A/N: okay this is a request FF for Partydarnit (did I spell that right?) anyway she requested it so here it is featuring her OTP Zetsu and Deidara from Naruto!
Rated M for language and of course yaoi lemon
I own nothing whatsoever and I get nothing for making this
"hey how you doing?"-Zetsu's white half
"hey whats up?" -Zetsu's black half
it's been one week since Sasori died, and one week since I've started my vow of silence but no one seems to notice, no one seems to care so why should I? I should have stayed and fought with him but how hard could it be to eliminate an old woman and a little girl? I on the other hand had to deal with Naruto the jinchūriki brat and Kakashi the copy ninja and yet I got away almost scot free...except loosing my other arm obviously.
I guess I should be thankful I got my arms back, thanks to that creepy rag doll Kakuzu and his freaky abilities but hey isn't that what the Akatsuki really is? A roaming band of circus freaks? I guess it could be worse at least I don't look like Kisame. Of course my misery did not end there, I then had to be partnered up with this guy Tobi I mean Sasori's body wasn't even cold yet! (can his puppet body get cold anyway? I don't know) but let me tell you something about Tobi that boy is a nut case I mean who in the hell talks about themselves in third person? Not me that's for sure.
what's really weird though is that not only is Tobi a little orange ball of insanity he seems to had made good friends with Zetsu our resident garbage disposal, I swear I almost had a heart attack when I saw he had found my arm I mean what would I have done if he had ate it? Too bad my other mouth didn't chew his lips off, now that would have been a sight.
So after getting my arms reattached I was allowed to take a temporary leave which was stupid I mean where would I go? Not back home to Iwagakure that's for certain I highly doubt I'd get a welcome home party anyway. So here I was back at the Akatsuki base flipping absentmindedly through the T.V channels not really paying attention to anything until I get this prickly feeling like someone is behind me. Turning around I find Zetsu looking down at me his usual nonchalant expression on his bi-colored face.
Scowling I turn back finally noticing that the food network channel was on, oh well better than nothing I suppose. I feel the couch shifting to support Zetsu's weight and I'm thinking, why can't he go do something else? But no he's sitting beside me on this tiny couch were every time I even breathe I can feel him right. Beside. Me. and I want to tell him off I really do, I want to tell him to get his meat-sucking face away from me and go bother someone else but a don't, why? Because I can't, why? Because I would be breaking a promise to myself if I did and so I don't.
so we sit in silence watching some chick put cheese on everything and I mean everything I swear the bitch would put cheese on cheese if she could...oh wait she did. so here I am watching a cheese fanatic on T.V trying to ignore the awkward feeling I have and trying to ignore the meat maniac beside me and you know what? it's not working because I can feel him, this solid mass of bi-colored weirdness beside me, I can feel every time he inhales and exhales and I want to hurt him I really do.
I want to blow him sky high, I want to burn him alive, hell I'd even go with making him into a damn Christmas tree I bet ol' plant boy would love that! I don't though because the more I think about it the more I realize he is there which fucks up my nerves even more. "Tobi says you have stopped talking, why the hell would you do something like that?" he states/asks and I am so close to punching him that it's not even funny and I really, really want to kill the 'good boy' for talking to Zetsu about me anyway.
I look at him and that's when I notice he's missing his plant...things? I open my mouth to ask him where the hell they went but I stop and mentally slapping myself for even thinking about breaking my vow I frown and turn my attention to the T.V. "is this because of Sasori? I'm glad he's gone the little pretty boy," his black half sneers and instead of resorting to violence like I normally would I instead stand up and leave. I'm actually quite pleased at myself for not giving in to his rude remarks and I head toward the kitchen because frankly I'm so hungry I could eat anything...well almost anything I wouldn't go around Tobi with a ten foot fork.
Opening the refrigerator and scanning the contents inside I finally made my decision and picked up a half opened can of potted meat, just as I was about to spoon out the meat I felt Zetsu pop up beside me, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you, you might die Blondie," he said, looking at him I reluctantly put the can down without saying a single word. "Are you ever going to talk again? I hope it's soon I feel like I'm talking to an idiot!" he says to which I shrug and open the door to search for food again.
