Castle Fan Fiction Written Summer 2014

APOLOGIES to the intrepid readers who tried - and some of them succeeded! - to read this story with all the paragraph returns stripped away. I don't know exactly how it happened - even know I need to redo a few fixes I KNOW I already did! I hope you'll forgive me. Somehow I must have egregiously invoked Muphry's Law.

Note: I wrote this speculatively in September, before Season 6 began. I have "tightened up" the descriptions but not changed the plot or essential dialog. I'm happy I got so close to Beckett's actual response. All characters belong to ABC & Andrew Marlowe.

Feeding the Birds

Since Castle and Beckett had both looked miserable for a couple of days, Ryan and Esposito figured that backup might become necessary for one or both of them. They had spotted Beckett hurrying off toward the park on her break, with a little black cloud over her head, and by sheer coincidence, also noticed that she was meeting with Castle. He showed up shadowed by his own matching nimbus threat of precipitation. For some reason, they were meeting in plain view, at the swing set. God only knew why.

So Rysposito fortified themselves, as any self-respecting cop would do, at Flakey-Creme Donuts, on the southwest corner of the park. Flakey-Creme had amazing donuts, but Creamy-Flake, which was on the southeast corner, had better coffee. It's rude to walk into one establishment bearing the competition's telltale cup. So they went to Creamy-Flake first for the beverages, and moved on to Flakey-Cream, where Ryan stood outside, holding Esposito's coffee and his own green tea chai soy latte with honey. A flock of Canada geese passed overhead, and a green blob of goose poo splattered onto the lid of Ryan's chai. Disgusted, he tossed the lid in the trash.

The geese had flapped down out of the sky like hell on wings, and were strutting about the park, hissing and honking at one another until they settled down to nibble on grass and dropped goldfish crackers. Ryan didn't like geese much. He just really didn't like birds in general. Too... birdlike. He could only see Beckett's back, and Castle's face, and the writer was looking very grim indeed. Beckett's posture seemed to droop. At this point, Ryan knocked on the window of the donut shop, trying to catch Esposito's attention.

Esposito was inside Flakey-Creme, drooling over the waitress as she educated him about the relative merits of their full line of gourmet custom donuts. She rocked a Bette Page vibe, with seam-backed stockings disappearing up under a low-cut retro dress printed with little cherries. She had more tattoos than a Fiji sailor, and a name-badge that said "MaryBeth".

Javier gave her his most ingratiating smile. "So, MaryBeth, what are you into?"

"I'm a cream-filled kind of girl, myself," she beamed, and Espo went weak at the knees.

He handed her his card, and was just about to ask her out when Ryan tapped on the glass. Espo glanced back.

Ryan was gesturing wildly. "Get the hell out here! You gotta see this."

Espo sighed and pulled out his card. "Oh, damn, I gotta go. He went to the door, duty-bound but reluctant. "Can you just box up a dozen? I'll be back in five. Maybe ten." The door closed behind him with a cowbell's clang. "What the hell, bro? I was on a roll."

"They're sitting on the swings."

"Well, at least she's not kicking sand in his face."

"This does not look... wait. Oh, my God."

Esposito peered over the laurels and whistled softly. "Holy shit, he's down." Castle was on one knee in the damp tanbark, looking like the weight of the world was about to crash down on his head. And then he pulled something out of his pocket, and light glinted in his hand. He spoke briefly, but they couldn't hear him.

"No helicopter," Ryan said sadly, with a half-hearted glance at the blue sky.

"Yeah, I was lookin' forward to at least a dancing elephant. Maybe a mime. Something."

Ryan nodded. "He's slipping."

Esposito's voice was barely audible. "Don't blow this, girl."

Beckett had her back to them, and for a long moment she was stock-still, shoulders tense, poor Castle looking like a bug on a pin. The flock of geese was trundling through the grass, closing in on an unsuspecting nanny with sleeping twins in a double-stroller. The nanny was eating a bag of kettle popcorn in the shade of a nearby tree, and reading a magazine, oblivious to the looming feathered menace.

The boys exchanged looks. Ryan, ever the romantic, was wide-eyed with disbelief. "Geez, Beckett can't possibly say no, can she?"

Javier was surprisingly humble. "I dunno, man. You're the one who has women all figured out."

Ryan knew exactly how Castle felt, he'd been there. Beckett? As always, a cipher.

Beckett jumped up suddenly. She exclaimed, but in the wrong direction, and the boys jockeyed to catch her words: "Oh my God. You're proposing?"

