Чувак
Mabel was dying. She'd been carrying groceries from the mall to the shack, while Grunkle Stan went to get new inventory with Soos. Dipper was walking with her, at one stage, but he'd all but disappeared. "How does he go so fast?" Mabel whined. She wanted to sit down, but the dirt road would ruin her skirt, and possibly her sweater. She stopped waddling and put the bags down. She took off the knitted jumper and tied it around her waist. It was a bright pink one, with a pocket sown into the front, she kept a lot of photos in it before she made collages. It barely hovered off the ground, but at this point, that didn't matter. She picked up the bags and grunted girlishly, her back straining to lift the pig treats and other groceries they'd bought in town. "I bet stupid Dipper's *pant* got all of the light stuff* with him." She wheezed as she started trundling towards the mystery shack.
She'd walked about halfway back before she actually started getting woozy. She was out of breath, tired and light headed. Nobody should ever have to walk this far. She was too tired to even voice her complaints anymore. She'd walked far enough that now she was on the road from town to the shack, as opposed to the shortcut that she found with dipper. No car had passed by.
Then she saw it. She was on one of the straits when she did. It was the most beautiful thing her eyes had ever laid upon, and it was coming towards her. Her vision faded, and when it came back she was on her side, but she could still see it. It came quickly, and seated itself next to her. Someone came from around the other side, shouting something in two languages, one she didn't recognise, then in broken English. She felt so detached that she barely knew the person was yelling at her, then for help. As she fainted, she managed to mutter, "M-Mystery Sh-Shack." Then black.
She woke up some time later, with a drip connected to her arm, clad in a white hospital gown, and with a small picture on her chest. She reached for it, her arms heavy as cinder blocks, and stared at what was there. "K-c-a-h-s, Y-r-e, oh." She flipped the image, with a degree of effort and looked again. It was the shack, and dipper was walking towards it. The letters weren't half falling off, or at least, they were all there. She blinked slowly, thinking.
She looked around and realised where she was. There was a radio next to her, quietly playing a ninety's song she didn't quite know the name of. Dipper might know. Oh no, Dipper! She tossed the picture, and wrestled with the sheets on her bed, flailing and trying desperately to get her legs to function. "Hey, chyuvak, gordisyaen, slow down, easy, easy chyuvak, its o-kyay huh, its o-kyay." He had a deep voice, and an accent she couldn't place.
"Where am I?" She said, even though she knew she was in the clinic.
"You are in, a-uh, bol'nitsa, hopital. Right, hopital?"
"Hospital, it's called a hospital." She was tired and sore, but she managed a small giggle at his English.
"Oh, o-kyay, hwos-spit-tall. Uh, I found you on side of road, broght you to here." The memory of her fainting passed through her mind.
"The food, and waddles' treats!" she panicked and started to flail again, focusing more on her legs.
"Do-on't worry yourself. I have bags in car." He was referring to Mabel's bags, and she calmed down again. She looked at him, and for the first time she actually noticed that he wasn't an American.
"Where are you from?" she asked, "and what's with the weird letters on your shirt?"
"Ya Russkiy." He said, sitting tall with his chest out, his fists on his hips. "I am Russian, and these letters, they say, International Royal Youth Ambassador."
Mabel fainted again, out of tiredness and shock. She had just met Russian Royalty!