A/N: I wrote this a few months ago and haven't posted it yet. The first part takes place before "In the Belly of the Beast." At the break, it jumps to after that episode has taken place.
The Test
Kate smiles at the redheaded teenager as she takes a seat across from her, "Sorry I'm late. Your dad was trying to trick me into letting him come."
Alexis smiles at that, "Sorry."
"No, it's fine. I didn't mean to tell him that my lunch date was with you; I told him I was meeting with Lanie, but then she showed up with lunch for Esposito. He was worried that I was meeting another guy so I told him that I was meeting you."
"You don't have to lie to him for me," the younger girl tells her.
"You asked me not to bring him so I just figured there was something on your mind. I didn't know anything so I wasn't lying to him. And as long as it's not something dangerous, I don't plan to tell him anything that you don't want him to know."
"Thanks, Kate," she manages a small smile, unsure of how to approach the topic. The waitress comes over to take their order, giving the younger woman some more time to think
"So how are classes going this semester?" Kate asks once the waitress leaves.
"Good. I'm really enjoying college, and I think pre-med was the right choice for me."
"That's good. Lanie keeps asking if you want to intern at the morgue again this summer."
"Yeah, I'd love to. I learned so much last year," she smiles. "How is the case? Did you talk to the husband again?"
"He confessed. We just have to finish up the paperwork this afternoon."
"Good." The two fall silent until the waitress bring their drinks out. Once she has left, Alexis speaks up. "Thank you for convincing me to come home, Kate. Moving in with Pi was a mistake. Dating Pi was a mistake; I shouldn't have brought him home with me. I was… mad because Dad didn't tell me that he had asked you to marry him. Not that I don't want you to marry him, Kate; I can see how in love the two of you are. And I was expecting him to ask you eventually. I just… thought he'd let me know that he was going to ask you."
"I understand, Alexis. I'd be upset too if my dad got engaged without asking me about it first."
"I knew that Dad wouldn't like Pi; that's what drew me to him in the first place. And I did like him at first. He was different from any guy I'd dated before and so different from me. But things kind of went downhill after we moved into our own apartment. He constantly wanted to spend time with me because he didn't really have anyone else to hang out with, but I still had classes and my own friends. And he liked to buy things to improve our apartment and gifts for me, but we didn't really have the money to spend. And the mess… he didn't know how to clean up after himself; I always had to ask him to do so," Alexis explains.
"You'll find the right guy someday, Alexis. Just be patient and don't settle for someone that you don't want to spend the rest of your life with," the detective advises.
"I see what you and Dad have, and I know that I want that for myself someday."
"Guys are idiots in college; just wait until after you graduate to worry about it."
"I feel like there is a story," the redhead grins, forgetting about her own problems for a moment.
Kate smiles back as the waitress sets their food down in front of them. "I dated the pitcher of the baseball team for three months of my junior year of college. I met him at some party the first weekend back to campus for spring semester. He became busier with baseball practice and games as the semester went on so we really only hung out for one or two nights a week. I had asked him to go out to dinner or something one Friday night, and he told me that he had to study for this big test he had the following week, that he was going to be benched if he didn't do pretty well on it. I went to some party with my friends instead that night, and I find him making out with some other girl."
"He cheated on you?"
"Yep. She was the star of the soccer team or something; they had been seeing each other for weeks."
"Wow. I think I would have killed him. At least Pi wasn't that bad."
"I didn't really want to go out with him to begin with, but he asked me out in front of all of my friends. They looked like they would kill me if I said no to him. But we had fun on the first date so I decided to give him a chance. If he didn't want to go out with me, I don't know why he just didn't break up with me instead of cheating; I wouldn't really have been that hurt if he just said he didn't want to go out with me anymore." The brunette takes another bite of her turkey sandwich before switching the focus back on the younger girl, "So what about the guy you mentioned last week that's in your chemistry lab?"
"He has a girlfriend; I saw them holding hands as they left the building after lab yesterday."
"Too bad."
The two women are silent as they finish up their meal. Alexis sets her fork down and stares at her nearly empty plate of salad.
"Is something wrong, Alexis?" Kate pushed her own plate her own plate to the side, giving the teenager her full attention. "I know that I'm not your mother, and I'm not trying to replace your mother just because I'm marrying your dad. I really have no idea how to even be a parent. But if you ever want to talk, I'm here."
