First Free! Fic! Yay!
This one was actually written as a chapter fic but then I decided to post it as a huge oneshot instead so...yeah...
Anywhore, I spent most of my time listening to the Free! OST and I got to say that Honest Feelings could have been a real good title for this fic (if you didn't know, the title of this story is the name of one of the songs from the first Free! OST disc)
ENJOY!
The sky is a bright blue and the clouds are white. The summer morning is beautiful and near perfect but one fatal flaws kills it: the annoying alarm buzzing and screeching near Makoto's head. He sighs deeply and shifts over to hit the snooze button and stares at the time for a moment. The green numbers mark 7:00AM and school starts in an hour. Though he is feeling particularly tired today, remembering the schedule draws a smile onto his face. Today's a fieldtrip day and they're going to the aquarium.
With newfound energy, Makoto pulls himself from his bed and gets dressed. He slips on a nice dress shirt with a green tie and black dress pants. He inspects himself in the mirror and laughs quietly to himself. He thinks he looks a lot like how he did when he still went to Iwatobi High. He reckons the clothes he's wearing today are rather similar.
When Makoto leaves his room, he's sure to gather everything he'll need for the day in his black suitcase and is sure to have his glasses this time. He paces through the kitchen, quickly snatching a loaf of bread and he's about to leave the apartment when he notices a note attached on the fridge. He debates reading it seeing as he doesn't have much time left before he misses his train and arrives late to work but does so anyway. The messages tend to be short anyhow and this one reads: "Have a good day."
Makoto smiles and tears the paper from beneath the magnet that held it up before dashing out the door. He locks the door in a hurry before he runs most of the way to the train station and narrowly misses his ride. Once he's on, he finds a seat without a problem and relaxes. Then, Makoto pulls out the paper and traces the letters with a soft smile on his face. He's not sure what kind of expression he's making but it seems to suggest something more than affectionate because the old woman next to him says: "Is that a letter your wife left for you? She has very beautiful handwriting."
Makoto laughs awkwardly and scratches the back of his head. He's not quite sure how to say it so he just says it bluntly, "I'm not married. I—"
"Well don't be wasting any time, young man!" the old woman interrupts. She's wagging her finger at him like he's a misbehaving child or something of the like, "I can tell she's a looker!"
"I don't have a girlfriend either—" Makoto says hastily to correct the misunderstanding. "It's a message my roommate left me. He's a man, so—"
"Oh, pardon me!" the old woman says and she seems very embarrassed, "I didn't know you were that sort of fellow…"
"I-I'm not." Makoto says with a sigh and fainting smile, "He just…he has very girly handwriting."
"You two must be very close then." The old woman concludes and the comment confirms that she indeed did read the message when Makoto was looking at it.
"We've been friends since we were children." Makoto smiles, "We even moved to Tokyo together once we finished High School and we got into the same University as well."
"Do you work the same job?" the old woman asks.
"No." Makoto laughs, "He works at the aquarium and I'm an educator. We still see each other every day, however, because we live together. Today my class is taking a trip to his work place and I think he was fairly excited though sometimes it's hard to tell."
"You sound like inseparable friends." The old woman chuckles.
"That's a good word for it." Makoto says and notices his stop is coming up. He stands and bows to the old woman as he says: "I'm sorry but I have to go, this is my stop."
"Have a good day." The old woman responds with a wide smile, "Thank you for entertaining an old woman."
Makoto leaves the train and from his stop, it's only a short walk to the school. He begins to eat the loaf of bread he neglected during the train ride and walk when he's stopped. He hears a stranger a few steps behind him say "excuse me, sir?" and when he turns to look at him, he nearly drops everything in his hands.
"Na…Nagisa?" he asks and, sure enough, the surprisingly tall blonde man before him is Nagisa Hazuki.
"Mako-chan!" he exclaims and doesn't waste any time jumping Makoto. He traps him in a tight hug and squeezes tightly, ignoring Makoto's choked gurgles and wheezes for a good minute before finally releasing him. "It's been so long! How have you been?"
"I've been great." Makoto replies and he's very glad to see Nagisa again but he glances over at a clock only to realize he doesn't have time to catch up with him.
