An/ Nope, don't own Criminal Minds.

This came out when I was trying to think of ideas for other stories and I was too lethargic to write anything else. Its not part of the QuoteLyric Challange, though it should be. Sorry.

Yes, its pretty OOC, but what can I say? I was having fun. Anyway, ENJOY!

"Hotch, what's the matter?" JJ asked as he opened the door for her.

"I need your help." He said desperately. JJ had never seen Hotch lose his composure, this was just a little much to handle.

"With what?" She inquired worriedly.

"Rossi isn't home, and you like dogs." He said, as though it made sense.

JJ raised her eyebrow quizzically. She did like dogs, when they weren't attacking her in barns. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I made an impulse decision and now I'm finding that the Reid effect is contagious." Hotch informed, opening the door to his bathroom where JJ found a small dog gnawing on a bone. As soon as Hotch came within the puppy's line of sight, it began to growl pathetically. "It hates me."

"Hotch, I'm sure it doesn't hate you." JJ offered sympathetically. As the puppy saw the blonde woman, it yelped excitedly and ran to her.

"Man-hater." Hotch muttered. "She only likes you because you're a woman."

His accusation fell upon deaf ears as JJ played with her new friend."Hey buddy." She cooed. "What's your name?"

"Strauss." Hotch told her as JJ snorted in laughter.

"Seriously?" She chortled.

"Her name is Strauss." Hotch shrugged. He knew that it was petty, but he had to get his hatred for the woman out somehow.

"That is cold." JJ smiled. "No wonder she doesn't like you. She knows about her name sake. Does she have a middle name?"

"You give dogs a middle name?" He snorted.

"Yeah, you do." JJ explained. "What do you want her middle name to be? Or actually what do you want her re-name to be because I don't think she's fond of her identity."

"How do you know that?" He teased.

"I speak puppy." JJ laughed. "I just know these things."

"Alright. Re-naming her." His fingers tapped his chin as he contemplated his options. "Lassie?"

The dog made a groaning sound.

"I don't think she likes it." JJ translated teasingly. "Besides, that really isn't original."

"Gretta?" He shrugged.

The dog made no expression.

"I think its alright, but not what she's looking for." JJ informed.

"JJ, she's a dog. She is incapable of cognition." Hotch countered.

"Be that as it may, she doesn't like it." JJ shrugged. "What else have you got?"

"Lady?"

JJ knew she really didn't speak dog, but she swore that the dog cried in excitement.

"I think she likes it." JJ said, as though she wasn't feeling like she had gone insane.

"Can you ask her why she doesn't like me?" Hotch asked, only half joking.

"Okay." JJ said turning to the dog. "Lady, woof woof woo-woo-woof ruff bark."

"That was very eloquent." Hotch said in mock seriousness as Lady panted happily and licked JJ's hand. He chuckled loudly to which she turned and growled.

"I've got a way with words." JJ laughed, something she hadn't planned on doing when she answered the text of "JJ, come quick. My house. Emergency." She had thought that someone had died or something, only to find out she was helping puppy train. "Can I just ask, what were you thinking? You're not a dog person."

Hotch thought back to what had lead to all of this. A few hours earlier, desperation had set in, causing him to act irrationally. He laughed at the urgency that had taken before earlier that Saturday.

Hotch was in a new and desperate mode. He was seeing Jack today and he was in need of winning over his own son. Lately, Jack was very resistant at any attempts to bring bonding between the father and son. Hotch wasn't going to lose his own son like that. He was going to do the only thing he could think of, though he knew it crossed the line into pathetic. He was going to buy a puppy.

He didn't even know what to look for in a dog. His mom had been allergic so the Hotchner boys had never had one and Hailey hadn't ever really wanted one. But he remembered that on Jack's Christmas list there had been one bold item that they hadn't gotten him, a puppy. And now it was time to pay up.

When he arrived at the pet store, he had never felt so powerless in his life. He had no idea how to pick a dog. He looked into the kennel, and felt startled. He officially knew how Reid felt every time they were near a canine.

