Custodian
Jim was babbling on about something, his mouth running a mile a minute, yellow uniform shirt slightly bunched up, and hands gesturing crazily as Leonard McCoy shuffled around his mostly empty Sickbay. "And then, Bones, I swear to god, this armada of Klingons just appeared out of nowhere…" He continued to trail on and on, unaware of his friend's blatant detachment. Leonard, in a sour attempt not to hurt the poor saps feelings, grunted or said the occasional 'wow'. Honestly, Jim was making his already itching skin crawl. Irritation fluttered and buzzed through his stomach and tingled in the tips of his fingers. He was here, at 2300 hours, and still awake, for some reason, with only about one nurse, Nurse Caitlyn, was still hanging around for the nightshift. M'Benga was off lurking somewhere in the dark recesses of Sickbay, the only patient –who had a longer than usual bloody nose and disconcerting iron count- had been released from Sickbay at about 1500 hours. Leonard had really hung around for the past several hours so he could record in his log, with lying, that he stayed at Sickbay until the official end of his shift.
"So Spock was like 'and that is highly illogical', and Chekov said something about Russian girls, and Uhura said that I really should put the apple down and focus…" Jim laughed at his own statement and Leonard offered a dry, get-the-hint-please chuckle. Jim didn't get the hint. Unsurprisingly. Leonard grabbed his small bag that had his PADD in it off of the biobed and headed for the doors, Jim trailing behind still telling his Bridge story. It was then that Nurse Caitlyn decided to intersect his path, an apologetic smile on her face.
"What?" Leonard snapped tiredly, noticing that Jim didn't even falter although he seemed to become increasingly aware that he was only talking to himself and thin air.
"Doctor, I have to go down to the Botany Lab and take a quick note of the Tufo Plant we discovered on Talos 4. The liquid it's secreting could be beneficial for cures to future epidemics." She explained, voice hushed and rushed.
"Yes, Nurse, I'm aware of your studies on the Tufo" –Leonard snorted- "Plant. I don't need a back story. What is it?"
"Well, Doctor, I really need to take those notes at specific times and this happens to be one of those times, but someone needs to be present at Sickbay at all times, and the biobeds still need to be washed down, hypos restocked, shelves washed, floors cleaned and such. Doctor, if it wouldn't be much trouble could you…?" She glanced at him hopefully, but Leonard only glared, really against where this was going.
"Clean up the Sickbay? Do a nurse's job? Well, why the hell not? I do everyone else's job around here anyway, why not add one more? Sure, go have fun down in your lab, give Sulu my regards, and let me clean this up. Go on! Not that I'm going to ask just what the fuck you've been doing for the past two hours, because it doesn't really matter, now does it Ms. Caitlyn?" Leonard snapped, face pooling with blood. Caitlyn reeled after his outburst, cheeks flushing a violent scarlet.
"Thank-you sir. I haven't found time…to clean up I mean. I was filing down Ensign Conner's Sickbay visit. Low iron count and all." She swallowed heavily, Jim continued chatting, oblivious, and Leonard scowled at the both of them, eyes hurting from being held open for so long.
"Go, Nurse." He shooed her away and watched as she didn't need to be told twice. She scurried away, doors swishing shut. "Can't fucking believe it. I do everything –everything Jim!- around here and I have to be not just the doctor and nurse but the janitor too."
"Calm down Bones. So, you have to wash down a few beds and clean the floors. No biggy." Jim gave a crooked smile as his story seemed to wrap up prematurely. Leonard turned his heated, but weary, gaze on his more vibrant younger friend and captain.
"No 'biggy' eh? Here then," Leonard thrust the cleaning chemicals off of the shelves as Jim who struggled to hold them all in his folded arms. "You clean up. I have food to replicate." He grumbled the last part and stalked away, leaving a very much shocked Jim in his wake.
"But Bones, I'm the Captain!" He called after the old, Georgian doctor. Leonard only smirked.
"Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a custodian!" With that he whisked himself out of the Sickbay, chuckled to himself at the shocked look plastered pricelessly to Jim's face, blond hair askew, and went to his quarters. Exhaustion clung to his bones and joints, causing him to forego interests in replicator food in favor of changing into Starfleet issue sleep wear and crawling under the red blanket.