"What's up?" Nagisa asks, "You seem kind of hurried…"
"I'm sorry," Makoto apologizes quickly, "I'd really like to talk but if we do, I'll be late for work—"
"You have a job?" Nagisa asks in awe, "That's so cool!"
"Thank you—" Makoto says with a laugh but he really needs to get going. The problem, however, is he doesn't want to be rude.
"Anyway, you're busy right now." Nagisa says and Makoto's so relieved he understands. The blonde pulls out a piece of paper and a pencil and scribbles something down on it as he continues to talk, "I'd really like to catch up when you're not busy so I'm writing down my number. Call me when you get the chance, okay?"
"I will." Makoto promises. He takes the paper and with a brief salute, he's running down the station to the nearest doors.
Makoto's stuck running the rest of the way to the school and his students are already neatly waiting in line when he arrives. Another teacher and her class are also waiting and she doesn't waste any time in schooling Makoto about his tardiness even though it's not as bad as it could have been. Makoto quickly and frantically apologizes and thanks her for taking care of his class. They then retreat within the building and Makoto unleashes the children to play with whatever toys they find in the classroom while he organizes himself.
He pops open his briefcase and sorts out his papers before grabbing a hold of the group list for the outing. The parents volunteering for the excursion are meant to arrive within an hour and so there was no point in trying to review some of their lessons. He briefly glances at the hoard of children laughing and playing a meter away and concludes they're far too energetic and hyper to learn anything today anyhow. So Makoto decides whatever they need to learn, they can do it tomorrow.
He settles himself comfortably in his chair and begins reviewing his papers when a small group of kids approach his desk. Judging by the expressions they're wearing, they seem to be in the midst of an argument in need of resolution. Makoto's glad they were intelligent enough to come to him rather than settle it with fights and name calling like other children their age would have.
"Makoto-sensei?" Sakura asks for the other three, "We have a problem."
"What's wrong?" Makoto says and leans closer.
Sakura takes a deep breath and points at a shorter girl, Yuka, "Yuka-chan says this," and she shows a white plastic beluga, "is a dolphin but Satoshi-kun says it's a beluga whale. I don't know a lot about oceans and animals so I don't know who's right and who's wrong."
"It was very good of you all to come to me before you started fighting." Makoto says and takes the toy from Sakura.
"Well, we sort of fought…" Satoshi admits, "But we apologized because Momo-chan took care of it."
"Yeah, she fixed the problem." Yuka adds.
"Good work, Momoko-chan." Makoto says and the little girl simply blushes and shrinks away shyly.
"So who's right?" Sakura asks, returning their attention to the problem at hand.
Makoto looks the figurine over before answering. "Well," he says and gives it back to Sakura, "I'm sorry to say, Yuka-chan, but Satoshi-kun's right. This is a beluga whale."
"How can you tell?" Sakura asks, examining the toy.
"Look at the beak," Makoto says and points at the toy's mouth, "It's very short, much shorter than a dolphin's. If you find the dolphin toy, you can compare for yourself. The head is also shaped differently and they live in the artic or sub-artic sea unlike the dolphin who can be found everywhere but mostly in shallower parts."
"That's cool." Momoko says, leaning over Sakura's shoulder to look at the toy.
"But they look like dolphins." Yuka comments disappointedly.
"A lot of people make that mistake." Makoto explains, "But they're different species from the same family."
"I don't understand." Yuka says.
"Like how cats and tigers are from the same family but dogs and cats aren't." Satoshi explains.
"Exactly." Makoto says and he's honestly impressed by their knowledge.
"You know a lot about beluga whales and other water animals, Makoto-sensei." Sakura says.
"It's because he's an adult." Satoshi states, "Adults know everything."
"That's not true." Momoko says, "You don't have to be an adult to know stuff."
"Settle down." Makoto says softly before they start fighting, "I know a lot about sea creatures because my friend is an expert."
Makoto tries not to laugh when their eyes become as big and wide as saucers. "An expert?" They repeat in awe.
"Yup." Makoto says with a proud smile, "He works at the aquarium and I think we'll see him today."
"Wow!" they exclaim rather loudly and it attracts more kids' attention.
"What does he do?" Yuka asks.
