Hello! Ichi here bringing you a story of Dior Eluchil! I love Dior. I think he needs a lil more credit and appreciation :) Well, this is mainly my headcanon since not much was told of Dior. This is also perhaps and addition to my doodle comic series: The Heir Of Elu at tumblr. I am not sure if Beren and Luthien as well as Dior visits Menegroth again after they moved but for the story sake, they do visit. Well, enjoy!
Summary : Sometimes Dior never felt belonged. What is he amongst all the greatness of his family?
Disclaimer: Characters from The Silmarillion belongs to J.R.R Tolkien
Dior he was called. Son of Beren and Luthien. Elf ? Human ? Half-Elven? He might never know. It doesn't matter anyway. He cannot be as great as anyone in his family. His mother,most beautiful. His father,most courageous. His grandfather, king of Doriath. His grandmother, great Maia. How will his skill compare to the greatness of them all?
Sometimes he wished he is a little bit taller, ears a little bit pointier, face a little bit fairer. He is not even average. He is self aware that amongst the elven-kin, he is nothing. Burdened over whose son he was and not who he is. Nobody noticed how he took up a little bit more practice with his sword, how he spend his time reading Daeron's paperworks, or how he sneak into his grandfather's court once in a while to study politics. He will always be noted as 'the son of Beren and Luthien' and not as Dior.
This external pressure turned Dior into a reclusive person. Sometimes, when he went alone to his grandfather's birch tree, he took a few leaves to make a flower crown. Not only a flower crown, he also took some pointy leaves and put it in his ear, wondering if it will make him look more elven. With his crown of leaves and flowers, will he look more like his grandfather ?
Dior has this blanket he likes to wear. It is comfortable and doubles as a cape. He sometimes imagines himself as one of Doriath's best adviser. That'll be pleasant. He always imagines himself someday being wiser enough, brave enough, maybe even worthy enough to be at Menegroth's court before he finishes his short human life. He could just imagine the scene. His grandfather, regal and tall in the middle of attention. They were discussing border patrols and security of the kingdom. He will be there as well. Armed with some parchment he found scattered amongst Daeron's letters and unknown books borrowed from his grandmother, he will give suggestions base on the wars they did in the past, improve them. He could see his father smiling at his intelligence and the pride on his grandfather to have him as his grandson.
"Dior".
"Ack!". What kind of intelligent elf said 'ack!' anyway ? Oh wait, he is not elven. He is nothing. His lack of self-confidence haunts him once more.
"You are in my spot." Elu's voice was monotone, expressionless as his face.
"Grandad! Sorry!" Dior instantly scoots away from his tree. The leaves and flower in his head were scattered everywhere. Some fell into Elu's robe and hair. "So sorry I made a mess" He started picking his leaves.
The elvenking has this lazy expression on him as he gazed upon his timid grandson. He think it is odd to have pointy leaves behind the ears. "Dior, sit down."he commanded.
Unable to refuse, Dior slowly sat in the side where her grandmother used to sit. Elu picked the pointy leaf off his grandson's ear. "Dior my grandchild, what is this ?"
"I-It's a leaf..." Dior replied lamely. Elu raised his eyebrow of it's obviousness.
"I uh... I mean, I.. I was pretending to be...elven." Dior voice diminishes at the last sentence but Elu managed to pick it up.
"Why ? Are you not pleased of who you are ?" Elu made a gesture of patting his grandson. Much to his confusion, his grandson tensed instead. Dior seems to be ready to flee any time now. Either flee, or be crushed under his giant grandfather's hand.
"I thought you do not like me because I am not elven. I mean.. you know.. you don't actually like dad and well.. no. That is not what I meant, like, we have dinner together and everything but... you don't... seem to... well, nobody seem to.. err. like..me?"
Dior took a glance at his grandfather. He seemed serious. Ack! Is he going to be punished or something ?! He did a wrong didn't he ?
"Do you think being elven will solve this ?" Yep. He is definitely angry, Dior thought.
Dior shook his head.
"Will it be solved of I decreed that everyone in Doriath must love Dior, son of Beren and Luthien ?"
"YOU WOULDN'T !" Dior stood. Later apologizing for being too loud.
Elu shrugged. "I could and I would if you wished. It would be unwise of me but who cares ?" He muttered unexpectedly.
"Wow..." Dior looked at his lazy grandfather in awe."...that is stupid."
