Many enthusiastic thanks to MrsBertucci for the beta and for the amazing title for this fic!
I used two prompts from timepetalsprompts winter fic bingo, over on Tumblr: hot cocoa and treats.
The Fondoodler™ is a real thing: When I heard about it, I knew the Doctor would love this gadget, and weeell, this story was born. I cannot vouch for its safety as Rose intends for it to be used, but for the purposes of this story I am going to claim creative license.
Dreaming of a White Cheddar: A Fondoodler™ Fantasy
Walking down a busy London street on Christmas Eve, Rose Tyler congratulated herself. She had never had any problem choosing gifts for the Doctor. Big things, small things: they were all greeted with equal enthusiasm, and he loved them all. But this year, she had managed to sneak a very rare piece of alien tech out of Torchwood before the Doctor had even had a chance to get wind of it, never mind catalogue it. She was sure it was just the thing he needed to help overcome the stabilization issues he'd been experiencing with the embryonic TARDIS coral's growth medium. As the coral had been native to the Prime Universe, she was finicky about the Pete's World-based matrices the Doctor had been providing. This device would allow the baby TARDIS to adapt to her new surroundings, and help her to make the transition necessary for her to be able to traverse time and space in this dimension.
Rose grinned, adding a skip to her step, and taking in the festive scene around her. The city was decked out in style for the holidays, jolly decorations over every street lamp, and fairy lights and tinsel shimmering from every window.
Suddenly she stopped, her eyes captivated by the sight of one particular shop window. But it wasn't the glitter and creatively applied artificial snow that caught her attention; it was the product she saw advertised there: the Fondoodler™! It was like a hot glue gun, but one you could fill with cheese. Play with your food the slogan read. Well, if that didn't sum up the Doctor to a tee, she didn't know what did.
She drew closer to the window, reading the description of the product (you could squirt it right into your mouth… so the cheese wouldn't necessarily be too hot for skin contact) and only grew more excited as the (ahem… erotic) potential for this little gadget became all too clear.
Minutes later, she was exiting the shop, a Fondoodler™ tucked into a little bag that swung by her side. A stop at her favourite lingerie shop and a quick trip to the supermarket for a variety of nice cheeses, including a white cheddar they were both very fond of, and she would be ready to give the Doctor an extra-special Christmas present. The Torchwood gadget was obviously going to be a very meaningful gift, a priceless treasure to both of them, but the Fondoodler™ was something fun and lighthearted and something Rose hoped would also bring them both great joy of a different kind.
-oOo-
Rose and the Doctor had their own personal wing in the Tyler mansion, set aside for them by Jackie, so they could stay overnight any time they liked but the rest of the family wouldn't have to "listen to them shaggin' like dogs". They had planned to stay there on Christmas Eve so they could baby-sit Rose's brother, Tony, while Pete and Jackie were out at a Christmas party. This arrangement also had the advantage of allowing them to join in the excitement of opening gifts with the family first thing in the morning.
The Doctor was just as enthusiastic as the five-year-old about the prospects of Christmas morning. He and Tony whispered conspiratorially to one another as he sat by the Christmas tree and helped the little boy wrap presents for his sister and parents. Rose even overheard Tony telling the Doctor his theory that Father Christmas must be a Time Lord: "How else can he deliver gifts to children all over the world in jus' one night? And his sleigh must be biggah on the inside! 'S the only way it could evah 'old all those toys!"
The Doctor beamed at the little boy. "You're just as clever as your sister," he crowed. "But, have you considered the possibility that Father Christmas is, in fact… a wizard?"
Rose had to smother her laughter at the shocked look on her brother's face.
"Time-turners, and undetectable extension charms…" the Doctor gave Tony a cheeky wink, "that's all I'm saying."
"Nearly time for bed, Toto," Rose smiled, ruffling the boy's blond head, "or Father Christmas won't be leavin' presents 'ere tonight, regardless of whether 'e's Time Lord or wizard. You two finish up what you're doin' and we can 'ave 'ot cocoa, and leave a few sweets for Father Christmas and treats for his reindeer too. And then off to bed, Little Mister."
Several hours later, they had finally managed to convince Tony to fall asleep, after the Doctor had told him about a few of his own Christmas adventures, including the one where he had got a brand new body and Rose had looked after him while he recuperated.
"I quite like the brand new body," Rose hummed from the doorway, where she had been leaning, fondly watching the Doctor interacting with Tony. She stretched up for a kiss as he approached, tiptoeing away from Tony's bedside. "Although the previous one was gorgeous too: good smile; nice bum," she added, giving his current bum a squeeze.
