A/N: So you guys don't think that I'm depressed or want to kill someone on the cast, I created this fanfiction. Lots of songs in here. To avoid a long paragraph, I did not write any of them. If you want to know a song, you can PM me. I do not own Fairly Oddparents, either. And then you get to the part about "Hush, little Baby" I do not own that, Tim Hawkins does. Nor, do I even own myself, for that matter. My parents brought me into this world, and they can take me out… Any ways, here you go!
Timmy was jumping on his bed. It was late at night. His parents were already sleeping, but Timmy asked Cosmo and Wanda to sound proof the room.
"Timmy, don't you think you should get to bed?" Wanda asked. Timmy stopped jumping.
"But I'm not even tired," he said "I'm just bored."
"Yeah, there's not a lot to do at midnight," Cosmo said. Timmy sat on his bed and started rocking back and forth humming.
"I have a song stuck in my head, and I can't get it out!" Timmy said.
"Well, maybe if you sang it to us it would help," Wanda said.
Timmy smiled and shook his head. "I don't think you'll like it."
"Timmy, we went through over ten thousand years of music, try us," Cosmo said.
"Well, okkay, but I need a drum and a horn," Timmy said. A drum and a horn poofed in front of him. He started beating a rhythm on the drum. Cosmo and Wanda bounced to the rhythm.
"There was an old farmer who lived on a rock," Timmy said. "He sat in the meadow just shaking his…fist," Timmy said. The godparents stopped bouncing and stared at Timmy in shock. "at some boys who were down by the 'crick', their feet in the water, their hands on their…marbles," Timmy said. Cosmo burst out laughing, which caused Timmy to smile. "and play things and at half past four, there came a young lady she looked like a… pretty young preacher," Cosmo buried his face and his hands. You could hear him trying to catch his breath. Wanda was staring at both boys dumbfounded. "She sat on the grass. She pulled up her dress and she showed them her…ruffles and laces," Cosmo floated to the ground unable to catch his breath. "and white, fluffy duck. She said she was learning a new way to…bring up her children so they would not spit. While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling…refuse and litter," now Wanda started laughing. Her face turned red and she put her face in her hands. "from yesterday's hunt while the girl in the meadow was rubbing her…eyes," Timmy didn't exactly get that one, but both godparents broke out into a new batch of laughter. "at some fellow down by the dock. He looked like a man with a sizable…home in the country with a big fence out front. If he asked her politely she'd show him her…little pet dog who was subject to fits. And maybe she'll let him grab hold of her…small, tender hands with a movement so quick, and then she'd bend over and suck on his…candy so tasty made of butterscotch. And then he'd spread whip cream all over her…cookies that she had left out on the shelf," Timmy looked at his godparents who were rolling on the floor in hysterics. He smiled and grabbed the horn. "If you think this is dirty you can go…" then he honked the horn "…yourself."
That made the godparents laugh harder. Timmy shook his head. "Dirty minds, you two, especially Cosmo," he said.
Cosmo looked up at Timmy and tried to catch his breath. "Wh…where did you learn that?" he choked out.
"Internet," Timmy responded.
Wanda rolled her eyes. "Figures."
Cosmo caught his breath and turned to Timmy. "But seriously, you need to go to bed." Cosmo said. He picked up Timmy and they floated up to the ceiling. Cosmo started rocking him. "Rock a bye baby in the tree tops. When the wind blows the cradle will rock." He then rocked Timmy obnoxiously. Timmy started laughing. "When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall." Cosmo pretended to drop Timmy. He let him fall a couple feet and then caught him. Timmy started laughing hysterically. Cosmo laughed as he sang "and down will come baby, cradle and all."
Cosmo turned to Wanda. "We need to get an exchange. This godchild is broken. I almost drop him and he laughs," he said. Timmy laughed and Cosmo put him down.
"How am I supposed to sleep now that you almost dropped me and told me a story of neglectful parents that leave their child in a tree that fell to it's death?" Timmy asked.
Wanda rolled her eyes and pulled back the covers. "Just go to bed," she said.
Timmy shook his head and started bouncing on the bed. He sang, "I am just an average kid that no one understands. Mom and Dad and Vicky always giving me commands. Doom and gloom up in my room is broken instantly by my magic little fish who grant my every wish. 'Cause in reality they are my odd parents, fairly odd parents!"
Wanda held Timmy down to his bed. "Stop jumping," she said.
"Stop jumping," Timmy echoed.
"Don't even start that," Wanda said.
"Don't even start that," Timmy repeated.
Wanda smiled. "I'm a girl!" she said. Timmy stayed quiet. Wanda laughed. "Got ya."
Timmy rolled his eyes. "I'm not tired!" he said.
"Sure you are," Wanda said. Then she started singing. "Hush, little baby. Don't say a word. Momma's gonna buy you a mocking bird."
Timmy got wide-eyed. "Are you serious? If you shut up I get a bird?"
Wanda rolled her eyes. "And if that mocking bird don't sing, Momma's gonna buy you a diamond ring."
"So, if I kill the bird I get the bling bling, is that what you're saying?" Timmy said.
"Yes, but we all know it's a sin to kill a mockingbird. They do nothing except make music for us to enjoy. They don't steal food or wither crops," Cosmo said. Wanda and Timmy both looked at the fairy.
"Okkay…" Wanda started, then she turned back to Timmy. "And if that diamond ring turns brass, Momma's gonna buy you a looking glass. And if that looking brass gets broke, Momma's gonna buy you a Billy goat."
Timmy looked at Wanda confused. "So…now we're in Texas?" he asked. Wanda sighed and went to her husband.
"I give up!" she said.
Timmy looked to Cosmo. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" he asked.
"I think so, Timmy, but if they called them 'Sad Meals' no body would buy them," Cosmo said.
"That's not what I was thinking about," Timmy said.
"I know, Timmy, but if Jimmy cracks corn and nobody cares why does he keep doing it?" Wanda said.
"Jimmy cracks corn? I thought he was to smart for that," Timmy said.
"See, you didn't even know because nobody cares," Cosmo said.
Timmy thought about it. "Makes sense," he said.
"So what were you thinking about, sport?" Wanda asked
Timmy opened his mouth to say something and then closed it. "I forgot," he said.
Wanda looked at the clock. "Well, I think it's time to go to bed now, Timmy," she said.
Timmy tried to stifle a yawn. "Yeah, maybe you're right," he said. He crawled into bed and Cosmo and Wanda transformed themselves into fishes.
"Goodnight, guys," Timmy said, turning out the light.
"Goodnight, Timmy!" both godparents said in unison.
"Don't let the bedbugs bite. They have rabies," Timmy said.
He heard his godparents laugh as they went inside their castle.