The nanny looked over at Beckett's outburst, startled, and realized she was about to be devoured by geese. She jumped up, screaming, scattering kettle corn everywhere, and wrestling the stroller away down the path, the awakened twins wailing to the sky. Beckett's swing jostled away then swung back and bumped Castle's hand. And then Beckett was down on the ground, crawling around with Castle. It was bitterly clear that Someone Had Dropped The Ring. Whether she'd said yes or no, the boys couldn't tell, but things became much worse. An errant goose had waddled up alongside Beckett, nabbing popcorn kernels, and it swallowed something in the grass and started choking. Castle and Beckett scrambled to their feet, chasing the goose, which was surprisingly speedy on its short legs. It dodged and weaved as Castle and Beckett hurled themselves at it. Its attempts to honk were a pathetic wheeze. The other geese attacked the frantic couple, honking, hissing and flapping. The inadvertently thieving goose spread huge wings and flew away across the park, right over their heads, squawk-wheezing pitifully.

Beckett was beside herself, yelling the first thing that came to her mind. "Stop, police!"

Ryan and Esposito exchanged horrified looks as Beckett whipped out her service revolver and trained it on the fleeing bird. Ryan and Espo took off running for the playground.

"Beckett!" Esposito dropped his coffee on the ground and hurried across the street, nearly run down by a passing taxi.

Ryan stood a moment, clutching his chai. "You littered!"

"Later, dude. Come on."

Ryan reluctantly took a last swig and tossed his cup in the trash. "Never fails." In the playground, someone noticed the crazy lady with the gun, and a gaggle of nannies, toddlers, and geese scattered, screaming and honking. The flock took off in pursuit of their own.

Castle reached for Beckett's gun. "Give me that."

"No, this is my fault, and it's my gun." Beckett and Castle heard distant shouts and Esposito emerged from some bushes, Ryan on his heels.

Rick called out to them, "Were you watching us?"

Kate frowned, trying to keep her eye on the right bird. "There must be thirty of them."

"Twenty-six." Rick said, "Do you even have a hunting license?"

"No, of course not."

"Well, I do. I got it for Bigfoot. You want to get arrested?"

"Not today," she conceded. She handed it over. He braced his hand and took aim.

She thought better of it and stopped him. "Castle. You can't shoot a goose. You might hit a civilian."

Rick grimaced. "It's gone anyway." The flock had passed over the trees, heading northwest of them, past Ryan and Esposito.

Ryan didn't even break stride, just peeled off at full speed in pursuit of the geese. Espo approached the couple, presenting his badge, turning to show it to shocked bystanders. "It's all right folks. Animal control here. Nothing to see."

Ryan scooped up Esposito's abandoned coffee, lobbed it into a trash bin, and pounded down the sidewalk, his eyes on the bird. He smacked into an old lady, bounced off a couple of gawping tourists ("Look, Jennifer, they got geese in New York City!") He rounded a corner in pursuit of the geese, despairing as they gained altitude, heading for the Hudson a quarter mile away. Then he noticed one of the birds struggling to keep up, steadily falling behind. He kept running, glad he'd been putting in time at the gym. A few wing-beats later, the goose's efforts faltered in the air, and it crashed into a pot of pink geraniums out front of Steve's Original Pizza Inferno.

Ryan pulled out his radio. "We got a goose down."

"That's not exactly comforting," said Esposito. Striding up to Beckett and Castle, he pulled out his cuffs, speaking loudly enough so the crowd could hear him. "All right, you two, hands up."

"What?"

"You have the right to remain silent, so shut your pie-holes." he whispered. He cuffed them together and announced to the gathering crowd, "Nothing to see here, folks. No harm done. Just a little propositioning in the park."

Castle and Beckett were staring at him, openmouthed, then spoke in one voice. "You saw that?"

He flashed a grin at them. "Oh, yeah."

Kate's brows knit, and she said quietly. "You don't have to cuff us, Esposito."

"'Scuse me? Public firearms? Disturbing the peace? Molesting wildlife?"

Castle scowled at Esposito. He looked genuinely upset. "False imprisonment, anybody?"

"Sorry, man. Gotta maintain an illusion of order in this crazy world."

Kate rolled her eyes. "He's right, Castle. These innocent bystanders are likely to pull PETALC down on us any minute."

"Who-what?"

"People for the Equal Treatment of All Living Creatures."

"How about 'All Loony Cultists'?" Castle mumbled.

Indeed, one of the punkier-looking nannies was yelling "Goose-murderers!" and shooting video of them on her smartphone, while a little girl in a pink tutu cried and hid behind her tattered fishnet leggings.

Castle drawled, "At times like these, I love New York."

