A/N
Hiya all! I know it's been awhile, buuuut Bart just snuck up on me and was like "Write me a fic or else," and this was the result! Enjoy!
Summary: There's a reason Bart Allen was always moving, doing something-it kept him from falling asleep. Didn't necessarily keep the nightmares away...
Based on my 24 hours challenge experience (which was partly stupidity on my part and some odd urge to read fanfiction all night; basically, I pulled an all nighter, it sucked, and I came up with this idea). Why Bart? Because all day I felt the unnecessary need to chatter at top speed, devour ungodly amounts of food, and pass out on my desk. (With a side of unwanted paranoia).
Disclaimer: No YJ or Bart Allen for me...
Insomnia
Bart's hand was turning blue by the time he finally jolted up in his bed, fingers twitching from the vice like grip the speedsters teeth had on them as he tried not to scream. His green eyes were wide and frantic and scared and horrified, but the darkness actually...made him feel at home, if only for a moment. Like Neutron was on the other side of a dark cavern they'd chosen that night to sleep in, because it was a great hiding place from the ever searching Reach watch lights. The man would be pacing and scowling at the flaking sky, protecting Bart and taking care of Bart (the man had been the crashest second dad-ish like figure/friend ever)!
But then his alarm would ring, or the comm would go off or Megan would invite herself into his head, and he was flippant Impulse, legs moving faster than his brain like a newborn calf.
But that dream...it haunted Bart often, which wasn't surprising, but the speedster wasn't weak-he wouldn't have survived the Reach thus far had it been so. He could survive a petty nightmare.
But without Neutron, without his truest crashest bestest friend in the whole world, he felt lonely, like a sheep in the midst of a lions cave (as the situation called for). Really, the only way to deal with all these unclaimed...memories...was to make them go away. Bart was smart, he could do that.
The REM cycle only started at a certain point in your sleeping pattern, so if Bart could avoid that moment...
And honestly, what were a few lost hours of sleep? He was fairly sure Batman and Robin-or any of the Batclan, really-had seen worse. Two hours and maximum food had Impulse up and ready for action! If only for not the side effects.
People didn't like it when he was sarcastic or talked a lot, so he tried to stay quiet or chatter to the point that they would ignore him.
That always worked. Why would you look for something that was already there? They never saw the crazed look in his eyes when something triggered a particular mode-un-crash-as-possible memory, and the certainly never slowed down enough to know the real Bart Allen, the one who wasn't a twisted facade or a demonic child-the one dying and crying and whimpering but holding on because-they-would-get-him-out-they-always-did (and wasn't it ironic that they were the ones going too fast? Odd how his gift loved to mess with him).
That paranoid feeling of people laughing at him behind his back? He tried to ignore it, but that aching feeling in his chest wouldn't go away (he really wanted to rest).
Bart sped into the kitchen and flung the fridge open with trembling, red gloved hands, frantically searching while trying to look calm (he couldn't go to sleep, not now! But his eyes were just so heavy nowadays, maybe a few minutes wouldn't-)
Food, food, and more food stacked in his arms. Food was good, didn't laugh at him, didn't berate him when he messed up. It just sank happily into his stomach like a fly in honey, refueling his ever-draining energy.
Lunch. That was always fun. His friends were worried. 'Are you ok?' 'How are you holding up Bart?' The speedster bit back a grimace, choosing instead to grin that aweful-atrocious-absolutely-not-crash fake smile. Time to play, the wheel of Bart! What horrific disaster should he cause today?-Bart mused in his head-take a spin and find out!
...the lack of sleep might have been effecting him more than expected.
Blinking, Bart noticed hazily that his vision was going fuzzy, a slow blackness rolling from the corner of his eyes. Seated at the table as he was in a debriefing, he couldn't well get up and start running to wake himself up. Gritting his teeth (that had worked at first, but now he was just wearing down the already damaged broken-down-to-the-point-that-was-like-bad-and-mode-and-stuff teeth), he anxiously thought of every technique Jamie had taught him on how to stay awake in class.
