A/N: Just a crazy little idea I had! What I do for inspiration is I go up to my room, bounce my ball off the wall and wait for something to hit me, be it the ball or an idea. XD Anyway, this time it was an idea, and it was this. So, enjoy! And I did get hit by the ball actually, you have to suffer for literature. *nurses cheek* Please read and review! Jazzola :)

"'Ave you seen, ma'am? The Police Gala, it's next week!"

"The what?" Alex Drake asked, turning to her junior officer on her way to Gene Hunt's office, a look of slight confusion on her face. Shaz was holding up a poster with the words "POLICE GALA" written in big letters at the top, her face alight. "All departments 'ave to do it, ma'am, and so we've got to put an act together here, in CID!"

Shaz's voice carried through the horrified silence that had come over CID as soon as she had held up the poster. Chris was looking even more nervous than usual, and Ray was looking as though he would rather stick pins in his balls than take part in the Police Gala; a couple of the other DCs looked the same way, and one of them gulped rather loudly. Shaz was the only one looking happy about this.

"So?" Alex asked, turning to look at them. "We have to dress up for a night and go on stage, what's so bad about that? It could be fun." Ray looked at her incredulously, and Chris all but fled CID, muttering something about needing a piss.

"The Gala's for poofter nancies doin' impressions o' John Travolta an' Elvis, not for real police officers," Ray said scornfully, a couple of the DCs joining in with him and nodding. Alex put her hands on her hips, a stubborn look coming over her face.

"Then why don't we do something different, set a new trend? What's the normal thing?"

"Wha' I said, a John T impression or Elvis or a short play, like a tragedy or somethin'," Ray said in mild disgust. Alex tilted her head to one side.

"Well… I have an idea. Who sings in here? Anyone got a good singing voice? I have, I won several medals in my youth. I would have gone into professional singing had I not trained as a psychologist."

The officers exchanged glances.

"You could ask the Guv if you're brave enough," Ray shrugged, inclining his head towards Gene's office, where his senior officer was slugging back a glass of scotch and lighting a cigarette, oblivious to the discussion outside and instead engrossed in doodling. Alex looked surprised.

"The Guv?"

"Strong tenor," Ray grinned. "Met up wi' 'is mum back in Manchester, when 'e was carin' for 'er an' I brought some reports round. Church choir an' everything!"

Shaz's jaw could have dislocated at the angle it was at. Alex simply grinned.

"Who'll persuade him to go on stage?"

"It would take a lot more than a fruitcake DI an' a bunch o' poofters to get me on that stage, Lady Bolls."

Alex swerved round. Gene was standing there, arms crossed and a displeased look on his face.

"An' for the record, I was thrown outta that choir for "disorderly conduct", Raymondo. Got into a fight durin' the Christmas show, knocked out a couple o' boys an' the choir master, wrecked 'is chances o' 'avin' kids certainly."

"Good King Wenceslas would've been turning in his grave," Alex muttered to herself as a ripple of laughter coursed through CID.

"My point is, you're not gettin' me on a stage unless it's for a medal or somethin'."

Alex sat back, thinking hard.

"Well… actually, Guv, I have an idea."

"Oh, bloody hell. God save us all. Bollinger-Knickers on rampage with crazy ideas, run for your lives!"

"No wonder you were kicked out of the church choir with that kind of talk. You don't have to go on stage. All you have to do is stay behind the scenes and sing."

Gene looked unconvinced. Shaz and Ray exchanged confused glances.

"Then who'll be on stage, ma'am?" Shaz asked, frowning.

"You. You'll be on stage, but someone else will be with you. Since normally the mood is quite severe at these Galas, very serious and sombre, we're going to do a comedy. Make us stand out, make people think ours was the best act."

At the word "comedy", several ears pricked up. "Comedy" to those in CID meant Laurel and Hardy, hopefully with a slightly sexual side to allow for a bit of perving at Shaz.

"I've got a musical that would be perfect! Spamalot."

"Spam wha'?" Ray asked, his expression unimpressed at the prospect of acting out a musical with Spam in the name.

"It's a funny take on Camelot, you know, the Knights of the Round Table and King Arthur. One of the songs has a woman and a man singing. We'll do that one, but instead of having a man on stage singing, we have the Guv behind the stage and we have a woman mouthing along to his singing. It's a comedy anyway, so it'll make it brilliant. We can have a woman singing along to a man's voice, and thus the parts will be swapped over but the characters will still maintain their personas, the big strong knight in shining armour and the damsel in distress. It'll just add to the comedy. I'll find a VHS or something of it and show you."

Gene shook his head.

"No."

Alex turned to him with a frown on her face. Most of the CID boys were already looking happy about this, since it only involved four people and Alex and Shaz had already volunteered, plus they knew Chris would do anything Shaz asked him to do.

"Why not?"

"They'll recognise my accent, they'll know it was me singing an' that'll be just as bad as if it was me prancin' around in front of 'em."

This was really quite insightful for Gene Hunt, and Alex's eyebrows rose at each word.

"Well… I don't know, Gene. Couldn't you fake an accent?"

Gene sighed inwardly.

"Why can't one o' the other boys do this?"

"Ray's singing voice I've heard, he could deafen a cat-" Ray looked mortally offended- "and Chris I think will want to be on stage with Shaz. The DCs won't cut the mustard; you've been properly trained in singing, you'll blow them away."

Gene was about to start moaning again when Alex cut him off.

"And we'll be able to slouch off early to rehearse for it. We can go back to my place, so it'll just be us. Nobody else."

To an onlooker, it would have seemed that Alex was simply trying to preserve Gene's reputation by saying this, but Gene had caught the look in her eyes and knew there was a double meaning to her words. Besides, private time with his DI didn't seem like such a bad thing to him. He reluctantly agreed.

"OK, that's settled. The rest of you can track down some costumes for Chris and Shaz, and some microphones and such for Gene and me. Oh, and can somebody get a VHS of Spamalot sharpish?"

Being police officers, this was right up the street of the DCs and they got onto it immediately, just thankful that it wouldn't be them on stage.

Chris returned from the toilet just as Ray wondered aloud what size costume to get him, a wicked grin covering his face as he saw Chris walk over with a confused look on his face.

"Ray, what's goin' on?"

With the grin still plastered over his face, Ray stood up and steered a bamboozled Chris over to the equipment room, grabbing a tape measure on his way out, much to the amusement of the rest of CID.

A/N: So, what do people think of this so far? Do you like it? Please drop me a review and tell me if you do! Next chapter will be Gene and Alex's first rehearsal! Review or I will send the entire of CID round after a long night in Luigi's. You have been warned! XD Jazzola :)