"He takes care of the animals." Makoto answers, "He spends a lot of time in the water making sure they're happy and healthy. Sometimes he races them for fun. He says he wins all the time."
"Whoa!" Satoshi exclaims.
"Is that true?" A little boy that added himself to the group asks from behind the others.
"I don't know." Makoto admits, "I've never seen him do it. Do you think he could?"
"No way!" Sakura says, "He doesn't have the flappies."
"Do you mean fins?" Makoto asks.
"Are those the flappies?" She asks and points at the toy's fins.
"Those are fins." Makoto says.
"Fins." She repeats at pokes at them absently for a moment, "Does he have fins?"
"No." Makoto laughs.
"Then how can he win if he doesn't have fins?" Satoshi asks.
"Maybe he has a tail." Momoko suggests.
"He doesn't have a tail either." Makoto laughs, "He's just human."
"Maybe he's a superhero." Another boy adds, "Superheroes can beat dolphins and whales in races."
The new group of children suddenly start rationalizing other possibilities before coming to the conclusion that being a superhero was the only way to win a race against a dolphin or a whale.
"You know," Makoto adds and he's mainly saying this to rile up the kids, "Lately he's been telling me that he's racing sharks."
The kids gape in disbelief and Makoto just wants to burst out laughing but he holds it in and watches as they start discussing the new information. It keeps them busy for a while – long enough for time to seemingly pass faster and the volunteer parents to start arriving. The children immediately begin to include them in their activities but they come to a fairly fast end when a teacher comes in to advise Makoto that the bus has arrived. He manages to gain control of the children rather quickly with the help of the volunteer adults and separates the groups accordingly. The kids move around quickly and they're soon on their way.
The bus ride is hectic and kids are shouting and jittering in their seats excitedly. Makoto and the parents let them be, however, seeing as they're not particularly disruptive enough to earn a stern schooling. The only time Makoto really tells them to quiet down is when the bus pulls up in the parking lot and the children cheer excitedly for their trip to begin. But, before they can leave, a worker from the aquarium hops on to run them through a few technicalities such as the proper behaviour they're expected to have and what they should do if they were ever to get lost.
Once that's all done, the kids leave the bus in a single file and follow Makoto into the building. They're struck by awe as they enter the establishment and spot the many plaster statues of stingrays, dolphins and jelly fishes hanging from the blue ceiling. Makoto can see they're all eager to explore and so doesn't hold them back too long. He tells them to meet in the cafeteria for lunch at 11:30AM and at the entrance to leave at 2:00PM. Then the kids are shepherded into their respective groups and lead away by the adults. Makoto has the pleasure of leading Sakura, Momoko, Yuka and Satoshi around the aquarium.
Their first stop is the deep-sea exhibit because Satoshi insisted on it. It's clear he wants to be seen as the macho man of the group but he ends up cowering behind Sakura for most of it. Makoto smiles at the irony but doesn't say anything. The girls are taking the words right out of his head as it is. The last thing they have the time to do is petting the stingrays near the entrance before they retire to the cafeteria and meet the other kids. They sit together and eat their lunches during which time Makoto checks in with the parents to see how things are going.
After wards, Makoto brings the kids to the main exhibit. They make their way through it slowly and take their time looking at the different types of creatures. Makoto then teaches them a bunch of cool facts about some of the things they see like how male seahorses are the ones who give birth to the babies or how a shrimp's heart is in it's head. They drink in the information and Makoto is happy to see them so enthusiastic about learning.
Then they get to a more open and cooler area. The walls around them are huge windows and Makoto explains that they're now in the middle of the aquarium. They can see the artificial coral reef built for the variety of creatures in the aquarium.
"What if the glass cracks?" Momoko asks worriedly.
"Don't worry." Makoto says, "This is very secure and nothing will break. If they thought it would, they wouldn't let people here."
The explanation seems to convince her and they slowly make their way through. It's clear that this is the favourite part of the aquarium for the kids. They love seeing the many colourful fishes swim next and over them frequently. They've also started to learn the names of some species which they shout out upon noticing them swim by. The underside of stingrays get them laughing the most. Thus they mosey through the aquarium before arriving to the part of the trip Makoto is looking most forward to.