"I know a way to get you to talk," his white half says and for a second I'm curious but I don't let him know that so I continue to look inside the ice box for anything remotely edible. "I could, kiss you" he said and my head shoots up so fast I stumble from the unexpected dizziness, once the dizziness clears I just gape at him with I hope is a horrified expression because the last thing I want is for that schizoid to kiss me!
"are you going to talk? or am I going to have to make you?" he asks and before I could run he grabs my arm and smashes our mouths together, forcibly backing me up against the sink I feel his hand cup the back of my head while the other wraps around my waist to keep me still. Struggling to get free was useless so I use the mouths on my hands to bite the exposed flesh of his collar bone which luckily makes his hold weaken enough for me to shove him off.
"What the hell are you doing un?" I yell slightly hoarse at not using my voice in so long.
"at least I got you to talk, now tell me why you haven't until now," he orders.
"I made a vow okay? To honor Sasori no Danna's death so I haven't talked, happy now? And for that matter why in the hell did you kiss me un?" I asked half angry, half appalled.
"I had to get you to talk somehow, don't act disgusted kissing you wasn't all roses either," he replied crossing his arms over his chest.
"Of course you had to use a flowery metaphor didn't you un? Great now my first kiss was with you of all people jeez what a waste!" I growled.
"I was your first kiss? Why did you wait so long for?" he asked slightly surprised.
"I don't know un! Maybe because unlike you un, I don't randomly lip-lock with just anyone!" I retorted.
"I thought you would be just a little experienced, not a damn prude who the hell waits that long?" he said/asked.
"I am not a prude un!" I yelled, "now if you don't mind, I'm going back to my vow of silence un!"
Without warning I feel his lips back on mine and breaking away I scream at him, "Why the hell are you kissing me un?"
"I'm going to keep kissing you until you give up this vow of silence, you got a problem with that blondie?" he says before pressing our lips together again. Like before I struggle fruitlessly to get away but he's smarter this time as he pins my hands behind me so I try to use my legs to knock him off but the plant lover just immobilizes them with his own. using his free hand he cups my head again and I tense when I feel his tongue graze along my bottom lip asking for entrance to which I give him none, frowning against my mouth I gasp in shock as well as pain when one of his teeth cleanly slices through the tender skin of my lip before sucking on the sore skin to rid it of blood. before I could close my mouth he slips his slick muscle inside which causes me to struggle anew which just ends unsuccessfully as his grip on my wrists tighten to the point were I whimper in pain.
I shiver slightly when his thick tongue plays with mine and I'm surprised he doesn't taste like I expected him to, he actually tastes sweet and though I can't identify the flavors it's not bad though and I can still taste the lingering coppery tang of blood from were he cut my lip. his grip on my wrists lessen and the hand cupping my head threads through my hair and massages my scalp and I feel myself melting into the kiss because Zetsu is a great kisser and I keep telling myself it could be worse it could be Kisame. I let him kiss me because it honestly feels...good and maybe because he's being gentle and taking his time or perhaps I'm just hormonal, either way is a good enough reason for me.
I realize I'm running out of air but how do you tell someone who has your mouth occupied as well as your hands and legs that you're freaking suffocating and to let you up? Well problem solved because at that right moment Zetsu finally decides to give my poor mouth a rest and breaks the kiss without me having to. Resting his forehead against mine we just look into each others eyes and let our breaths mingle, "are you going to quit your vow now? I hope so because it's pissing me off," he says and I nod because right now I'm too dumbfounded to say anything.
"Good now the question remains, where would you like me to fuck you?" he asks so bluntly.
"What?" I asked confused; I wasn't stupid mind you I knew what 'fucking' meant it was just my brain was a little foggy considering I just had the best kiss imaginable (my only one but still it ranked high up there). "Deidara I'd prefer a room with a bed, but hey I'm up for screwing you on the sink as well take your pick," he replies.
