Got a Strange Magic

"It isn't all that bad."

An indiscernible sound as the blond trudged through cobblestone peasant streets, feeling strangely naked without half of his signature white and black ensemble. Items once precious lay torn to bits in some halfway point between universes, perhaps. Rufus Shinra didn't know. All he knew was that he was stuck in some topsy-turvy land, sans coat, with cutesy bipedal animals that looked more like Tuesti's android prototypes than living creatures. A land where his shotgun and Tseng's sidearm seemed little match for strange, twitching bug-monsters or Heartless as that insipid fool of a magician had called them. A land where he and his most trusted had somehow found themselves once darkness seeped into the company's headquarters and sure it was great to think that his father might be dead and he would thus be president now, but this was not Midgar. This was not Shinra Electric. Here he was nobody. Here none of that seemed to matter.

But it was really best not to get caught up in those matters. Not now. That was just... depressing.

To be missing Midgar of all places was something Rufus didn't think he would ever feel. Then again, any place in Gaia was better than this. This was some strange land with wood paneled cottages and a tiny marketplace where a duck sold ice cream. Hollow Bastion. Rufus couldn't begin to imagine what kind of a name that was for a town or a world or whatever this was. Then again, from the information they gathered upon arriving in this Hollow Bastion, they weren't the only people stuck in this bizarre situation. Something was going on with the fabric of space. Time. Whatever. Some great evil. Some woman with a long name who wore black and had horns coupled with some idiots who wore cloaks. That was all well and good but Rufus still wondered if it was quite as bad as a bitchy space alien hell-bent on returning over and over again. He had his doubts that any of this was really that big a deal. Well, except for that pesky little detail whereby he was trapped in another realm.

Oh, yeah. And their king was a mouse.

Rufus wasn't brooding. Rufus was questioning his very sanity. And Tseng's as well. Because Tseng didn't seem to care all that much and that was just too much to bear.

"Do explain how this could get any worse." His glare was as frigid as a blizzaga spell as he stopped dead in his tracks, attempting to strike down Tseng with his eyes. The Turk was doing this on purpose. He could read the threat of a smirk in those dark eyes; could recognize it as what he saw whenever Tseng was being clever with him. Which, in turn only managed to make Rufus angrier. And that was most likely what Tseng was going for to begin with. They had known each other far too long.

Tseng paused thoughtfully, rocking back on his feet, hands in his pockets. "We could be in Wutaian forests. In hiding as you flail drunkenly and tip off the local military on our location and I nearly meet my grisly end. Again." There was a flash of something, perhaps annoyance in his eyes as he continued walking toward the marketplace, shoes once perfectly polished clinking on the stone ground.

Rufus snorted and rolled his eyes. "I don't remember it being like that at all. Clearly you are just making things up. Perhaps recent situations have rendered you into a state of confusion." But Tseng didn't say anything, continuing to walk through the streets, hair tousled in the wind. How he could be so cool and calm under these circumstances was beyond Rufus but he decided it best not to question it. Besides, Tseng wasn't one to wear his worries on his sleeve and considering they were both alive and decently well, it could be worse.

Great. Now he was attempting to understand what Tseng might be thinking. Or even agree with him. No. This was far worse than anything Rufus could possibly imagine. Right?

Either way, this didn't change the fact that Rufus still didn't like it. And he wasn't one to quiet his utter distaste. Falling into step with the Turk, Rufus cleared his throat and looked around a moment, realization kicking in as they edged closer to the town square. Something was off. Something was... weird.

Tseng too seemed to notice as his pace slowed momentarily and his eyebrows knit together just slightly. "It would seem there is a decided lack of people out today." And while it was normal to not see many individuals scurrying from the Borough to the Marketplace, Hollow Bastion seemed almost deserted. Then again, there had been rumors abounding that the security programs had gone berserk and Heartless were swarming and that they should wait with Merlin until it was safe. Especially considering they still weren't used to the situation. The creatures lurking around. The girl in pink and the man in leather were fixing things and it was only a matter of mere moments until the town was safe.

Not to mention that five foot tall dog, the cursing duck, and the child who carried around a giant key. They were another matter entirely. Something about a chosen one. Needless to say, Rufus had just scoffed at all of those warnings and ventured forth. They both still had ammunition. They could take care of themselves or at least fend away the...

Epiphany number two struck Rufus then. "Not a lot of Heartless either. You don't suppose the problem has been attended to?" If not for the strange feeling in the air, he would have his doubts. They were a motley crew and the fact that those three hadn't been sliced and diced years ago, from the stories he had been told... it all seemed too miraculous and unbelievable to be true.

Tseng made a face as if to question the overall validity of that statement, opened his mouth to voice said doubt and was cut off when he saw something... somewhere in the distance. A pillar of pure, white light shot up in the air followed by... Something... pink?

Well, that didn't seem right at all.

Rufus raised an eyebrow, watching his friend looking skyward all of a sudden and following his line of vision only to... what was that? It was some disgusting shade of medium hot pink. And it was glittering and it was falling. All. Around. Them. Something nauseatingly magical in the very air, wafting and floating down in the breeze collecting on their shoulders and hair and suddenly the slightly less annoyed look on Rufus' face was wiped clean as he watched sparkly pink snow collect around them and wondered how much was currently on his person.

And they just kept on falling around the two men. Merry in the afternoon as if this was just another natural occurrence. And Rufus had to wonder if it was. He wouldn't be surprised. This place was odd enough. It would be just another reason for him to hate their current situation. Bi-weekly sparkle showers.

He sighed. Looked up to Tseng who currently wore an unreadable look on his face. "Okay. Now explain how this can get any worse."

Tseng met his gaze, the smug look on the blond's face as he flicked back his hair in the ever-present signature motion that now left sparkles showering gracefully in the wind. A few were beginning to melt away, disappearing into the ether and Tseng shook his head, turning on his heel toward the Marketplace once more. He wasn't about to admit to Rufus that he was right. That would be far too much -- much more than Tseng could handle that day. He wasn't going to let this get to him. But at the same time it was so obvious, he was sure.

And Rufus watched him turn and stalk away, knowing full well what Tseng was thinking. And suddenly the sound of his boots against the cobblestones was a little lighter. A little less trudging. And everything was a little more bearable knowing that Tseng was suffering as well.

And despite all the pink and the lack of coat and subordinates and lattes, for the first time since they had arrived in Hollow Bastion, Rufus Shinra conceded and smiled a devious, thoroughly amused smile.

And life was good.