[It`s a beautiful morning and the birds are singing. But then suddenly a gun fires and the birds die]
Soifon: Ha! Got `em again. Such a wonderful day.
Yoruichi: I`ll say. Nothing bothering you?
Soifon: Nope. Just turn into your normal form. I don`t really see the point of you being in catform anymore. Everyone knows that you`re human too.
Yoruichi: Alright then (starts transforming)
Soifon: (starts to blush) WAIT! I always end up freaking out when you appear naked. Here, wear this. I always got one just in case you do that. (gives her some clothes)
Yoruichi: Gee thanks. (transforms) Well what do you know, it fits me perfectly.
Soifon: Yeah-yeah let`s go.
Soifon lays on the couch, reading the hottest Yaoi magazine ever and starts drooling]
Rangiku: (walks in) Hi girlies. Oooooooh YAOI! Gimme that! (snatches it and reads and also starts drooling as any other Yaoi fan)
Yoruichi: You girls and your Yaoi. I`ll go get Rukia. Be right back.
[A few seconds later Rukia runs and grabs the Yaoi and reads]
Rukia: (sighs) Glad I came on time.
[Byakuya`s walking by the girls hangout room]
Byakuya: What the..What is this, Yaoi paradise?
Soifon: No, you dork. We are huge Yaoi lovers. If there was a Yaoi Paradise we wouldn`t be here right, now would we?
Byakuya: Hm..that`s true. (yells) Hisana, guess what the girls are reading again.
Hisana: YAOI!
[Hisana runs in, kicking Byakuya out of the way and reads Yaoi]
Rukia: Wow that`s a new record.
[Unohana`s walking by with old man`s dirty clothes]
Unohana: Stupid lazy grandpa.
Soifon: Hey Uno. What`s up with you?
Unohana: What do you think. First I need to give old man his stupid discussting spongebath. Then wash his dirty clothes and feed him three times a day. What am I, a maid?
Soifon: Sure looks like it. Just tell him you had enough and let him take care of himself until he drops dead. Easy.
Rangiku: Yeah. I mean, you got nothing to lose.
Unohana: You`re right. (walks out)
[Later at the girls locker room]
[Rangiku comes out of the shower]
Rangiku: What a great shower that was.
Yoruichi: I`ll say.
[Neliel walks out of the shower, wearing towels]
Neliel: What a relaxing hot shower.
[Meanwhile, outside the girl`s locker room]
Renji: (whispers) Awesome. You brought the camera Grimm?
Grimmjow: (whispers) Of course. (hands it over to Renji)
Chad: (whispers) Guys, I still think this is a bad idea.
Ichigo: (whispers) Oh, come on Chad. Haven`t you ever done something wild and naughty in your pefetic excuse for a life?
Chad: (whispers) Uh...no.
Renji: (whispers) Well now is your chance. (starts filming the girls changing their clothes) Awesome.
Rukia: I feel like we`re being watched...
Soifon: (looks around) Hm..me too. I`ll be right back.
Grimmjow: (whispers) This is soo awesome guys.
Chad: (whispers) I still think we shouldn`t do this.
Ichigo: (whispers) Man, you`re a wimp.
Soifon: Oh, is he now?
[All the guys jump up very fast and scream]
Guys: SOIFON!
Renji: Wha-what are you doing here?
Soifon: That`s funny `cause I was about to ask you the same thing! Girls get over here!
[They all appear]
Rangiku: I knew it had to be those clowns again.
Yoruichi: Again? You mean it`s not the first time they`ve been spying on us? Oh, it`s time to put some ugly scratches on your pretty little faces!
Ichigo: Oh, so you think we`re pretty?
Yoruichi: Not after I`m done putting those scratches on your faces.
Soifon: WAIT. Chad is innocent. Let him go.
Chad: Gee, thanks. I`ll be back in a bit.
Ichigo: Hey where the heck do you think your going!
Chad: First I`ll go get some popcorns and then a chair.
Grimmjow: Why in the world do you need a chair right now?
Chad: To sit and watch how violently you guys get tortured to death, of course. I wouldn`t miss that for the world. Haha. (goes to make popcorn)
Rukia: Okay, time to kick some perverted ass! (jumps on Renji`s back and grabs hold of his neck) Gotcha!
[Soifon throws an atomic bomb in Ichigo`s mouth]
[BOOM]
[Ichigo flies up in the air, burning]
Soifon: Haha! Torture always makes you happy, I always say.
[Neliel chokes Grimmjow and throws him in the wall]
Neliel: You feeling lucky? Well do ya, punk!
[Yoruichi hangs them upside down from a tree]
[Rangiku burries them alive]
Rangiku: May they rest in peace.
Rukia: Woohoo. Again the girls rule and the boys..well...we`ll just stick with that for now.
Soifon: Girl power. (high fives)
[Chad comes back with popcorn and a chair]
Chad: Hey, where`d they go?
Yoruichi: Aww. Sorry you missed the ass kicking. But I`m feeling hungry right now.
Neliel: Let`s go eat some popcorn!
Rangiku: And drink lots and lots of red wine while reading hot Yaoi magazines!
[Everyone stares at her]
[Crickets sound]
Soifon: Yeah! Good idea!
[They all go back to Soul Society]
[Meanwhile, the boys get out of the ground like zombies]
Renji: Oh, it`s on now!
Grimmjow: Those fucking bitches will pay! If they want a war, we`ll give it to `em.
Ichigo: To war!
[They`re on their way to Soul Society for revenge]
To Be Continued...