Embark on an epic tale of friendship, trial, betrayal, and the ultimate burger making as young teenagers try to find their way in the world through hot chips, and ice-cream sundaes.
Ultimate crack!
Genryuusai Yamamoto prided himself on many things: one was that his beard was by far the most impressive of anyone in the entire city. The other was the freshest and most protein filled fast food in all of Karakura. As the Head Manager of his family-run fast food business, The Food Society, that was his motto: "The Freshest and Healthiest Fast Food". He thought it would be enough to satisfy the people of the city, it had for the past 100 years, with the 13 main shops based around Karakura. But nooooo, three of those shops had had a serious setback in development, their managers had defected and created their own fast food company: Lost Nachos "You won't find Nachos, or Fast Food better than this". It burned in his soul, the fact that branch had the least-fresh and utterly fatty and most likely toxin-filled food, and yet it tasted delicious, and they were starting to get more customers. He could not understand it!
With a gruff sigh he tapped his walking stick on the wooden floor of the meeting room and looked at the remaining 10 managers sitting around the long table, his bald, wrinkled face serious.
"As you all know, we have experienced a major setback, with Aizen, Ichimaru and Tosen defecting their coveted roles as managers of shops 3, 5 and 10. They have set up their own Fast Food branch, Lost Nachos," at this word he ground his teeth, "And already have 10 shops up around the city, many of them straight across from our own stores, and, although it pains me to say it, have been selling their burgers, chips, and Nachos at a steady rate that could overtake our own sales."
"They've got a better sales campaign Old-Man Yama" stated, Jushiro Ukitake manager of store 13.
"And they're allowed to decorate their shops with an unlimited budget," added Shunsui Kyoraku, manager 8. "I went into their first shop the other day, and that guy really knows how to decorate! It was wolf themed, and the fur-covered seats were so comfortable I could have slept on them, which I did."
The manager of store 2 glared at him, "You weren't supposed to buy anything in there Kyoraku!"
"Oh I didn't," he assured her. "I just slept, and their manager came out and joined me! Great guy!" he sighed wistfully. "Course, my deputy wasn't too happy, neither was his," he rubbed his heck ruefully.
Yamamoto banged his stick on the table and sat down, "We have more important things to discuss than decorative layouts."
"Actually sir," began manager of shop 10, Toshiro Hitsuguya. "I for once have to agree with Kyoraku-"
"I'm flattered."
"-And I think that we really need to upgrade our interior, and even exterior design. My deputy wanted to rearrange the place and get a more attractive sign but we couldn't because of the regulations."
"I've had people mention how drab it is," added Sajin Komamura.
"Silence!" ordered Yamamoto. "We need funds for design-"
"And we need design for funds," intersected Retsu Unohana.
"Exactly! Besides, I think they look fine."
Even Kenpachi Zaraki, manager of store 11, gave him a withering look.
"They're plain white with an orange roof, and the insides are just white," stated Byakuya Kuchiki. "I could at least add some pink on the sofas."
"They're fine!" the Head Manager insisted. "What we really need is someone who can infiltrate Lost Nachos and get some case where they use toxins to make people secretly love the food."
Everyone stared at him.
"Or we could make our food taste better and increase decoration?" he added on an afterthought.
Everyone nodded.
Yamamoto sighed and tapped his stick thoughtfully, creating a hole in the shining wooden floor. It was hard to think with all those eyes staring at him. Oh stuff it!
"I'm going with the infiltrator plan!" he concluded, much to his employees sighs. "We just need to find someone bold of heart and cunning of head to do it…"
"IIIIICCCHHHIIIGGGOOOO!" cried Isshin Kurosaki, leaning across the car seat and slapping his only son.
"ARGH! What the hell was that for?" the orange-headed Ichigo yelled back, swerving the car, much to loud honking.
"Look, it's a Food Society!" the older, but immature, man said excitedly, pointing to the big white building with the orange pagoda roof.
"Yeah can we go pleeease?" asked his little sister Yuzu, tugging her brother's arm. "I really want to get the last collectable Chappy rabbit for my collection!"
He sighed and looked at it, "But we just passed it."
"Never fear!" exclaimed Isshin. And without further ado, he grabbed the steering-wheel and swerved the car around, narrowly avoiding a STOP sign and a few other cars, then hopped onto the curb, swept up the EXIT driveway and came to a hard stop at a parking space.
"ARE YOU COMPLETELY MAD!" yelled Ichigo, his face bright red as he recovered his stomach. "WE COULD HAVE DIED!"
"But we didn't!" said Isshin, jumping out of the car with Yuzu and her twin Karin, both who looked completely unfased.
Grumbling, Ichigo got out of the car and followed them up to the Fast Food shop. Upon entering, he found it completely empty apart from two workers in the corner.
"It's so dull in here," complained Karin. "These places never look very good, Lost Nachos is so much better."
"DON'T SAY THAT!" exclaimed their father.
"Oh here we go."
"These people work very hard, and the food is fresh and tasty, nothing artificial about it!" he danced up to the counter and leaned against it, winking at the petite, black-haired, violet-eyed girl behind it. "How ya doin'?"
Karin kicked her foot into his head and pushed him to the ground, "Don't be an idiot!"
