* I Was Always There * By Natalie

DISCLAIMER: Heero, Relena and the rest of the Gundam Wing cast DO NOT belong to me! They belong to TV Asahi.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is just a little sidestory (break) from my series "The Pendelum Swings". I won't give a long detailed summary but this is in Relena's POV and IS on Heero. It's Kinda Angsty but gets a sweet ending OK? Hope you Enjoy! ~ Natalie

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I was Always There
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It is dusk now as I look out from my window. One by one the stars peep through what seems like a velvet blanket thrown over the Earth.

It's a pretty sight.

I don't often get the chance to appreciate things like this anymore. Being a Foreign Minister has both it's perks and downsides. My name is Relena Darlian-Peacecraft. But I guess you'd know that at a glance. Everybody knows me... Sometimes I don't want it that way.

I think about my past and all the adventure I had been through and sigh. I was no more than a little girl when all this responsibility was thrust towards me. I couldn't refuse. Many would think about what on Earth happened to the little rich girl who went to parties and balls enchanting everyone with a simple nod and smile. What happened to the girl who dreamt of her special knight in shining armor?

I guess she grew up.

I am too old and weary for that kind of thing now. No more adventure for this 25 year old. On to the real world. And what of love? I'd say that I had enough but that would not be the truth. I, like many other girls dreamt of her own knight or prince--whatever. I dreamt of mine. What I got however, was a very different version. Love is wierd. It has it's own sense of humor.

I still remember the first time I saw him. He had a mop of unruly brown hair and piercing prussian eyes. I chased him then, with my naive ideas of love. I would go to the ends of the universe and back for him. Now I laugh. My Brother had set me up with all those horrible counts, dukes etc. but I couldn't forget him. I never will.

Silly Relena...

I used to think that he loved me. Maybe it was just my over active imagination when he pulled me close at Libra.

I don't have to think about that anymore.

Last year, I was invited to a wedding. It was Heero's. I never cried. I understood. The chapter finnaly closed on that part of my life.

Or so I thought...

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"Relena! Come quick! Heero is Dying!" came Duo's voice. He was the stoic pilot's best friend. I had never seen him like this. His cheery smile was replaced by a frantic expression.

"Where is he?" 'Do you think I CARE??'came a small voice in my head.

"At the apartment... we can't get in.." He replied unaware of my inner turmoil.

I numbly rushed to the apartment. I tried the door. It was locked.

"Heero...It's me Relena...open the door please?" my voice cracked.

'C'mon Rel, he deserves it! He never saw what was in front of him the whole time!'

I leaned on the door and heard it open. I stepped inside and saw a slumped figure on the floor.

Heero.

I approached him slowly and turned him to face me. What I saw shocked me. He no longer had the firey determination I once saw in his eyes. Now they were dull and almost lifeless.

'This is what you wished for'

I took in his feverish state and put him into his bed. I wondered for a second where his wife was and looked at him. He seemed to be a lifeless shell of the person I knew. His night table was filled with various pills: antidepressants, tranquilizers I had lost count. He was in a state of apoplexy. I would later know that his body was degenerating at an impossible pace. His years of training and the abuse that his body took would kill an ordinary person. Only now were the effects of being the perfect soldier taking it's toll.

He seemed beaten to the core and the only light that had kept him alive extinguished. Heero looked like the picture of utter despair that no one-- even me could give an expression of apathy. IT was as if he never noticed me in the room. I stood up to get to the door, to call his wife. After all she was the one who was supposed to be here not me. Or had she given up on him like almost everyone else-- like me? I vaguely noticed his grip on my hand tighten as I tried to remove his hand from mine. It's frailness nearly moved me to tears.

"Don't go..... she's gone....." came his whisper.

"Whha--what?" I was amazed that I could even talk.

"She left. I--I didn't mean to...I thought I could forget. Forget you. I tried loving her-- maybe I did. But I would always see your smile and face everywhere. I couldn't escape. You drove me crazy Relena. Where were you all this time?" His prussian blue eyes bore into mine.

How could I tell him??? How could I tell him that I loved him soo much and that I still do?? I couldn't believe the irony of it all..

I sighed softly.

"I was there Heero, I was always there waiting for you... but... when you got married, I stopped. I thought I would begin my life anew but I guess somehow, something inside me was always there waiting."

I felt his hand brush away tears that had unknowingly slipped through my closed eyelids just like those many years ago. I was afraid to open my eyes. I was afraid that I would wake up and I'd find out that it was all a dream. Afraid that I might wake up and find him dead.

"Aishiteru Relena."

My eyes flew open at those two words and I saw the smile that I had longed for. He was smiling. Heero Yuy the perfect soldier was smiling.

*****END*****