Title: Being Alone
Author: ZenosParadox
Rating: PG
Summary: RS, friendship. Malcolm reveals a fear to Hoshi after Vox Sola in Season 1. Mild spoilers.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount. This fiction was written solely for personal enjoyment.
BEING ALONE
"When we released the creature on the planet, it in turn released a gas that could adversely affect human physiology. Denobulans and Vulcans are unaffected given that our blood is not based on hemoglobin." Phlox' cheery voice seemed delighted at the discovery.
"Although the EV suits minimized the exposure, it appears that Ensign Sato has been exposed sufficiently to warrant time in decontamination. An hour in decon should ensure the gas has cleared your system."
Sato grimaced. The tension of the last few days was catching up to her and she just wanted to go to her quarters to be alone in a quiet environment. Reed had a light smile on his face. He just wanted to get back to work and although he sympathized with the Ensign, he was happy not to share in her predicament--until the Doctor dictated otherwise.
"I believe you should join Ensign Sato, Lieutenant. Although my scans currently indicate that you were not exposed to the degree that she was, I still think it wouldn't hurt to be careful. I'm sure you'll appreciate my caution."
"Doctor, I have work to do in the armory. I don't have time to waste sitting around in my underwear while some phantom alien flatulance works its way out of my system. With all due respect, I'll forego decon and get back to work," said Reed.
"I believe we have had this discussion before, Lieutenant. In sickbay, I have final authority. In this case, it means decon," Doctor Phlox returned with a smile. "I'll see you two in one hour."
Sato looked at Reed, biting back a smile. He closed his eyes, shook his head and was thumping the bottom of his palm against his forehead.
"Never antagonize the good doctor, Hoshi. He'll make you regret it," Reed finally said, stripping off the EV suit with quick thrusts of his arms showing his irritation. He stalked into decon in his boxers, clearly in a bad mood.
Sato shook her head, removing her suit more slowly, thinking that an hour of Reed in a foul mood was not a good way to spend time. She supposed she should feel insulted that Reed would rather be in the armory than with her while she wore nothing but her underwear for an hour. That didn't improve her mood, either.
Sato walked into decon in her camisole and briefs noticing that Reed was on the bench with his back turned to the entrance. She hesitantly took a seat.
Silence, exactly what she wanted. Sato could hear the fan motor of the ventilation system in the room. There was something wrong in this silence, she thought as she looked at Reed.
Sato cleared her throat. "Lieutenant, how exactly did you antagonize Phlox?"
Reed released a sigh and turned his head her way. "I needed to define the parameters suitable for the force field. I wanted to directly expose the specimen we had, but Phlox insisted we use more time and collect the information through molecular analysis. I tried to pull rank on him, but he correctly insisted that the Captain has given him final authority with regard to sickbay."
Sato smiled as she imagined the confrontation. Reed always preferred quick, decisive action when faced with a threatening situation. He would have been grinding his teeth the entire time he waited for the analysis.
"Actually, the molecular analysis gave us more information that we could extrapolate to the larger entity. I guess it's just difficult for me to ask for help sometimes--or accept it when it's being offered."
"You know, I had the same experience with T'Pol. We wouldn't have figured out how to communicate with the creature if she hadn't applied her math skills to breaking the code. It took both of us working together to find the solution."
"I knew you could do it, Hoshi. I'm sorry I snapped at you, too, earlier. I didn't mean to imply a lack of confidence in you. You've really been quite creative in getting us out of tight situations. I just felt so pressured for time," said Malcolm, now turning his body to give his attention fully to Hoshi.
It was easy for Hoshi to believe this. "I understand, Malcolm. I knew you'd find a way to protect us in the cargo bay. I never gave that another thought once you were working on it. But, you seemed really bothered by this thing. Can you tell me why?"
"Isn't it enough that I let my Captain and the Chief Engineer be captured by it?" began Malcolm.
"Somehow I don't think that's all it was. You still seem bothered by it."
Malcolm looked away from Hoshi, trying to make up his mind about how much to tell her. She could be very easy to talk to when he was thinking of her as Ensign Sato, the Communications Officer. They had gotten to the point where they worked quite well together from their tactical and communication stations on the bridge.
