The vampire dude stood in the doorway, staring. There, in front of his eyes was the most marvelous, yet frightening, sight he had ever lay his eyes on.
A multi-colored miniature bear.
How the bear did not attack him, the vampire dude did not know.
"Reincarnated lover! Come here! I do not understand, what this miniature bear is doing?"
The ghost lady then came instead.
"Old lover! Why are you here? I thought you died a long, long time ago. Before they invented this wonderful contraption called a 'toilet'."
The ghost lady just smiled and walked away, motioning to the vampire dude to come. They walked to the room in which they first made love together.
"Ah. I remember this quite fondly. You were sitting over there-" SPLAT.
Guts were everywhere. The inside of the poor incarnated lover's brains sprayed across the wall as she shot herself to make the vampire dude depressed. The question that was racing in all of their minds was 'where did the miniature multi-colored bear come from?'
Suddenly, people exploded. No, they all didn't. But one body did which made it seem like they all did.
"NOOOOOOO! REINCARNATED LOVER! I could have saved you! I am a vampire! Why did you blow up? Even if you were dead I would still be able to mourn your body but now there is nothing left for me to mourn!" cried the vampire dude. Suddenly, without anyone knowing, Dr. Julia Hoffman came into the room.
"OH MY GOD. DOCTOR JULIA HOFFMAN, YOU CAN'T JUST WALK INTO A ROOM WHILE PEOPLE ARE MOUNING!" whispered the ghost lady, very ghostly and lady-like.
"What everz, you guys are such biotches! Can't a girl want to get drunk and stuff without having people ruin their drinking room with guts and people?" Dr. Julia Hoffman said, holding up the six bottles of alcoholic beverages Dr. Julia Hoffman was holding.
"ALCOHOOOOOOOOOL!" a child with a British accent screamed, running through the room. No one knew where he came from and as fast as he appeared, the kid was gone.
"Well I don't know about you living creatures, but he very well could be my adoptive son," Dr. Julia Hoffman said. Everybody else just stared. When had Dr. Julia Hoffman adopted an annoying British kid?
"I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT ME. BUT YOU DON'T. YET AGAIN-" the child with abandonment issues cried, breaking down that yet, another person, had abandoned him. With that he ran out of the room while everyone wondered, 'Where is the miniature multi-colored bear go?'
The vampire dude was confused. What had just happened? He wished he could just sleep for a few more centuries, all of these weird people would be dead by then. And maybe that bear would be too. That fucking bear that kept showing up everywhere yet did not turn into the creepy psychopathic killer all bears turn into might be dead too. What an amazing possibilitiy.
Suddenly, without warning again, a person bumped into him.
"Watch it! Don't you see me standing here deep into thought?"
"I am deeply sorry, lover. It's just that there are so many things I'd like to do to you right now," the never-aging woman said. "I had to let some of it released, if you know what I mean. It's like the sexual tension between us is thick enough to cut with a knife. We don't want the viewers dying in their seats because we're obviously in love."
The vampire dude just stared. And stared. And an inquisitive look came across his face as he stared. But instead of saying anything his mouth fell open. For there, once again, was the miniature multi-colored bear.
"Um okay whatever but do you know what the significance of this multi-colored bear is? At first I thought is was a metaphor for how there is always something to blame your misfortunes on but now I just think it's just weird." The never-aging woman walked away because whatever the vampire dude just said didn't make any sense and she just wanted to have sex with someone.
The vampire dude sulked in the room for a good fifty minutes until he heard screaming. Right away, he knew what it was.
In the center of a pentagram of dead bodies formed by his former acquaintances was Dr. Julia Hoffman and her pet miniature multi-colored bear.
(A/N: I'm really not sure what this is except I've had it for over a year.)