He yelped, "Oi!"
"Shhhhh… ya plonker!" she hissed. "B'sides, it's time Father Christmas put the presents under the tree."
"I'm on it!" The Doctor rushed past her and down the hallway. "Time Lord and all, y'know..."
"You're jus' after the Jammy Dodgers!"
"Too right!" he called back from the top of the stairs. "You snooze, you lose, Tyler!"
-oOo-
The next morning was filled with whoops of delight from both Tony and the Doctor, as they opened their gifts. The Doctor's eyes glistened with tears as he unwrapped the device Rose had smuggled out of Torchwood. He stood up from his place in front of the tree, bouncing in small circles, beaming and clutching his hair in joy, and reminding Rose of nothing more than a big, goofy puppy. "Oh… oh… Rose! A transdimensional molecular adapter! How did you… Oh, Rose! The TARDIS… now she'll be able to… now we can…" He leaped over to sit next to her, crushing her against him in a euphoric hug. "Before you know it, love, we'll be back sailing through space and time, you and me!"
As he pulled back to look her in the eye, Rose gave him her brightest smile, adorned with the tip of her tongue. "Thought that might come in handy, yeah?"
"Oh, yes! My brilliant Rose! It's perfect. You watch, the TARDIS'll perk right up, once I get this little gizmo hooked up! Brilliant!" Much to Rose's delight, he leaned in, his lips brushing hers. She couldn't help the little mew of desire that escaped as he deepened the kiss, his hands rising to cup her cheeks, and his tongue slipping, warm and wet, between her lips. As she brought her fingers to thread through the hair at the nape of his neck, his moan of pleasure brought on a surge of hot, wet arousal, and she rutted a little against his thigh–"
Suddenly, she felt the sting of something light and crunchy striking her left cheek, and she pulled out of the kiss just as her mum lobbed another balled-up piece of wrapping paper at her head. The Doctor frantically raised his arms to shield them from the onslaught.
"Right! You lot!" Jackie snarled.
Rose looked up to see Jackie glaring at her and the Doctor, eyes fiery. Behind her stood Pete, arms crossed and brow furrowed. He shook his head in disapproval. Tony peeked out from behind Jackie's legs, grinning and giving Rose a double thumbs-up.
Jackie continued her tirade. "This is a family occasion. The two of you," she launched a final ball of wrapping paper at the Doctor, who squeaked in exasperation, "can bleedin'-well take your randy selves upstairs to your room if this is how you're goin' to be'ave. I won't be 'avin' this be'aviour goin' on in front o' Tony. An' me and your father don' wanna see it either, ta!"
Rose's libido plummeted, and her cheeks burned. "Sorry, Mum…"
"Need bleedin' chastity belts, you do," Jackie grumbled as she turned her attention to the gifts beneath the tree. She pulled one out and shoved it at the Doctor. "'Ere."
"For me?" The Doctor blanched, raising a hesitant left eyebrow, and Rose stifled a chuckle.
"Cor, don't worry, ya plum. Ain't nothin' dangerous."
He gingerly opened the gift, revealing a beautiful silk tie, dark blue and embellished with red roses. "Thanks, Jackie. It's brilliant." He offered her a genuine smile of gratitude.
Jackie flushed and bent over to give him a big, wet kiss on the cheek.
His smile tightened into something of a grimace as she pulled away, and Rose immediately forestalled whatever rude comment was about to leave his gob by drawing his attention back to the tie, stroking it with her fingers. She whispered in his ear, her voice growing husky, "Feels so silky, so soft and smooth. I'd love for you to tie me up with this…"
He moaned, but cast a furtive glance in the direction of Jackie. Rose followed his gaze to where Jackie stood, arms akimbo, glowering.
"Honestly!" she muttered, turning her back on them again.
"Oh, speaking of which…" Unconcerned by her mother's censure, Rose remembered the Fondoodler™. "I have another little somethin' for you, Doctor." She leaned over to whisper in his ear again. "Somethin' I think we can have fun with later, yeah?"
"Oh?" he grinned, raising his eyebrows in anticipation.
She leaped up and found the box where it had been shoved back under the tree. "'Ere ya go!" She watched his eyes brighten as he took the package from her, admiring the bright red bow. "Well, open it!" She wriggled in anticipation.