Ichigo rolled his eyes and stepped over his father to the counter and looking up at the girl. His eyes widened slightly as he took her in, she was very pretty.
She smirked, "Can I help you, sir?"
"Umm yeah," he turned around to where his sisters were analysing the menu. "What do you guys want?"
"I'll have a Soul Burger Meal with a Coke," volunteered his father from the floor.
"Yeah one of those and a Hollow Beef Burger Meal with Coke for me," he told her.
She nodded and tapped it in, then turned around to yell the order to someone behind.
"Umm I'll have a Soccer Meal and Soda," stated Karin, pointing to the soccer-shaped chicken burger picture.
"Don't you want to get a Children's Meal though?" asked Yuzu. "You get a toy and everything!"
"No I don't want something so childish!"
"Oh."
"Karin don't be so mean to my baby Yuzu," chided Isshin, jumping up.
"OK guys continue this later," interrupted Ichigo. "You want the Children's Meal then Yuzu?"
"Yeah! With the Chicken Nuggets, or…wait…do I want the salad burger?"
"Just make up your mind Yuzu!" he complained as the first three orders were brought to the counter by an afro-headed man.
"OK OK I want the nuggets, oh with the Chappy toy!"
The girl smiled, "You like the Chappy collectibles too, which one?"
"The Shinigami one, it's the last I need to complete the set!"
She nodded and went to the corner to take out the toy and give the order. After a moment she came back, smiling.
"You're very lucky, this is the last one," Yuzu squealed excitedly, taking the black-robed Chappy toy. "That'll be $25 thanks."
"OK – wait what? 25!" asked Ichigo incredulously.
"Yeah, an extra 5 for the limited edition Chappy."
"I thought they were free with the Children's Meal?"
"This is a very good Chappy toy!" she insisted.
He sighed and turned to his father, "Well at least I'm not paying for it, gimme the cash!"
Isshin blushed and ducked his head, "Aah I don't have any money."
"WHAT?"
"Well I spent it all on the groceries and this happy monkey toy," he grinned, holding the plastic monkey that was tapping a pair of cymbals together.
Ichigo facepalmed and pulled out his wallet, rifling through it he managed to scrounge his last $20. Handing it to the counter girl he turned to Yuzu.
"Sorry Yuzu, I can't afford the toy thing, you can get it another time."
Her eyes filled up with tears as she gazed at the toy, "B-but it's a limited edition, it ends tomorrow, and this is the last one! And Lilynette is always going on about having the whole set!"
"Oh Yuzu!" exclaimed Isshin, running to hug is now sobbing daughter while Karin rolled her eyes. "How could you be so heartless Ichigo? I'll give up my meal for you my baby girl!"
Ichigo sighed and turned back to the counter girl, "Can we return the Soul Burger Meal?"
She turned around and yelled to the back, "Hey Mr Afro, can we return the Soul Burger Meal?"
"NO!" he yelled back. "Once they bought it they can't return it, and it's Zennosuke Kurumadani to you!"
She rolled her eyes and turned to look at his regretfully, "Sorry, can't take back any of the meals."
Yuzu was positively wailing now as Isshin tried to comfort her, all the while throwing murderous looks to Ichigo who was now thoroughly angry.
"Can I reimburse you later?" he muttered to her.
She shook her head regretfully, then her eyes lit up, "There is something you can do!"
"WHAT?" cried the family.
"Well we're running a little short on employees," she looked around the empty room ruefully; the workers had left after Yuzu's outburst. "So if you start working for us, I'll give you those meals and the Chappy for free!"
Ichigo glared at her, "What are my hours?"
"9-5 Monday's Wednesday's, Saturday's, as it's holidays, $20 an hour."
He grumbled, turning around to stare at Yuzu and Isshin who were gazing at him with puppy-dog eyes and Karin who had started to eat her meal.
"Fine!" he exclaimed, putting the money back in his pocket and turning to glare at his father and sister who were jumping up and down with joy. "You two owe me big for this!" he turned back to the girl, "Thanks."
She grinned at him, "No problem."
"So what do I have to do?"
"Here," she said, handing him a plastic knife. "Stick this into your arm, it's part of an initiation ceremony."
He frowned at her, taking in her perfectly serious look. Shrugging, he thrust the knife into his arm, which actually kind of hurt, and handed the slightly bloodied knife back.
"Keep it," she said with a disgusted expression.
"Thanks," he muttered, putting it in his pocket, glaring at his family who were happily indulging themselves on their burgers, nuggets and chips.
"Come in at 8:30 tomorrow," she told him. "I'll set you up then. What's your name by the way?"
"Oh Ichigo, Ichigo Kurosaki."
She nodded and penned it down, "I'm Rukia, Rukia Kuchiki."
"Nice to meet you, and thanks again," he pointed his thumb towards his family. "If it weren't for you I'd be stuck with my dad and sister crying for the rest of the week."
She grinned, "Well a good thing I saved you from it, here's your meal, see you tomorrow."
He nodded, grabbed the packet of food and walked out of the shop, yelling at his family "Come on, we're not staying here!" and they walked out, much to the loud protests and general bickering of the dysfunctional, and slightly wacko family.
And that my friends, is the product of boredom and too much McDonalds! Do you think this is worth continuing? I'd like to persue it further if I can! Now may the fries be with you!