Disclaimer: I don't own Regular Show characters...They all belong to J.G. Quintel and Cartoon Network

Chapter 1

"Apartment Complex Burns Down Due to Unknown Fire Source"

Great, thought Benson as he read through the newspaper. Just what I need.

"So where are ya gonna stay then?" asked Skips.

"Probably just the guest room at the park house until I find somewhere else," Benson replied.

Just then Mordecai and Rigby burst through the front door "hmm-hmm-ing" about something. "I'll see ya later, Benson," muttered Skips and skipped out the back door. Benson rubbed his forehead, just thinking about being in the same house with those two. And hopefully somewhere else soon, he thought.

"Hey, Benson, did you come up with a decision on that Free Burrito Day yet?" asked Rigby. Mordecai sighed at his friend and said, "Dude, he was probably too busy fixing the hole you put through the ceiling after you dropped that bowling ball yesterday." Rigby attempted punching the taller of the duo. "You still punch like a grandma, dude."

"Stop talking!" shrieked Rigby, trying to punch the blue jay harder.

"Ugh, have you two even finished your chores yet?" asked the gumball machine, already anticipating the answer.

"Well, not really.."started Mordecai.

"What do you mean not really?" Benson was already starting to turn red.

"Like we started and everything but then we realized that we don't really need to rake leaves. They just decompose, y'know?"

Benson went full red and yelled at the two slackers to get back to work or they're fired. After the two ran back out, Benson went to unpack what he had been able to save from the apartment fire. As he was unpacking, he heard the door down the hall close. He was sure it was Mordecai and Rigby slacking off again, but when he opened the door, he was surprised to see neither of the slackers in the room. Must've just been the wind, he thought.

That night, as Benson was out on the porch finishing his last cigerette for the night, he saw Mordecai come out of the house, looking like he was sneaking off somewhere. Benson noticed the blue jay hadn't seen him yet and leaned forward enough so that he was an arm's length away.

"Goin' somewhere?" he asked quietly, startling Mordecai.

"Dude, not cool, you scared the shit out of me!" whisper-yelled Mordecai. "And i just wanted to get away from Rigby for a bit. He can be pretty annoying sometimes."

Benson raised his eyebrows. "Only sometimes?"

"Ok, well, most of the time. Besides, dude, I didn't know you smoked."

"Yea, well, now you know. I figure no lungs, no lung cancer."

"Really? You don't have lungs?" Mordecai looked at his boss like he didn't believe him.

Benson gestured to his body. "I'm a machine. I don't need to breathe, technically."

"Oh, right," Mordecai realized. "So you could stay underwater for, like, forever, dude"

"Again, machine. Rust."

I have never felt stupider...Mordecai thought.

"Well, see ya in the morning. Be ready to work." said Benson, getting up and going inside. Mordecai soon followed suit and headed to his room