Attack Of The Mary Sues

Author: Natas (WEE! I'm BACK!)

Disclaimer: UGH! Me non-original idea making writer! UGH! Marvel and all others create nice people you see! UGH! Me go try and make wheel or fire now!

Summary: That's for me to... um... yeah! And you to find out!

Authors Note: WOO HOO! I'm BACK! Not sick, but it's raining, and rain does WEIRD things to me! YIPEE!

More Notes: RIGHTS FOR SCOTT!

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"Hi, I'm Mary. I'm here for the recruitment?" The perfect, beautiful, and well mannered woman whom stood in front of the stunned X-Men.

"Um - er - uh, I'm sorry," Professor Charles Xavier stuttered, "but recruitments just ended, and we aren't inter-"

Gambit, also known as Remy butted in and exclaimed, "What he means is dat we'd be 'APPY to let you in, ma chere!"

"Oh! Why thank ya kindly!" Mary exclaimed.

"HEY! SHE STOLE MY ACCENT!" Marie squeaked.

"Ya didn't even do a good job of it ANYWAYS!" The real, and much better, Rogue yelled. This erupted into a cat fight where the real Rogue obviously wins.

"Reow! Cat fight!" Logan said, stating the obvious.

"Let me show you to your room Miss... um... what is your last name?" The Professor asked.

"Sue. Mary Sue." She said. This didn't help everyone's fears.

In the mansion, Mary helped Hank create a pill that would give Logan his memory back. Once Logan remembered his past, he ran into Scott's room and explained who his real father was. This caused Scott to jump out of a window, but he was saved by Warren. Warren pulled a muscle as he caught Scott. And Mary helped Beast create a pill to help with that.

"Wow Mary! You're such a good help!" Beast exclaimed.

"Why thank ya!" She replied.

~Mary! You are needed in my office!~ The Professor shouted telepathically.

~Right away!~ She answered back, telepathically.

On the way to the office, Mary helped the real Rogue discover that she could actually touch people, which made everything else in her life irrelevant. Rogue took advantage of this and beat the living snot out of the movieverse her, Marie. Marie complained to Logan who wasn't movieverse. Logan didn't care and stabbed her through the chest. Marie touched Logan and healed herself. Logan passed out but woke up a second later because I like him so much. Logan again stabbed Marie, but this time in the head making her die. But to keep the plot going, Mary helped Marie recover and went to the Professor's office with time to spare.

Just as Mary was about to enter the Professor's office, I (Natas, the author. You remember me, right?) yelped, "AH! MY CAT IS IN MY LAP! GET IT OFF! GGEETT IITT OOFFFF!!!!!"

"OH! A cute little kitten!" Mary said as she went to pick my cat up. But before she could, she sneezed.

"Wow, what's wrong with you?" I asked.

"Ah don't *AH CHOO* know? *AH CHOO*" She said as her eyes started to water and her nose turned red.

"Mary! Get away from that cat!" The Professor screamed as he walked out of his office.

"Aren't you supposed to NOT be able to walk?" I asked.

"Aren't YOU supposed to be back home?" He answered back, suddenly back in his wheel chair.

"What?"

"*AH CHOO!*" Mary interrupted.

"Mary! You have allergies! You must stay away from all things with fur!" The Professor exclaimed again.

"But I was just with Hank!"

"But he's alright. You must stay away from anything that showers in it's own saliva!"

Just then, hank walked by licking he arm and using his arm to scrub behind his ears.

"*AH CHOO*"

"Come with me in my office right away!" The Professor said as he led Mary into his office by the hand. As she walked in, the sneezing stopped.

"Wow, that feels good." She said.

"Yes, anyways... We need to talk."

"Don't ya mean 'we need to speak'?"

"Yes, anyways..."

"Right-O!"

"What happened with your accent?"

"Mary t'ink you a' jus' jealous!" She said in a Cajun accent.

"We must speak of your gifts!" The Professor yelled.

"A'ight."

"Merf!"

"Dizzle."

"AH!"

"Now what were speaking of?" Mary asked.

"We must speak of your powers!" The Professor said, visibly tired.

"Right-O! Let me see." She started counting on her fingers. "I'm telepathic, telekinetic, I have adamantium claws, I can control the weather,"

Seven hours, 52 minutes, 26 second, seventeen cups of coffee, 800 aspirin, and many naps later.

"I can make ice cream out of thin air, and I can make the BEST danged cookies ANYONE'S ever ate!"

"*SNORK* What? Are you done yet?" The Professor asked, just waking up from a nap.

"Yes."

"Alright, you're in. Just don't list off all things you can do anymore, okay?"

"Not a problem."

"Now, if we can continue on with our interview." The Professor said.

"What would that be?"

"We must know your past."

Mary's eye's narrowed and the room grew dark, excluding the area directly around her which mysteriously grew brighter.

~To Be Continued~

(WOO HOO! I'M BACK!)

(I'm so happy.)

(The ending to the last series just left everything open.)

(Read and Review!)

(PS: RIGHTS FOR SCOTT!)