Hey all. Sorry I haven't updated Gifted in a while. Things just been busy lately. Toooo here is a lil sumtin sumtin to keep you goin~ Love to all~ 3 WARNING: Contains extreme randomness (almost disturbingly so), OOC characters, and just general chaos. Enjoi~
Bella: I like chickens!
Edward: I'M EDDIE!
Bella: I LIKE CHICKENS, EDDIE!
Edward: No! Call me Babaloo~
Bella: Babboon?
Edward: Babaloo.
Bella: Balloon?
Edward: BA-BA-BA-BAAABAAALOOOOOOOOOOOO~
Bella: I pooted.
Edward: Your farts! They smell like anchovies rolling a field of flowers~
Bella: Huzzah!
Both: *has sex*
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Edward: Will you butter my muffin?
Bella: What?
Edward: My muffin needs buttering.
Bella: Can't you butter it?
Edward: NO! Butter my muffin.
Bella: Do it yourself!
Edward: Open my can.
Bella: What?
Edward: Frost my cake.
Bella: . . .
Edward: Make my banana cream.
Bella: . . . . . .
Edward: Please?
Bella: FINE!
Both: *get their muffins buttered*
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Bella: I LOVE YOU.
Jacob: I LOVE YOU TOO.
Bella: LET'S HAVE LITTLE WOLF BABIES.
Jacob: WE CAN'T.
Bella: WHY.
Jacob: I AM NEUTERED.
Bella: *SHOCK*
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Jacob: MOO!
Bella: What?
Jacob: MOOOOOOO~
Bella: Dude, what the fuck are you doing?
Jacob: Pretending to be a cow, you retard. What does it LOOK like I'm doing?
Bella: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?
Jacob: A retard.
Bella: Oh. Okay.
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Jasper: I can feel it~
Alice: What?
Jasper: Coming in the air tonight~
Alice: What what?
Jasper: Oh lord~
Alice: In the butt?
Jasper: I've been waiting~
Alice: For pie?
Jasper: For this moment all my life~
Alice: FOR PIE!?
Jasper: Oh lord~
Alice: COME ON!
Jasper: Can you feel it~
Alice: Oh baby~
Jasper: Coming in the air tonight~
Alice: NOT IN MY FACE!
Jasper: Oh lord~ Oh lord~
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Bella: Let's go swimming!
Edward: IN THE REFRIGERATOR!?
Bella: No~ I can't. I have a curse.
Edward: NO WAI!?
Bella: Yes. The curse. . . of love~
Edward: I CAN FIX IT.
Bella: No.
Edward: Yes.
Bella: No.
Edward: Yes.
Bella: No.
Edward: Yes.
Emmett: COOKIES FOR TEH WINZ!
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Rosalie: You know that one song?
Alice: What song?
Rosalie: It's in like, Japanese. . .
Bella: What's it sound like?
Rosalie: Like. . . "Fly fly camel pie!"
Alice: Camels?
Bella: Pies?
Rosalie: No. Camel pies. There's a difference.
Alice: . . .
Bella: . . .
Rosalie: . . .
All: CAMEL PIES FOR TEH WINZ!
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Jacob: I'm so bad ass.
Random Werewolf Character Insert (Who we shall call Dante): I'm bad asser.
Jacob: Says who?
Dante: Says me.
Jacob: Couldn't be!
Dante: Then who?
Jacob: . . .
Dante: . . .
Both: *has gay wolf smex*
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Edward: Will you butter my muff--
Bella: SHUT UP!
Edward: . . .
Bella: . . .
Both: *butter their muffins. . . again. . .*
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Emmett: Why am I so unloved that I only showed up once until now?
Rosalie: Because you're an idiot.
Emmett: Says the bitch.
Rosalie: Says the retard.
Emmett: Says the whore.
Rosalie: Says the bed-wetter.
Emmett: . . .
Rosalie: That's right. I know.
Emmett: . . . How long. . .
Rosalie: What?
Emmett: How long!?
Rosalie: How long what?
Emmett: How long have you known!?!?
Rosalie: Known what???
Emmett: . . .
Rosalie: . . .
Emmett: Monkey butt. . .
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Edward: What are you doing?
Jacob: Air humping.
Edward: Why?
Jacob: Because.
Edward: Because why?
Jacob: Just because!
Edward: Just because w--
Jacob: JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO!
Edward: . . .
Jacob: . . .
Edward: . . .
Jacob: . . .
Edward: Weellll. . .
Jacob: . . .
Edward: Do you mean just because or because you want to?
Chowder: THAT'S MY LINE!
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Victoria: Why are we here?
James: Who knows. I'm supposed to be dead.
Laurent: We all ah mon.
James: Why do you have a jamaican accent?
Laurent: I dun no mon. I tink I sick.
Victoria: Yeah. . .
James: In the head. . .
Laurent: . . .A'IGHT BRUDDUH!
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Bella: I am a magical chicken!
Jacob: Says who?
Bella: Says yayme2012 on .
Jacob: Oh. . .
Bella: Yes. She is awesome. . .
Jacob: She is my inspiration. . .
Bella: She's funny. . .
Jacob: I only read about half of her "Bad Fanfiction" Twilight stuff. . .
