What if it wasn't "The Allen and Craig Show"…what if was the "The Craig and Allen Show"?!
Hilarity ensues.
(Allen opens the door and has a camera knocked into his face)
ALLEN: What?! Dude, get that camera out of my face!
(Craig stands there wearing an army helmet and a goofy smile and Joe who holds a professional looking camera)
CRAIG: Hey, Bestie! I have a great idea for a Youtube video…
(camera captures Allen laying down in his bed and Craig holding another camera eating an apple)
ALLEN: (shouts) No! No way. No way am I having a CAMERA follow me around and…and capture all the boring stuff…that I do!
CRAIG: (slightly bitchfaced) Shut up Allen no one cares about you or your hot bod, okay? We are gonna have this show and we are gonna get famous and I will finally get laid!
(quickly points the camera at himself)
(nervously) Not that I haven't been laid before…I have done the sex…loads of times.
(camera cuts to Allen)
ALLEN: Craig…you're a virgin.
(camera is knocked around furiously. In the background you can hear Craig cussing out Allen)
PRIVATE CONFESSION TIME:
CRAIG: So…why do I want to have a Youtube video series? (adjusts helmet) Well, there's a lot of reasons…like getting famous…and rich…and all the girls are just gonna want me when they see this sexy face, come on, right? Also like trying to get Allen some recognition is one because well he's not a very social person I guess you could say. I mean, he's a total nice guy and stuff … and well, he's just gay and let's leave it at that.
PRIVATE CONFESSION TIME:
ALLEN: Wait! You're telling me that we are gonna have more episodes? (laughs for about ten minutes and chokes a little bit). Dawg…(wipes tears from his eyes).
(camera cuts to a different scene)
ALLEN: Do I think this video will get Craig laid? That's like asking me if Justin Bieber is straight.
PRIVATE CONFESSION TIME:
CRAIG: Yes! I love Justin Bieber! I want to be him when I grow up.
(Allen and Craig are lounging around in Allen's basement)
CRAIG: So I was thinking for our first episode we could like do something amazing. Something like no one has ever done before. Like set their best friend on fire or something.
ALLEN: You're not setting me on fire.
CRAIG: Why are you such asshole, Allen? You never let me be me.
ALLEN: (mutters) Cuz you are a delusional virginal freak
(camera records Craig in front of the mirror, gelling up his hair)
CRAIG: (poses) Do you think this makes me look like Justin Bieber?
ALLEN: God. (walks away).
CRAIG: Ass (looks at the camera). So, does it?
ALLEN: Why are we out here? It's so hot-let's go inside where there is air-conditioning.
CRAIG: Shut up, Allen. (looks at the camera) So we are out here and we're gonna—acutally I'm gonna do an EPIC stunt. So my friend Kenny is driving the car and he's going to run me over but I'm gonna like do this wicked Jedi/Bruce Lee flip over the car. Cool, right?
ALLEN: (takes off his shirt.)
PRIVATE CONFESSION TIME:
CRAIG: Allen likes to take off his shirt. To the point where it makes me uncomfortable and well he thinks he has a better body than me but come on (takes off his shirt). No way.
(camera zooms up on Justin Bieber tattoo)
ALLEN: It's so hot.
CRAIG: Wha- put your shirt back on!
(camera catches a couple girls across the street. One of them lowers her sunglasses and takes a long look at Allen)
ALLEN: (waves)
(camera catches the girls giggle)
CRAIG: Are they -are they looking at me? (throws up)
PRIVATE CONFESSION TIME:
ALLEN: Yeah, Craig throws up whenever he sees's girls. And he's always trying to get laid which is like…she's not gonna like barf all over her when you're doing it, ya know?
ALLEN: Ew. That's so disgusting, Craig.
CRAIG: (moans)
KENNY: mmph mmph mmph.
ALLEN: Yeah I think we're done Kenny.
PRIVATE CONFESSION TIME:
CRAIG: I'm not gonna be famous, am I? (throws helmets across the room at Allen) You're such an asshole, Allen.
ALLEN: What did I do?
ME: The End! Review please, it right there!
ALLEN: I didn't like acting like Craig.
CRAIG: Did you think I enjoyed acting like you?
ALLEN: Shut up, assface!
ME: Boys, boys!
CRAIG: Whatever, you better review.
ALLEN: Or I'll punch you in the face.
CRAIG: Like you even could!
(lots of arguing)
ME: Hey, just review okay?