"Rude." Elu pushed Dior till he fell and smiled triumphantly.
"Still thinks that I don't like you?" His voice was monotone once more.
"Well, I look cuter with pointy ears, yesh ?" Dior wiggled his other pointy leaf. Elu smiled at the childishness of his grandson.
"I wonder if I liked Beren better with those pointy leaves sticking out behind his ear..." Elu wondered.
" Granddad! Now you are being ridiculous!" Finally Dior laughed. He cannot imagine the sight of his father in those leafy ears. "and as far as I know you granddad, half of your words were serious sarcasm."
Elu smiled.
"It seems that my grandson is feeling a little down. Stand up! Draw your blade!"
Dior was stunned by the sudden command. Hesitantly he looked into his grandfather's grey eyes. It was like darkness before the storm. Unconsciously he stood up and drew his wooden sword he always kept in his belt. His grandfather is not going to draw Aranruth and fight him, is he ?
Without any signal, Dior was attacked by a pair of strong hands. He tried his best to defend the first attack but it sent him flying. Quickly he regained his stance. The son of Beren and Luthien worked quickly by instinct and dodged the next attack but caught by the following. The elvenking lifted the youth to his shoulder, resulting a yelp by Dior.
Swiftly, Dior slided like an eel and stuck his grandfather's shoulder. He plans to run as fast as he could to strike the elvenking again from the front but he wasn't fast enough. His waist was caught by a pair of strong hands. There was a glint of something Dior can only described as similar to madness in his grandfather's eye only for a few seconds as he was thrown by those strong hands towards a nearby bush. The madness slowly subsided, replaced by shock and guilt.
"Ai! Dior!" Elu rushed towards Dior. What was he thinking ? Dior is just a kid! Guilt was eating him alive.
Dior did not felt much pain from the throw, but he thought of using his grandfather's worry to make a comeback. He leaped as soon as his grandfather is close and grabbed his long silver hair.
After some incoherent scream, thrashing and throwing and spinning and laughter, both of them laid on the grass content.
"You have my eyes." the elvenking started.
"Ada always said I have my nana's eyes." Dior smiled. It is true, he has his father's brown eyes as big as his mother's. But similar to grandfather's ? No. His grandfather has a beautiful navy eye color. It was nothing like Dior's. His inferiority comes to haunt him again.
His grandfather shook his head. "No. The way you look at me when you attacked me before. I saw myself. It was my eyes." He replied solemnly.
Dior knew what he meant. The sudden gaze of madness that he saw, he felt it as well in his veins. It was a brief moment when his blood boils all too quickly, making a quick and rash decision on the top of his head. It's like breaking free of restraints and just do whatever he wished. That feeling. It was shown in their eyes.
"Never think of yourself as lesser than anyone, Dior. For you are yourself and nobody else is you. I saw what you tried to be. You wanted to be 'enough' and 'sufficient', but if I may tell you this, that being yourself, you are more than enough. You are more than qualified as yourself." His grandfather gave him a warm smile. Dior was flustered.
"Ai! You must come with me now! I have things to show you!" Elu suddenly raised Dior to sit in his shoulder. It was a common occurrence inside Menegroth. An almost teen Dior being carried by the incredibly tall elvenking. Most commonly they were greeted by either a smile or an awkward face by the residents of Menegroth. Dior was more concerned with them rather than his grandfather. His grandfather often replies with either a cheeky smile or a deadly glare. Most troubling if it was both. Elu has the tendency to quickly switch moods.
It was one of Dior's favorite pastime, hanging casually with his grandfather. They often went deep into the treasuries, rolling on gold which they have no idea what to do with. His grandfather has gold as much as autumn leaves. Dior stepped down of his grandfather to look around. So many silver and gold ! All was separated by color by a very bored elf.
Dior's eye darted to a peculiar circlet. It was a beautiful golden circlet decorated with rubies in a floral arrangement. It was too big for an elfling but too big for elven princes.
"It belonged to your mother..." Elu replied sadly. He took the circlet to examine it carefully. "She has no fondness of jewelry sadly. I commissioned it to an elven smith for one of her begetting day. She ever mentioned wanting one that is similar to my crown so I did, but her mother knows better. You grandmother asked one of her closest friend for a crown. It was much more beautiful. A flower crown decorated in autumn leaves and berries. She loved it." Elu placed it on Dior's head. It was a perfect fit. "I suppose it is yours now if you want to keep it."
