Hi all!

I am so excited to be posting this - I am torn between making this a one-shot and continuing it, so please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, although I'd love it if Derek Wills showed up in my room and told me I was a star... Le sigh!

The incessant ringing of her cell phone woke up Karen Cartwright, who had been in the middle of a rather pleasant dream. Refusing to admit defeat, Karen kept her eyes closed as she stretched her arm out to her bedside table, where she fumbled around until she found her iPhone.

"Hello?" Karen fought to sound as though she were awake, although she rather doubted she pulled it off.

"Hey Karen!" came Jessica's perky voice.

"Jessica, it's-" Karen decided she'd rather keep her eyes closed, "-my day off. Why are you calling so early?"

"Aw, did we have a rough night celebrating?"

Karen groaned. "I hate you."

"You love me, Iowa."

Karen stretched luxuriously before saying, "You know, when you've won a Tony, I'm pretty sure no one's allowed to call you Iowa anymore."

Jessica laughed. "Alright Miss-I've-got-a-Tony, I was calling because I ran into an old friend of mine and he's been hired to be a part of the workshop for Hit List."

Karen jolted upright. "What?"

"Oh yeah," Jessica bragged, knowing that she had Karen's attention now, "Turns out Jimmy finally swallowed his pride and the boys have one tight book. Could be amazing."

Karen fought to say something coherent. "Wow, that sounds great."

"Are you going to go for it?"

"Maybe. I gotta go – I'll call you later, kay?" Karen barely waited to hear Jessica say goodbye before she hung up.

Karen slowly lay back down on her bed. Was she interested in being a part of Hit List? Absolutely. With Kyle and especially Jimmy? Not so much.

Jimmy had written and scored some of the best songs she'd heard, but his attitude had been a major problem. Derek – the Derek Wills – had even given them a chance, but Jimmy's refusal to take constructive criticism, even though it had been badly needed, had frustrated Derek too much. Considering Derek's healthy – some would say overblown – ego, it wasn't a surprise he gave up on the two. Thankfully for Karen, Jerry had seen what an unmitigated disaster Bombshell would be without Derek, and with her help, had managed to convince Derek to return to Bombshell, which had been faltering under Tom's unqualified hands. Tom, a brilliant composer, was certainly not a director, and although it took him a while to acknowledge it – Tom in fact bitterly fought with Derek every step of the way, at times frustrating Derek enough that they might have actually come to blows had she, Eileen and Julia not run interference between the two – he did eventually concede that Derek knew what he was doing and could be trusted with his and Julia's "baby". In fact, after hearing Derek's rant at the premiere of Liaisons, Tom and Julia actually sat down and changed Bombshell so that the best parts of Julia's brilliant book made their way into the musical. In the end, no one – not even Jerry – could deny that the end result was a truly remarkable show. Jerry had still argued against many of the changes, but the creative team – plus Eileen – had stuck to their guns, and their multiple Tony wins and still-running show only cemented the fact that they had been right to do so.

What galled Karen though was the fact that Jimmy had expected her to give up her chance to be on Broadway after a few weeks' acquaintance with him. They were barely friends – she thought him ridiculously talented and good-looking, but she hadn't known him long enough for… anything, really. Yes, Karen believed in Hit List, but she didn't see why she had to give up her dream just to satisfy a tortured artist's temper tantrum. It was mindboggling. That Derek thought she should leave Bombshell and join him, she sort of understood; Karen, in fact, had been flattered that Derek had thought her talented enough to want her in yet another musical he was directing, and believed in her enough that he thought she'd get to Broadway even without Bombshell. And honestly, Derek was the Derek Wills – he had over a decade of experience and the bona fides to back him, and even after the bad press over his womanizing ways, no one could deny that he knew what he was doing. Plus, he had been the only one who had believed she could play Marilyn Monroe, the only one who had fought for her and trusted her. For that alone Karen understood why he had hoped she might join him and quit Bombshell when he did. Karen trusted Derek, trusted the vision and opinions of the man who had ultimately helped her become the next Broadway star. But some guy she had had a crush on? Who was completely rude, arrogant, and entitled – and didn't yet have the clout to act that way and be able to get away with it? Karen may at times be called a pushover or naïve, but even she hadn't been willing to stand there and let her life and her choices be criticized and mocked by someone who had no idea what he was talking about. And so once Derek returned to Bombshell, Karen had wished Kyle luck and let the acquaintance lapse. It ultimately hadn't been that hard; they weren't friends and anyway, she soon became too busy with Bombshell to do much else.

