Written for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (Challenges & Assignments)
Assignment #5
Astronomy 8. Neptune - write about somebody staying under the radar
Roald Dahl Event
17. High fat room - Write about Dudley Dursley.
Showtime
Act 2.11 The Adams Administration: (word) Reputation
Dudley Dursley and the Year He Became a Man
31st July 1997
Dudley crushed himself up against the window so that only the very smallest amount of him was touching the excitable Diggle man. Once proper introductions were over, the car ride away from Private Drive had been silent, apart from Dad's occasional disgruntled mutterings and Diggle's exclamations over how wonderful Dad's driving was. It was damn disturbing to think that a man of his age couldn't even drive.
Then, Dudley remembered how some red headed terror-twins had appeared in their living room a couple years back. They'd arrived through the fireplace and poisoned him. And, he thought about how Harry had a strange broom he never used for sweeping, and realised with vague bewilderment that it was quite likely that wizards might not even use cars at all.
Freaky.
"Pull over here," Hestia said, and hid a yawn behind one delicate hand. She was quite pretty, Dudley supposed, for a witch, with blue eyes and long brown hair that curled slightly at the ends.
"But there's nothing around for miles!" Dad exclaimed.
Hestia turned bored eyes upon him. "Obviously. That's the point."
Dad spluttered, but pulled over anyway.
"It's nearly time!" Diggle's watch squawked as they got out of the car, and everyone but he jumped. Instead, Diggle laughed nervously, and tapped his magic wand on the car boot several times. Nothing happened. Dudley eyed it warily, and took a step back.
"How do you unlock this thing?" Diggle muttered as Mum stared at him in horror for daring to have attempted magic in her presence. Eventually, Dudley opened the boot, as neither of his parents seemed inclined to, frozen where they stood. "Oh - amazing!"
Diggle flicked his wand, and every item they'd packed away flew up into the air and floated out in an orderly procession. Dudley stared. This was the first piece of actual magic he'd ever seen, other than that time monsters had tried to take his soul, and he'd not been paying Harry much attention then.
"My reputation..." Dad groaned, eyeing the magic with horror. Dudley actually found it somewhat impressive, but didn't dare say.
"Reducio." Their luggage shrank and shrank, until it became small enough for Diggle to place in his pocket, which was exactly what he did.
"Now see here!" Dad blustered. "We don't want any of that funny stuff happening around us."
Hestia turned to face Dad, and stared at him. "Tough," she said, and rolled her eyes.
It was so deadpan, and ridiculous, that Dudley couldn't take it anymore. He snorted with laughter, and then chuckled at Dad's outraged face. They were being hidden away by wizards, to save them from other, evil wizards, and this was what Dad objected to. Eventually, he calmed, and Hestia turned and winked at him. He grit his teeth to hide an unwelcome blush, and tentatively smiled back.
All his parent's lives had been spent trying to avoid Harry's magic, and now they'd agreed to be protected by adult wizards who didn't give a damn about his parent's feelings on the subject, and seemed to worship Harry, judging by their conversation prior to leaving Privet Drive. Dudley only hoped his Dad's heart could take the strain.
The car was locked up, then Hestia tapped it with her wand. It shimmered, then disappeared.
"It's just invisible," she informed them, preempting Dad's anger. "Now, Mrs Dursley, Dudley, take my hand. Diggle – you take Mr Dursley."
"Ten!" Diggle's watch announced with glee.
Dudley exchanged a wide-eyed look with his Mum, who pursed her lips in distaste.
"Nine!" Mum reluctantly placed her hand in Hestia's and Dudley followed suit. She felt just the same as any other sort of normal girl would, her hands soft and warm.
"Eight! Seven!"
"What is this nonsense?" Dad exclaimed, moustache quivering.
Hestia narrowed her eyes. "Stun him if he won't come quietly," she said to Diggle, who giggled nervously, but withdrew his wand.
"Six! Five!"
"It's wizarding transport. Nothing to worry about, it'll be over in no time," Diggle said, hoping from one foot to the other.
"Four! Three! Two!" Dad grabbled Diggle's arm just as his wand raised.
"One!"
Dudley felt as if his organs were being squeezed inside out. His ribs were crushing him and he was spinning and spinning and suddenly he fell to the ground with a thud, and promptly threw up.
"What the bloody hell was that?" Dad yelled, in a similar position on the floor. Dudley groaned, and wiped at his mouth.
"No time to waste!" Diggle informed them, and procured a ragged scarf. "Everyone touch the scarf." Dudley staggered to his feet, helped his Mum up, and clasped the scarf, ignoring the argument his Dad was having with Diggle. There was a sudden tug about his waist, and he was thrown through the air, bright lights flashing past him as he free fell. Once more he collapsed to the ground, and he just lay there for a moment, breathing in the fresh air.
"We're here," Hestia said. She'd landed on her feet, and was eyeing them with disdain. Dudley glared at her. "Come along now."
She led them down a winding path to what looked like rundown shack. Then, the moment they walked through the gate, the shack transformed into a perfectly normal cottage, with wisteria winding over the porch and even a white picket fence lining the land.
"Oh my," Mum said, covering her mouth with her hand, gaze flitting about. The door opened without a key, and they entered to explore it.
The cottage had four bedrooms, two bathrooms, an old-fashioned kitchen, and a lounge without a TV. Nothing else but field and forest could be seen for miles, even when Dudley looked out the highest window. He searched as his Mum unpacked, but couldn't find any sign of electricity or mains sockets. Even the lights, he realised, were gas lamps and candles.
"I can't find any plugs," Dudley said to Hestia, who was unpacking food in the kitchen.
"Ah yes, the elephantricity!" Diggle said. Dudley gaped, and wondered what he'd gotten himself into.
"Don't have any. Wouldn't work anyway, not under wards like these," Hestia said. Dudley staggered out of the kitchen and collapsed onto a sofa. No electricity meant no TV, no computer, no Gameboy, no phone!
What the hell was he going to do?
Word count: 1055