A/N: Fairy Tail does not belong to me in any way, shape, or form. Thanks!

I know it's been awhile since I posted anything, but school is getting harder. We just finished up with midterms, but that means we're kicking it into high-gear now with finals in a month and a half. This popped into my head and since it's just a one-shot and I actually finished my hw early for once, here we are!

She had just closed her eyes, just finished going through the latest mental scene for her next story, when there was a knock on their door.

Lucy heard muffled laughter and then another knock.

She would have ignored it, honest she would, but it was probably close to midnight and Erza was waking up early for her 8 am and God help whatever poor sap was on the other side of their door if Erza woke up. Lucy was tempted to let them face her wrath, but if Erza woke up, no doubt she'd wake up the rest of the hall, and then Meredy would come prancing down again to scold the two, all the while texting Ultear, who would in turn "accidently" text Jellal, mentioning something along the lines of, 'Can you believe Erza went and made a scene again? Honestly, at the rate she's going, she'll be kicked out for sure,' which would cue said bluenet's frantic drive over at two in the morning.

She didn't need that dramatic entry, nor Erza's shrieking at the surprise visit and subsequent make-out session, thank you very much.

She rolled off her bed, tiptoeing towards the door quickly, shooting a glance towards the redhead, who was still asleep, thank the heavens.

"What?" she pulled open the door a smidgen, narrowing her eyes at the sudden brightness of the door hallway, blinking a bit, focusing in on the guy in-front of their door. "It's late, what do you want?" She slipped past the door, stepping into the hallway so the light wouldn't accidently wake her roommate.

"Well? Go on~" Sorano purred, holding the bowl towards her childhood friend. How they all managed to get into the same college was a mystery none cared enough to look into, but that just meant they all got to do things like this well past their high school days. "Pick a number!"

Cobra plucked a slip of paper from the pile, unfolding it to show them. "60."

"Oooh~!" she was giggling, which was never a good sign. "Alright, alright, let's see…" she tapped one perfectly manicured nail against her lips, eyes sliding back and forth as she thought. "1360…" Her eyes lit up, lips curling into a smile. "Ohoho, I got the perfect one~!"

Beside her, Midnight rubbed at his eyes, valiantly fighting off sleep. "Nothing dangerous," was his mutter.

Sorano ignored him. "This is great. Okay, so, my dare for you, darling," she poked Cobra with her foot, "Go and knock on their door."

"That's it?"

Sorano's eyes nearly disappeared from the width of her smile. "Not at all. What you gotta do… is kiss whoever opens it." Cobra's mouth immediately turned down, eye narrowed on her. "Have a little faith in me. I know the girls. Would I choose this dare for a room that wasn't girls?"

"Knowing you? Probably," was his snarl.

"Go out and check the whiteboards yourself," she waved a hand towards the door and when her friend rolled to his feet, she grabbed Midnight's arm, tugging him along as they followed their grumpy roommate. She and Racer snickered as they followed right behind the maroon-haired psychology major, stopping when he did.

Right outside 1360.

"See? What I tell ya? Go on." She tugged on Racer, stepping back with him and Midnight in tow, eyes alight as Cobra knocked. He was never one to skip out on a dare (given his last experience with the horror that was Sorano's make-up box, he would never do so again) and waited a few moments before knocking again.

"If I get written up for sexual assault, I'm pulling out all the stops so you get dragged down with me," was his mild threat. She didn't doubt he would do so, but…

"No worries. Depending on who answers, it may just work out." He shot her a strange look, but then the door peeked open and Sorano's eyes lit up on the blonde. Sure, she wasn't dressed in her typical revealing clothing, but the old t-shirt was small enough to still show off all her assets and paired well with the shorts.

And Sorano knew the girl well enough that she wouldn't do something like turn them into Meredy. Yeah, she didn't like the blonde bombshell, but Lucy and her precious little sister Yukino were friends and with that knowledge in mind, Sorano kept quiet, watching intently with the boys.

"What?" She was either woken up or was just about to fall asleep. A second passed before she slipped out, closing the door softly behind her—Sorano didn't blame her. Erza could be fairly terrifying. "It's late, what do you want?" She crossed her arms over her chest and Sorano felt no remorse when she elbowed Sawyer sharply in the ribs. He let out a huff of air, but said nothing, too intent on watching the scene unfold.

