August 26th 2011

Dear diary,

Today was my first day at high school school. Its a public school but it was ok for my first day. I think the only problem is that I am soused to going to a private school and wearing uniform everyday (except non-uniform days), but I think I will get used to the changes soon enough.

I never liked the uniform we had to wear in elementary school, it was a white shirt that was alway too tight around the neck no matter how many time you washed it, a green v-neck jumper that was really itchy, a black tie, a pair of grey trouser and finally black shoes. Everyone had to wear it even the girls. It made even the best looking boys and girls look three times bigger than they actually were. As a matter of fact there is not one good thin g that i could say about that school and you could probably guess how happy I was to leave and start high school. I couldn't wait tomake new friends but I was a little bit nervous to because in elementary school I didn't have any friends. Its a long story but I have time soooooo, when it was my last year of elementary school there was a new guy in my year, he was a little bit smaller than me and that was something that I didn't see everyday because I was very small myself. Anyway, I walked over to him and I introduced myself , "hi my names Blaine Anderson, welcome to Oblong elementary school". When I said it I wasn't nervous or anything until he put his out to shake mine."Hey Blaine, I'm Jason Prince" and thats when I looked into his big green eye that matched the school jumper and looked great with his spikey, short brown hair.

We became more and more friendly with each other as the weeks went by and thats when I realized that I liked him more then just a friend. By that time I knew that I was definately gay but I was the only one who knew.

My love for him was getting stronger and stronger by the day but I still didn't know what to do about it. So one day when my mother and I were going shopping I asked her if she would buy me a journal so I can write down my feelings about starting high school (of course my journal would be about my feelings for Jason but she didn't need to know that) she said it was a great idea and would buy one for me. I got a medium, little green book that matched the colour of his big beautiful eyes and a hazel pencil that I would write with to match his carefully spiked hair.

I always brought my journal to school everyday to write down something if I got inspired by something he said or did. Seven months or so after I brought the journal it was more than half full with everything I felt and wanted to do with Jason.

Oneday when I was putting my books in my bag getting ready to go home I must have left my journal on the table because when I went home to write about how Jason had touched my leg when we were laughing about how blue my teacher dyed her hair and I couldn't find it. I began to panic because I thought maybe Jason found it and was reading it in disgust. That night I cried myself to sleep thinking about where it could have been.

The next morning as I walked through the school doors I heard a classroom full of laughing teenagers. As I got closer to the laughter I realised that it was mine, my heart stopped. As I walked in the door everyone stopped laughing and stared at me and that was when I knew they found it. "Theres the queer with the book" that was said by a boy called Johnny Banks I never liked him. Everyone pointed at me and laughed thats when I started to cry. I looked around the classroom to find Jason sitting at his desk with his mouth wide open reading my journal. I ran out of the classroom crying and hoping that I would never see any of them again (including Jason) but it was the ending of my elementary school days and my parents would never let me transfer now, the other big reason is that they didn't know that I was gay and i was never gonna tell them so I had to stay in that school.

I had spent all day in the toilets and I didn't even know because I had spent so much time crying that I didn't realise how fast the time went.

The Bell Rang for school to end. I was afraid to go out of the bathroom incase Jason saw me and would come over. I knew I had to face my fears and go home, my motive was that if I saw Jason then I would just keep walking and pretend that I never saw him and the same with the rest of the laughing children. When I made my out the front door of the school I looked around and saw Jason standing up against the wall making out with this guy that was in the year below us. I over heard a few girls talking next to me and one of them said "You know that Jason Prince fella, him and his family are moving to Britian and are never coming back". I was so happy that he would be gone so I would never have to speak to him again.

When I went home that evening I told my ,mum and dad everything and they were really supportive about everything."Hey dad" I said after our family conversation, "can I go to a public school faraway from my elementary school" I asked in a sweet voice hoping that it would give me a better chance for him to say yes, and that is exactly what he did.

There was only two more days left of elementary school left and I pretended to be sick so I wouldn't have to go see Jason leave and then he wouldn't see me be upset and cry.

After that I never saw any for the people from elementary school again and I hope that I never will.