Esposito phoned Ryan. "Anything?"

"No sign of the ring," Ryan responded. "But this goose is cooked. I'm bringing it back now."

"All right, folks, give it up, nothing to see." Esposito herded his embarrassed friends out of the park, across the street, and back to the car.

Ryan arrived a few moments later, sweaty and disheveled, his jacket wrapped ineffectually around a large, feathery bundle. "You could feed the entire Cratchett family on this thing."

Beckett looked at the goose sadly as Ryan laid it in the trunk, its neck limp and dangling. "You think it might still be alive?"

"I'm not about to perform CPR on a goose," Ryan grinned, hoping to cheer them up. "That seems more up Castle's alley."

Castle said grimly, "I'm a writer, not a veterinarian."

Beckett's eyebrow rose, gently teasing. "You mean there's something you actually can't do?"

He gave her a tight little smile. "Apparently."

Beckett, chastened, looked away. He wasn't at all in the mood for teasing.

Espo knew about the sapphire earring fiasco. "Man, you have bad bling karma."

Ryan grimaced. "At least Gates didn't wind up with it."

Esposito lifted the dead goose by its feet, held it out head down, and shook it.

Beckett cried, "Stop that. What in hell are you doing?"

"I'm flippin' the bird, man. Maybe the ring'll pop out."

"Only fall through the grate and get eaten by subway alligators," Castle added.

Esposito set the bird back into the trunk. "Good point."

Ryan let them into the car, and they tussled around a bit, getting into the back seat, cuffed again. But this time it was actually worse than being chained together in a dark basement under threat of death and tigers; they were both so keyed up they could barely look at each other.

The cowbell jangled on Flaky Cream's door, and MaryBeth sashayed out of the donut shop with a pink box. "Full Baker's Dozen Assorted," she sang out. She stopped Esposito before he climbed into the passenger seat. "Well, that was a hell of a show," she grinned. "I threw in some extra holes for you."

Espo blushed and handed her a $20. "Will this cover it?"

"More than cover. I'll just get your change."

"No need. Maybe use it for cab fare?" He winked. "I'll call you."

She un-tucked his card from her cleavage, waved it at him, and tucked it back in.

"Yeah, you, uh, do that." Ryan muttered, "Yeah, that's classy." He started the engine and put the car in gear. As the car merged into traffic, Espo called their location in on the handset, then pulled out his phone.

His eyes still on the road, Ryan found a bottle of hand sanitizer in the utility box, and doused his hands, wiping the steering wheel down with a tissue. He gave the bottle to Espo. "Don't even think about touching those donuts. You're all... goosey."

Esposito cleaned up then handed the bottle back to Kate and Rick. "No knowing what you two were crawlin' around in. Lanie's not picking up her cell, I'll try the office line. "Yo. Lanie?..." There was a longish pause as Lanie said something unintelligible in his ear.

Embarrassed, he protested, "Well, I'm callin' now, baby. Hey, you got time to do a quick autopsy?"

Lanie spoke again. Esposito was silent, and Ryan was absorbed in navigating the most heinous traffic jam since Hurricane Katrina. Lulled by the familiarity of the situation, Castle and Beckett, who'd been feeling quite awkward, finally exchanged a rueful smile. Beckett rattled their cuffs and nudged her shoulder against his. "Feels like old times," she murmured.

"You mean last Saturday morning?" That had been a very good morning, playing Cops and Robbers till 4 a.m. "I still have your Get out of Jail Free card." Her smile widened a little, and her hazel eyes slightly melted the icy lump of dread in his heart. He hoped he wasn't misreading her mood. "Just kiss me," he thought. "Please."

She didn't, but she did squeeze his hand, then let it go. He said quietly, "My heart soars. Like a goose." He still wasn't sure what her answer was going to be. She looked utterly drained. But at least she was trying to be friendly. Whether it was "I love you and I want to be with you forever," -friendly, or "We've had a good run, let's let it go and try to be kind," -friendly, he couldn't tell. At least she didn't seem angry with him. So perhaps he hadn't overstepped his bounds after all. He decided not to press her for the moment.

Esposito and Lanie were still snarking over the phone. "Well, you're gonna have to wait, cause I'm not dead yet. Yes, now. No, you don't need the van, we'll bring it to you. It's not a person, it's a goose. Yes, like the bird. No, baby, I'm not kidding. Sorry, I forgot. Yeah, Beckett's with us. Yeah, him too. Your guess is as good as mine. Hey, I got some donuts... No, you're not on speakerphone, baby."

Beckett reached forward with her free hand. "Hey, Espo, can we get the key now?"