Dior blinked. He likes the circlet but understands why her mother chooses a flower crown rather than the cold circlet. He didn't tell that to his grandfather though. Who knows how he will react ? Instead, Dior followed Elu deeper to the treasuries.
Deep inside the treasuries, there was a secret room. It has this uneasy feeling which makes Dior shudder. They have never ventured this deep in the treasuries, Dior thought. He looked above to see his grandfather's eye. It scares him.
Dior often wondered the magnificence of the meeting of Melian and Thingol. Imagine the long trance they got on each other. Their eye must be hazy but it pierces deep into perhaps another world. This one is different. It was scary and perhaps not the right word but Dior can only associate it to deep darkness if not blinding light. It was overwhelming, even to the greatness of Elu Thingol. Worse of all, Dior can see it affects him. Like a spider perhaps, it gnaws inside of him, sucking his soul and made a nest deep where his heart and being should be.
"Grandfather..."
"My Grandson."
Dior tremble at the finality of the word. Those deep eyes were looking at him now and he did not know what to do.
"Look at it's magnificence. Look my grandson, at what your mother and father had brought from the shadows." Elu showed him something. It was beautiful but the way it captured Elu's heart, Dior knew it was wrong. Yet, it was beautiful...
"My father..."
"and your mother,Dior." Dior felt a stroke on his back,looking at the gem with his grandfather. He can't help but also feel... entranced.
Elu took an unfinished looking necklace and placed it on Dior's neck. "One day, my heir. You will wear the prized gem in the most prized necklace. You will be a great king of Doriath someday..."
A tear suddenly fell from Dior's eye. No. NononoNO! That is wrong. "I don't want to be king granddad! I want you to rule forever and ever! I'd be dead soon anyway. I'm no elf. I'm no worthy to rule an elven kingdom. I just want to be... useful." Dior sighed. Elu held him close in his arms.
"Listen to me. You are my heir and you are worthy. One who complains otherwise shall face my wrath. " Dior ended up being silent and buried under Elu's robe. "I love you,grandson. You shall be a great king..." Not knowing what will become of Elu if indeed Dior became king.
The maddened trance under Elu was broken by the sight of Dior's black hair. It reminded him so much of what he lost. Aye, he lost his daughter for his own stupidity. What's worse, he got a cursed gem which radiance keeps him awake day and night. Never out of his sight. He longed for rest. Even the songs of the nightingales mocks him. For a second there, Elu imagined the happier days.
"I'm sorry Dior." Kings never apologies, Dior thought. But this is his grandfather... not the king speaking. Dior did not want to think anymore. Tiredness overcame him like gentle waves. He remembered being picked up, placed into a large comfortable bed. The uneasy feeling still lingers in his heart but thankfully he is too tired to care.
Apparently when the whole Menegroth trying to search for the missing Dior, they didn't dare to look at the king's chambers. There Melian left a chuckle as he kissed his sleeping beloved and their beautiful grandson. They were both covered in filth and ridiculous placement of gems. It would cause some elf-servant's life miserable, she thought. Her face quickly turned to sadness as she felt the same sickness starts gnawing inside her grandson. "Have hope beloved. A star will shine in the darkest hour." She murmured. Melian sings songs of content and happiness, of the beauty of Menegroth, of family and of fleeting happiness. It was a pleasant lullaby for the sleeping family. She can see them curled up nicely in bed afterward.
Melian can hear the worried sounds outside. "Have you seen son of Beren?! He's been missing ever since the second class started!";"No.I haven't seen him.";"I saw him walking out of class";"Oh dear, is he upset?";"No, not at all. He even smiled a bit to me."
Dior has always been very good at concealing his facial expression,Melian thought. How human of him not to. Searching for his elven trait is futile because it was right in front of their eyes. He was beautiful, fair he seems but he was far more. His potential was hidden beautifully in his modesty as great as his wrath hidden in his weak demeanor. Only in sleep perhaps, you can took a glimpse of how alike he is and his grandfather. Both eyes open, looking at each other.
"Mother, have you found our son?"
"Ssh-" Melian whispered.
Luthien smiled at the sight. Half her mind was wondering what will her beloved husband think of this sight.
"We should let them rest." Melian added.
"I agree.." Luthien giggled.