Vampire Story
An AU horror/humor fic
by King Jacko
Jacko's Note: Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise, and anything that's not mine belongs to whoever. ALL CHARACTERS ARE OOC! This is my first fanfiction EVER, I know it sucks, but what the heck, review as you like, BUT DAMN REVIEW!!! My sister Lynne-
Lynne: Hopes that Jacko-
Linnea: hasn't gotten in over his head.
Lynne: Muse, shut up! I hope that Jacko's story is really good-
Linnea: Yeah, right-
Jacko: Be quiet, sister, and you stupid muse. (they are quiet.) At last, peace and quiet.(clears throat and speaks with announcer's voice) LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, IT IS NOW TIME FOR THE FEATURE PRESENTATION. (lights dim) WAIT, THIS ISN'T A MOVIE! (lights go back on, and voices fade.) Arigato, minna-san, and enjoy the show, er, story.
Chapter One: The Pizza that Changed Everything
One time, Duo (a bad cook as he is) made a pizza with a dash of garlic powder (which was actually evil changing powder that makes you turn into a were-vampire at every full moon.) Duo ate almost all the pizza...Heero, being mistrustful of Duo's cooking, had only a little piece.
{Linnea: Available at all witchcraft, wizard, sorcery, and grocery stores for the low price of your firstborn child. A little dab will do ya.
Lynne: Be quiet, it's good so far.
Jacko: SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP, OR I WILL FEED YOU, LINNEA,TO MY PET MANTICORA SCOTT!
(there is silence)
Linnea: (to Lynne) What's a manticora?
Lynne: You don't want to know.}
That night (of course) was a full moon. And you can guess what happened.
{Linnea: Nani?
Lynne: (sigh)...
Jacko: SHUT UP OR SHIP OUT!}
Two were-vampires rampaging across the colony of L-1 were reported all over the news. Later that night, estimated totals of destruction: 3.6 billion credits in damage, 1,000 people homeless, 21 tragically injured people, and 100 less injured: and that wasn't all.
The next morning, the destruction had gone up from the estimate. The official totals: 5.6 billion credits in damage, 2,000 people homeless, 42 tragically injured: and 200 less injured. And the two "people" responsible had no memory of this night whatsoever.
{Linnea: THAT'S WRONG!! THAT'S SO WRONG!!
Lynne: (sigh)...
Jacko: I HAVEN'T FED SCOTT IN A WEEK...AND YOU KNOW, HE'S KIND OF HUNGRY
Scott the Manticora: GROWWLLL! (saliva drips from his mouth).}
One month later, it happened again, on the colony L-2. Official totals: doubled from the L-1 disaster. Colony officials in every colony are getting desperate to find a way to dispose of these menaces (not knowing who they are) and call Quatre back from his (very well-deserved and needed) vacation. Quatre notices that the two were-vampires wear very familiar clothes (ragged though by the end of the night, according to all accounts and pictures on the news): one wears a priest's outfit and has a long braid, and the other wears a green tank top and black shorts. And he figured out the identity of the w-vampires: they were none other than Heero and Duo. But since they were his friends, he couldn't tell the authorities who they are, for they would kill them. And since one of his sisters is an enchantress and another a sorceress, he knew of the strange evil powder.
{Linnea: Must I repeat what I said about the powder being available at grocery stores, and-
Jacko: CAN IT, YOU BITCH!!!
Lynne: (sigh) Can I leave?
Jacko: (does his Mel Gibson imitation) NO, YOU ARE STAYING RIGHT HERE, AND KEEPING YOUR ASS IN THAT CHAIR!!!}
His two white witch sisters study a sample of the powder that Quatre (when he went into Duo's apartment when neither Heero or Duo was home) got for them. They studied it for the next month, hoping to find a cure. And they did: but only an empath could give them the cure.
" We have a cure." Sami Winner said to her younger brother.
" Terrific, give it to me so I can give it to them!" Quatre said.
" Problem. Only an empath can cure them, and where are you going to find an empath before the next full moon?" Melissa, the enchantress, said.
" Did you two conveniently forget that I AM an empath?!" Quatre replied, a little less than polite in his eager desire to get his friends back to normal (or as normal as Heero and Duo could get).
"Oh, yeah." Sami said sheepishly. "The cure is hold your hands up and say the magic words."
Quatre thought this strange advice, but memorized it. " Why can't you two do it?"
" 'Lissa is an enchantress, and I'm a sorceress." Sami said. " We AREN'T empaths."
Quatre sighed...
That same night was the full moon. Quatre stood on the hill, on the L-3 colony, where his uchuu no kokoro told him that Heero and Duo would go next.
//I hope this works.// he thought. But he had a nagging feeling that it wouldn't...
End Chapter
Preview of Next Chapter:
Will the CURE work? Will HEERO and DUO die? Will QUATRE die trying to save his friends? Will the COLONY blow up? Will LINNEA ever shut up? Will KING JACKO feed her to his pet (very hungry) manticora, SCOTT? Find out on the next exciting episode-oops, wrong show-hey, will there be a next chapter?
Scott the Dark Prince (the MUSE of Jacko, not the same as the MANTICORA): Yes!
Well, tune in, for whatever's next.