They're back in the enclosed corridors outside the aquarium. The children voice their disappointment but are eager to see what else the place has in store for them. They quickly find themselves as excited as when they first entered the aquarium when they walk in a room with one large window through which they can see large sharks. The four of them dash to it and press their hands and faces against the glass while staring at the creatures in bewilderment.
"They're kind of scary." Satoshi comments.
"I think they're cute." Yuka states.
"These are nurse sharks." Makoto explains upon closer look, "They sleep during the day and hunt at night."
"Why are they awake now?" Sakura asks.
"Did you notice how dark this room is?" Makoto asks, "They think it's nighttime."
The kids go back to watching the sharks and Makoto takes a gander at his watch. It's nearly noon and it was around the time Makoto was told to be at the shark tank. He sighs and looks back at the kids when suddenly a loud splash is heard and the kids shout in surprise. Makoto looks over at the source and sees a diver has entered the nurse shark aquarium. He recognizes him immediately and smiles.
"That's dangerous!" Momoko says worriedly, "The sharks'll eat him!"
"Are you sure?" Makoto asks and then points at the aquarium.
The nurse sharks are circling the diver curiously. It's clear that they're examining him but that's suddenly over when one of them rushes the diver and the kids scream, thinking it's going to kill him. However, the shark simply snakes around him and leans into the diver's hand as he pets them. The others soon start fussing over him affectionately and push him around for their attention but never harm them. The kids start laughing and are far more entertained by the sharks than they had been before.
"They're like big dogs!" Satoshi laughs.
The diver then begins to play with them. He swims to the surface to grab a couple of fishes to get the sharks to the do tricks and rewards them accordingly. He turns them on their back, pets their bellies and kisses their heads.
"That man's so brave!" Sakura says, "He's not scared of sharks at all!"
The diver is soon out of fishes to give and so moves along with his task of mending the aquarium. The sharks follow him around and probe him for pets and food but all they receive is physical affection.
"Who is he?" Yuka asks.
"He's my friend." Makoto answers, "Haruka Nanase."
"The kids were really impressed with you today." Makoto comments as he enters the apartment.
Haruka is sitting at the table drinking tea and briefly looks at Makoto as he takes off his shoes. "Welcome home." He mumbles quietly.
"Thank you." Makoto says.
He makes a quick b-line to his room where he changes into more comfortable clothing and returns to the kitchen. A plate of cookies has suddenly appeared on the table and Haruka takes one to eat with his tea. Makoto almost things they're store-bought when he notices the dirty dishes resting in the sink. He smiles and gladly takes one of Haruka's cookies. He loves his cooking.
"Momoko-chan thought the sharks were going to eat you." Makoto laughs and takes out a cup and bag of leaves for tea.
"Baburu, Kaisō, Suna and Sheru would never harm me." Haruka says and Makoto can identify the scoff he makes at the seemingly ludicrous idea. "They're very nice."
Makoto laughs and pours the still very hot water into his cup and adds in the leaves. He stirs them around and leaves them to rest in the water as he brings it back to the table and takes another cookie. "Well it was very cool." Makoto says with a kind smile. He laughs when Haruka blushes and tries to dismiss the comment stoically.
They spend a moment in silence when Makoto suddenly remembers an encounter he had earlier this morning.
"Oh, guess who I met today?" Makoto says as he tries fishing out the paper Nagisa gave him. He takes out the message Haruka had left first and finally the one he was looking for and hands it over.
"Nagisa?" Haruka says, reading the paper before giving it back. "Why is he in Tokyo?"
"I don't know." Makoto answers, "I didn't have time to ask him. He wants to meet up and catch up. Maybe we can go tonight and eat out somewhere."
"I'm not going." Haruka declares bluntly.
"Why not?" Makoto asks quizzically, "Don't you want to catch up too? He's actually grown a lot and—"
"I said no." Haruka interrupts and though his tone is as monotone as it always is, Makoto knows he's on the verge of losing his patience out of irritation.
"Alright." Makoto says softly. He stands and gets the phone, he'll make the call on the porch, "If you ever change your mind," he adds, "You're always welcomed."
Haruka barely acknowledges the invite and Makoto decides to leave it at that. He doesn't want to start a fight between the two of them now.