And then there had been Derek.

Everyone – from Eileen, Tom and Julia to even Josh, Derek's assistant choreographer – thought she and Derek were sleeping together. No matter how many times in however many different ways she said otherwise, they didn't believe her. Neither did the press, for that matter. If Karen was being honest, even she had no idea what they were. She remembered all the little moments she and Derek had shared, as well as the more blatant ones that might have become something if they'd allowed it – the comment about knowing love, the almost kiss, or when he compared himself to Bob Fosse and she to Gwen Verdon. The implication in his words had made her blush, and she still thought of the moment with a pleased smile. But nothing ever happened. Karen knew only too well that Derek's reputation as a womanizer was well deserved. He had after all slept with both Ivy and Rebecca, and she knew from his own lips that he'd also dated (or rather slept with) every good-looking leading actress he'd directed, none of which was ever serious. Derek Wills wasn't the type of guy to have a relationship with, and Karen was very much the type of girl who only went for relationships. So no matter how much she liked Derek and enjoyed his company, she never allowed herself to go past the harmless flirtation stage, and Derek in turn never made a move.

Before she could even think about it, Karen was reaching for her phone again and dialing Derek.

"Karen, you're calling rather early for your day off. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine. I just heard that Hit List might finally be coming to Broadway."

She heard Derek scoff. "Yes, I did hear something about that. Don't worry about it, darling – they're just doing a workshop, and unless they've made drastic changes, it's highly unlikely to get anywhere, and certainly not to Broadway. Off-Broadway, maybe, and even that's a stretch."

Karen shook her head. "It has been nearly two years…"

She could hear Derek shift on his couch. "Are you thinking of joining Hit List?"

Karen bit her lip. "I'm not sure. Maybe?"

Karen heard Derek moving around. "I have a meeting with the producers of The Wiz, but I should be done by lunch. I'll meet you at Bond 45 and we can discuss more there, alright?"

"Thanks Derek."

"It's what I'm here for," Derek said fondly, before hanging up.

Karen smiled briefly before flicking the covers off. She was too distracted to sleep anyway, and she might as well start getting ready. A long bath sounded real good to Karen right then.

"Sorry I'm late, darling," Derek said as he approached the table Karen was sat at, and gave her cheeks a brief kiss. "The producers were all but groveling and I just couldn't bring myself to leave."

Karen rolled her eyes. "So did you say yes then?"

"I said maybe. It's not like I lack for projects, and they did dare to fire me. Besides, I'd imagine you're happy that I haven't accepted yet – you do want me to direct Hit List, do you not?"

Karen looked at Derek with a start. "I don't even know if I want to do it."

"Yes you do," he declared. "You're just afraid of their reaction when they hear you're interested."

Karen looked down at her glass of water. "What if they don't want me?"

Derek put down the menu. "You aren't serious?"

"What?" she said defensively.

"Darling," Derek replied with exasperation, "You're Karen Cartwright. There's no way they wouldn't want you, and if they don't, then they're even more idiotic than I gave them credit for and there's no way I would ever link my name to something that is sure to be an unmitigated disaster."

Karen shot him a thankful smile, but turned back to something else that was worrying her. "It's not just Hit List. I like playing Marilyn and the sense of accomplishment I get whenever the audience gives me a standing ovation at the end. It's my first leading role in a Broadway musical and won me my very first Tony and-"

Derek stilled her fidgeting hands with his own. "Listen darling, you loved Hit List. I still remember – very fondly-" Derek added when Karen shot him a look, "-how much you bothered me about it. If it's as good as we both hope it is, then it deserves to be premiered on Broadway for everyone to see – something we can make happen. As for your unfounded fears that you're abandoning the show... I highly doubt Eileen, Tom and Julia will be surprised when you don't renew your contract. And you, Karen Cartwright, are a brilliant actress and singer, and a genuine star, and will remain so, whether or not you continue to play Marilyn Monroe."