An AU horror/humor fic
by King Jacko
Jacko's Note: Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise, and anything that's not mine belongs to whoever. ALL CHARACTERS ARE OOC! This is my first fanfiction EVER, I know it sucks, but what the heck, review as you like, BUT DAMN REVIEW!!! My sister Lynne-
Lynne: Hopes that Jacko-
Linnea: hasn't gotten in over his head.
Lynne: Muse, shut up! I hope that Jacko's story is really good-
Linnea: Yeah, right-
Jacko: Be quiet, sister, and you stupid muse. (they are quiet.) At last, peace and quiet.(clears throat and speaks with announcer's voice) LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, IT IS NOW TIME FOR THE FEATURE PRESENTATION. (lights dim) WAIT, THIS ISN'T A MOVIE! (lights go back on, and voices fade.) Arigato, minna-san, and enjoy the show, er, story.
Chapter One: The Pizza that Changed Everything
One time, Duo (a bad cook as he is) made a pizza with a dash of garlic powder (which was actually evil changing powder that makes you turn into a were-vampire at every full moon.) Duo ate almost all the pizza...Heero, being mistrustful of Duo's cooking, had only a little piece.
{Linnea: Available at all witchcraft, wizard, sorcery, and grocery stores for the low price of your firstborn child. A little dab will do ya.
Lynne: Be quiet, it's good so far.
Jacko: SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP, OR I WILL FEED YOU, LINNEA,TO MY PET MANTICORA SCOTT!
(there is silence)
Linnea: (to Lynne) What's a manticora?
Lynne: You don't want to know.}
That night (of course) was a full moon. And you can guess what happened.
{Linnea: Nani?
Lynne: (sigh)...
Jacko: SHUT UP OR SHIP OUT!}
Two were-vampires rampaging across the colony of L-1 were reported all over the news. Later that night, estimated totals of destruction: 3.6 billion credits in damage, 1,000 people homeless, 21 tragically injured people, and 100 less injured: and that wasn't all.
The next morning, the destruction had gone up from the estimate. The official totals: 5.6 billion credits in damage, 2,000 people homeless, 42 tragically injured: and 200 less injured. And the two "people" responsible had no memory of this night whatsoever.
{Linnea: THAT'S WRONG!! THAT'S SO WRONG!!
Lynne: (sigh)...
Jacko: I HAVEN'T FED SCOTT IN A WEEK...AND YOU KNOW, HE'S KIND OF HUNGRY
Scott the Manticora: GROWWLLL! (saliva drips from his mouth).}
One month later, it happened again, on the colony L-2. Official totals: doubled from the L-1 disaster. Colony officials in every colony are getting desperate to find a way to dispose of these menaces (not knowing who they are) and call Quatre back from his (very well-deserved and needed) vacation. Quatre notices that the two were-vampires wear very familiar clothes (ragged though by the end of the night, according to all accounts and pictures on the news): one wears a priest's outfit and has a long braid, and the other wears a green tank top and black shorts. And he figured out the identity of the w-vampires: they were none other than Heero and Duo. But since they were his friends, he couldn't tell the authorities who they are, for they would kill them. And since one of his sisters is an enchantress and another a sorceress, he knew of the strange evil powder.
{Linnea: Must I repeat what I said about the powder being available at grocery stores, and-
Jacko: CAN IT, YOU BITCH!!!
Lynne: (sigh) Can I leave?
Jacko: (does his Mel Gibson imitation) NO, YOU ARE STAYING RIGHT HERE, AND KEEPING YOUR ASS IN THAT CHAIR!!!}
His two white witch sisters study a sample of the powder that Quatre (when he went into Duo's apartment when neither Heero or Duo was home) got for them. They studied it for the next month, hoping to find a cure. And they did: but only an empath could give them the cure.
" We have a cure." Sami Winner said to her younger brother.
" Terrific, give it to me so I can give it to them!" Quatre said.
" Problem. Only an empath can cure them, and where are you going to find an empath before the next full moon?" Melissa, the enchantress, said.
" Did you two conveniently forget that I AM an empath?!" Quatre replied, a little less than polite in his eager desire to get his friends back to normal (or as normal as Heero and Duo could get).
"Oh, yeah." Sami said sheepishly. "The cure is hold your hands up and say the magic words."
Quatre thought this strange advice, but memorized it. " Why can't you two do it?"
" 'Lissa is an enchantress, and I'm a sorceress." Sami said. " We AREN'T empaths."
Quatre sighed...
That same night was the full moon. Quatre stood on the hill, on the L-3 colony, where his uchuu no kokoro told him that Heero and Duo would go next.
//I hope this works.// he thought. But he had a nagging feeling that it wouldn't...
End Chapter
Preview of Next Chapter:
Will the CURE work? Will HEERO and DUO die? Will QUATRE die trying to save his friends? Will the COLONY blow up? Will LINNEA ever shut up? Will KING JACKO feed her to his pet (very hungry) manticora, SCOTT? Find out on the next exciting episode-oops, wrong show-hey, will there be a next chapter?
Scott the Dark Prince (the MUSE of Jacko, not the same as the MANTICORA): Yes!
Well, tune in, for whatever's next.