With his phone still to his ear, Esposito produced the key and handed it back to Kate. She unlocked the cuffs, then returned the set.

Esposito was still talking to Lanie, his trepidation rising. "Well, I don't know. I don't even think they know. No, I will not. No. Don't call her. It's not a good time, that's why."

Ryan reached into the pink box and grabbed a donut hole, which he popped into his mouth. "Oh, my God," he moaned. The smell of donut was overwhelming. "This is so incredible."

Castle intoned with the lofty air of a wine connoisseur. "The bouquet is robustly evocative of a Canadian smokehouse, redolent with nutmeg and vanilla, with a 65 percent virgin cacao base-note and just a hint of raspberry jelly goodness, wafting the promise of forbidden pleasure and impending diabetic coma."

Ryan called out, "Hey, Lanie, I'm gonna make him save one for you."

Esposito snapped, "She says hi, and we have twenty minutes 'cause she has a lunch date, and she doesn't want donuts to spoil her appetite." He listened again. "Yeah. See ya." He hung up, put his phone away, and dove into the pink box of carbohydrate consolation.

Beckett said, "Look, either roll down the windows or send a donut back, that smell is killing me." Espo held the box out to them, and Beckett took a cinnamon-chocolate old-fashioned, amazed that she could feel so hungry and so stressed at the same time. Castle waved it off absently. Esposito's heart sank: normally the man was a chow-hound. So she hadn't said yes.

Ryan went for the maple bacon, and Espo slapped his hand. "Don't you dare. I'm saving that for Lanie."

Ryan chose a buttermilk, munching away on bits of it as he drove. "Jenny's been having these intense food cravings," he explained. A couple of crumbs flew out of his mouth and he had to wipe the steering wheel with a napkin. "I think they're starting to rub off on me."

"Watch out for that," Castle said. "I gained twenty pounds with Meredith's pregnancy."

Kate said, "You have pictures?"

He pulled out his wallet. "Not exactly. But I do have a surprise for you."

"Not sure I can handle any more surprises today," she said.

Her faint smile gave him the feeling she might not mind just one more. "Close your eyes. Just sit back and enjoy the merry melodies of SquawkBox Radio."

Beckett finished her last bite of donut and wiped her still-slightly-grimy hands on her napkin. "I think I will." She leaned her head back against the rest, closed her eyes, and sighed, trying to evoke the meditative calm she and her shrink had worked so hard to nurture. She hadn't slept much the night before ("Castle asked me to marry him."), hadn't eaten breakfast ("Castle asked me to marry him."), and the jolt of adrenaline from the morning's excitement had faded while the memory was still fresh ("Castle asked me to marry him."). She felt drained ("Castle asked me to marry him."), yet strangely light ("Castle asked me to marry him."), comfortable in a seat big enough for three ("Castle asked me to marry him."), long legs stretched out, hands folded, her mind drifting ("Castle asked me to marry him."). She barely listened to the radio, the dispatcher shuffling cases back and forth from the precinct, dealing out fate and consequences and the beginnings of justice. ("Castle asked me to marry him.") New York was in Kate's blood like a crazy cousin, a whole city talking to itself, ("Castle asked me to marry him.") measuring out the good with the bad in a long, running, scratchy conversation over the wires ("Castle asked me to marry him."), mixed with the honk of taxis (or was it geese?), beat-boxers, Hari Krishnoids, street musicians, and the distant whine and rumble of subways ("Castle asked me to marry him."). And Castle ("...who asked me to marry him"), next to her, fiddling around with a piece of paper, maybe writing a note? She noticed the urge to peek ("Castle asked me to marry him."), and with Dr. Burrke's deep imaginary voice guiding her meditation, she let that urge ("Castle asked me to marry him.") go and paid attention to her breath. In through the nose, 4 seconds. Hold for a count of 9. Breathe out for 8.

Esposito glanced at her in the mirror as the early-summer light slid across the planes of her face. He didn't dare ask what she'd told Castle. He stared out the window, thinking about Lanie, thinking about the girl at the donut shop ("What was her name again, MaryLou?"). He knew Lanie liked donuts, but he hope she wouldn't like these enough to go visit MaryLou no, it was MaryBeth - and ask for more. Women talk. At least, most women talk. "Hell, maybe they don't." He was in over his head. Was Castle?

Rick fidgeted with whatever he'd pulled out of his wallet. Kate heard paper rustling softly as she sank from meditation into outright sleep. Careful not to jostle her, Castle then dug around in his pocket, fiddled some more, and cupped a small object in his hand.

