A/N: It's Hidans' birthday so this is a fanfic for him! Yay! I've been waiting to write this for two months! I saved it for Hidan-samas' special day! Woot! Happy April 2 everyone! Remember to pray to Jashin-sama after this!
Warning: Contains hints of adult material, slight KakuHi, cussing, fighting, and a crazy fan boy! :3
Disclaimer: How many time do I have to say Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. Body Buddy belongs to Rauhreif. The crazy fan boy is actually me(what I'm going to look like) :3. Costco belongs to someone. Palm Springs belongs to someone. Sharpie belongs to someone.
Pizza is pie!
Two of the least favorited Akatsuki members, by a douche bag voting, were walking throughout the aisles of Costco. Lucky for them most of the people in Palm Springs were old so they didn't watch Naruto. So they didn't get mauled over or raped. Although there were a few kids in Costco, mostly from home schooling after all it was 11:00 am on a Friday. There were a few incidents though. Like one 13-year-old boy with black hair, magenta streaks, and green eyes was drooling when he saw the two of them. Both Hidan and Kakuzu were a little confused and freaked out by the boys reaction, but what the boy did next was worse. He grabbed his Akatsuki backpack, pulled out a Doujinshi and a sharpie.
He went up to them, handed them the Doujinshi and the sharpie, and asked, "Will you please sign my Body Buddy?"
After looking through the first few pages of the Doujinshi, Hidan was foaming at the mouth and Kakuzu looked like he was going to die. Although in the end the two Akatsuki members never got to sign the Doujinshi because the boy got dragged off by this mother. It sounded like he was getting murdered the way he was screaming but really it was the sound of a fan boy being ripped away from his favorite Yaoi couple. Currently both Hidan and Kakuzu were trying to forget the "incident" with the fan boy. In their basket was an assortment of cheeses, meats, breads, fruits, and vegetables. It had been their turn to go shopping for food for the month and to pick out dinner for the night. Finally they got to the refrigerated area where the pizzas were. They picked out 3 cheese pizzas, 2 three meat pizzas, and 3 supreme pizzas. As Hidan stared at the pizza box he had picked up, his little brain worked up a question.
"Why doesn't the box say Pizza Pie and why isn't it near the other pies," Hidan asked his taller partner.
Kakuzu sighed and said, "because Hidan, pizza is not a pie." Hidan looked like he had been hit with a smelly dead fish.
An astonished Hidan replied with, "yes it is! It's always been pie."
"Hidan, are you fucking retarded? No, pizza is not a pie," Kakuzu said, getting pissed and stopping the cart.
"Uh huh! It so fucking is a fucking pie! Pizzas are fucking pies, you dumbshits," Hidan said, also getting extremely pissed off.
This time Kakuzu faced him and snarled, "if anyone is a dumbshits its YOU. Pizza is NOT a pie. Understand? NOT a pie. It's nothing like a pie."
"Oh yes it fucking is, Kakuzu-baka," Hidan snapped back.
"Oh tell me wise Hidan," Kakuzu said sarcastically and mockingly, "how is a pizza like a pie? Hmm?"
Hidan's face grew red from anger and Hidan yelled, "It is a pie! They both have crusts and they both are shaped a like! How can you not see that, you stupid motherfucking cocksucker?"
"I am NOT a cocksucker! The shape of them has nothing to do if they are a like or not! It's the matter of ingredients! Pies have hard biscuit-like crusts and pizzas have soft bread-like crusts! Not to mention pies don't have cheese and meat in them! Pizzas aren't always in a circular shape either," Kakuzu yelled back, very furious.
"Oh yeah, bitch-face! What about Sheppard's pie? That's got meat in them," Hidan yelled equally as loud with a smirk, proud of his come back.
"Sure it has meat but it doesn't have cheese! Your so stupid," Kakuzu screamed, now wishing he had gone to the store alone.
"Well saying pizza isn't pie is like saying," Hidan paused for a moment to think, "you're a money-hating, greed-less, kind-hearted, romantic, rainbow-fantastic, gay-ass, uke-ish slut!"
Kakuzu straightened out his cloak (after all now everyone was staring at him and his partner fight) and said, "Your right Hidan. Pizza is a pie because I'm certainly not a money-hating, greed-less, kind-hearted, romantic, rainbow-fantastic, gay-ass, uke-ish slut. I am a money-loving, greedy, cold-hearted, non-romantic, rainbow-hating, regular gay, seme."
Then Kakuzu quickly turned around and started pushing the cart again. Hidan smiled because for once he WON an argument!
"But now you have to pay for your pies," Kakuzu said, wiping the smile off of Hidan's face. Well everything has to come with a price, Hidan thought. Kakuzu and Hidan hurried with their shopping because now it was 3:03 and NOONE likes hungry Akatsuki members.
After Note: Heh, sorry Hidan. But at least you won an argument! But now you have to pay for the pizzas L. Oh well lol!