Heaven's A Lie

Warnings: Major spoiler for the first episode of Season 2.

Disclaimer: Dude, as much as I love Supernatural, there is no way I could ever create something as awesome as that is.

Now that we know for sure
We're telling lies
When they say that no one gets hurt in life
And nobody dies
You know it's hard to believe anything
((Metal Heart – Garbage))

This was just all a bad nightmare, any minute now he'd wake up and find that he was in the hospital bed, that he was going to live and Sam was fine and his dad would be there with a grin that was mixed with relief, worry and fear that was fast dieing. He hadn't woken up yet. That was all this was. It was a nightmare that was so truly realistic in feelings, in emotions that it was threatening to break Dean. This couldn't be the end though.

John Winchester had so much life left to live. He had to help Sam and him to find the demon that had ripped away any shred of a natural childhood that the two boys would have had. He had to kill the bastard that had taken away Sam's chance to know his mother. That had her so early that Dean could barely recall her face, her voice. Had he and Sam not have to return to their old home and see the ghost of their mother again Dean feared that he actually might have forgotten just how gentle and loving she had been.

He had already lost one parent too early in life; he had already lost one parent to the demon. He couldn't loose another.

"Dean…" He heard the voice of his brother, and for the shortest second of his life he clung to the hope that he was finally waking up from this nightmare. Though as he brought his gaze to meet Sam's he came crashing back down. "What are we going to do?"

Dean felt a growl rise in his throat. "The only thing we can do Sammy," he stated, even if this was all just a horribly twisted nightmare Dean would refuse to give in. He couldn't break now; he had to hold himself together for Sam. More importantly for John. The Winchesters war with the demon was not yet over and the boys needed their father in order to finish that war. To break the limbo they'd been trapped in since they could remember. To feel normal again… "We're going to find the bitch that did this to him. We're going to kill that fucker and then we're going to rescue him."

"Dean." Sam looked over, almost afraid of his brother's resolve. The doctors had said he had died of natural causes.

Both the Winchester boys knew better than to believe that bullshit. They'd seen far too much to know that a seemingly healthy man did not just drop dead of natural causes.

Dean had caught the not in his brothers voice. "Don't you dare!" Dean spat at Sam, turning around. That note, the one that said that he was worried for him, the one that said that Dean should just cave in and except this nightmare to be a reality. To accept the fact that they were loosing their father was what set him off. "Sam! Don't you dare tell me I've got to move on from this one! After everything we've been through, after everything we've seen I won't just let it end here! Not for me, not for you and certainly not for dad."

Clinging to an implausible hope was better than acceptance for Dean. Clinging to the shadow of a hope that it wasn't too late to save John Winchester was all he could go on. He didn't want to bury his father; he didn't want to give in. He wanted his dad. None of this was real anyways; it was all just a nightmare, right.

"What do you suppose we do Dean? He's gone! We can't help him anymore!" Sam shouted. It was troubling that Dean hadn't cried, he wasn't completely emotionless to the reality of what was happening. No, he was acting out in anger, he had punched the doctor that had tried to apologize to the two of them, spouting some line about 'we did all we could do…' Words neither boy believed.

Dean opened his mouth to argue this point, the tears that had yet to fall were quickly rising to the surface and it was because of his own damned pride that he wouldn't allow them to fall. He had to keep his faith. He had to keep fighting. This was just a nightmare and he would wake up.

"I'm sorry Dean… but… I just don't know…" Sam apologized in softer tones as Dean had turned his back on him. Both boys were hurting… they had gone through so much, they had seen so many things and they had searched so hard for their father. In the end they had found him. In the end they had lost him.

Because the truth was that this wasn't just a dream. This wasn't just some horribly twisted nightmare that felt too realistic to be true. This was the reality: John Winchester had died that day leaving behind his two sons to fight the war.

"I know." Dean muttered, the tears were now falling, trailing down his cheeks and his eyesight was blurred. Both boys wanted the same thing at that moment. Their father. Despite all the fights Sam and him had, despite everything… their family had just lost another member. Sam hadn't been willing to roll over and give in when it was Dean fighting for his life, because he knew he needed his brother. And had they been given even the slightest chance, he'd fight for his father's life too. Just like Dean wanted to.

But they couldn't fight to bring back the dead. They couldn't rewind time and undo everything. They couldn't fix this. It was wrong and it wasn't fair, but they couldn't fix it.

"So what do we do now, Sammy?" Dean asked, his voice was considerably softer from the shouting it had been. Now that the reality of the situation had sunk in… Dean realized just how lost he was without his father's guidance. This had all started as a hunt for their father. Now what did they do? Go back to their normal lives and forget about the demons in the closet? Keep fighting? Something else…?

Sam did the only thing he could do. The only thing he could to comfort his brother. They knew too much about the demons in the closet to live normal lives and therefore there really was only one thing they could do. "We find the bitch that did this to him…" Sam repeated the words that Dean had spoken earlier. "And we kill it and all its damned friends."

Dean couldn't help but let out a half-hearted laugh as he heard Sam, turning around and taking his baby brother into his arms to hug him tightly. "Man, that's my line." He said behind the tears, holding the only family he had left.

So this demon was pretty strong, perhaps the strongest of them all. Hell it could even be Satan himself, that didn't change the conviction that it had brought upon itself when it had killed their mother, when it had killed Sam's girlfriend and now… their father.

"Let's get this bastard." Sam commented.

Dean nodded, going to lead the way even though he wanted to break down and punch the doctor that had told them his father's fate; he'd enjoy more finally putting to an end to the sick party of the demons.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Where's my car?"