When he was thinking of her as Hoshi, the beautiful woman, however, nothing came out quite right. He'd find himself eating quickly during mealtimes together, hoping that chewing on food would prevent something really stupid from escaping his mouth.
This had been the case just before the alien creature had captured the crew. He had sat in the mess hall with Travis and Hoshi discussing why their latest diplomatic effort had failed when Travis had brought up movie night. Hoshi had been in a disgruntled mood then and Travis had offered the foreign film as a distraction.
Malcolm had practically asked Hoshi out by suggesting they'd need a translator given how fast the subtitles would go. He could have shot himself out of an airlock as soon as the words came out, but luckily, Hoshi still insisted she just wanted to be alone. Malcolm had felt an odd mix of relief and disappointment. He decided to go to the movie anyway since Travis had promised explosions.
So now here they were, stuck in decon in their underwear, and Malcolm had to decide which Hoshi he was talking to. Too bad there was no food in decon. Of course, that had not helped in the mess hall, either.
"Look, forget I asked. I know you're a private person. I just thought that maybe talking about it would help. I know it helped me to get some things out with T'Pol when we were working on communicating with the creature."
"No, you're right," said Malcolm, making up his mind to think of Hoshi simply as a friend. "There is something bothering me. It's quite simple really. I hate snakes."
"You hate snakes? So do I, but how does--? Oh! The tentacles. Yes, they did look like snakes," Hoshi said in realization. "So that's what has you on edge?"
"When Captain Archer and Trip were attacked, I shot at the tentacles coming for them, but of course it did no good, it just slowed down the inevitable. But I swear, I stood there almost frozen. I have no idea why the creature didn't capture me as well. Trip told me to go and I left practically in a panic."
Hoshi nodded, finding it hard to imagine the Armory Officer running scared of anything. Then she realized he was revealing a weakness to her. She nodded her head in understanding.
"I barely had the presence of mind to seal the door. The thought of seeing the tentacle being severed still makes me shudder. When I went to test the capacity on the specimen we collected so that I could build the shield, I wasn't thinking about it being sentient at all. I was just thinking of it as a snake to kill."
"Is there some reason for this fear of snakes, Malcolm?" Hoshi asked quietly. He had already admitted his fear. There might be some value in finding out more about its source if she could get him to trust her.
Malcolm was silent for a while. He looked at the wall as he began saying, "There are times when I like to be alone. I've always been this way. Sometimes on this ship, there are too many people for me. So I get on my EV suit and just walk outside the hull of the ship. I give an excuse of checking the phase cannons, but I just need to be alone."
Hoshi nodded at him when he looked her way. "I like being alone, too. Sometimes I need to be somewhere really quiet, which is hard to find on this ship. I can't imagine walking outside the way you do, though."
Malcolm was thinking that she'd likely discount him as some misanthropic eccentric--which he probably was, come to think of it. But he'd gone this far. Might as well explain the rest of it.
"You should try it sometime. Anyway, I must have been around 8 years old. We were stationed in Malaysia and I just needed to be alone. So I went for a walk without telling anyone where to find me. Mum would often make me take Madeline, my sister, if she knew I was going out. And being a boy at that age, I certainly didn't want to be seen with my little 5 year old sister tagging along. I walked further than I had before, not realizing that Madeline had followed me. It had been raining, so the leaves on the ground were very slick. I only knew she was behind me when I heard her scream. She had fallen and slid into this pit."
"And the pit was full of snakes, I bet. They weren't poisonous, I take it," said Hoshi, calling forth the image of a little girl, wet and dirty, landing in a tangle of snakes.
"Luckily they weren't vipers or pythons, but we were just children so we didn't know it at the time. But it was a nesting place, so there were hundreds of them, all squirming around."
"I would have been screaming at the top of my lungs," said Hoshi
"Maddie was screaming and nearly in hysterics. I slid down to try to get her out and wound up straining my knee. So I landed flat on my back with the snakes piling up all around me, getting onto my face and hair. The snakes were small, so they were wiggling up into our clothes."
Hoshi couldn't prevent a shudder going through her body as Malcolm continued.
"There was Maddie still screaming and there I was trying hard not give in to my panic. I don't even know if I was yelling, too. I finally managed to shake enough of them off and grab Maddie. We couldn't get out very easily. I kept stepping on them and felt the slithering bodies under my feet."
