AN: Because I needed to stay true to canon and have a Bella/Edward somewhere. Even if it's terrible of me to do.
--
Too Late
--
I was too late.
Seconds—moments too late. I saw him—I saw him. He was standing in the shadows, waiting—maybe preparing himself for his most stupid act yet, I don't know. But he was just standing there and it was my one chance to save him and—and I messed it up.
I messed it up.
It's my fault—mine.
I couldn't even watch, I just couldn't. I knew what was going to happen—I tried to run there in time. It was useless, I wouldn't be able to get there in time. I tried to scream his name—I did, I swear it. I tried my best. But then I tripped and I fell and it happened.
Everything got quiet for a few seconds. Everything. Then I heard it—all the noise and the talking and the gasping and even some screaming and—God did it hurt my ears. Everything was so loud. It was like—like I could even hear my feet hitting the ground, like I could hear Edward's breathing, like I could hear birds flapping their wings as they escaped the noise.
He turned around, with this kind of smile on his face; a weird smile that I just didn't like. And his eyes were open and they fell on me—he had such beautiful eyes. He mouthed my name and was taking another step toward me—and then there were hooded figures and he was taken away in a matter of seconds and I just didn't know what to do with myself.
I sat there—just sat there and stared where Edward had been moments before. He was gone—gone. The Volturi—they would kill him and I wouldn't have him anymore and what could I possibly do? I couldn't do anything—couldn't breathe, and it was all so loud—too loud.
Because—it's my fault. Mine. I didn't get there in time—and I went cliff-diving and he thought I was dead because of it and oh God do I feel sick. It's like a cloud just went over the sun, like it's not there anymore—like there's nothing there anymore.
I knew—I just knew that if he stepped out into the light right now… nothing would happen. Because his skin couldn't possibly sparkle so beautifully with no light—and that's how it was to me. Like all light had left, like there was nothing left to see.
Because without Edward—there is no light. Without Edward, nothing makes sense anymore—because all that ever made sense was him, and his love for me, and the way that he cared for me. Without Edward… there is no Bella.
Without Edward, there's no light. There's no happiness, no eating, no sleeping, no living—there's nothing. There's just darkness. And noise. Too much noise. I have to wonder if my ears will start bleeding from all the noise—but I can only hope.
When I look up—I can't tell the difference between night and day anymore, light and dark—because it's all dark. There's nothing to see, no pretty bronze eyes or marble-like skin or—or even his perfect hands. It's useless. And all my fault.
I wish they'd leave me alone. Just leave me alone. I can get over it on my own—he taught me to be stronger, braver—smarter. I can take care of myself, I'm not a baby. Just leave me alone. There's no need for concern—why does everyone want to make it better so suddenly? They can't. Because it's my fault he's dead and there's no fixing that. Get over it.
No one else will die because of me… no one else. I promise. I promise. No one else…
--
AN: This is my take on what might have happened if Bella didn't reach Edward in time in New Moon. He would've died—and it would've been tragic, but that's just the way it works. Bella would have gone insane with the guilt of everything—whether she kills herself or lives, I don't know.
This just came to me—so I wrote it. You are free to like or dislike it, of course—but I do not accept flames. Just sayin'.
Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight series—I just enjoy writing my own stories and ideas about her characters. I don't own anything.