Bella: But she made me laugh. . .
Jacob: And want to write funny stuff. . .
Bella: Go look at her stuff if you haven't already. . .
Jacob: Or I'ma eat joo. . .
Bella: This message has been brought to you by. . .
Jacob: The letter "O". . .
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Mike: No one likes me.
Eric: I know someone likes me.
Mike: Who?
Eric: The writer.
Mike: Why?
Eric: Because even though I am a side character, for some reason she is just attracted to me.
Mike: What about me?
Eric: She hates you.
Mike: . . .
Eric: I'm in her top five.
Mike: Who are the others?
Eric: First place is tied between Carlisle and Jasper, second place is Alice, third is Jacob, fourth is. . .
Mike: Who's fourth?
Eric: I forgot. . .
Mike: Where are you on the list.
Eric: Last place at the fifth spot.
Mike: HAH.
Eric: At least I'm ON the list. . .
Mike: . . .
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Bella: AYE BEE SEE DEE EEE EPH JEE
Edward: AYCH AI JAY KAY EL EM EN OO PEE
Bella: KYU ARR ESS
Edward: TEE YOO VEE
Bella: DUBLYOO EXS
Edward: WAI ZEE
Bella: NAO AI NO MAI AYE BEE SEES
Edward: NEKST TYM WONT YOO SING WITH MEE
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Alice: She's running out of things to say. . .
Rosalie: She's running out of things to say. . .
Alice: . . .
Rosalie: . . .
Both: PUDDING!
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Eric: NOW I remember who was in fourth place!
Mike: Who?
Eric: It was Victoria.
Mike: Why her!?
Victoria: Because I have amazingly beautiful and wild hair and, despite what the book said about Rosalie being as beautiful as a supermodel, she found Rosalie to be a rather ugly little bitch in the movie and considered me to be far more beautiful.
Eric: . . .
Mike: . . .
Victoria: *poofs into a bat and flies off into the night*
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Mike: You look nothing like a yorkie. . .
Eric: . . .
Mike: . . .
Eric: My real name isn't Eric Yorkie, you know.
Mike: What is it then?
Eric: Justin--
Mike: TIMBERLAKE!?
Eric: . . .
Mike: I'm bringin' sexy back~
Eric: . . . . . .
Mike: Them other boys don't know how to act~
Eric: . . . . . . . . .
Mike: I think it's special what's behind your back~
Eric: . . . . . . . . . . . .
Mike: So turn around and I'll pick up the slack~
Eric: . . . I just died a little inside. . .
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Aro: OH MY GOD I FINALLY GET AN APPEARANCE!
Caius: Me too!
Marcus: . . .
Aro: Marcus~
Caius: Marcus~
Marcus: . . .
Aro: We love you, Marcus!
Caius: Don't be emo, Marcus!
Marcus: . . .
Aro: Don't get mad. . .
Caius: GET GLAD!
Marcus: . . . *facepalms*
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Felix: She seems to favor the side characters more than the main characters.
Dimitri: Yeah I-- *gets interupted when the writer has to go answer the phone*
Felix: . . .
Dimitri: . . .
5 Minutes Later. . .
Felix: . . .
Dimitri: . . . *waits for her to hang up* Anyway. I. . . . .
Felix: . . . What?
Dimitri: I FORGOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY!
Felix: DAMMIT!
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Mike: Dirty babe~
Eric: . . .
Mike: You see these shackles? Baby I'm you're slave~
Eric: . . .
Mike: I'll let you whip me if I misbehave~
Eric: . . .
Mike: It's just that no one makes me feel this way~
Eric: . . . Someone. . . please shoot me. . .
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Rosalie: FLY FLY
Alice: CAMEL PIE
Bella: . . .
Rosalie & Alice: FLY FLY CAMEL PIE~
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Jacob: WHO WEARS SHORT SHORTS!?
Edward: I WEAR SHORT SHORTS!
Bella: WOOT!
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Emmett: I wanna be the very best~
Alice: Oh god.
Emmett: Like no one ever was~
Edward: Someone stop him.
Emmett: To catch them is my real test~
Rosalie: Emmett shut up!
Emmett: To train them is my cause~
Jasper: GOOD LORD SAVE US!
Emmett: I will travel across the land~
Carlisle: Not again!
Emmett: Searching far and wide~
Esme: Emmett dear. Please shut u--
Emmett: THESE POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND~
Bella: He's singing louder! Someone! Stop him!!
Emmett: THE POWER THAT'S INSIDE!!!
Everyone: *pins Emmett down and stuffs his mouth with a sock*
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Naruto: Why are we here?
Sasuke: Because the writer is an idiot and got her crap mixed up. . .
Sakura: Yeah, Sasuke! OMG Sasuke! Lyk Saskay!
Naruto: WHY IS IT ALWAYS SASUKE!?
Sasuke: . . .
Sakura: OMG SASKAY! SASKAY! LIKE OMFGLOLWTFBBQ!!1! SASKAY! SASKAY! OMG ILU SAS!
Naruto: . . .
Sasuke: . . .
Sakura: *head blows up and dies*
Naruto: Huzzah!
Sasuke: Huzzah!
Both: *makes out*
Twilight Characters: . . . . . . . . . .