Makoto meets Nagisa just outside a restaurant in center town. There are a lot of tourists walking by and Makoto has a hard time spotting Nagisa amidst their flock. However they do reach other and get a table without too long of a wait. They only really begin chatting once they're seated and Nagisa has a lot to say. He begins by telling Makoto he's in Tokyo for a short trip to visit his parents before he leaves on an exchange program to the US. He's in his last year of University and would have studied abroad beforehand but he was too careless and forgot until the last minute.
"Where would you like to work?" Makoto asks.
"The US would be great!" Nagisa says enthusiastically with a mouthful of rice, "I think it's the perfect place for me! It's bustling with life and it's always so exciting and all over the news!"
"I'm glad to see you so excited." Makoto says with a soft laugh, "Does that mean you're done with competitive swimming?"
"Yeah." Nagisa says regretfully, "I was part of the University team for a while but it requires so much dedication and time and between that and my studies, I barely had a life. Eventually it just slipped away from me."
"I'm sorry to hear that." Makoto says.
"I guess it is pretty sad." Nagisa reckons, "But swimming in University was really different from swimming with you and Haru-chan and Rei-chan back when we went to Iwatobi."
"How?" Makoto asks.
"Well, to put it simply, I wasn't swimming with you guys." Nagisa says with a wide smile, "Don't get me wrong, it was still fun for a while and I did make new friends but the comradery and passion wasn't all there. There was just this…emotion missing, this key thing we had – it's hard to explain."
"I can imagine." Makoto says understandingly.
"What about you?" Nagisa asks, "Do you still swim?"
"I stopped swimming when I moved to Tokyo." Makoto explains, "I decided not to be part of the swimming team and kept it that way through my four years there. I do teach a swimming class on my time off though."
"Just like you did all that time ago back home." Nagisa remembers with a fond smile, "That's so like you. What do you do now?"
"I'm an educator. I teach small children between the ages of four and five." Makoto says, "This morning you caught me on my way to work."
"That's cool." Nagisa says, "That means your work isn't all that far from where my parents now live. I could pop by some time seeing as I'm still here for a while longer."
"That would be great." Makoto says, "School ends at 3:00PM and I leave roughly thirty minutes after."
"Awesome, I'll come by then." Nagisa says and types the information in his phone for future references.
"So what about Rei-chan?" Makoto asks. "Do you still keep in contact with him?"
"Yeah," Nagisa says but the tone he's using suggests the answer is far more complicated, "We sort of had a bit of a falling out not long ago."
"What happened?" Makoto asks.
"It was about my exchange program." Nagisa explains, "He didn't want me to go this year because it was our last year. It's really dumb and I'll make sure to fix it before I go."
"That's good then." Makoto says and he's a bit relieved, "How are his studies going?"
"Would you believe he has a good job already waiting for him?" Nagisa asks with a smirk.
"No way!" Makoto exclaims with a laugh.
"Yup!" Nagisa confirms, "Some big shot company recruited him after he finished his internship there. He could have quit the second they offered him the position but he wanted to finish his program first and the company's totally fine with it."
"That's great." Makoto says, "Tell him I say congratulations for me."
"I will." Nagisa says. He pauses and takes a sip of his drink before continuing. "So you've been working for how long now?"
"Two years." Makoto says, "The first year, I was an assistant teacher, learning how to manage in the field and the next the school hired me."
"That's a pretty lucky streak you got there." Nagisa comments, "How do you like working with children?"
"They're surprisingly smart, you know?" Makoto says with a smile and remembers the many times his students surprised him, "Most people think that because they're young they don't know any better but that's far from true. Of course, they still do need to be kept in line more times than not."
"Kids will be kids." Nagisa laughs. "Speaking of kids…"
Makoto nearly spits out his gulp of water which causes Nagisa to start laughing hysterically.
"I was just going to ask if you had a girlfriend!" He says when his laughing finally dies down. "What did you think I was going to say?"
"N-nothing." Makoto brushes off with an awkward chuckle, "Anyway, I don't have a girlfriend. I went out with a couple of girls a few times during University but it never worked out."
"How come?" Nagisa asks, "You're the best boyfriend material out there!"
"That's flattering." Makoto laughs, "I don't know. I know a few of them were bothered by Haru—" and Makoto interrupts himself but it's too late.