Karen looked at Derek with a small, pleased grin when he somehow managed to ease all of her worries. "What would I do without you?"

Derek gave her fingers a soft kiss. "That, darling, is something you'll never have to find out."

Karen just knew she was blushing. She inwardly shook her head and focused on the matter at hand. "But what about you? Whatever happened to "not enough money in the world" to go through the "torture" of working with "undeserving and ungrateful child" who "completely wasted" your "incredibly valuable time"?"

"So you don't want me? To direct, that is?" he said with a smirk.

"Stop fishing for complements," Karen snarked back. "You know you're a great director and that I can't imagine working without you."

Derek caressed her hand before releasing it to grab the menu again. "Darling, the feeling is entirely mutual. Now, shall we order?"

Perhaps it was cowardly of her, but Karen didn't speak to either Kyle or Jimmy; she instead told her agent to let them know that she might be interested in joining Hit List. It was both an ego thing – she didn't think she should have to go and beg for the title role – and pride, because Karen didn't think she'd been in the wrong at all to choose Bombshell over Hit List. Karen didn't want to listen to Jimmy berate her or whatever else he might do.

What did surprise her was the almost immediate yes she received. Karen had thought, despite everything that she would bring to their production – not the least of which was Derek Wills as the director – that Jimmy would have said no, or at least dragged his heels a little more. Perhaps he had grown up – Karen could only hope that was true.

Karen was waiting impatiently for Derek to arrive so that they could look at the book for Hit List – Derek had made her promise to wait until he came over – when her cell phone rang.

Wondering why Dennis was calling her, Karen answered. "What's up, Dennis?"

"It's Jessica," Jessica said, tacking on, "No, I still don't know where my phone is. That's not important. Are you near a computer?"

Karen frowned. "Why? What happened?"

She could practically hear Bobby roll his eyes when he snatched the phone from Jessica and spoke up. "Look at Page Six and tell me that you're still not sleeping with Derek Wills."

Karen groaned. "Really guys? This again?"

Jessica snatched the phone back from Bobby. "We're serious, Karen. Look at the photos and tell me, honestly, that there's nothing going on between you two."

Karen's curiosity got the better of her. She reached for her laptop and opened up a browser to look at Page Six. She had to admit the photos did look incriminating. There were several shots; in one, they were leaning towards each other, and due to the angle at which the photo was taken, they looked as though they were about to kiss. Another was of Derek kissing her hands, and Karen was looking down and smiling… but the most damning one was where they were standing outside the restaurant, she to go back to her apartment and he to another meeting, and he was kissing her forehead. The Karen in that photo obviously hated parting from Derek, and longed to stay exactly where she was, if only to continue to be in his company. The expression on her face was one she hadn't seen in ages, but recognized from old photos she had of Dev and her.

Karen didn't know how long she sat there, staring at the last photo, but a sudden knock at her door brought her back to the present.

"-KAREN?" was coming from her phone. Clearly Jessica had been trying to get her attention for a while.

Karen hurriedly closed her laptop. "Sorry, gotta go. I'll call you later!" she said as she opened the door to let Derek into her apartment.

Derek merely kissed the top of her head in greeting before heading over to the bar he'd gifted her with as a housewarming present and withdrew his bottle of scotch. When he noticed she'd hung up her call, he asked, "So where is the book?"

"In the living room."

Clearly Derek heard something in her voice, for he poured her a glass of scotch as well and brought it over.

"What's wrong?"

Karen accepted the glass containing the amber liquid. "Nothing's wrong, just… gossip, you know how it is."

"Ah yes, what would this town do without the gossip and the drama?" Derek said dryly, before heading towards her couch. "Are you coming?"

Karen looked at her closed laptop before nodding. "Yeah," she said as brightly as she could, before sitting down beside him.