"I think I'm pregnant," the redhead whispers, still staring down at her plate.
"I…" Kate hesitates, not sure what to do. After a moment of silence, she decides to tell Alexis another story. "After my mom died, I was kind of reckless. I met this guy at a party; I was incredibly drunk, and I ended up going home with him. We went to Vegas for spring break a couple weeks later, and I finally broke up with him a few days after we got back because I failed a midterm and realized that my mother would not want me to throw my life away just because she was killed. I worked hard the next few weeks to bring my grades back up and get everything back to normal, and then one day I realized that I was almost a month late. I tried to convince myself that it was just the stress of school and of Mom's murder, but I eventually worked up the courage to take a pregnancy test. It was positive. I never told anyone."
Alexis finally looks up at her, "You have a kid?"
"No. Maybe it was the stress, maybe it was all of the alcohol I drank while I was still with the father… I had a miscarriage during finals week. I never told anyone. Not the baby's dad, not my dad, not your dad."
"Don't worry; I won't tell Dad. Not that he would remember it once I tell him that I'm pregnant."
"Have you taken a test yet?" the detective reaches across the table for the younger woman's hands.
"No, I'm too scared. What am I going to do? I can't take care of a kid and finish school. And Dad is going to hate me."
"Alexis, your father could never hate you."
"Well he hated Pi and now I'm going to have Pi's child. And what do I tell Pi?"
"How about you take a test first before we deal with Pi and your dad? Your dad said that he had a meeting tomorrow afternoon with Gina and Paula about the new Derrick Storm books; I can stop by the store on the way home and get a couple tests for you, and we can find out before he gets home tomorrow."
"You're not going to tell him?"
She shakes her head, "He doesn't need to know right now. If you are actually pregnant, I can't keep it a secret from him forever."
"I know, Kate. I will tell him."
The waitress brings their check then and Alexis reaches for her purse. "I've got it," Kate says, handing the waitress enough cash to cover their meal and for a tip.
"You didn't have to. I'm the one who asked you to lunch and threw my problems on you."
"Don't worry about it. I know what you're going through." The two stand up to leave. "See you tonight?"
"I'll probably go to the library after class and won't be home until late. We have an anatomy test this Friday, and I didn't do as well as I had hoped on the last one. I'm going to study with a few friends; I haven't been very productive studying on my own so hopefully this will help me out."
"Okay. Good luck studying. I'll let your dad know not to wait up for you," the older woman says as the exit the diner.
"Thank you, Kate. For everything," Alexis gives her a small smile before they go separate ways.
-Castle-
Castle heads upstairs to use the restroom as he can still hear the shower running in his own bathroom. He knew how difficult it was to get her into the shower yesterday so that he could wash away the evidence of her undercover operation, and after hearing what she had been through, he didn't blame her. When she told him half an hour ago that she was still cold and was going to take a hot shower, he had been surprised; he had offered to get her more blankets and to turn the thermostat up even though the apartment was already too warm for him, but she had insisted that she wanted to shower. He suspected that what she really wanted was to soak in his bathtub, but he had seen the way she avoided looking at the tub yesterday despite the fact that it was empty. He didn't want to disturb her or have her think that he was checking up on her so he decides to just go upstairs.
As he flushes the toilet, something in the garbage can catches his eye. His first thought is of Kate when he discovers that the box is for a pregnancy test, unable to keep the smile off his face at the thought of having a baby with Kate. He stares down at the box for a moment, wondering when she was going to tell him. One thought sticks with him, though, and the smile disappears from his face; as much as he has been trying not to hover over her since bringing her home yesterday, he knows that there is no way she would have had the time to take the tests since her undercover operation, which means that she went undercover knowing she was pregnant. He quickly washes his hands before heading down the stairs, box of tests in hand.
The water is no longer running in his bathroom, but he decides to wait until she comes out to confront her. He promised to have dinner ready for her when she was done, and he goes to work setting the table, placing the box of pregnancy tests beside her place setting.
"It smells delicious," Kate says as she walks through the door of his office, dressed in yoga pants and one of his t-shirts.
When he looks up from setting two glasses of water on the table with the food, he finds her frozen a couple feet from the table, looking at the box beside her plate. "When were you going to tell me?" he says quietly, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice.
"Castle…" she starts but is unsure what else to say, how to explain to him that the tests were his daughter's when she had promised Alexis that she would not tell him.