"Patience, love," he teased, peeling the paper from the box, bit by agonizing bit, a smug grin twitching at his lips.
God he was gorgeous! Those fingers! Rose wished she was that gift, being unwrapped and touched by those long, slender fingers. She whimpered softly, and from deep in his throat, she heard his little growl in response.
After many suggestive whispers and heated looks, he had finally removed all the paper, revealing the Fondoodler™ and the various cheeses Rose had chosen. His eyes widened, wonder transforming his face as he processed what the gift was. "Rose Tyler! This... this is going to be the best Christmas ever in all the history of Christmases!"
"Yeah? Think you could put that to good use, then?" She waggled her eyebrows at him seductively.
"Oh, this is… brilliant! The potential of this! Brilliant." He pulled her toward him, planting a firm kiss to her forehead. "Thank-you, love! Where did you find it?"
"Jus' in a little shop. 'S not too cheesy, is it?" she quipped.
He chuckled. "Oooh, I see what you did there! And no, it's perfect! Molto bene! See, Rose Tyler, just another reason why I love a little shop." He gave her forehead another kiss. "This is going to be brilliant! Completely fantastic!"
-oOo-
A few hours later, Rose stood watching him from the pantry doorway as he completed his third scale model built of melted cheese and crackers. His project sat on a long wooden table, and he knelt in front of it, his tongue curled behind his front teeth as he concentrated on placing the last cracker, securing it with cheese cement.
"W'at's this one, then?" Rose sighed, a fond smile on her lips.
"This! This, Rose Tyler, is none other than the Temple of Oorganoth, on the planet Shlobeith, just at the peak of their little Empire. Exquisite architecture, unrivalled in the galaxy!"
"Blimey!" Jackie snarked as she peered in from behind Rose. "Are you still at it? Usin' up all my bloomin' cheese! And my biscuits!"
"Eh, you should be thanking me, Jackie. You can put these on display at your New Year's party. Décor you can eat! How great is that? They'll be the talk of the party. Liven things up a bit. Didn't like to mention it, but your parties..." he screwed up his face "…weeell, they could use a little more... oomph."
"That does it!" Jackie strode into the room, eyes sparking. "You want oomph?"
The Doctor staggered to his feet, backing into the table, making his sculptures rock perilously. He desperately threw out his arms to steady them. "Now, Jackie…"
"I'll give you oomph. Right in the bol–"
"Mum!" Rose shouted, throwing herself between Jackie and the Doctor, her hands in the air. "This isn't going to solve anything!"
"Yeah, but it would feel great!" She lunged around Rose with a loud growl, hands brandished like talons.
"No, it really wouldn't!" the Doctor squeaked, ducking behind Rose.
Tony came rushing in at that moment, lurching to a stop the moment he saw the Doctor's sculptures. "Wow! Those look amazin'!" he exclaimed, oblivious to the row the adults were having. "Hey, Doctah! Could ya build Hogwarts? Could ya?"
"Sure thing, Tony Tyler! I was just trying to decide what to embark on next–"
"I'll give you a place to embark," Jackie muttered.
"Mum!" Rose snapped.
"Embark ya right back to your old universe…"
"Mum!"
Rose's heart warmed as the Doctor studiously ignored Jackie's remarks, and instead crouched down to Tony, clapping a hand on the little boy's shoulder. "But I'll need your help. Hogwarts is a fictional building, you know, which means… we can make it any way we like."
"I bet it's huuuuuuge!" Tony spread his arms out wide. "With lots of sticky-up bits!"
"I bet you're right! We're going to need a lot more cheese and crackers!"
"Tons more!"
"Oh, I don't think so!" Jackie's hands flew to her hips.
"Pleeeeeease, Mummy," Tony entreated. "Pleeeeeeease."
Rose watched in poorly veiled amusement as the Doctor and her mum stared daggers at one another, Jackie's eyes occasionally flicking to the pleading, puppy-dog eyes of her son.
"Urrrgh!" Jackie grumbled. "I don' know why I bother." She turned to leave. "Right, you two! Don't you dare let me catch you botherin' the cooks. Dinner is at five, sharp!" She marched out of the pantry.
The Doctor and Tony looked at each other and hooted in triumph. The Doctor swept Tony into his arms. "Now, Little Mister, we need to find tons more cheese and crackers!"
Rose grinned at the camaraderie the two shared. "I guess I'll catch you later," she called out to the Doctor's retreating back. "Save some cheese for tonight, yeah?" she singsonged. "Some of that nice white cheddar, perhaps?"
