Carol knew the party was a bad idea right from the jump but she just didn't want to stay home alone. It was New Years and she was off for once, and she knew she shouldn't waste it.
Tara and Denise had begged her at work to please come to their party, even though he would be there. She could ignore him all night, like she did at work after she broke her cardinal rule and had no one but herself to blame for it.
Nurse's simply did not sleep with doctors, everyone knew that, but his eyes and boyish good looks had pulled her in and before she knew it she was in love.
Then before she knew it she had a broken heart.
And then regret followed soon after.
It wasn't his fault that he was so busy, or that he had second thoughts about seeing someone he worked with every day. He hadn't been able to resist her, he said and Carol knew how that felt.
Still she had not seen it coming and was so blindsided by it.
Daryl was one of a kind, a brilliant doctor and frequently in the ER where she worked. His diagnostic skills impressed her, maybe more than his looks had. She had loved his mind way before she loved his kisses, but now it was over.
On Halloween night he had told her, he needed some space. She decided to give him as much space as humanly possible and transferred out of the ER to the ICU. Their paths rarely crossed at work now and she didn't answer his texts or calls.
He had said he was sorry around Thanksgiving and that he had had acted hastily, but Carol wouldn't take him back, she couldn't. She had spent weeks crying over him and then he changed his mind? She didn't trust him now, and was afraid he would just do it again.
Daryl was probably just feeling sentimental on the holiday anyway, and she wasn't buying what he was selling again.
Her friends meant well in the weeks after, reminding her that doctors were sometimes selfish or bad communicators, but that didn't ease the ache she felt inside, the sadness. He had made her feel like the most important person in his life and then suddenly yanked the carpet right out from under her feet.
They had made plans for a future together, he said he loved her.
After the initial crying and writing free verse poetry every day, which was her hobby, she eventually got over it. Writing had been her first love, but not a love that she felt she could make a living at and besides, she was a good nurse.
Carol cared about her patients as if they were her own family and that was rare to find sometimes. A lot of people were in it for the money, and at first that was the appeal for her as well, but quickly she discovered she was good at it and loved it.
She was off for the New Year's holiday because she had worked Christmas, and because she had transferred, she was able to go to the party with her friends from the ER. Usually someone was always left behind to work, but this year she could be with them.
It was too good an opportunity to miss, because last year she and Tara had worked and had been swamped all night, with various injuries and what not. No car accidents though and they had been grateful for that, she hoped it would be the same this year.
The census in the ICU was down so they only needed two nurses for the night and so Carol was off and determined to have fun, despite Daryl Dixon and his fickle heart.
That's why she was going, to have fun with her friends, she told herself, not for him. Hell he might show up with a date for all she knew, so to get ready for that she put her song on.
We are never, ever, ever getting back together. We are never, ever, ever getting back together.
Carol was not a big Taylor Swift fan, but that song? It hit home so well and made her smile. She drove to Denise and Tara's house and as soon as she pulled up she saw his motor cycle. Damn.
But also she saw Glenn Rhee's car, he was a respiratory therapist like Denise and his wife Maggie was a veterinarian and worked with her father.
There were lots of cars there, she saw Lori Grimes VW, so she and her husband were there too. There were a lot of people there to preoccupy her and she was grateful for that. It still hurt and even though she dreaded seeing him, she wanted to see her friends more.
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He stared at her from across the room as if she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, in fact she was. Carol avoided him, but she could feel his eyes moving over her. He had worn a blue shirt and it brought out his eyes so much it was a horrible distraction to her.
Maybe it was time to talk to him, maybe if she did he wouldn't look at her that way anymore, as if she was the one who broke his heart. Daryl watched her mingling and talking to everyone and noticed she had drank two glasses of champagne, so had he but who was counting.
He made up his mind around ten fifteen to approach her, surely she would talk to him here, he understood her transfer and refusal to have anything to do with him. But he had something to say, something he should have said right away, but at the time he had thought he was doing the right thing.
Daryl had tried to protect her from the worry of something that never ended up happening and tonight he swore he would tell her the truth.
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"Hey," He said as he came up behind her on the back deck of Tara's house around eleven thirty. He'd had another champagne, trying to work up his nerve but he knew it was now or never.
Denise and Tara had strung up fairy lights outside and the deck was cast in a sweet warm glow. It was a beautiful, warm night and the party had moved outside because they were going to light off fireworks at midnight.
Rick and Glenn were in charge of that and promised a spectacular show to their friends. Carol hoped no one would end up at the ER tonight, sometimes fireworks led to injuries, unfortunately.