"How can I help you?" A happy woman came up to him. He read from her name tag that her name was Janie. He didn't know how certified Janie was to help him pick out a dog, but he had no other options.

"I'm looking for a dog." He said decisively.

"That's nice." She smiled. "What kind of dog?"

"A cool one?" He said, not knowing what else there was. Rossi had a dog, he should have asked Rossi what to look for.

"Hmmm." She said, tight lipped and nervous. "I can honestly say that I have never heard that one before."

"It's for my son." Hotch didn't know why he was explaining this to Janie, but that didn't stop him. "He wanted a puppy."

"How old is your son?" Janie asked, trying to help the best way that she could.

"Five." Hotch informed gratefully.

"Alright. Well, you're looking for a friendly dog." She nodded. "Would you like a big dog or a small dog?"

"Small to medium-as long as its not yappy." He shrugged. Normally the most decisive person he knew, he wasn't good at being helpless.

"Well, that's a start." Janie said, letting him into the kennel. "No Yorkies. What else are you looking for?"

"I'm pretty busy so a lower maintenance dog would be nice." He informed.

Janie walked him over to a kennel full of puppies. "How about a beagle? Everybody loves beagles."

"A Beagle?" He asked. "Are you sure?"

"They are great with kids and they are relatively easy to train. As long as you feed him and take him for walks, he'll be your son's best friend." Janie insisted.

"Do people usually like beagles?" He inquired.

"Most enjoy their pets. They are a highly intelligent breed of dog." Janie said reassuringly.

"Alright." Hotch said. "I'll take the beagle."

"Okay, which one do you want?" Janie asked again, bringing up a whole new set of issues.

"Hello? Hotch?" JJ waved as the unit chief zoned out. She wasn't used to this side of him, but she had to admit, she sort of liked it. "You still there?"

"Sorry." He blushed. "Just thought of how I got into this mess."

"How did you?" She asked curiously, the dog still licking her fingers anxiously.

"I uh-was trying to buy Jack's love." He admitted awkwardly.

JJ laughed appreciatively. "So that's how this came about." She smirked at how different this was from how they usually interacted. "I should have known."

"How am I supposed to win my son over with a dog if the dog hates me?" Hotch groaned pathetically. "I'm officially a loser."

"No." JJ said reassured. "What you did was sweet."

"Lady hates me." He reminded her, as if on cue, Lady barked again.

"We can fix that." JJ promised. "Lady will love you by the end of this."

"How do you propose to do that?"

"You two just need to bond." JJ prompted. "Its all about the bonding."

"Bond with the dog?" Hotch questioned skeptically. "I'm afraid that she is going to bite me."

"Trust between dog and owner is a powerful thing." JJ informed him. "Few short building exercises and lady will go to the ends of the earth for you."

"Trust exercises between me and a dog?" Hotch scoffed. "I didn't even do those with my wife."

"And now you're divorced." JJ countered. "Come on, just trust me."

"I don't know if I can do that. We've done no trust building exercises." Hotch teased, though it felt odd. He didn't often laugh with the members of his team, but for some reason, laughing with JJ right now was easier than anything he had ever done.

JJ smacked him playfully. "Fine. I get that you think that my ideas are out there, but just think of what Garcia would have you do."

Hotch contemplated this for a moment before gaining the mental image of him, Lady and Garcia visiting a psychic who spoke to canines. Maybe he had made the right decision by picking JJ instead of her. "I could have asked Emily, or Reid. Or Morgan, Morgan even owns a dog." He cursed himself for forgetting the obvious. Though if he had remembered, he still doubted that he would have called Morgan. Morgan would have mocked him so bad throughout this ordeal and his pride was already shaken.

"Emily or Reid?" JJ laughed disbelievingly. "They hate dogs."

"Emily does not hate dogs." Hotch reasoned.

"No, she does." JJ insisted. "Do you not remember the time we were at Rossi's and she kept on calling his dog 'the thing.' I'm sure Lady would just love her."