"Kate, I know you did not take these tests since your undercover operation. You knew that you were pregnant, and you still went undercover."
Beckett takes a moment before replying, trying not to make things worse by yelling back at him. "Rick, before you start making accusations, I think you need to look at the evidence," she finally says, motioning to the box of tests. He frowns at her and opens his mouth to answer, but she stops him. "Castle, look at the tests."
He is still frowning as he pulls three used tests out of the box and examines them. "They're all negative… You're not pregnant," Rick says softly, putting the tests back in the box. He looks down at their dinner, trying not to let her see the disappointment on his face.
She takes the few steps needed to close the gap between them and reaches out for his hand, "Hey, I understand why you would be upset. I know that it was stupid of me to even go undercover, Castle. If I had been pregnant, I probably would have lost the baby with everything that happened. I would never have put our child risk like that, Rick."
"Were you going to tell me that you thought you were pregnant?" he asks, bringing his eyes up to meet hers.
Kate knows that she could easily lie to him and not let him find out that the tests are his daughter's, but she knows that there have been enough lies between them already. "I would've told you if I thought I was pregnant. But I'm on birth control. The tests aren't mine."
"Then whose are they?" he asks in confusion. After a moment, it dawns on him. "Alexis? She can't be pregnant; I raised her to be smarter than that. Wait…" he turns to his fiancé, "you told me to look at the tests. You knew they were negative."
She bites her lip before nodding, "Yes."
"She came to you about this?" Kate nods again. "I thought I was the cool dad that she could talk to about anything."
"She didn't want you to freak out. You're freaking out about this, and she's not even pregnant."
"Were you going to tell me about this?"
"It's not a big deal."
"You know Alexis; she's almost the perfect child. This is a big deal."
"No, it isn't."
"So this has happened to you?"
"You can't compare your daughter to me, Castle."
"Kate?"
She sighs, "Yes, Castle, when I was in college, I thought I was pregnant once. My mother was killed, and I got really drunk at this party because I thought that I wouldn't feel the pain if I was drunk. And the next morning, I woke up in some guy's bed. For about a month, my life pretty much consisted of getting drunk and sleeping with this guy because I didn't want to deal with her death. And then one day I realized that she would be ashamed of me if she knew what I was doing, that she wouldn't have wanted me to throw my life away. Weeks later when I realized that I was late I could hear her saying 'I told you so' in my head. The test was positive, Castle. I had a miscarriage a month later."
"I'm sorry I asked, Kate."
"Don't be. I made a mistake, same as Alexis. Just… don't lecture her about this, Rick. She won't make the same mistake again."
"Okay, I'll let her be," he smiles at his future wife. "Shall we eat now?" At her nod, he takes their plates to the kitchen and dishes out the spaghetti. She smiles gratefully at him as he sets a plate down in front of her. "Would like some wine? I didn't want to make you uncomfortable since I thought you were pregnant…"
"Actually… alcohol can make the PTSD worse; I learned that the hard way after I was shot. And… well, you were right there beside me last night. Water's fine, but you can have whatever you want."
He had been up half of the night with her, holding her after the nightmares. He had wanted to do more to help her, but he didn't know what else to do. She had assured him that just having him there with her made it better. "Water is good with me too."
Halfway through the meal, Castle sets his fork down. "I'm sorry I assumed that you were pregnant, that you would have put our child in danger like that. I guess I was just hoping that it was true, that we were going to have a baby."
"I assure that it wouldn't be a mistake if I got pregnant now. But… maybe we could wait until the wedding is over and things settle down?"
"You want kids? I thought you hated babies."
"I don't hate babies, Castle. I just… Whenever I imagine us a few years down the road, there are kids involved. And seeing you with Benny made me want that for us."
"Whatever you want, Kate." He picks up his fork again and continues eating his spaghetti, "Thank you for being there for Alexis when I couldn't."
"No problem; she's family now. And there are some things a girl just doesn't want to talk about with her father."
"You will always be extraordinary, Kate, and I'm glad that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you, Kate." he reaches for her hand.
"I love you too, Rick. And I promise you that I will let you know as soon as I think I am pregnant."
"And I can be there with you when you find out for sure?"
"You better be there for the whole thing, Castle."
"Oh, I will be, Beckett. Don't you worry about that."