Ryan drove into the ME office's parking garage and backed into a space between an ME van and a truck, ready, as usual, for a call. Ryan and Esposito stepped out. In her sleep, Beckett had leaned over, her head on Castle's shoulder, the habit ingrained after their hard-won year together. Esposito flashed back on finding the two of them, huddled together in cold storage, passed out and blue with cold. But this time, Castle was fully alert, and looked like he'd rather be back in the freezer. Here, in the muted, muddy light of the garage, she seemed almost childlike, vulnerable, peaceful. Kevin and Javier exchanged a surprised glance. They were accustomed to Beckett's usual coiled-spring tension, still an undercurrent despite having softened somewhat since she put the fear of avenging Valkyries into Senator Bracken. She'd never fallen asleep on the job before, despite hundreds of late nights. The closest was a morning when she crashed on the break-room couch for 20 minutes after a 37-hour armed-and-dangerous manhunt.

Ryan thought of his own Jenny at home, how she'd looked in their bed that morning, when he'd tiptoed off to work as she caught precious sleep, making their baby all on her own, like some kind of goddess. He knew without a doubt that he would kill for Jenny. Furthermore he would do anything to be with Jenny, strive to be a better human being for Jenny. And he trusted utterly that Castle felt the same about Beckett. People joked, but neither of them was 'whipped'. Surrender to love is a paradoxical victory, an exercise of the will despite the odds. Ryan hoped Castle and Beckett would both come out winners.

Castle signaled his partners for stealth. Esposito hefted the box of donuts, Ryan pulled the goose out of the trunk quietly, and they went inside.

As they walked away from the car, Ryan said, "Many are called."

"Few are chosen, bro." Esposito looked down into the pink box. "You ate the pink sprinkles? Man, you owe me."

Castle leaned over and kissed Kate's forehead. Maybe for the last time, before it all fell apart forever. "We're here."

She faded up from a dream. "Don't get up, you'll wake the dragon." Leaning deeper into his shoulder, she nuzzled against his neck, and he treasured that moment, wondering if she'd break and run when she awoke. Literally, metaphorically, whatever. The outcome would be the same.

He stroked her hair, setting aside his own longing. "Beckett. Wake up. We're at Lanie's office."

Kate jerked back, wide awake and anxious, peering around in the dark. "Was I asleep? I had the weirdest..." She looked at her hands, still a bit dirty from crawling around, and then at both of their grass-stained knees. Despair stole over her face. "Oh, my god. The goose?" That little vertical line between her eyebrows deepened. "I'm just not very good at this stuff."

His blue eyes silently begged, "God, Kate. Can you stop yanking me around?" He was so damn tired of being patient. But he'd promised to honor whatever she decided to do. He was going to see this through. He kept his voice neutral. "You said there was something you wanted to tell me?"

"Just... I know there's something I don't want to do. Something I can't do."

He tilted his head, unable to ask her to go on, afraid to blow on the spark still kindling in his heart. "I know this is asking a lot." She shifted, facing him straight on. "I want you to come to Washington with me. Come live with me. Give it a year in DC. I don't want … No, that's not right. I do want. I want to love you. I want to be with you. I want to marry you and make little Castle babies." Her breath caught, and they shared an embarrassed chuckle, remembering her old friend's outburst in the interrogation room. "But," her gaze lowered. "Maybe you're all done with that, done with rearranging your life, chasing in circles just to bring me a cup of coffee. I can't ask you for that."

"Keeps me young."

"Neither of us is getting any younger." He gave a small nod, though he really should have said something gallant.

"I've thought about it, and," she took a deep breath. Her face was sad, but resolute. "You know, if Alexis is enough for you, she's enough for me."

"Enough... family? Maybe I'm not done with any of it." He leaned his head in, and their foreheads pressed lightly together a moment, then he backed away again, the better to see her face in the dimness. "There's room in my life for good people, even if they're short and look like Winston Churchill. So is this a maybe?"

"No," she said. His face fell.

"I mean, it's a yes." She beamed at him, like she was bathing his heart in honeyed light.

He somehow found both of her hands in his. His voice cracked a little. "A yes yes?"

"Yes." She said it clearly, just to be sure. She slid her hip off the seat, one knee on the floor of the cruiser. Her voice sank to a ragged whisper. "Will you marry me?"

Nodding, speechless for a moment, he pulled her up onto his lap, into a kiss that heated both of them from head to toe. He caressed her left hand as they embraced, and she felt something slip lightly onto her ring finger. She looked at it, quizzical. It was an origami ring, made from the dollar bill he'd been folding as she napped. Into a central setting, a little bezel made of paper, he'd tucked a new dime.