"Well Lady can't hate Emily nearly as much as she hates me." Hotch countered. He normally ignored the joy he felt in his and JJ's constantly bickering repartee but this felt nice at the moment, he had no idea why, but it did feel nice.

"Just call for her." JJ encouraged.

"Alright." Hotch conceded. "Lady." He cried quietly.

"You have to say it like you mean it." JJ instructed. "Do it again."

"Lady." Hotch called again, this time with feeling. At JJ's insistence, Lady ran to her master for the first time. She didn't bob up and down happily as she did with JJ, but that in and of itself was a major improvement.

"Alright." JJ hooted. "That is what I am talking about."

"I think I got this, you can---" He began as the dog howled in agony. Apparently she had seen JJ flinch to walk out of the room and instantly knew that she needed to intervene. When a puppy likes a person, she doesn't merely let them go.

"Lady." JJ shushed.

The dog went and sat in front of the door way, as to restrict JJ from leaving. JJ for her part was in an odd situation. She was stuck in her boss's bathroom, with her boss, being blocked by a dog. She was fairly sure that she hadn't planned on this when she had awoken that morning.

"She likes you better than me." Hotch noted, not surprised in the least. Everyone liked JJ, apparently even dogs.

"It's a girl thing." JJ giggled.

"So gender lines transcend above species." Hotch retorted. "Got it."

"Ask her politely to move out of the way." JJ commanded.

"You do it, she likes you better." Hotch countered.

"You're acting like you're five." JJ rolled her eyes, unsure of what was bringing this into her boss. "Fine, Lady." JJ smiled before she made a small whistle. "Out of the way girl."

Though Hotch and JJ knew it was impossible, it appeared to them as though Lady shook her head, unwilling to let them part.

"Your dog is stubborn." JJ grumbled.

"No wonder you two get along." Hotch laughed, shoving JJ slightly, who in return glared.

"I will have you know that I had so many better things I could have done today." She said sarcastically. "Like work."

"That's usually my weekend." Hotch mumbled as JJ chuckled appreciatively.

"We could take Lady for a walk." JJ suggested. "Lady, would you like that?"

Lady barked in excitement, running up to JJ with glee. For the first time, Lady looked at Hotch without appearing as though she was going to bite him.

"Looks like a yes." Hotch said grabbing the leash. He had to admit, fulfilling such a domestic duty with JJ sounded more like fun than a chore. "The lady at the store told me Beagles were intellegent. They were supposed to be easy to train."

JJ burst into a fit of light laughter, something Hotch didn't understand. "You do realize what intelligence means in dog words?"

"No..."

"Its code for stubborn. Lady will be easy to train--if she wants to be." JJ cackled. "Looks like you're going to be needing me longer than you thought."

"You're kidding?" Hotch shook his head, not at all disheartened by the prospect.

"Wish I was." JJ smiled. "But you have got yourself a stubborn puppy."

"Maybe I should have named her JJ." He mused, ignoring the elbow that was thrown to his gut while they walked down the stairs.

"When I get a pet python, its going to be named after you." JJ promised enthusiastically, allowing her hand to grab the man's next to her as she clutched onto the dog's leash and headed out the door of Hotch's home.

"Aaron, go get her." JJ whimpered five years later to her husband as Lady scratched at the door.

"JJ, she can't sleep in the bed with us." Hotch affirmed. "We knew this day would happen."

"Come on." JJ smiled. "It is because of that dog that we got together--show her some respect."

"Fine, only because you're pregnant." Hotch grumbled as Lady happily jumped onto the bed, nestling up to JJ. JJ smiled as she rubbed the fur of her best friend. Without Lady, there would have never been a relationship, and JJ was forever grateful for that.

"Hey girl." Hotch muttered as Lady nuzzled him as well. It had taken three years, but Lady eventually had warmed up to him enough that she wouldn't push him out of the bed when JJ slept over. She licked his fingers affectionately, glad that she could bring her two owners together. Now if only they could get Lady to stop barking whenever Reid came over.

An/So let me know what you thought.