There were people sitting at tables and standing around in the warmth of a New Year's in the south. "Pretty romantic out here," Daryl whispered into her ear.
Carol rolled her eyes towards him and she couldn't help but smile, that was why she avoided him all this time, he could and would pull her back and she was afraid. He was charming, sweet and adorable and that was deadly to her.
"I suppose," She answered, trying to hide the grin. Why, oh why did she have to think he was so cute. Why?
We are never, ever, ever getting back together ran through her head.
"I need to tell you something," He said, "Something I should have told you long ago."
Carol shook her head, "I don't want to know."
Then his hand was on her shoulder and he was leading her off to the side, where no one was standing. "Please," He said, with eyes so soft that she felt herself falling again.
He stopped when he had gotten her away from the crowd, but he didn't take his hand off her shoulder.
"I don't want to do this Daryl." She complained, but he was looking at her that way again, with soft and loving eyes. The champagne had mellowed and relaxed her and finally she capitulated and allowed him to speak.
"I'm so sorry, Carol." He said.
Carol leaned back against the house and looked up at him. "Fine, say whatever you feel so compelled to say, but do it fast."
"I'm sorry," He said softly.
"Sorry?" Carol replied, "You broke my heart, you made me feel special, and loved and you broke my heart, you were supposed to be…" She waved her hand, as if to say forget it, it's not important.
"What?" He answered softly again, "What was I supposed to be?"
Carol huffed, "Nothing, its nothing."
"Please," He stared into her eyes, "Please tell me."
"You were supposed to be my New Year's kiss." She blurted out as she felt the blush creep over her face, she was grateful it was dark and he couldn't see.
"And you mine." He replied.
"Well, you decided…"
She was right, he had decided to end it with her after eight months of happiness, but he hadn't told her why and she deserved to know.
Daryl had regrets, and for once in his life he was going to go after what he wanted and was going to fight for it if he had to.
"I had a tremor," He said quietly. "You know about my mother, I thought it was MS."
Daryl's mother was wheelchair bound and had MS, she had been diagnosed at thirty-five, the same age he was now. Carol didn't know what to say, and so she said nothing and let him continue.
"I went to Atlanta for a spinal tap and MRI."
"And?" She replied almost breathless now, she was mad at him but she didn't wish him harm at all. She understood how being a doctor, a neurologist by specialty had clouded his mind about their relationship. He had been trying to spare her the grief and her heart melted just a bit at that realization.
"Negative."
Carol let out the breath she didn't even know she had been holding and touched his hand which was still on her shoulder. He placed his other hand on her shoulder, sensing she was understanding things a little better now.
"Thank God." She said, as she looked up into his eyes in the glow of the moonlight and the fairy lights. There was a spell falling over her, either from the champagne or the man before her, but something was happening to her and it was not as unwelcome as she thought it would be.
"I know I should have told you, but I got scared and I didn't want you to stay with me out of pity." His eyes showed that he was telling her the absolute truth, however misplaced, his intentions had been to spare her and not to hurt her.
"Daryl, I'm a nurse for God's sake, I would have helped you."
He shook his head. "I could have never asked you to do that."
Carol squeezed his hand that was on her shoulder and he moved it down to her waist. Of course it was his pride, but she understood, as a doctor he delivered bad news to people every day, but he couldn't bear to give it to her.
"I know I fucked up." Daryl whispered.
"Yeah, you did."
Elsewhere on the deck people were getting ready to countdown to New Years. Everyone was out on the deck now, but they remained in their little corner and no one was going near them. Denise nudged Tara as she stood up from the cooler with another bottle and pointed towards them.
"It's about time." Tara said as she popped the cork on another bottle.
Glenn and Rick were preparing to light up the sky, but it was as if no one was there but them as they looked at each other. He brushed a lock of hair out of her face and secured it behind her ear and she touched his cheek softly.
"Can I have another chance? I can't stop thinking about you."
Carol wanted to say yes, she really did.
"I'm scared, you hurt me so badly."
"I know," He said, "Can you forgive me?"
"All I can say is that I'll try." Carol said, but she let him bring his other hand down to her waist and settled her own hands on his broad chest.
"It's almost New Year's, can I be your New Year's kiss?" He looked at her hopefully.
Carol nodded her head.
"And can I start now?" He said and she laughed.
Then he was kissing her and soon Glenn and Rick lit off the fireworks as everyone counted down to the New Year. Daryl pulled her close, as if he would never let her go again and gave her that New Year's kiss.
He kissed her every New Year's after that night and after they eventually got married, always like it was their first New Year's Eve together.