"Don't Go There, Girlfriend!"
A/N: Really simple, stupid plot (suddenly, there's a plot? I wasn't informed…): the Hogwarts kids start arguing about who's the best character…
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Our story begins somewhat normally. Kids are studying and practicing a boirng poem (that doesn't rhyme, mind you) that they had to perform for the Ministry in the library.
"Okay, let's try it one more time," Professor McGonagall cries out suddenly. Groaning, the kids stood in their postions and began to speak:
"At the school of Hogwarts, there were four special Houses. There were—"
"GRYFFINDORS!" shouted all the Gryffindors.
"AND SLYTHERINS!" yelled the Slytherins.
"THERE WERE HUFFLEPUFFS!"
"AND RAVENCLAWS!"
"But who's actually the greatest character of them all?" asked Draco Malfoy, wanting to proove a point.
Professor McGonagall was not pleased.
"This is not in the program!" she hissed.
They ignored her.
"Well, I'm Harry Potter, the main character. If it weren't for me you guys wouldn't exist!"
"Kill me now, then!" shouted Draco angrily. "I'm Draco Malfoy, and I'm rich. Everybody likes me, especially the fanfic authors."
"No wonder a great amount of the fanfics devoted to us suck," Ron exclaimed. "I'm Ron Weasley, and I'm funny!"
"And this opinion would be… whose?" asked Ernie MacMillan. "I'm Ernie MacMillan, and I'm descended from lotsa purebloods."
"And we wonder why the quality of purebloods has been reduced," said Ginny Weasley sarcastically. "I'm Ginny Weasley, and I'm the only girl in my family."
"And you're flaunting this?" questioned Hannah Abbott. "I'm Hannah Abbott, and if you turn my name around backwards, it's still my name!"
"Aren't we special?" asked Hermione Granger in a high, sarcastic voice. "I'm Hermione Granger, and I'm a really smart student!"
"Don't go there girlfriend!" said Cho Chang. "I'm Cho Chang, and I'm the Ravenclaw seeker! Plus I'm really hot!"
"Like I'm not?" asked Parvati shrilly. "I'm Parvati Patil, and I had a nameless twin for three years!"
"That's a good thing?" Terry Boot asked disbelievingly. "I'm Terry Boot, and nobody ever mentions me! I'M NOT LOVED!" *He starts sobbing*
"Aww, little baby want his hanky? I'm Lavender Brown, and most people consider me a ditz!"
The room is silent for a minute.
"Oookay, Ditz Queen. I'm Cedric Diggory, and I'm really dead!"
"Oh Cedric Cedric!" cried Cho.
"Cho!"
"Cedric!"
"Cho!"
"Cedric!
"Cho!"
"Ced—"
"OKAY!" screams the whole school.
"You should have stayed in the grave!" insisted Dean Thomas. "We were much better off that way! I'm Dean Thomas, and I draw good!"
"MATTER OF OPINION!" screamed Susan Bones. "I'm Susan Bones, and supposedly I died, but I'm not really sure."
"COOL! We're Crabbe and Goyle, and we do Malfoy's bidding."
"I feel bad for you, really I do—NOT! I'm Seamus Finnigan, and I think I'm Irish!"
"HEY!" said Professor McGonagall, who was finally getting into the game. "What about JK?"
"JK, JK, JK," said all the kids in hushed voices hailing JK sarcastically.
"So who's the greatest?" asked JK in a sniffy voice.
"I AM!" they all shouted in unison.
~Finis~
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A/N: Told you so. It is stupid. I really had to do this with my class in front of the school board, just we acted as characters that we had to write reports on (Hermione's "Aren't we special?" was my sarcastic part). Hope you enjoyed the stupidity.
Disclaimer: All belongs to all!