"Did any adult help you? Didn't anyone hear your sister screaming?" asked Hoshi.
"No, no one helped us if they heard us," said Malcolm somewhat cryptically. "It took several minutes to get the snakes that had crawled up our clothes off of us. There were more on Maddie and I practically had to strip her to get rid of them all."
Hoshi rubbed her shoulders in response. She could almost feel the snakes slithering off.
"And Maddie's hair! Her beautiful blonde hair was such a mess. It made her cry because it was the one thing Father always complimented her on. I couldn't walk very fast and Maddie wouldn't let go of my hand, but we finally made it to the house. Madeline got a bath and I got punished for failing to take care of my little sister."
"That doesn't sound fair. I'm surprised you didn't resent Madeline," said Hoshi.
"Oh no, she was younger. She was my responsibility. It wasn't her fault I hadn't spotted her earlier. I could have prevented the whole thing if I hadn't been woolgathering as I wandered off to be alone. Besides, Maddie would always sneak something in to me when I got sent off without supper."
At this point, the voice of Phlox came over the comm. "Lieutenant Reed, I have reconsidered your case and will allow you to get out of decon now."
Malcolm rose to hit the comm button, looked at Hoshi and said, "That's all right, Doctor. I agree that one can't be too careful. I'll just stay here until we're both released."
"You didn't have to do that," said Hoshi, smiling at Malcolm as he came to sit down again.
"If you'd rather be alone--" he began.
"No, no I think I'd like the company just now," said Hoshi, patting the bench beside her to invite him to sit closer. "You know, I think Madeline is very lucky to have a big brother like you."
-----
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed was in his EV suit, standing outside on the hull of the Enterprise. He looked up at the endless stars while enjoying the sense of being alone in the vastness of space. Standing with her back to him facing outward in the opposite direction was Ensign Hoshi Sato, her eyes closed, enjoying the silence.
*****
Author Notes:
Occurs immediately after the team that released the creature of Vox Sola returns to Enterprise. Written May, 2002, posted at LD.
No reviews are necessary. Thanks for taking the time to read.
Author: ZenosParadox
Rating: PG
Summary: RS, friendship. Malcolm reveals a fear to Hoshi after Vox Sola in Season 1. Mild spoilers.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount. This fiction was written solely for personal enjoyment.
BEING ALONE
"When we released the creature on the planet, it in turn released a gas that could adversely affect human physiology. Denobulans and Vulcans are unaffected given that our blood is not based on hemoglobin." Phlox' cheery voice seemed delighted at the discovery.
"Although the EV suits minimized the exposure, it appears that Ensign Sato has been exposed sufficiently to warrant time in decontamination. An hour in decon should ensure the gas has cleared your system."
Sato grimaced. The tension of the last few days was catching up to her and she just wanted to go to her quarters to be alone in a quiet environment. Reed had a light smile on his face. He just wanted to get back to work and although he sympathized with the Ensign, he was happy not to share in her predicament--until the Doctor dictated otherwise.
"I believe you should join Ensign Sato, Lieutenant. Although my scans currently indicate that you were not exposed to the degree that she was, I still think it wouldn't hurt to be careful. I'm sure you'll appreciate my caution."
"Doctor, I have work to do in the armory. I don't have time to waste sitting around in my underwear while some phantom alien flatulance works its way out of my system. With all due respect, I'll forego decon and get back to work," said Reed.
"I believe we have had this discussion before, Lieutenant. In sickbay, I have final authority. In this case, it means decon," Doctor Phlox returned with a smile. "I'll see you two in one hour."
Sato looked at Reed, biting back a smile. He closed his eyes, shook his head and was thumping the bottom of his palm against his forehead.
"Never antagonize the good doctor, Hoshi. He'll make you regret it," Reed finally said, stripping off the EV suit with quick thrusts of his arms showing his irritation. He stalked into decon in his boxers, clearly in a bad mood.
Sato shook her head, removing her suit more slowly, thinking that an hour of Reed in a foul mood was not a good way to spend time. She supposed she should feel insulted that Reed would rather be in the armory than with her while she wore nothing but her underwear for an hour. That didn't improve her mood, either.
