As Chloe walked into the Talon apartment, it felt strangley foreign. She'd been spending so much of her time at Watchtower and Ollie's penthouse recently, that she barely came back to her actual home anymore. She knew her cousin was there before she even stepped through the door, due to the signature 'Lois sounds' coming from within. Chloe had been meaning to talk with Lois ever since their return from the rather awkward couples weekend. She figured now was as good a time as any.
"Hey Lo, long time no see." She spoke entering the apartment. She had to contain her snort of laughter, as Lois was bustling around the kitchen area, obviously trying the very unfamiliar concept of cooking.
"Chlo! You're actually home? It's some kind of miracle." Lois froze, taken aback by her cousin's presence. She did a quick double take, while Chloe jokingly continued;
"Yeah, yeah. I know you're secretly glad I'm always away, provides more alone time for you and a certain farm boy."
"Hoes over bros cuz, hoes over bros. Anyway, I'm glad you're here, now I can justify getting take out." Chloe giggled as she set about making a pot of coffee. She offered Lois a mug before continuing.
"So Lois…"
"Jeez, I feel like I'm about to be interrogated. What exactly did I do this time? Hell, if anything, I should be the one interrogating you- you're the master secret keeper these days." Lois sat down on one of the bar stools, placing the counter between them.
"Well, yeah, about that… I know I said 'No comment', but are you okay with all this?"
"You and Ollie?" Chloe nodded; looking nervous for the onslaught she assumed would come. Lois seemed to sense this as she continued; "I know I should totally lay into you for breaking the girl code and all that, but in all honesty I think it's great. I'm glad you two got together- I mean, I won't deny I was surprised, but the more I think about it, he's pretty much your perfect match."
She had been thinking about the change in events non-stop since she first saw them together at the inn, in their matching robes. At first she felt shocked and slightly betrayed, but once she processed the details, she saw that this was potentially the best match she had ever seen- they just fit.
"Well, I don't know about that, and we're not together- we're just having fun. One friend helping out another, you know." Lois rolled her eyes, they may claim to be doing the whole 'friends with benefits' thing, but she knew whatever was going on went deeper than that.
"Yeah, 'helping', sure. The only thing he's helping you with is raising the pleasure setting on your bedroom gymnastics." Lois trailed off laughing.
"Lois!" Chloe practically screamed, scolding her cousin with a look.
"What? Been there cuz. I know where the man's talents lie. It's not only a bow arrow he knows how to handle." Lois replied, quirking an eyebrow in answer to her cousin's look of dismay.
"Yeah, don't really need you to remind me of that one. I'm all up for girl talk- but a mutual lover… not so fun." Chloe retorted, a little harsher than intended.
"I see your point, but it seems like it's more than my crude jokes getting you down Chlo."
"I'm just very aware of the fact that he was yours first, and besides Tess, you're the only person he's had a real relationship with." Chloe confessed averting her eyes from Lois'. She couldn't bare it if she saw sympathy there- that would just confirm her role as the lesser girl.
"I thought you were determined you weren't in a relationship with him." Lois replied sarcastically, choosing to tackle Chloe's verbal slip up than the underlying tension caused by the talk of ex's.
"I'm not! I'm really not!" Chloe replied a little too hastily. Lois chuckled and muttered under her breath;
"Methinks the Lady doth protest too much." Chloe chose to ignore Lois' jibe and continued;
"All I'm saying is, it's crossed my mind that I'm either another notch on his bedpost or I'm a consolation prize for my cousin. Needless to say, I don't really want to be either."
"Chlo, why would you feel like that? I know Ollie and I can see the way he is with you. Trust me; I don't think he sees this arrangement as 'friends with benefits' despite what you say. Chloe, I saw him, and the way he looked at you- watching your every move with such unwavering attention and obvious affection- it just said exactly what he felt for you, and that was coming second to no one! He's matured Chlo; he doesn't go for an easy lay and a one night stand anymore- especially not with his colleague and best friend." Lois watched her process the information and sighed internally as she saw Chloe's expression rest, once again, on one of self-criticism.
"Lo, that's all very well and it's nice of you to say, but I know what he told you. I know he still loves you." Chloe trained her eyes on the floor, not wanting to show how much this fact actually pained her.
"Wow," Lois breathed, "Well, I'm not even going to ask how, but that was totally different."
"I don't think proclaiming his love to you, getting shot down- for Clark, no less- then coming to find me for some action, bodes well; do you? The really stupid thing is, I let him keep coming back, I caved over and over again." Chloe sighed, "He just made me forget, you know? It was fun and new and kind of exhilarating. It was so nice to escape reality for that short time. Now it's out in the open I can see all the flaws and mistakes. I'd rather be lost in our own secret world again- it was all so black and white there."
"Chlo, do you still want to be with him despite this new perspective? Because to me, it sounds like you can't bear to give it all up."
"No, I don't want to give it up- there's not really any point in denying it I guess. I don't want to lose the way he makes me feel, or the way he makes me forget. It's just I really don't want to be used, especially to get over my own cousin! No offence Lo, but I'm tired of being second best to you." Chloe confessed. "It's not your fault but the past few years have been crazy. I mean, you got my dream job and my first love- that's kind of backwards. Everything just seems to fall away from me. The Daily Planet, Clark's friendship, Jimmy. God, Jimmy. What evil trick of fate was that? And now, Ollie suddenly arrives and brings me back to life a little bit. Then I find out I'm actually only a replacement- the next best option. You get his love and I get his bed. Jeez, how special I feel. It just seems like, yet again, I'm losing out on something that could, maybe even should, be mine- to you."
"God Chlo. I'm so sorry, how long have you been thinking all this? I feel terrible, I never meant to invade your life in that way. If you feel like this though, like it should be yours, you need to fight for it. Keeping Ollie at a distance won't help matters. If you started a proper relationship with the guy don't you think you'd gain his love? I think you're already half way there, without even trying." Lois stated, trying to convey the obvious without sounding dispassionate.
"Lois, I appreciate why you think that, honestly I do, but you have to understand that this way- when he leaves- it won't hurt me again. I can't get attached because I'll just get broken again, and I can't survive that. At least he gave me some closure and some tenderness, I never thought I'd have either again. I thought my heart was truly buried under the huge pile of crap that is my life so far, but he tugged it back towards the daylight a little. That's all I can handle though, anymore and it'll just be too dangerous- for both of us."
The two girls were so absorbed in their 'heart to heart', that neither noticed the tall, blond figure leaning against the doorframe. Ollie had walked in on the conversation just before Chloe voiced her insecurities and couldn't bring himself to stop listening. Watching the woman he loved continually talk herself down was painful enough, but to know he was the cause of her anguish was pure torture. He wanted to run away from it all, be a coward, but he couldn't leave Chloe believing that she was unworthy, unwanted, or worst of all, unloved. So- using his best boardroom confidence and bravado- he chose this moment to speak up;
"I think the only dangerous thing would be to go on pretending that our feelings aren't real or meaningful. I think the only way we'd get hurt would be to ignore the opportunity of something more- because we were scared or lost in the past- risking potential happiness. I think I could spend the rest of my days proving this to you, as long as you promise you'll attempt to believe me."
Chloe froze in shock, for the first time in her life she was speechless. Lois however, watched the pair with a knowing smirk on her face and the glint of an 'I told you so' in her eyes.
"You'll be first in my heart from now on Chloe Sullivan." Oliver finished, looking into the eyes of the woman, he now knew, was his one and only.