"Well?" Lucy frowned up at their friend, then rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Look, you can't just knock and then just stand there like an idiot. It's late and I'm going to bed." She turned, grabbing the handle and pushing it open, just about to slip back inside when Cobra tugged on her free wrist, turning her around. "H-hey!"

Any further complaints were lost as their (secretly romantic) friend cupped her face, leaning in and kissing her full on the mouth.

He didn't know what he was expecting when Sorano got that look in her eyes, but this blonde goddess was not it.

Is he being poetic? No, definitely not. Nope, not at all.

Blonde, big brown eyes, and curves in all the right places.

"What?" She looked annoyed and her voice was barely above a hiss. A glance to the whiteboard on the wall showed two names: Lucy and Erza. Whoever this was, they apparently didn't want to wake the other, who was no doubt asleep. "It's late, what do you want?" The door opened a bit more, enough for her to squeeze through to stand before him. She crossed her arms over her chest and he commended himself on his self-control, resisting the urge to move his eyes from her face. He heard the harsh exhale that meant Sawyer was not as mentally strong. "Well?" She raised a brow, lips pressed in a thin line, then rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Look, you can't just knock and then just stand there like an idiot. It's late and I'm going to bed." She turned, giving him one last unamused look, grabbing the handle and pushing the door open, just about to slip back inside when he tugged on her free wrist, turning her around. "H-hey!"

Her skin was soft, he noted distantly, hand small and fitting into his nicely. Not that he was thinking about that. Just an observation.

He let go to cup her face, smirking a bit as she blinked up at him.

Well. A dare's a dare. And this one called for kissing. There was a moment where he considered giving her some warning, but figured she'd get the gist of it in a moment.

So he kissed her, pressing their lips together for only a few moments before he drew back, smirk back in place.

She blinked once. Twice. Thrice. "W-what…?"

"Pleasure's all mine, I assure you." The snort of laughter back and to his left told him Midnight found him amusing and while Racer rolled his eyes, Sorano grinned very much like the cat who caught the canary.

"Blondie~" the white-haired woman cooed and the girl shook herself, pulling away, cheeks a brilliant pink and eyes skirting around quickly.

"I-I… I…" and she fled, slipping back into their room.

They heard the lock click into place.

Racer collapsed in laughter while Cobra grinned, rolling his shoulders. "Di-did you see her face?! God, that was great! I don't think I've ever seen someone pull that expression around you before!"

"Probably because he's such a bad kisser," was Midnight's calm remark, already ambling back down to their room.

"Excuse you!"

Lucy pressed herself against the door, hand clasped over her mouth as she willed the heat to fade from her face.

She wasn't prepared for this in the slightest. Where, in all the pamphlets and hand-outs did it say drunks would knock on her door and kiss her at midnight? She doesn't remember them covering that at all in any of the orientation meetings she was forced to go to! She doesn't remember anyone telling her stories of this happening to them, doesn't remember any of her friends mentioning such a thing could happen! Did this happen often? Or was she just lucky?

"I… just got kissed by a drunk?" She pulled her hand away, scrunching up her nose at the taste still on her lips. She remembers now why she hates alcohol so much. Not only does it dull her senses, but it tastes terrible.

So. Fine. That happened. Question is, what does she do about it?

Well, first, she's brushing her teeth. That's a must. Second… She's tempted to scream, really she is. She's considering it. But if already went through so much to not wake Erza that screaming now would defeat the entire reason of getting into this situation.

And she didn't need Erza to start swearing vengeance for her honor, as sweet as it was. It was hard enough when guys hit on her in the redhead's presence and the woman tackled them to the ground, screaming about innocence and chivalry and numerous other things Lucy never paid attention to, to busy dragging the madwoman off the guy and apologizing to him before hurrying her away for cake.

But, better question…

Should she tell Natsu?

She should not have told Natsu.

If there's something she shouldn't tell Natsu, this would be it. This would most definitely be it. Because, as she forgot, if she told Natsu, Natsu would involve Gray and if Gray got involved, Juvia would wiggle her way in, bringing Gajeel with her, and if Gajeel got in on it, he'd complain to Levy (her best friend who she loves dearly) and if Levy got involved… Jet and Droy wouldn't be far behind. Not that there's anything wrong with Jet and Droy, they just… had no sense of foresight. They thought they were helping when they told Erza.