"Haru-chan!?" Nagisa asks excitedly. "You're still in touch with Haru-chan!?"
"Y-yeah…" Makoto says awkwardly, his mind is racing through excuses he could give Nagisa as to why Haruka isn't with them.
"Why didn't you invite him?" Nagisa asks.
"I did." Makoto says, "He was just too tired."
Nagisa clearly looks disappointed and Makoto isn't sure if it's because he sees through his lie or if it's something else. "Oh," he says, "That sucks."
"Maybe you'll see him some other time." Makoto suggests, "You did say you were here for a while longer."
"Yeah…" Nagisa mumbles. He seems rather distant in the moment and Makoto is about to ask about that when suddenly he's back to full vigor. "So what's he up to now?"
"He takes care of the animals at the aquarium. He also does a few shows here and there with them." Makoto answers, "Today I brought my class there on a field trip and we saw him play with the sharks."
"That's so cool!" Nagisa exclaims.
"The kids thought so too." Makoto chuckles.
"So that means he studied animals in University…?" Nagisa asks.
"Marine biology." Makoto corrects.
"I never thought he'd get into something like that." Nagisa comments.
"Neither did I but it makes sense." Makoto muses, "Haru is very passionate about water and he understands it in a way we don't. The animals Haru works with, however, probably share his emotions because the water is their home. He probably shares a bond he was never able to share with anyone else with them and I'm really happy for him."
"You still haven't lost your touch." Nagisa chuckles.
"What do you mean?" Makoto asks.
"You always seem to understand Haru-chan the best." Nagisa grins. "It's like you're his soul mate or something."
Makoto blushes violently and jolts back, "W-what?" he stutters, embarrassed, "That's really out of nowhere…!"
"It's a thought I always had." Nagisa laughs, "Hey," and he's a bit more serious now, "Didn't you get into a fight with Haru-chan just before the end of third year?"
"Oh," Makoto says and remembers the events, "Yeah. We did."
"I didn't think you guys had fixed it." Nagisa says, "That's why I was a bit surprised when you said you were still in touch with him."
Makoto smiles at that, "He's my best friend." He says, "I wasn't going to part ways with him on bad terms."
"But you never did part ways." Nagisa points out.
Makoto huffs, "I guess we didn't."
Five years ago, Makoto stood on a hill overlooking the ocean with Haruka. The latter had left after Nagisa and Rei had told him how they wanted him to pursue competitive swimming like Rin and hidden himself there for an hour. Makoto would have joined him sooner but he knew Haruka needed time to think and sort things out on his own. When he did join him, Makoto figured he would also tell Haruka about how he felt in regards to his expressed indifference in the face of the future. It wasn't good and it worried him a lot.
Naturally, Haruka felt as though everyone was teaming up against him and responded negatively. He wanted to cut the conversation short and though he tried to walk away, Makoto didn't. He caught him before he could get too far and told him what he thought. He told Haruka how he wished for him to pursue a dream – and it didn't have to be the same as Rin's, it could be whatever he wanted it to be as long as it made him happy. He told Haruka how his indifference was worrisome and he couldn't wait any longer to make a decision because the future was then and his time was up.
Haruka had simply retorted that Makoto had been in no position to condescend him about making life choices when he himself hadn't decided what he would do with his future. It was then that Makoto was forced to tell Haruka that he had already decided what he would do. He told him he was going to University in Tokyo and would probably end up working for a firm or something akin to that. The hurt that took over Haruka's features was a sight forever engraved in Makoto's mind. He knew he should have told him before but every opportunity had been foiled one way or another and the revelation could only have been made then.
The fireworks they had meant to see that night had ironically started then. A couple of them exploded before Haruka came back to and ran off. It was clear that he felt betrayed and abandoned but there was nothing Makoto could do. They had to face reality and part of that was growing up. The school year was ending, they were going to graduate soon, he didn't have a choice.
Makoto nonetheless still ran after Haruka. He nearly lost him a couple of times but ultimately knew where he would end up. Haruka was waist deep in the cold ocean when Makoto finally caught up with him. He ran to him but only stopped when the water hugged his ankles.
"Haru!" Makoto called, "Haru, come back!"
