Fangirls ate my Cheeseburger!

A Day in the Life of one of the Most Popular Fangirl Targets, Kurama. A story of

Fangirls, Cheeseburgers and Pissing Off Hiei.

Date: April 18, 2004

Dear Journal: Today was a bad day. All started off good. I woke up at 5:00. I was

lucky, because I'd managed to sneak home to sleep for the night, not having to spend it

sleeping in the uncomfortably crowded Bishie Bunker, regardless of how safe it is. I still

have to sleep with one eye open. Damn fangirls. They've done terrible things to me...

I'm shuddering right now, just thinking about them...

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Fangirl#1: We have him cornered. Get the ropes.

Fangirl#2: Let's take him back to my house.

Fangirl#3: No! I caught him; we take him to my house!

Kurama: Spare me...

Fangirl#2: Too bad... Now... where to find Hiei... I have another yaoi to write...

Kurama: Oh dear god... not again...

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Well, back to the day. I was eating one of my mom's well cooked breakfasts, and

enjoying it too. I don't get much good food anymore. The Bishie Bunker really needs a

better cafeteria. Oh? You don't know what the Bishie Bunker is? It's the hideout for all

poor anime characters hiding from ravenous fangirls. I heard there was one for the female

anime stars, but it was meant to keep them from getting killed. I heard Tea Gardner got

killed again... 4th time this week. Well, after breakfast, I went out to find Yusuke. I

don't bother training with Hiei any more, because the both of us in one spot gets the

fangirls excited... you know what I'm talking about. Reminds me of that one time...

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*In an undisclosed location*

Kurama: You're late Hiei...

Hiei: I was busy. I had things to do.

Kurama: Sure... like looking at hentai magazines is considered important.

Hiei: Why you... I'll rip your left testicle off and feed you to the fangirls!

Fangirls: Ohhh do it do it do it do it!

Kurama + Hiei: 0.O RUN AWAY!!!!

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Well, it was about 6:30 when I was all ready to go out. I arrived at Genkai's Temple at

about 8:00. Damn buses near my mom's house. What? You think it's funny that I still

live with my mom? I'm still a teen by human standards! Jee zus! Yusuke wasn't happy

by any means, but Kuwabara, oh I mean KuwaBAKA didn't seem to care. If he wasn't

such a doofus, I would train with him more. He acts as a reverse magnet to fangirls. He's

more of a safety precaution than a sparring partner. So me and Yusuke were training for a

good while. Still was a nice day. We all decided to go out for burgers near noon. Damn

human hormones still controlling this body. Makes me need to eat a lot... Well, we were

all eating, minding our own friggin business when the fangirls came... I've seen them in

big numbers, but this was a friggin organized army! They came, tied up Kuwabara and

threw him into the parking lot, then went straight for me and Yusuke. Before we had any

time to react, they had us bound and gagged.

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Fangirl#216: Operation Bishie Theft Phase 2 is successful. We have Yusuke and Kurama.

Fangirl#42: OOoooOOoo Munchies! *Eats Kurama's cheeseburger*

Kurama: MMMPPHHHH!!!! (Translation: Hey! I paid money for that burger! And I'm

still hungry! )

Fangirl Leader: Now... what to do with them...

Fangirls: *Giggle evilly*

Yusuke + Kurama: MMMPHHH! (Translation: OOOOo shit.... )

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Well, they finally decided just to take pictures... still better than making a yaoi fic... It

was around 3:30 when the Bishie Defense Army came and liberated us. We decided it

would be safest to stay in the Bishie Bunker for awhile. So we went. Upon arrival, I got a

warm greeting from Kenshin. He's a nice guy. But the snobbish Lord Fluffy Sama hates

me... I guess he doesn't like the fact that Yoko's tail is much better than his. What a

jealous bastard. I played poker with Yugi, Vegeta and Inuyasha.

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Vegeta: Hmmm... Aww damn it. I fold. *Flips his cards*

Kurama: *looks at his cards* Hmm... I raise you 20.

Inuyasha: I raise you 30!

Yugi: And the Summoned Skull wipes out all of your life points!

Vegeta: Yugi... this is poker. Not duel monsters.

Yugi: Oh. Well... I raise 10 and... the Millennium Puzzle if you all bet all of your

stakes...

Inuyasha: I can't bluff my way through this one. I fold. *Gets pissed off and rips a hole in

the wall with Tetsaiga. Such a bad temper*

Kurama: Very well. I offer all of my stakes. Let's see what you have.

Yugi: *Snickering* Royal Flush in spades, baby! Heart of the Cards rules you ass again

baby!

Kurama: Damn. All I had was a couple of twos and a king.

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And I almost had his puzzle too... Well, at about 5:30, we went to the Bunker's cafeteria,

where Kaoru was cooking. Damn her food tastes bad... Most of us spent the next hour

queasily hoping that we wouldn't be puking it all up. Well, I spent the rest of the evening

in the Rec Room, watching Simpsons reruns. What? A demon can't enjoy the Simpsons?

People are so stereotypical these days. Well, I'm about to go to sleep in my cold, hard

cot, hoping that I'm not awakened by Yusuke's snores or the guards fighting off fangirls.

Yours Truly.

Kurama

Publishing for this was provided by The Anti Fangirl Coalition. Working to kill all of

those horny bastards known as fangirls.

Geniusss9: Tell me what you think. Review. This is my 1st somewhat serious fic.