Warning for mentions of abuse, alcohol, and drugs (though they're only mentioned.)

I don't own Vocaloid.

Orphan

it's just you and me, as it's always been

Rin is dreaming again.

Her chest rises and falls with every breath, every precious heartbeat. Other than that, she's completely still, her cheeks as pale as a ghost. Shivering in her sleep, her head leans down to rest on Len's shoulder, and he's comforted at the familiar touch of his sister. His arms snake around her, desperate for warmth, but she's freezing cold like ice. He holds her while she is in the distant world of dreams and nightmares. He wonders what kind of dream she's having right now, if she's even having one.

Their backs are resting on the cold, hard wall behind them, and Len can't sleep tonight, no matter how hard he tries. His stomach growls, aching for the food that he can't have. He hasn't eaten for what—three days now? Maybe more. He's lost count. His eyes travel around the dark alleyway they're in. It's just like the countless ones they've escaped to before, nothing different, nothing special. On occasion there was a few shady people lurking around, but this one is silent.

And peaceful, Len thinks. He exhales, his breath misty in the cold winter air.

He's grateful that they've found a roof to shelter under this time. The snow falls softly, silently around them. The world is pure white and any other person would think it's beautiful, but Len has seen enough snow for his entire life. It's the middle of wintertime and once, he had been overjoyed at the first sight of soft snowflakes. Now he wonders how he ever thought that. They're not as innocuous as they seem; he knows that they're freezing to the touch, and deadly.

He's seen other children who wish all year for snow, long to touch it and play with it. When the snow finally comes during winter, they're all exhilerated. At once, they're bringing out their hats and coats and mittens and boots, ready to have fun. Len has seen them rushing down hills on sleds, and he's seen them gathering snowballs and throwing them at each other. It looks fun, he thinks wistfully, watching them with a yearning ache in his heart. Len longs for the old times, when he and Rin would go out and play, and when they had no idea of snow's deadly powers. He's just a child at age eleven and he wants to have fun too.

But fun is a luxury he can't have anymore.

He's learned that soon enough, when he and Rin were five and their parents went out one night. They got drunk and died in a car crash afterwards. Len doesn't really remember much about them anymore, only that his father was an alcoholic and his mother smoked every minute, it seemed. They would yell at Len and Rin all the time, and the siblings always braced themselves for the occasional beating. Other kids were proud of their parents. He and Rin definitely weren't.

Their parents had to go, get drunk and crash the car and get killed, and afterward, Len and Rin escaped from the police. They were only five and had no idea what the outside world was like. Len tried his hardest to protect his sister, and they managed to escape from the shady people who tried to attack them, abuse them, taunt them, or kidnap them.

What a great world, Len thinks.

It is their parents' fault that Len and Rin are alone now. They're runaways, orphans, and they don't belong anywhere. Len may not remember much about his parents, but he knows that he hates them.

He always wishes for luxuries he can't have, like puffy coats the other children wear. The rude, selfish kids don't even know how lucky they are to have warm clothing. Parents everywhere always force children into snow jackets, and the kids always whine and complain, but they don't know as much as Rin and Len do about the world. They don't know if you get too much of it, snow is icy to the bone and freezes you until you're even cold inside.

Len longs for their boots, their mittens. He wants to live in a warm house with a fireplace, and he wants three meals a day with food and snacks at his fingertips. He wants a loving family too. But so many children take it for granted, and they have the nerve to yell and be rude to their parents. It would be okay if they had abusive parents, like Len and Rin, but they don't. They have caring parents who have to put up with everything and yet still love their kids anyway. Those children don't deserve what they have.

It's human nature to want what you can't have, and Len is no different. He knows that he can never have any of the things regular children do, but he's learned not to pity himself. Pity doesn't get you anywhere in this world. All he can do is just focus on protecting himself and his sister and keeping them alive. It's a tough enough job on its own.

Rin stirs in her sleep, mumbling something, and it snaps Len back to the present. He's chilled to the bone and his teeth can't seem to stop chattering. His fingers have always been numb, but now he can't even feel them. What he can feel, however, is is stomach growling painfully. His whole body trembles, but he tries his hardest not to wake Rin.

His attempt fails, though, and Rin's eyes blink open sleepily. "L-Len?" Her voice is hoarse. She's shivering all over, and her stomach grumbles.

It's just you and me, darling, as it's always been. We're alone here in the snow, in this empty world.

"It's okay," he whispers back to his twin sister, who's the only person he can trust in this world. She has stayed with him through the storm and the fire, and after seeing the worst parts of the world, the worst things in life, she's not the innocent young girl she used to be. He misses that part of her, although he's glad to say that she's become just as strong and tough as he is. He can always count on her. "Go back to sleep, Rin."

"O...okay." She trusts him with her life, too. She huddles closer to him to preserve warmth, although there's really no warmth to be saved. Rin's head goes back to rest on his shoulder again. Her blond hair falls in front of her face, hair the exact same shade as his. Len's arms are stiff, but he manages to move them and brush his sister's hair off her forehead.

Her body is chilly to the touch, like frost, and her skin is just as white. There are bags under her eyes and her lips are cracked from the cold. Len imagines himself to look the exact same way. They are twins after all, and they're supposed to be mirror images of each other.

Rin's hair is frosty and stringy, and Len hates those teenage girls he's seen who only care about their appearanc, their clothes and their popularity. Even in her current state, Rin is prettier than all of them. The siblings' clothes are ripped, faded and thin. Nobody, not any kid in the world, appreciates what they have until they've lost it all. Len wants to call down curses on them, watch them lose everything. Maybe then they'll show some respect, some gratitude.

He feels his head drooping, tired of thinking too much, and it rests on top of his sister's head as his eyes begin to close against his will. Even though he hasn't slept for days, he forces his eyes open again, ignoring the hungry clutching of sleep. One of them has to stay awake, for safety's sake.

When his eyes begin to droop again, a world too good to be true appears in front of him, and it makes his heart stop. The sun is shining, and there's green grass and flowers everywhere he can see. The sky is an idyllic blue, a clear blue with wispy, drifting clouds, and he hears the sound of birds chattering and water flowing. The warmth from the sun radiates onto him, and his cracked, dry lips manage to form a smile. His belly is full, too, for the first time in six years.

He shakes his head roughly, and he snaps open his eyes. He and Rin are back under a roof in an empty, lonely alleyway, snow falling around them. The white powder gathers higher and higher. The moon and stars aren't visible tonight, covered by an expanse of endless gray clouds. Len's stomach is empty again, and protesting loudly.

If life is a dream, then wake me up from this nightmare.

Either he's going crazy, or he's just delirious from no sleep. Neither way would be good.

Despite Len's mind warning him to stay awake, his eyes finally close entirely. Now he can dream alongside Rin, and he'll be free from this prison of a life. Dreams are a way of getting what you don't have, even if you'll wake up losing it all.

Dreams are Rin and Len's way of seeing a temporary paradise, a chance to get out of this nightmare of a world. Dreams are their alcohol.

They'll dream of a paradise where the sun shines all day.

Around them, the soft snowflakes continue to fall, but they keep on dreaming, oblivious to the world.