"I don't know...with you un?" I asks slightly embarrassed I mean wasn't this moving just a tad too fast?
"Yes Deidara with me, who else is there blondie now pick," he said slightly irritated.
"your room is fine un," I said feeling my face heat slightly, he nodded and grabbed my hand before leading me to his room, once inside he closes the door with my body as he slams me quiet forcefully against it, "tell me now if you don't want this, because it's your last chance to say so," he said looking into my eyes. not taking my eyes of his golden orbs I nod slowly before saying, "I'm not going anywhere un."
"Fair enough," he says before kissing me hard on the mouth, his previous kisses were gentle but this one was more adamant, more dominate, more addicting. Wrapping my arms around his two-toned neck I threaded my fingers through his green hair as his tongue invaded my mouth and began mapping my wet orifice with incredible experience. his hands busied themselves with the task of removing my Akatsuki cloak and I shivered as the cool air hit my exposed skin of my heated body. he pulled back and looked at me and I averted my eyes with virgin embarrassment; this wasn't the first time I was naked in front of another man but this was the first time like this.
looking at the plain grey of the carpet I faintly heard the rustle of clothes and the hiss of the zipper being pulled, closing my eyes I let my other senses take over and I could also hear his irritated sigh as well as my own heart frantically beating in my chest. still keeping my eyes closed I tensed as I felt his hands on my naked waist and the feel of his smooth chest against mine, skin against skin, and I shivered as his warm wet tongue traced along the side of my neck before his sharp teeth grazed against my pulse slicing through the skin.
I groaned at the mixture of pain and pleasure as his tongue was replaced with his mouth as he greedily sucked the cut skin of my neck removing any trace of blood and perhaps marking me as well. "Why do you bite me un?" I asked my voice tight.
"it arouses me and you seem to like it too, your already pitching a tent," he answered gripping my arousal through my pants, I instinctively buck up, eager to experience more of that pleasure but he pulls away and I open my eyes to glare at him and his smug expression. still scowling I allow him to turn me around and lead me to his bed and I yelp softly as I'm pushed down on his stiff mattress but all anger escapes me as I take in his half naked form.
I gaped in awe as my eyes met with not flab or other grotesque things I had previously imagined but with smooth bi-colored skin, with a broad muscled chest and surprisingly thin waist. I licked my lips to moisten them as my mouth became completely dry as he crawled over me a arrogant grin on his black and white lips. "like the view?" he asked teasingly to which I nodded enthusiastically, he smirked and bent his head down to claim my lips, losing once again to a battle of tongues I gasped as I felt cool air against my now freed member.
Blushing like a virgin I once again avoided his eyes in embarrassment at how hard I was, and for Zetsu of all people! I felt his warm fingers grip my chin and half gently half forcefully made me look at him, "whats wrong?" he asked his eyes concerned.
"It's embarrassing un!" I whined unable to directly meet his eyes, he nodded in understanding and I gasped wantonly as his wet tongue circled the areola of my left nipple before drawing the quivering bud in his mouth before sucking on it gently. Fisting the grey sheets on his bed I groaned as his teeth cut through the area just above my nipple before sucking on the sore flesh tenderly. Leaving the left one for the right I shuddered as his hand began teasing and rolling the moistened mound while his mouth was wreaking havoc on the other one.
rising up slightly I felt him lick along the strings keeping my fourth mouth closed and I watched with fascination as he tongued the area sending tiny shivers down my body, removing his mouth from my chest I looked curiously as he sucked on three of his white fingers with zeal, laving his fingers with saliva. Removing them from his mouth he parted the three glistening fingers, seemingly satisfied he looked at me for approval and though curious I felt it would ruin to mood to ask and I figured I would find out anyway so I nodded for him to continue.