"Oh, Rick," she murmured. "It's a dime-in ring! My grandfather used to make these for me!"

His voice shook. "You like it?"

A little sob of joy escaped her. "It's perfect." She kissed him again, endlessly amazed and touched by his inventive mind and arcane skills. "There really is nothing you can't do."

He smiled, almost shyly, then buried his face in her hair and whispered, "Nothing I wouldn't do for you. Shall I resurrect the goose?"

She knew he was hiding in a joke, but she let it pass. They held one another, and Kate felt him shaking, trying not to cry. "It's all right, Rick. We're all right." She held him tighter still, rubbing his back and shoulders gently until he relaxed, their breathing falling into rhythm with one another. "I love you so much."

They kissed again, a lifetime of tenderness thrown into a moment. She looked around the car, tucked safely in the shadows between the two larger ME vehicles, and a concrete wall behind. Everything was quiet, and they were alone, more together than they had ever been. She lay back, pulling him down with her, and he kissed her tear-salted eyelids, her forehead, her cheeks, paused longer at her lips. She grinned and rocked her hips against him, and his playfulness dissolved, the mood shifting from tenderness to something primal and fierce. They kissed again, and she loosened his tie and dropped it on the floor, opened his shirt, her mouth exploring the sensitive line down his throat. His hand skimmed over her cotton blouse then slipped under to find her breast swelling into the silky fabric of her bra. Her hand glided lower still, undoing his belt, then his pants. She wrapped a leg around his hips and squeezed, and they both moaned.

She said "Something about eating donuts, they just make me hungrier in the long run."

"Second breakfast," he mumbled. "it's... what's for breakfast."

She started kissing her way down his chest.

"Oh, God." his eyes closed. She raked her just-long-enough nails lightly down his belly, following them with slow, soft kisses.

Ryan tapped at the window, taking care not to look too closely, although they had no idea how long he'd been there.

Castle jumped, banging his head on the roof liner. Kate sat back with a huff of frustration.

"Hey. Uh, sorry to interrupt, you guys. Lanie wants to see you."

Castle groaned, Becket seethed. "Could you knock?"

"I did knock." Ryan gestured helplessly, his back still turned.

"You could've called first."

"You didn't answer your phones." Beckett pulled out her phone and stared at it accusingly. She'd had it muted. "Sorry." She was buying time for Castle to collect himself. "We'll follow you in, Ryan." She waved him off.

"Uh, yeah. Sure. See you in there. In... there." He pointed back to the ME's vestibule, then headed toward it, his face flaming, muttering about his upholstery.

She helped Castle with his shirt buttons, but they decided to forgo the jacket and tie, which had been stepped on. Soon they were out of the car, hurrying to the ME entrance, holding hands tightly. Beckett stopped Castle at the door. "Zipper." she whispered.

"Oh. Crap. Thanks."

In the ME vestibule, Lanie and Esposito were talking quietly. He was feeding her a bite of chocolate, cream-filled donut. She rolled her eyes. "Mmm. That is good. Baby, it was so sweet of you to think of... oh hey there, you two. Finally woke up, huh?" She was uncharacteristically soft-spoken, trying to gauge their mood.

Kate held out her hand with the silly paper ring on it. "You like it?"

"Sly dawg," said Esposito. He and Castle touched finger-beaks, feeding the birds, then he pulled Kate into a brotherly shoulder-hug. "'Bout time." He shoved Kate lightly back toward Castle, and she leaned against her fiance, her face the picture of peace. Castle looked like he'd just won the lottery and had all the taxes paid in advance.

"Let me see that." Lanie pulled out a magnifier and peered at the paper ring. "Seems genuine enough." She grinned at both of them. "You're a lucky man, Castle, and I'd give you all a group hug but I'm too busy making Thanksgiving dinner." She held up her blue nitrile gloves and waggled her fingers. "Can't wait till you try the stuffing." She gestured and they followed her.

In the exam room, Ryan was leaning against the wall, on the phone with Jenny. He glanced at Castle and Beckett's expression, and said, "Thunder-cats are go, Jenny. Love you. Yeah. You know I will." He clicked off and came to them, arms extended to hug Kate and then a handshake for Rick, smiling from ear to ear. "Jenny sends her congratulations and advises you to elope before anyone else finds out."

Lanie handed out clear plastic face shields and gloves. "This is gonna get messy." The goose was laid out on its back on one of the exam tables. Lanie had shaved its breast and sawn open the keel bone and ribs. "It's not in the throat, so I'm guessing that the goose probably choked on it, then when the bird hit the ground, the ring either got knocked out of its mouth..."