Uh, think about something potentially embarrassing. Bart snorted to himself and crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair with a creak that attracted a few curious look. Ya, already embarrassed, not gonna help. Uh? Pinch his arm? Using the edges of his fingernails, Bart dug into his arm. Hard.
He yelped, inadvertently causing the Team to stare at him again. Sheepishly, he ducked his head. He would have to-Bart hesitated, knowing those annoyed glares would be staring at him in moments, again, but began tapping his leather-clad foot away at super speed anyways (the small jolts did wake him up a little, thankfully), the resulting clanging grating on everyone's ears. Blue Beetle, at least, had the decency to ignore it, but Batgirl's murderous glare did a number on Bart's withering feelings.
He bit his lip and tried for a grin.
She huffed angrily and rolled her eyes, fists banging on the table louder than necessary as she turned her attention back to Nightwing. Flinching, Bart looked down at the steel table, absently noting the way the streaks of silver had little waves in them. His eyes traced the lines as they twirled and danced, eyelids drooping at the mesmerizing display.
Before he was even aware of it, Impulse's body shut down, trying to pull him into this half-lulled sleep. Unfortunately, it hadn't considered the location or consequences. Everyone at the table jumped as Impulse's head thudded against the table, brown locks flopping down in defeat behind their owner. Bart jolted upright almost instantly, falling backwards and sliding off the slippery plastic chair (usually it didn't matter, but his instincts were...off) landing on the concrete floor of the debriefing room with a crash.
Dimly, Bart noticed the absolute silence and stillness of the room as his shivering pale arms covered-in-the-coolest-uniform-ever-that-was-way-too-cold tried to pull their half-delirious owner to his feet.
Bart stood up and bowed, waving his hand like the queen of England.
He was in the middle of this ordered chaos, the center of the very reality he'd helped create. Bright streamers hanging from the ceiling, music pumping through the Cave as Team and Leaguer alike partied (the Reach was gone, wasn't that good? They were still beating the bad guys, wasn't that crash?). The younger members were at the edges of the crowd, but Bart had ended smack. Dab. In the center.
Bright multicolored lights shone down in his face like those retro ones police used to try and intimidate their victim. Bart wove seamlessly through the hustling bodies, barely giving his sweat-soaked hair a second thought, his uniform seamlessly in place (just like every other hero there).
It should have been like he was a part of it all, like he actually belonged here. But Bart felt like he might as well have not been there at all.
Sure, people glanced at him out of the corner of their eyes, but they were leading their dance partners around his (dangerously) still form.
Who was he kidding? He was an insomniac; a traumatized kid from a parallel future he'd prevented by traveling back in time to destroy his own timeline. He would never, ever belong in such a place at this.
Eyes wide, Bart backed away, boots scuffing against the gritty ground and he turned, sprinting out of the hall without a single thought. The heroes didn't even feel him as he phased through their motionless bodies, didn't notice as he phased through the Cave wall, as he ran and sprinted and yelled and screamed and stumbled away from this reality that was, in many ways, much worse than his old one.
A/N
...ya. That ending was a lot more depressing than I thought it would end up. Want more? Tell me and I'll think up another chapter! Or something...
I finally put the finishing touches on this tonight (after having it taunting me in docs for 2 weeks)! Sorry for not updating, well, anything this past like half-month, marching band's been insane! I am working on chapters for all my stories though, so they'll hopefully be up soon!
But seriously! Do try to get some sleep in, otherwise school the next day sucks. A lot. (I speak from experience...multiple times. Reading fanfiction all night may seem appealing at first, but you will absolutely 100% regret it the next day. When you fall asleep in class, for example...multiple times...)
And do your homework! Let's all pass this year together :}
Reviews=Input!
Kisses!
Alyss