thought it through. I'm not sure there *is* any talking her out of this idea."

"Well, it's simple." Willow shrugged and patted his knee. "We just don't go along with it."

"I know. This is a nightmare, though."

"Hey," she said, insulted. "It's not *so* unthinkable. There was a time when I'm pretty sure you would've loved to sleep with me!"

"Relax." He smiled wearily. "I just meant that Anya even suggested it. Now I'm going to have to go home and try to explain why you and I are past that point in our relationship. Any suggestions?"

Willow opened her mouth to respond and then shut it, no ideas coming to mind. She looked at Xander, startled.

He stared back at her, a questioning look on his face. "Will?"

"I..."

The phone rang then, and Willow's breath escaped in a 'whoosh.' She jumped up quickly and picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Willow?" Tara's voice rang out.

"Hi, Baby." Willow sighed with relief. "What's going on?"

"Um... Have you heard from Xander yet today?"

"He's over here now." She shot a confused look at him and mouthed 'Tara.' He nodded.

"Oh. Well, I'm here at the Magic Box and Anya said something to me that..." Tara trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

"Oh, God." Willow felt sick. She turned to Xander, who perked up at that, interested. "Anya's been talking with Tara."

Xander bolted off the sofa. "Oh, God."

"What did she say to you, Tara?" Willow asked, praying desperately that Anya had just wanted some witchcraft tips.

"Well, she told me that she had this talk with Xander today and I think we should discuss it," Tara replied, sounding strange.

"Discuss what? It's insane!"

"Yeah, I know." Tara laughed but cut the sound short. "But let's talk anyway."

"Um. Okay. Are you coming home?" Willow ventured.

"Right now."

"See you in a bit. Love you!"

"Love you too."

They disconnected and Willow turned back around to face Xander.

But he was gone.