"Go away!" Haruka hissed, "Leave! Go to Tokyo, I don't care!"
"Haru!" Makoto tried again, "It's not like that, you don't understand—"
"You're going to Tokyo to study, what else is there to understand?" Haruka fired back angrily, "Now go away!"
Makoto debated submerging himself further in the cold water but did so anyway. He soon got to Haruka's side but the latter moved a few steps further and so he decided to just stay put and talk from there.
"I don't understand," Makoto said, "Why don't you just respond to one of the scouts?"
"Because I don't want to, I don't care!" Haruka snapped.
"But you love swimming!" Makoto said, "You'd be swimming all the time if you just—"
"I only swim free!" Haruka interrupted and spun to face Makoto. He could see the hurt and sadness in his eyes now.
"You can swim free!" Makoto said though it was evident he didn't understand what Haruka meant, "The University you choose won't make you swim anything else, it's your best form!"
"No." Haruka said coldly and turned away.
Makoto sighed in exasperation, "Why not?"
"Because there's no point." Haruka responded and that last part was pretty quiet.
"How?" Makoto asked.
Haruka was very quiet then. He didn't say a word for the longest time and Makoto was beginning to think he was just going to ignore the question. But Haruka turned to face him for the last time that night and said to him:
"Because there's no point if you're not with me."
When Makoto returns home, the lights are out and Haruka is likely sleeping. He's a bit tipsy because he's had a few glasses of alcohol but he tries to be as quiet as he can all the same. However, just as he's walking through the kitchen, the light turns on and Haruka is standing just outside his room with an unimpressed expression. Makoto smiles sheepishly but that doesn't get him out of anything. Haruka seats him at a table and gives him a glass of water to drink and dilute the alcohol in his blood.
"That's really careless of you." Haruka comments as he watches Makoto drink the glass in an instant.
"It's fine," Makoto brushes the problem away the way he does whenever he's under the influence, "I don't have school tomorrow. It's the weekend."
"That's no excuse." Haruka says, "You still have swimming classes to teach."
"Urgh." Makoto groans and drops his face on the table. He mumbles something inaudibly and Haruka doesn't ask about it. He just takes the glass and fills it with water again.
"You're going to have a hangover in the morning." Haruka states.
"I'm not even drunk." Makoto defends but he still takes the glass of water and drinks it rather quickly.
Haruka resumes his seat at the table and watches him quietly. Silence falls upon them and Makoto feels a bit awkward. "Don't you have work tomorrow?" he asks.
"I start at noon." Haruka says.
"Shouldn't you still be resting?" Makoto asks.
"I'll be fine." Haruka states, "I didn't get drunk."
"I'm not drunk!" Makoto defends again, though he supposes the claim he makes is one a drunk man would make. He decides to just drop the matter, it's not that important.
"Nagisa was disappointed you weren't there." Makoto says, "I said you were busy but I think he knew I was lying."
Haruka doesn't say anything. He turns his gaze to the window and gazes at the sky or the lamppost – Makoto isn't sure. He stares at him for a moment as he is, part of his face is shrouded in darkness and though his look is focused his eyes state that he's somewhere far away. Makoto wonders if he's remembering something or if he's just lost in his head. Heaven knows Haruka is very closed in on himself. Makoto might understand him better than anyone but he struggles more than one would think with getting the least bit of information from his best friend. He doesn't even know why they're still friends or sharing the same apartment. They never resolved the fight they had five years ago.
"Haru…ka…" Makoto says slowly – a part of him now supposes he might be a little more than tipsy after all. Haruka looks back at him and he's evidently surprised to hear his full name, "Why are we still…? Why haven't we left each other?"
Haruka stares at him quietly and then says, "You're drunk."
"I mean it." Makoto insists, "Nagisa asked about that fight five years ago and it got me thinking that we never resolved it."
Haruka pauses for a moment and Makoto can tell he's uncomfortable with the topic – he just can't bring himself to care. "You're drunk." Haruka repeats.
"I remember we didn't talk for weeks." Makoto continues, "I thought I was going to leave for Tokyo and never get to fix our problem. But then, the next thing I know, you were accepted in the same University."
"You're…" Haruka starts but then trails off. He sighs and stands, "You're tired. You need to go to bed."
