Disclaimers: Harry Potter they are the sole property of J.K. Rowling and other affiliated companies.
Hi this is a one-shot...I read a story and it got me thinking about this pair. So good luck figuring out just who he is...^-^
According to you
I'm stupid,
I'm useless,
I can't do anything right.
Looks around store with bored expression, strolls toward outwear section.
Pulls out green robe with silver threading along sleeves and side. Hmm this would look very nice on…
Cue nagging voice…
"Harry I really don't think you would look right with this on, come on its Slytherin colors."
"You're the Boy-Who-Lived, you should be wearing more light colors. Ooh look at that scarlet and gold robe I would absolutely perfect on me on your bed."
Cue flirtatious look…
According to you,
I'm difficult,
hard to please,
forever changing my mind.
"You promised me, Harry..."
Cue teary eyes…roll eyes, nod head.
"Thank you, thank you Harry you're the best boyfriend ever."
Cue kiss on cheek…
I'm a mess in a dress,
can't show up on time,
even if it would save my life.
According to you. According to you.
"Harry what the hell are you wearing what happened to that nice velvet suit and robe set I brought for you."
'With my money'
Cue irritating voice let the nagging begin…
"Well if you think I'm exiting this house with you looking like, like a bloody homeless person then you've got another thing coming."
Turn around and march up the stairs…
"Oh and Harry while your up there why don't you bring down your grandmothers beautiful emerald necklace, that'll be a sure way to get back at the Malfoy's."
Cue mumbling and rant about the Malfoy's…
"Jesus without me you would just be..ugh."
But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
Enters loft dressed in an over-sized dull blue t-shirt and, faded ripped jeans and dirty once white snickers.
"You look wonderful as usual."
Draws into arms and nuzzles neck…
Cue intense make out session…
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
"You're beautiful, every single inch of you…"
Leans forward and kiss jagged scar along stomach
-Burp-
Buries face into hair, begins to laugh aloud…
"Don't hold it in I love everything even your burps, just lay off the onion rings."
Cue sticking tongue out, bad idea…
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
according to you.
Attempt to tame hair, brush is taken from hands...tilts head up to glare at intruder.
"Don't I love your hair the way it is, its wild and untamable just like you…"
Cue soul-quenching, heart wrenching body shaking kiss…
According to you
I'm boring,
I'm moody,
you can't take me any place.
"God Harry what is your problem, you're being so lazy."
Cue speech…
"Harry you killed the Dark Lord months ago, people died. Boo-hoo! You need to stop living in the past and start having some fun."
-Rolls eyes-
"And another thing what were you thinking going to the ministry ball dressed like that, that's the last time I let you dress up by yourself."
Cue internal dismembering…
According to you
I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away.
"……err, well we gotta go Gin, Harry we'll see you later."
-Or not-
Cue quick escape…
"Harry Oh my god cant you even tell the joke right, god I spent three hours teaching you that one. Keep this up Harry and you'll throw away your chances of ever becoming an Auror."
I'm the boy with the worst attention span;
you're the girl who puts up with that.
According to you. According to you.
"Harry are you even paying attention, god what is it with you lately you've been so distracted lately."
Cue rolling of eyes…
"I wonder why I even bother staying with you, god…"
But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
"I missed you so much; damn training season has been so hectic…"
-Smile-
"Let me take a bath and then you and I can have dinner."
Pulls in for intense kiss, clothing trail on ground behind…slamming of door.
Cue welcome back sex…
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
-Jumps on bed-
"Argh…Harry why can't you wake me up like a normal person."
-Arch eyebrows, example-
"Like an early morning romp or a blowjo…ughh!!"
Cue pillow fight, followed by early morning romp.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
according to you.
"Stop that it's a gift, you have an amazing gift Harry James. I want you to use it."
-Clutches at bundle-
Cue tears
I need to feel appreciated,
like I'm not hated. oh-- no--.
Why can't you see me through his eyes?
It's too bad you're making me decide.
"Harry where the hell are you going, this is a very important din…"
Cue screeching…
-Cringes-
"HARRY JAMES POTTER GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANCE!!!"
"You will not embarrass me."
-Drags back into over populated room-
According to me
you're stupid,
you're useless,
you can't do anything right.
But according to him
"AHHH!!!"
Cue smoke alarm…
"Harry tell that lazy elf to get his arse down here and clean up this mess and make us something to eat."
-How can a person whose mother is known to make enough food to feed a qudditch team be so inept in the kitchen-
"Worthless…"
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
"Wow the Boy-Who-Lived is into tats. My, my wonder what else you're hiding underneath these bagging clothing…"
Cue…Oh my sweet, sweet Lord up above…
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
-Slides into room wearing only a shirt, glasses, and socks…starts to dance-
Covers face to keep from laughing, "Oh my god, Harry you look ridiculous."
Bursts into laughter as Harry begins to do funky chicken and moonwalk…slides back out of room.
T-shirt flies onto ground, bare sock clad legs sock hangs ominously.
-Drools-
Cue chase…
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
According to you.
According to you.
Clap!! Clap!!
"Wow, Harry that was bloody brilliant. Damn I'm serious when I say you got one hell of a talent and you need to share it babe."
-Shakes head side to side-
Laughs!!
"I know you're scared but babe, you need to share this with the world. Besides, you're the Boy-Who-Bloody-Lived-To-Many-Blasted-Times. You can runaway and join a circus, shave off your hair and get a sex change and they would still love you."
-Smiles-
"Look at the tournament they always let some amateurs entertain the crow during half-time. I assure you that you can't be as bad as Parkinson and the Parvati twins version of "Im every Woman."
-Shudders-
"Yeah, compared to them you're like the second coming of Christ."
Tilts head up and kisses, "You can do anything babe."
Cue blushing…
According to you
I'm stupid,
I'm useless,
I can't do anything right.
"Harry James Potter can't you even ask me to marry you properly."
-Snatches ring and puts it onto finger-
"See is that so hard; the moment we get married we are changing everything…"
Cue nausea…
"Harry are you okay you look kinda. No, no not my new…AHHH!!!"
Cue…Oh shit
There's a second part…..