Who, predictably, freaked out. And told Jellal.

Jellal, who was level-headed and a lovely person, mentioned it to Meredy in an attempt to help and Meredy had brightened like she'd just been given the key to a candy store all for her, and it went downhill from there. Erza had scolded the girl for her match-making fantasies while Lucy was suffered from this assault ("I'd hardly call a kiss an assault, Erza!" "You're absolutely right, Lucy. This was sexual assault and I shall show them the error of their ways!") but Meredy had proceeded to gush about love and weddings, to the point that Jellal gently led her away, quietly humming out responses as the pinkette practically swooned while Erza continued to seethe.

Which, led them to the current predicament: Natsu was glued to her side and glowering at every guy they passed, harshly whispering, "Luce, is that the bastard?" every few seconds. Gajeel was on her other side, making snide remarks every so often when Lucy would try to get Natsu to actually go to his classes for the day—she pointed out that the pierced man was hardly any better, escorting her as well.

"But Luce! We can't just, ya know, leave you!"

"Sure you can. It's simple. I go into my class and you go into yours," was her bland response.

"But he could try again!"

Lucy gave him a fond smile, patting his arm. "Natsu, that's very kind of you, but I'll be alright. Promise." A kiss was a kiss. Yeah, she didn't know the guy and yeah, she was a little thrown as to why he did such a thing, but she'd be prepared if she saw him again; drunk or not, she would show him why you don't just kiss people randomly at midnight.

And as she brought herself out of her thoughts, she noticed a flash of white and blue. "Sorano!" She raised a hand, waving the woman down. She remembered Sorano had been there. Sorano knew the guy who kissed her.

Wait.

Sorano knew the guy who kissed her?

"Ohh, Blondie, it's you." Her fellow English major looked less than pleased to see her, but Natsu and Gajeel let her go, seeing as it was a friend. Which freed them up for a mild wrestling match in the middle of the hallway. "So, Jellal was telling me Erza's all worked up over something." A smile curled on her lips and Lucy immediately recognized it for what it was.

She frowned. "You put that guy up to it, didn't you?"

Sorano raised a hand, bracing it over her heart. "Me? Why would I do that?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe you'd like to tell me?" Lucy crossed her arms, frown in place, hearing the shouts and grunts from behind them, the concern floating through the hall as some students stopped to see what was going on. "Is there any reason you were outside my door last night?"

"Making sure he didn't back out."

Lucy scoffed, eyes narrowing further at the casual tone the woman took. "So you do know him."

"Of-course. Oh, by the way," the woman obsessed with angels dug into her purse, pulling out a little notebook and pen. She scribbled a few things down before tearing off the sheet and handing it over, smirk on her lips. "Name, phone number, room number. I look forward to hearing the outcome. Toodles," and with a short wave, she was gone.

Lucy stood there for a long moment, processing what had just happened.

Not only did Sorano know him, she put him up to it. And proceeded to give her everything she would need to sick Erza on him. Did she want that? Was she hoping for it? Was Sorano that cold that seeing Erza absolutely wrecking him made her day? Or was this all same plot? God knows Lucy's been involved with enough of her traps just by being friends with Yukino…

Erik Cubel "Cobra"

XXX-XXX-0977

Room 1347

He lived in her hall. He lived right down the hall from her.

She should totally tell Natsu and Erza.

She didn't tell either of them.

After her last class, she met up with Erza and Natsu was relieved of duty, passing her care onto the murderous redhead. He saluted, then bolted for Lisanna, tackling the girl and begging for the notes he missed in his effort to keep Lucy safe. Lisanna thought the whole thing was cute, but promised not to tell Mira (as if the girl didn't already know) and then they left her too, ambling off for lunch while the two roommates went off for their own meal.

"Have you seen him?" The redhead's eyes were a fire promising vengeance.

"I haven't." And it was true.

She didn't even think about seeing him again until they stepped into their hall. She glanced to the door on her right '1336' and it occurred to her that in just a few steps, she'd be in-front of his. She considered stopping and knocking, pointing him out and watching as Erza tore him to pieces, but as they moved closer, she fell a few steps behind, Erza making a beeline for their room.