Sato walked into decon in her camisole and briefs noticing that Reed was on the bench with his back turned to the entrance. She hesitantly took a seat.
Silence, exactly what she wanted. Sato could hear the fan motor of the ventilation system in the room. There was something wrong in this silence, she thought as she looked at Reed.
Sato cleared her throat. "Lieutenant, how exactly did you antagonize Phlox?"
Reed released a sigh and turned his head her way. "I needed to define the parameters suitable for the force field. I wanted to directly expose the specimen we had, but Phlox insisted we use more time and collect the information through molecular analysis. I tried to pull rank on him, but he correctly insisted that the Captain has given him final authority with regard to sickbay."
Sato smiled as she imagined the confrontation. Reed always preferred quick, decisive action when faced with a threatening situation. He would have been grinding his teeth the entire time he waited for the analysis.
"Actually, the molecular analysis gave us more information that we could extrapolate to the larger entity. I guess it's just difficult for me to ask for help sometimes--or accept it when it's being offered."
"You know, I had the same experience with T'Pol. We wouldn't have figured out how to communicate with the creature if she hadn't applied her math skills to breaking the code. It took both of us working together to find the solution."
"I knew you could do it, Hoshi. I'm sorry I snapped at you, too, earlier. I didn't mean to imply a lack of confidence in you. You've really been quite creative in getting us out of tight situations. I just felt so pressured for time," said Malcolm, now turning his body to give his attention fully to Hoshi.
It was easy for Hoshi to believe this. "I understand, Malcolm. I knew you'd find a way to protect us in the cargo bay. I never gave that another thought once you were working on it. But, you seemed really bothered by this thing. Can you tell me why?"
"Isn't it enough that I let my Captain and the Chief Engineer be captured by it?" began Malcolm.
"Somehow I don't think that's all it was. You still seem bothered by it."
Malcolm looked away from Hoshi, trying to make up his mind about how much to tell her. She could be very easy to talk to when he was thinking of her as Ensign Sato, the Communications Officer. They had gotten to the point where they worked quite well together from their tactical and communication stations on the bridge.
When he was thinking of her as Hoshi, the beautiful woman, however, nothing came out quite right. He'd find himself eating quickly during mealtimes together, hoping that chewing on food would prevent something really stupid from escaping his mouth.
This had been the case just before the alien creature had captured the crew. He had sat in the mess hall with Travis and Hoshi discussing why their latest diplomatic effort had failed when Travis had brought up movie night. Hoshi had been in a disgruntled mood then and Travis had offered the foreign film as a distraction.
Malcolm had practically asked Hoshi out by suggesting they'd need a translator given how fast the subtitles would go. He could have shot himself out of an airlock as soon as the words came out, but luckily, Hoshi still insisted she just wanted to be alone. Malcolm had felt an odd mix of relief and disappointment. He decided to go to the movie anyway since Travis had promised explosions.
So now here they were, stuck in decon in their underwear, and Malcolm had to decide which Hoshi he was talking to. Too bad there was no food in decon. Of course, that had not helped in the mess hall, either.
"Look, forget I asked. I know you're a private person. I just thought that maybe talking about it would help. I know it helped me to get some things out with T'Pol when we were working on communicating with the creature."
"No, you're right," said Malcolm, making up his mind to think of Hoshi simply as a friend. "There is something bothering me. It's quite simple really. I hate snakes."
"You hate snakes? So do I, but how does--? Oh! The tentacles. Yes, they did look like snakes," Hoshi said in realization. "So that's what has you on edge?"
"When Captain Archer and Trip were attacked, I shot at the tentacles coming for them, but of course it did no good, it just slowed down the inevitable. But I swear, I stood there almost frozen. I have no idea why the creature didn't capture me as well. Trip told me to go and I left practically in a panic."
Hoshi nodded, finding it hard to imagine the Armory Officer running scared of anything. Then she realized he was revealing a weakness to her. She nodded her head in understanding.
"I barely had the presence of mind to seal the door. The thought of seeing the tentacle being severed still makes me shudder. When I went to test the capacity on the specimen we collected so that I could build the shield, I wasn't thinking about it being sentient at all. I was just thinking of it as a snake to kill."
