Originally a one-shot, but sprouted wings when I wasn't paying attention :P I don't want to give anything away, so if you must have a summary, scroll to the bottom :)

I don't own Hetalia or anything else referenced in this fanfic~

North Italy (the happy one)= Feliciano

South Italy (the pissed one)=Romano

That's just how I keep them straight, so please bear with me! If it corrodes at the center of your very being to see 1 human name amongst all the other countries names, let me know and I will change it ^^

Ven...Vi... what is it again?

"Dude, I'm totally gonna ask him." America snickered to Canada in the conference room. The countries had just finished a meeting when America had called his brother over and whispered something in his ear.

"What? B-but America…" Canada looked around uneasily. "That's… I mean…"

"What?"

"How would you feel if someone asked you that…?"

America knocked his brother on the head. "Geez Canada, you're too polite. You should totally just not care for a day and punch someone in the throat. Hey, that's not a bad idea! Where's Britain?"

Canada's eyes widened. "No! I don't want any trouble…"

"C'mon, take action for once! That's why no one knows who ya are." America huffed. "If you were man enough to nuke Britain, everyone'd know who Canada was."

Canada, alarmed, looked at his brother. "T-that's beside the point. Besides, when did we go from a punch to completely bombing out a country?"

"Since my new fighter jet looks like a freakin SHARK we did!"

Shaking his head, Canada continued. "Please stop changing the subject."

"So… about my plan?"

Canada bit his lip nervously. "Romano would murder you. He'd loose it completely; you know he would!"

"Duh, that's why it'd be fun." America laughed loudly, ignoring the stares he was receiving from the other countries in the room. "Not the killing part, that'd suck balls. But the rest sounds great!"

"America…what if he is?"

Ignoring his brother, America stood up from his seat and walked over to Romano. "Heeeey Romano! I've got a question."

Romano looked up from his conversation with his brother Feliciano and Greece. He seemed more than a little pissed off at the interruption. "Make it quick."

Canada closed his eyes and sighed.

"Are you gay, or just European?"

"…YOU DEEP FRIED BASTARD!" Romano jumped the blonde nation and began pounding every inch of his body he could reach.

Feliciano tentatively waved his hand, vying for his older brothers attention. "Romano, don't you think you're over-reacting a bit?"

Romano ignored his brother and continued beating the tar out of America, who had tears streaming down his face he was laughing so hard.

"Bahahaha this was so totally worth it!"

"Suck my dick you hamburger man!"

Greece arched an eyebrow thoughfully. "Does that not that seem a bit…contradictory…as to what you're attacking him for?"

Romano paused and blushed tomato red. He glared up at Greece. "Shut up feta freak!" He shoved America to the ground,"Dammit! I'm going home!" Romano stormed out of the room.

"I told you…" Canada mumbled softly. No one seemed to have heard him.

Greece looked a bit stunned. "I'm a freak…?"

"Man," America stared at the door Romano had fled out of. "That dude needs to come out of the closet."

Feliciano pouted. "America, Romano is sensitive about things like that! You shouldn't tease him!"

"Aww, c'mon." America grinned. "I'm helping him accept his inner-gayness!" Bro-like, he put an arm around Feliciano. "In the end, this'll all be better for him! He won't have to worry about hiding it anymore!"

"Well…" I didn't think of it like that before! I guess you are doing my brother a good deed!"

"Ya see?" America grinned, ruffling Feliciano's hair. "So... I guess that means I'm the hero again!"

Canada frowned deeply. "No, you aren't. All you did was make Romano uncomfortable…"

Tapping his head smartly, America grinned. "Yeah I did... for now. It's all part of my mega cool plan- operation get Romano to admit he's gay as a rainbow and save him from years of secrecy! You'll see, it'll all work out in the end, especially with what I've got planned!" He paused, and furrowed his eyebrows. "Although I think I might need a bit of back-up for this one…"

"We don't even know if he is gay!" Canada almost yelled, exasparated.

America smirked. "We won't have to worry about that after stage 1."

"THERE'S STAGES!"

It was Legally Blonde! :O Alfred watched the sing-a-long version if anyone's interested.

I hope you liked it! Please reviwe so I know whether to continue or delete. If anyone has any ideas for America's top secret homosexual inducing plot, please pm me :) Cuz I've got nothing... Any pairings you'd maybe like too, you can leave in the comments ^^ unless it's insanely cracky and hilarious, then pm me again as to not spoil the plot for others.