Doctor Who: Doubt
by: domina tempore (formerly "jewel of athos")
Prompt: doubt (Traveller's Tales prompt #39, at doctor_donna on livejournal)
Disclaimer: Doctor Who and all of its characters and locations belong to their respective owners; I'm just borrowing. No copyright infringement intended!
Summary: He had never understood why Donna Noble had trusted him so much… post JE
Author's Note: …So in the unhealthy amount of time I spend pondering the well-acted tragedy that was Journey's End, this came up (courtesy of my mother, actually). While the Doctor really didn't have the authority to do what he did, Donna *let* him do it anyways. As much as she protested, when it came down to it she let him make the choice, which I find incredibly interesting, and incredibly brave. This prompt seemed sort of perfect for it.
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She hadn't doubted him, in the end. For the most part, the Doctor was glad of this; he could never have saved her life if she hadn't trusted him that night. But at the same time, he hated it. He hated himself for earning that trust, because he knew that he didn't deserve it. She had begged him, pleaded that he allow her to stay even after she knew what would happen if he let her.
He'd betrayed her trust. He knew the consequences of what he was asking her; but she had a Timelord mind, and so did she. She wasn't just human anymore, and he'd not had the authority to make that choice for her. But he had. He stole from her; everything that he had know and come to realize was beautiful, he ripped out of her and hid away inside her mind, not to be touched. In doing so, he'd saved the life of the woman that he'd come to love; but he'd also destroyed her.
And she had let him.
That was something that still puzzled him, even to this day. She had cried and she had begged for him not to take her away; she had broken his hearts with her pain. But she had let him do it anyways. She had a Timelord mind; it would have been easy for her to fight him and shut him out. With one single thought she could have forced him away, out of her mind, and she would have lived and died like she had asked. But she didn't. She'd trusted that whatever he did would be what needed to be done, even if it meant monumental sacrifice on her part. He had given her no reason to believe in him, and yet she had not doubted him for a second. She had allowed him that choice.
The Doctor could never understand why she had done it, which he found quite unnerving; because he understood everything eventually. But the brave "death" – because she had been brave – of Donna Noble, much like everything else about her, remained a mystery. His best friend; that confusing, impossible, brilliant woman, had put her life in his hands, and he would never have the chance to ask her why.
One thing, however, became painfully clear in his mind. He decided in that moment that he was never going to trust someone enough that they he did what she had done. As powerful and strong as he knew he was, he also knew that he was not brave enough to give up his choice. If he was going to go out, he would do it fighting.
fin.
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A/N: Good gosh, what IS it with me and endings lately? I am very much a failure in this way… However, the sentiment stands.