This was probably a very bad idea. If anything, she'd probably be responsible for his murder. Did she want that hanging over her head? Would she be able to sleep at night, knowing she caused yet another of Erza's victims (the previous ones were all total jerks and deserved it for hitting on her and just being rude)?

But Sorano had given it to her… And he had been cute…

1347.

The names on the laminated little boxes on the whitebeard read 'Erik' and 'Macbeth'.

"Lucy?" Erza was well down the hall, stopping to look back at her. She painted a smile on her lips, waving her off.

"It's fine, I'll be there in a minute." Erza gazed at her for a moment, longer than she thought necessary, before shrugging and unlocking their door, disappearing inside. Lucy sucked in a breath and squared her shoulders.

And knocked.

She heard movement beyond the door and took a step back, prepared to give her speech on personal space and the definitions of proper conduct and behavior. Not that she supposed he would listen, but Natsu always complained that her lectures were painful.

A sleepy guy with dual colored hair blinked at her. "…hi." Lucy didn't plan for a roommate, but she was stupid to have not to. "Oh. Cobra, it's for you." And the door clicked shut as the guy walked away, leaving Lucy to blink at the beige painted wood.

It swung open a moment later and the guy from last night—Erik—was standing there, head and upper torso out in the hall.

They stared at each other for a moment, long enough for Lucy to forget her planned speech and long enough for him to straighten, opening the door more. "Hey."

That's all he had to say, 'hey'? That's it?

She smiled and took immense pleasure in the way he curled back, eye—eye? Oh, that's a scary looking scar—narrowing on her. "If you gotta a problem, take it up with—"

Lucy raised her hands, fingers curling in his hair to bring him down to her height, smile widening further at the grunt he gave, pressing her lips to his, much like he had done to her only twelve short hours ago.

Payback.

After counting to four in her head, she pulled away, smiling coyly up at his mildly dazed expression. "Now we're even. It's been a pleasure, Cobra." She winked, dropping her hands and turning on her heel, striding down the hall to her room and slipping inside without glancing back.

Once inside however, she squeaked, diving for her bed and burying her head in her pillow while Erza fluttered close, asking what could have possibly happened in two minutes.

Cobra stepped back inside, closing the door and taking a moment to stare at it.

"So what'd she say? Did she hit you?" Midnight inquired from his bed, propped up against the wall and flipping through a sketchbook. Red eyes flicked up to watch his roommate.

Cobra turned slowly, moving to his own bed, easing himself down and staring up at the ceiling. "I'm so screwed."

"Did she report you?"

"Nah, she kissed me."

Midnight stared at him, blinking a few times. "Is that… worse?"

"Probably. Think Sorano would give me her number?"

"Probably."

[2:36 pm] from XXX-XXX-0977: hey blondie

[2:36 pm] from Blondie: I'm warning you now, if you come within ten feet of me, you will be either maimed or thrown into a wall thanks to that stunt you pulled last night.

[2:37 pm] from Cobra: i thought we had a moment there

[2:38 pm] from Cobra: wait you mean that same one u just pulled? jeez, that's harsh

[2:39 pm] from Blondie: You're not the one with overprotective friends who are convinced that everyone's out to kidnap and murder me.

[2:40 pm] from Cobra: so, about dinner

[2:41 pm] from Blondie: What about it?

[2:42 pm] from Cobra: you mean to tell me that u had no intention of taking me out to dinner? thats just cruel, stringing me along like that blondie

[2:43 pm] form Blondie: I beg your pardon? I'M taking YOU to dinner?

[2:44 pm] from Cobra: if u insist. i'm thinking tacos

[2:45 pm] from Blondie: I'm not taking you to dinner.

[2:48 pm] from Cobra: fine i'll pick u up at 6. happy?

[2:49 pm] from Blondie: Did…

[2:50 pm] from Blondie: Did you just… ask me out? In a roundabout way?

[2:51 pm] from Cobra: is the answer yes?

[2:53 pm] from Blondie: Yes?

[2:54 pm] from Cobra: then yah

They heard the scream from their room down the hall and Cobra had half a mind to make a break for the window when they heard a war cry announcing that there would be chaperones involved.

Ohmygod this is probably so terrible, but it's out! It's posted! Hooray!

credit goes to shvartzit once again for use of Cobra's last name!

jesus... this is like... so baaaad...

so... tell me what you think?