He waved to her in response. "Oh, yes! You just bet I will!"
-oOo-
Hogwarts had been completed in time for Christmas dinner, and even Jackie had been grudgingly impressed at the complexity of the cheesy structure. The dinner itself was delicious, everyone complimenting the cooks' skill, and the Doctor and Pete stuffing themselves with seconds and thirds of everything. The Christmas pudding was brought in, flaming, with the Doctor marvelling about the origins of various Christmas traditions. He gripped Rose's hand, and beamed at her, and seemed as thrilled about spending Christmas with her family as he had ever been seeing the wonders of a strange planet for the first time. He was so full of enthusiasm and joy, Rose couldn't say no to him when he asked if she minded if he be excused from the table to build yet another structure with his Fondoodler™.
A few hours later, after tucking Tony into bed, she went down to the pantry to offer him a cuppa and a bowl of trifle.
"Mmmmm, thanks, love," he brought a scoop of the rich dessert to his lips, and kissed her, covering her in cream. Before her own tongue could lick the cream away, his was there, swiping the cream from her lips. "Ah, Rose Tyler, you taste delicious!"
"So do you." She deepened the kiss, and reached down to cup his groin, finding him already half-hard. "Tell ya what. I'm…" kiss "…gonna go upstairs…" kiss "…have a nice bath…" kiss "and get ready for bed." She gazed up at him through her lashes, watching his eyes darken and his cheeks flush.
"I… I won't be long," he stammered. "I just want to put the finishing touches on Big Ben, here. See, I even have the spaceship crashing into it!"
Rose laughed in proud disbelief. "That's amazin'! You finish up, love. I'm goin' to soak in some of those bath bubbles you gave me."
"The banana-scented ones!" He grinned, and waggled his eyebrows.
"The very same. And don't forget to bring the Fondoodler™ up with you when you come!"
He placed a lingering kiss on her cheek. "How could I forget?"
"See ya later," she gave him a sultry wink as she left the room, but he had already turned back to his construction.
-oOo-
Many hours later, Rose yanked off her "Mrs. Claus"-themed lingerie, and angrily flung it to the floor at the foot of the bed. She pulled on her old T-shirt and sleep shorts, and dejected, crawled under the covers and turned off the lights. He had never come up. He had actually forgotten her in favour of designing more scale model buildings with his precious Fondoodler™, she presumed. She fought back tears.
It was only a few minutes later when he finally appeared, but she steadfastly pretended to be asleep.
"Rose?" His tentative whisper cut through the darkness.
She refused to respond.
"Rose?" He was a little more insistent this time. "Ow! What the…" She heard him shuffling and fumbling, as he stumbled in the dark. "Oh! Ow! Fuck! Bloody useless human eyesight! Rose, love? Please, love. I know you're awake."
She remained silent.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I got carried away. Started on another model. The Titanic: the spaceship, not the doomed ocean vessel. And I was off to get more cheese from the fridge, when I realized the time. And then… oh, Rose…"
She held her breath, guessing what would come next.
"There was no more cheese. I used it all up."
Yup, that was it.
"I used every last scrap, and well, I knew you were waiting and expecting me to bring the Fondoodler™… with cheese (of course, with cheese… with that white cheddar, in fact) so we could, weeell… have fun with it. So I went out to see if there was a shop open."
"It's Christmas day, ya daft git," she chided, breaking her silence.
"Weeell, technically it isn't Christmas any more…"
"It's the middle of the bloody night!"
"Yeah, wasn't thinking things through…"
"No kiddin'" Rose pulled the duvet further over her head, hunkering down under the covers.
"Rose…"
"Go 'way."
"I am sorry, Rose. I love you more than anything. Way more than cheese and biscuit sculptures or transdimensional molecular adapters or travelling through space and time. Those things would mean so little if you weren't there to share them with me."
Rose huffed, tears welling in her eyes. She chanced a peek at him over the edge of the duvet. He stood silhouetted in the doorway, holding something in his hands. He held it up to examine it in the dim light: her discarded Mrs. Santa teddy.
"This… this… what is this thing? It looks like something you would look beautiful wearing."
"Was wearin' it, waitin' for you."
She heard him sigh. "I'm sorry. But you know you're beautiful now, anyway. You're always beautiful."
"Shut up…"
"Can I hold you? I really want to hold you."
She didn't know how to respond. She was still furious with him, and wanted to be sure he understood that, but she loved him so much. In the end, she said nothing.