Derek paused. "You know darling, it's alright if the book doesn't meet our expectations. No book is perfect on its first read through – it's why we take so long to get to Broadway. We'll just work on it until it is as perfect as we can make it, okay?"

Karen mustered up a smile. "I know."

She forced herself to only take a sip of scotch when Derek kissed the side of her head. Outwardly she looked calm, but inside she was panicking. Exactly when had she fallen in love with Derek Wills? And just what was she going to do about it?

The St. James was packed for Karen Cartwright's final performance in Bombshell as Marilyn Monroe. When she had announced her intentions to leave the show, no one had been surprised, especially when word got around that she was going to be starring in Hit List, a musical she had previously been linked to. Nor were they surprised by the news that Derek Wills was directing it, since Karen had long been called his muse. What did shock everyone was just how much more amazing Karen's performances had been lately, and that was saying something, since she'd won a Tony handily because of her already striking portrayal of Marilyn. Most people assumed she was trying to leave her mark, making it a tough act for her replacement to follow, but those who knew her best knew there was more to it than that. Still, they couldn't deny that whatever was fueling her was working; she was better than she had ever been.

Jerry Rand was beside himself, not wanting to let her go; although the figures quoted in the papers were higher than what he'd offered Karen in reality, it was still a very substantial sum. And he wasn't the only one who was offering Karen great opportunities. Karen was inundated with offers for roles in television, other potential Broadway shows, music albums and even a movie or two. And Karen was flattered and excited, and she'd be lying if she said she wasn't seriously considering a few of the offers. But thanks to the revelation that she was in love with Derek, she knew she wouldn't accept any. Karen couldn't disappoint Derek again, and despite knowing it might be better to just leave and cut ties with him until she got over him – because Karen was realistic enough to know that a relationship with Derek – assuming it would even happen – wouldn't be a long-term thing, and she wasn't about to get into a relationship with someone if forever wasn't even a possibility – she couldn't do it. She couldn't leave him, even if all she got in return was friendship and occasional flirtation.

"I'm pathetic, right?" she asked Jessica as they were getting ready to go on stage.

Surprisingly it was Bobby who answered, with not a trace of mockery or sarcasm. "Karen, being in love doesn't make you pathetic. It makes you human and lovable, like the rest of us."

Karen hugged him tightly, before letting go when Linda called her over. "Thanks Bobby."

"Break a leg," he replied with a wink.

Waving and smiling at the rest of the cast, Karen headed over to Linda. "What is it?"

Linda pointed towards where Derek was standing. "He wants to see you."

Nodding in thanks, Karen headed over. "Any last minute notes?"

Derek shook his head. "You don't need any, but you knew that."

Karen shrugged. "I just thought, it's my last performance-"

Derek drew her in close. When he leaned forward, Karen almost thought he was going to kiss her, but instead he pulled back slightly and leaned his forehead against hers.

"You make me better in every way."

With that, he let her go and headed towards his seat, where he and Bombshell's creative team would be watching tonight, leaving behind a dazed Karen. She was still standing there, looking at where Derek had been standing minutes earlier, until Linda forcibly called her to attention. Shaking her head and breathing in deep to settle her nerves – Rebecca had been right; even after hundreds of performances, she still felt her heart in her throat – Karen moved into position.

Art may not be therapy, but if there was one thing Karen learned while exploiting all of her personal experiences for the sake of theatre, it was that you can't just sit back and expect everything to fall into your lap; you have to go and reach for your dreams and grab onto it with everything you've got. This time, she wasn't about to let Derek's obscure comment go. She had no idea where it would lead and what the consequences might be, but she had to believe that whatever they'll have will be worth it, for however long it lasts. After all, life is short – shouldn't she enjoy every minute of it while she can?

Besides, even if it were to all fall apart tomorrow, she'll always have this – this moment, when one chapter of an unbelievable ride of her life is about to end and another is about to begin, when possibilities are endless and love within reach, and as a bonus, she had thousands of adoring fans waiting to see her play Marilyn one last time.

It couldn't get any better than this.

Well, maybe a kiss from a handsome British director.