I stiffened as one thick finger inserted inside me and though it didn't hurt it felt insanely uncomfortable and I looked at him questioningly, "I need to prepare you, you don't want it to hurt do you?" he said/asked and I nodded for him to continue. I hissed through clenched teeth as another one of his fingers found their way inside me and this one hurt, he must've noticed for he gently raise my knee up and began placing small bites and kisses on my skin possibly trying to help me forget about the pain.
after a few seconds of him kissing and stretching me I bit back tears as thankfully the last finger went inside me, "shh it's okay Deidarait will get better soon, as soon as I find it damn where is it?" he growled impatiently and I briefly wondered what the hell was he searching for that is until he found it. I moaned loudly as white hot pleasure flooded my system making me forget entirely about the pain and I looked at him through half lidded eyes at his grinning face, "found it," he said smirking.
apparently satisfied he removed his fingers eliciting a wince on my part and shifted so he could remove his pants, I felt my eyes widen as I took in his large size and fear gripped my heart because there was no way that thing could fit inside me and I told him so, "there is no way that will fit un!"
"Yes it will, I'll make it fit," his black half retorted not easing my fear in the least. Before I can protest he leaned over me and I felt his shaft push past my cheeks before sliding slowly inside me, gripping his forearms I tried desperately to ignore the pain but damn it was impossible! Tears pricked my eyes and I could feel the warm fluid that was his blood as my nails bit through the skin of his arms, "your going great, just a little more okay?" he reassured me, I nodded and felt his lips on my neck softly sucking on my sensitive spot trying to comfort me.
finally after a few agonizing minutes he was fully sheathed inside me and I was breathing so hard I felt like I had just ran a marathon, "you move and I'll blow you to pieces got it un?" I threatened trying to accommodate his massive size, he nodded and tried to mask a smile but I saw it anyway. Forcing my body to relax I waited...and waited and waited for the pain to go away but it didn't. "Fuck! Why isn't the pain lessening?" I whined frustrated. I clenched around the painful intrusion and widened my eyes when I felt him release a shuddering breath.
"Don't do that again," he warned, I nodded and finally just a few moments later the pain died down to a dull ache, I wiggled my hips experimentally and though the pain spiked it was bearable, giving him the okay he slowly pulled out and slowly pushed back in. he continued at the slow pace, I could tell he hated going slow but hey it's his problem he's the one that semi-forced me into this so he deserved to wait! I groaned as he forced my legs up and placed them over his elbows and though it hurt again he was thrusting into me deeper which was good.
"f-faster," I said and faster he went and soon he was thrusting into me harder, faster and deeper until I thought I was going to melt. Gripping the sheets once again he changed his angle and I screamed loudly as that special pleasure spot was smacked into. Grinning lecherously he pounded into me at that angle hitting that spot with precision each time, the fire in my belly increased until it hurt and it wasn't until he gripped my leaking cock did it grow and grow until it popped like a balloon and I came hard screaming his name.
he leaned to kiss me which put my body at an odd angle but I didn't care I was in euphoria and as he kissed me I felt him empty his load into my once virgin body coating my insides with his hot seed. After a few moments we came down off our high and I flopped my head back on the bed breathing heavily and my heart pounding out of my chest. Pushing my sweaty hair from my face I looked at Zetsu who seemed to glow in the aftermath of his orgasm, moving my legs slightly he slid out of me and moved to lie down beside me, "you were great Deidara, best lay ever," he said. I laughed and turned to face him wincing as I did so because great sex or not it still hurt!
"What happens now un?" I asked looking at his bi-colored face.
"Well anytime you decide to have a vow of silence, let me know I'll get you out of it," he said.
"The same way?" I asked.
"Exactly the same," he replied.
"And if I decide not to have anymore? Then what un?" I asked.
"Then I'll find another excuse, to get you under me," he replied.
"Why don't you just ask un?" I questioned smiling at him softly.
"Will you always be willing?" he asked.
"For you...always," I answered. He smiled and leaned in to kiss me and for once since Sasori no Danna's death I was relieved.
"Oh and for the record, I'm not plant obsessed," he said, I blushed and wondered how did he know?
A/N: okay how was it? not too terrible I hope and if it was please forgive me!
Another A/N: if anyone has a request they want me to write feel free to PM me any time! Thanks for reading!