"Is there some reason for this fear of snakes, Malcolm?" Hoshi asked quietly. He had already admitted his fear. There might be some value in finding out more about its source if she could get him to trust her.
Malcolm was silent for a while. He looked at the wall as he began saying, "There are times when I like to be alone. I've always been this way. Sometimes on this ship, there are too many people for me. So I get on my EV suit and just walk outside the hull of the ship. I give an excuse of checking the phase cannons, but I just need to be alone."
Hoshi nodded at him when he looked her way. "I like being alone, too. Sometimes I need to be somewhere really quiet, which is hard to find on this ship. I can't imagine walking outside the way you do, though."
Malcolm was thinking that she'd likely discount him as some misanthropic eccentric--which he probably was, come to think of it. But he'd gone this far. Might as well explain the rest of it.
"You should try it sometime. Anyway, I must have been around 8 years old. We were stationed in Malaysia and I just needed to be alone. So I went for a walk without telling anyone where to find me. Mum would often make me take Madeline, my sister, if she knew I was going out. And being a boy at that age, I certainly didn't want to be seen with my little 5 year old sister tagging along. I walked further than I had before, not realizing that Madeline had followed me. It had been raining, so the leaves on the ground were very slick. I only knew she was behind me when I heard her scream. She had fallen and slid into this pit."
"And the pit was full of snakes, I bet. They weren't poisonous, I take it," said Hoshi, calling forth the image of a little girl, wet and dirty, landing in a tangle of snakes.
"Luckily they weren't vipers or pythons, but we were just children so we didn't know it at the time. But it was a nesting place, so there were hundreds of them, all squirming around."
"I would have been screaming at the top of my lungs," said Hoshi
"Maddie was screaming and nearly in hysterics. I slid down to try to get her out and wound up straining my knee. So I landed flat on my back with the snakes piling up all around me, getting onto my face and hair. The snakes were small, so they were wiggling up into our clothes."
Hoshi couldn't prevent a shudder going through her body as Malcolm continued.
"There was Maddie still screaming and there I was trying hard not give in to my panic. I don't even know if I was yelling, too. I finally managed to shake enough of them off and grab Maddie. We couldn't get out very easily. I kept stepping on them and felt the slithering bodies under my feet."
"Did any adult help you? Didn't anyone hear your sister screaming?" asked Hoshi.
"No, no one helped us if they heard us," said Malcolm somewhat cryptically. "It took several minutes to get the snakes that had crawled up our clothes off of us. There were more on Maddie and I practically had to strip her to get rid of them all."
Hoshi rubbed her shoulders in response. She could almost feel the snakes slithering off.
"And Maddie's hair! Her beautiful blonde hair was such a mess. It made her cry because it was the one thing Father always complimented her on. I couldn't walk very fast and Maddie wouldn't let go of my hand, but we finally made it to the house. Madeline got a bath and I got punished for failing to take care of my little sister."
"That doesn't sound fair. I'm surprised you didn't resent Madeline," said Hoshi.
"Oh no, she was younger. She was my responsibility. It wasn't her fault I hadn't spotted her earlier. I could have prevented the whole thing if I hadn't been woolgathering as I wandered off to be alone. Besides, Maddie would always sneak something in to me when I got sent off without supper."
At this point, the voice of Phlox came over the comm. "Lieutenant Reed, I have reconsidered your case and will allow you to get out of decon now."
Malcolm rose to hit the comm button, looked at Hoshi and said, "That's all right, Doctor. I agree that one can't be too careful. I'll just stay here until we're both released."
"You didn't have to do that," said Hoshi, smiling at Malcolm as he came to sit down again.
"If you'd rather be alone--" he began.
"No, no I think I'd like the company just now," said Hoshi, patting the bench beside her to invite him to sit closer. "You know, I think Madeline is very lucky to have a big brother like you."
-----
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed was in his EV suit, standing outside on the hull of the Enterprise. He looked up at the endless stars while enjoying the sense of being alone in the vastness of space. Standing with her back to him facing outward in the opposite direction was Ensign Hoshi Sato, her eyes closed, enjoying the silence.
*****
Author Notes:
Occurs immediately after the team that released the creature of Vox Sola returns to Enterprise. Written May, 2002, posted at LD.
No reviews are necessary. Thanks for taking the time to read.