"Rose…? Weeell, guess I'll just go back down, sleep on the sofa."
Rose's heart clenched as she heard the soft thud of the lingerie dropping on the end of the bed, and then the snick of the door as he closed it behind him as he left. She wanted to run after him and tell him to come back; tell him she wanted him to hold her so very much; tell him how much she loved him and all his little obsessions and quirks.
And she would… but first, she wanted to be dressed for the occasion.
-oOo-
Only ten minutes later, she had managed to recurl her hair and reapply her make-up, maneuver her way into the complicated lacing of the Mrs. Santa teddy, pull on some red, fishnet, thigh-high stockings, and successfully hook them up to the garter straps of the teddy! A pair of sexy, black, stiletto-heeled boots completed the outfit.
She burst out of the bedroom, and rushed down the stairs as fast as she could in her tall heels. At the bottom she nearly crashed into the Doctor, who was on his way up.
"I'm sorry!" they both burst out at once, pulling one another into a tight embrace.
Rose pulled back a little to have a good look at him, and burst out laughing: he wore nothing but a Santa hat and the tie Jackie had given him earlier, and he was absolutely gorgeous. And she was delighted to note, as he ogled her in her Mrs. Santa outfit, his cock sprang quickly to attention.
"Hello handsome," Rose crooned, licking her lips and taking his cock in hand, stroking him to full hardness. "Hold me, Doctor?"
"Oh, yes! Anytime! And, by the way, Rose, we may not have any cheese for the Fondoodler™, but we still have this." He waggled his eyebrows as he lifted the end of the tie and trailed it down her neck, across her collarbones, and dipped it into her fur-trimmed cleavage. "Do you still want me to tie you up with this? I could just hold you… or I could hold you hostage, Mrs. Claus, and have my way with you. Santa has many… toys to choose from."
A rush of arousal soaked the crotch of the teddy as she gazed up at him, mesmerized by his words. "Fuck, yes!" She took him by the hand and together they stumbled up the stairs. At the top, he pulled her against him, snogging her with desperate moans, their noses bumping and teeth clacking and everything wet and messy and wonderful. His fingers traced the edges of the teddy where it slipped between her thighs, teasing her, intensifying the ache of her arousal. As he tugged the fabric to one side, she hitched a leather-clad leg around his waist, bringing the slick, exposed flesh of her sex against his straining cock. They both groaned in ecstasy at the contact, and reaching her hand between them, Rose guided his cock to her entrance.
"Fuck, Rose," the Doctor grunted as he thrust into her, the white pompom on the tip of his Santa hat, twitching with the force of his movement. He drew out, only to plunge forcefully into her again, the impact of his body against her clit bringing cries of rapture spilling from her lips.
"I'm so close, Doctor!" she whimpered, the coil of pleasure tightening inside her. "Please… harder, harder!"
"I'll give you harder!" Jackie's shrill shout brought them both up short.
"Bloody hell, Rose!" the Doctor bleated as he pulled out of her.
"Mum!" Rose yelped, her foot dropping to the floor from around the Doctor's waist. Her heart thundered with the strange combination of fear and arousal.
"Don't you "Mum" me, Missy! You two are goin' to get such a smack! Don't think I won't!"
"We… we were just…" the Doctor stammered.
"…just heading back to our bedroom," Rose supplied, glancing to the Doctor for confirmation. They both nodded vigorously at Jackie, the Doctor straightening his Santa hat and belatedly covering his private parts with his hands.
"What is it? What's 'appenin', Mummy?" Tony's sleepy voice sounded from behind Jackie.
Jackie shrieked, pulling the nonplussed little boy against her, spinning around so her back was to the Doctor and Rose, effectively hiding his young eyes from the sexually-charged scene taking place in front of him.
The Doctor wasted no time taking advantage of Jackie's distraction, whispering in Rose's ear: "Run!"
Giggling like idiots, they fled, hand in hand, down the hallway to their bedroom.
"Now, Mrs. Claus," the Doctor turned his heated gaze on Rose, as he slammed the door shut behind them, "you have officially been put on my naughty list, shouting so loudly while I fucked you, waking everyone up. It's time you were punished."
Rose shivered in delight as the Doctor unwound his tie from his neck and wrapped it around her wrists.
"And tomorrow," he hissed in her ear, tugging her toward the bed, "we'll buy some more cheese and head straight back to my workshop. I believe there's one more toy that needs further testing..."
-Fin-