"In which case we'll have to take a gander around the area..." Castle interrupted. Beckett nudged him with her foot.

Lanie glared. "... or it was jammed down in involuntary reflex. The bird didn't actually choke to death; it passed out midair and died on impact when it hit the ground."

Esposito started to say something about choking chickens but Castle broke in. "So you think Beckett's ring's in its stomach?"

"Either that or it just held up a jewelry store." She indicated the x-ray, the white silhouette of the ring plainly visible, along with some other peculiar items, possibly more jewelry. "You take those donuts to safety, Ryan. It's gonna get nasty in here." Ryan gratefully hurried off to the ME office break room. Lanie cut further down into the bird's belly, lifting the skin, fat, and layers of muscle away with infinite care, cleaning as she went along. It was a much bloodier business than one would have expected; the goose had not bled out yet, and it was a fresh kill.

Lanie sighed. "Looks like I'm gonna have to put off that lunch date."

Esposito hid a smile. "Well, that's a shame."

"Mmmhm. I had to look this up. The gizzard grinds stuff... gland stomach does the main digesting... "

Beckett came in close, thankful for her clear plastic face-shield. "You see it yet?"

"No, but... ok, strictly speaking, this is the duodenum – the upper intestine. There's a couple of interesting things in here." She prodded around with some tweezers, pulled out a flat black disk, and placing it in a petri dish, washed the slime off it. "A coin." She peered at it. "Looks like an old one. Maybe silver."

Castle looked at the coin, took out his tear-stained handkerchief, and started rubbing at it, hoping to remove some of the black oxidization. Back into the mess Lanie went. "...and here's where most things get stuck. The crop... stand back, it might be under a little... bit... of... pressure..."

There was a soft, wet, disgusting pop, and then a stench that Castle had to take a stab at describing. "Eau du Rotting Goose Barf."

"Nailed it, bro." Esposito, who usually had a cast-iron stomach, looked a little green.

Lanie felt the soft click as the tweezers touched metal again, or maybe diamond. She prodded around. "Anybody who tells you diamonds are a girl's best friend has never needed a pair of tweezers." She pulled, and a knobby, gooey red cylinder came out, lodged into the ring's platinum band.

Castle lit up gleefully. "See? I knew she'd find it." He was looking up coins on his smartphone. Excited, he speed-dialed Ryan. "Hey, get back here, you're gonna love this."

Kate smiled warmly at Lanie. "Thank you so much. You are … amazing."

"Just don't make me wear one of those strapless bridesmaid dresses with the big 80s bow on the butt, and we'll be fine."

"It's a deal," Kate laughed.

But Lanie was frowning down at the ring. "You're gonna want this cleaned," she said. She tweezed the cylinder out of the ring and put them in separate petri dishes, rinsing them off in turn.

Castle muscled in and popped the ring into an evidence baggie, then his pocket. "I've got this."

"Professionally cleaned." Lanie gave Castle the Eye, and he nodded meekly, just to humor her. Kate linked her arm through his and looked over at Lanie.

Lanie put the cylinder under the microscope and peered at it. "Mmm-hm." she murmured. "I'll show you why. A day late and a foot short."

"What is it, Chica?" Esposito had forgotten himself again.

"It's a toe. A human toe." Everyone crowded around, their faces wrinkled in disgust. Castle grabbed a second evidence bag and tucked Kate's bagged ring inside, zipping it closed, then cleaned his hands again. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. You think I don't know what a human second phalange looks like?" She started taking tissue samples off it, humming to herself. "Ok, I'd say probably male, likely a size 11 to 13 feet – big guy, touch of … gout. Skin's been digested away, but Flexor digitorum longus still intact, so DNA's a possibility. Mild fungal infection under the nail. Thickening in the nail plate indicates he's at least 40 years old. You take playin' footsie a little too far, kids?"

Castle shook his head. "I always wear protection. Shoes. On my feet."

"Whatever. Well, this wasn't bitten off. It was cut. Likely with pruning shears... see the curved blade-mark?"

"Ooh," said Castle. "Mobster Geese Committing Mayhem."

Esposito said, "There's another reason to hate gardening."

Beckett said, "Does the bird have a band?"

Castle said, "I'd say at most, a brass quartet."

Beckett said, "It's a long shot, but there may be records of this bird's history... places it's migrated to and from."

"Yup." Lanie examined its band and wrote down some more numbers, handing it off to Esposito. "You find out where that bird's been, I'll buy you lunch."

Ryan returned to the exam room, exuding a faint whiff of donut. Castle made a gesture, and Ryan wiped a trace of raspberry jelly and powdered sugar off his chin.

Beckett said, "Anything else you can tell us?"

"I'll analyze the contents of its digestive tract. Might be able to tease out some more body parts. Or at least some location possibilities." Castle looked at Beckett. They stepped away from the stench at the exam table, and took off their face shields.

"So, you have a Missing Toes department?"

"No, but NYPD has this Missing Persons thing. Maybe you've heard of it." Ryan added, "We also have a homicide department. Sort of like a lost and found for dead people."

Esposito said, "If that toe's looking for its owner, and that owner hasn't reported it missing, we may have a homicide on our hands."

Castle couldn't help himself. "Or our feet."

Kate rolled her eyes at her fiance.

He pouted just slightly, half-contrite, half-teasing. "You still want to marry me?"

"A thousand times yes," she smiled.

His face lit up. "Good." He held up his phone and pointed at the screen, which showed several pictures of blackened, ancient silver coins. "Because if this source is correct, the coin goes back to the reign of King Olaf the Third and may have belonged to Viking settlers from Vinland sometime around AD 1075."

Ryan stared at the screen, intrigued. "Which means someone might have lost their little appendage during a tussle over Viking treasure."

Beckett was obviously thinking something but didn't want to be the first. Castle said, "Say it. Please."

She ducked her head, smirking. "The game's afoot!"

They threw their arms around each other, their faces shining. Castle rocked her and lifted her slightly off the floor. "This'll give me something to do while you report to the Attorney General."

Esposito scowled. "The who-what now?"

"I'm going Fed."

"Aw, that's great, Beckett." The boys looked absolutely dejected, doing their best to be polite.

Lanie scowled at them, but then her smile at Kate was full of genuine pride. "Congratulations, girlfriend."

Beckett nudged Castle. "So when are you going to start that spinoff book series with Riley and Ochoa?"

Castle grinned at them. "Already have. I'm thinking of calling it "Flight of the Valkyrie." Or maybe "Wild Goose Chase."

Ryan and Esposito went into an elaborate handshake, hiding pride behind nonchalance."'We were wonderin', bro."

Ryan handed Espo a $10 bill. "So you'll be commuting to DC?"

"Or from it. I can write on the train, even grab a jet if there's an emergency." Castle turned to Beckett. "If you want me to come quicker, I hear there's a jetpack almost ready for the consumer market..."

"You read that on the Interwebs?"

Castle's face was serious now. "Any time you want me, I'm there. And of course we'll spend weekends together."

"... and we're getting married."

"Yes. We are. We're getting married. When you're ready, and any way you want to do it. It's your turn."

Lanie was poking around in the goose's stomach. She pulled out a fish-head, laying it in a metal tray along with an old aluminum pull-tab and three cigarette butts. "You elope, you die."

Castle pulled away slightly from Beckett, and tilted her chin up to his. "This is going to be the best. Damn. Summer. Ever."

Their faces were so close as to be almost touching, and Lanie could have sworn she saw actual sparks flying off their skin. She looked down at her rotting piece of evidence, and said the only thing a sensible person could say under such circumstances. "Get a room."

When she glanced back up they were already halfway out the door, and Esposito admonished them: "Remember, no eloping."

"You'll all be the first to know," Beckett said.

Castle raised a 'Scout's Honor' salute. "I'll hold her to that."

Ryan cleared his throat. "I locked the car." He paused. "I called a cab for you. It's waiting out front."

"I just need to get my jacket and tie..."

"Car's locked. I think my back seat's had enough - excitement for one day."

Castle cooed, "Busted."

Kate shoved her man out the door, grinning back at their friends. "Move along, Rick. Meter's running." Castle took her hand and they danced away. The door did not hit them on their way out.
•

Another note: I got the idea for the origami ring from Nathan himself. He posted a step-by-step instruction sequence on Twitter or Whosay or something. It was REALLY well done - I am directions-challenged and was able to actually complete it. Shiny!

Again, thanks to all who gave this story a chance. It was actually the FIRST Castle fanfiction I ever wrote, but didn't publish it because it looked like the beginning of a long & complicated case & the procedural stuff is hard and I'm lazy. So: they found the owner of the toe, and he was dead, and he was killed by a mobster running a covert foi gras operation in upstate New York. You can fill in the details for yourself. :-D

Also, mostly I write Firefly.

My dh said, "What, you've never written anything for Castle?"
"No, I love them, I just don't hear their voices in my head."
Famous last words! A few days later, the first image I got was Beckett standing in the park, gun trained on a goose, yelling "STOP! POLICE!"