"Maybe." Makoto admits and he sits up, "But I want my answers."
"Why does it matter?" Haruka asks quietly, "This happened five years ago."
"I want to know." Makoto insists, "I want to know how we got here. I want to know if there's another reason as to why you didn't want to go meet Nagisa with me."
Haruka flinched at the last comment. "Why would you…?" He asks. "Did Nagisa…?"
"If something happened between the two of you before we left, he didn't say anything." Makoto says, "But it's obvious that there's something else happening and neither of you is saying. He said he was staying in Tokyo for a while longer and I suggested we meet up with you as well whenever we all had the time. And though he agreed, he still asked me all the questions about you as though he knew he would never get to ask them himself."
"You're…you're strange when you're drunk." Haruka comments and he makes a move to help Makoto up but the latter refuses him.
"Stop using that as an excuse." Makoto says and his patience is running thin, "Just tell me what happened. Tell me why you came to Tokyo with me and stopped swimming. Tell me why you won't meet with Nagisa. Tell me why you're here."
"No." Haruka answers sternly.
"Why not?" Makoto nearly snaps; he's very irritated.
"Because I said no." Haruka states.
"You can't expect me to be fine with that." Makoto says, "Because of you my life is so different than what it could have been."
"How?" Haruka asks and his tone is now cold and somewhat aggressive.
"I could be living with Yukiko-chan or Akira-chan or even Yoko-chan." Makoto says and he stands up abruptly to meet Haruka's eyes, "Maybe I could be thinking of proposing to one of them! Maybe, if we were still together, three years from now we'd be married! And maybe we'd be thinking of having children or maybe she'd be pregnant already!"
"What does this have to do with me!?" Haruka snaps, "They broke up with you."
"They broke up with me because of you!" Makoto snaps back, "They always said I spent too much time with you and not enough with them! They always said I kept putting you first over them and they didn't like that! They said they wanted a boyfriend who would commit to the relationship just as much as they would and I didn't because of you!"
"Don't blame me for your failed relationships!" Haruka growls.
"Those are facts, Haruka!" Makoto states, "It's the last thing all three of them ever told me!"
"If I really bother you that much, Makoto," Haruka says coldly, "Then I'll leave."
And without waiting for his response, Haruka walks back to his room. Makoto watches the door close behind him and releases a sigh. He feels like a terrible friend but he is angry and it's not fair that Haruka keeps things like that from him. So he walks to his room and goes to bed in his clothes. He'll deal with everything the next morning.
The sound of Makoto's alarm is loud and annoying as usual. He turns it off and sits in his bed. He still feels very tired and has a small headache coming on but it's nothing a couple of pills can't fix. He stumbles out of his room with a fresh towel and makes his way to the bathroom. He pauses on the way to gaze at Haruka's room and the door's still closed. The guilt he felt from last night is still present and though he wants to address the topic Haruka wanted to avoid, he wasn't about to wake his friend up. He's going to wait until he gets back home from work or something. So he walks in the bathroom to take a quick shower.
Makoto almost falls asleep beneath the relaxing water raining over his body and enveloping in the most comfortable sensation of warmth. He washes his hair and steps out and feels much more awake all of a sudden. He dries himself with the towel before rapping it around his waist and leaving the bathroom with a thick cloud of steam following him. He halts when he sees Haruka sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea and suddenly feels a bit awkward about his undressed state.
"Good morning." Haruka says quietly.
"Good morning." Makoto responds awkwardly. He doesn't know how he's supposed to treat Haruka what with the argument of the previous night. He thinks Haruka might assume he doesn't remember anything because he was drunk – which he wasn't – and so is in a position where he can drop everything and let things go back to normal or fight for his answers.
"Are you just going to keep standing there naked?" Haruka asks.
The comment snaps Makoto out of his thoughts and he rushes to his room quickly to pull some clothes on. He quickly grabs his bag and shoves in his bathing suit before exiting his room and looking through the kitchen for things to eat. They don't have much food left and some other things have already expired in the fridge. Makoto reckons he'll have to go grocery shopping soon and clean the kitchen thoroughly.
"How are you feeling?" Haruka asks.
Makoto takes a slice of bread again which he decides to toast. "I'm fine." He says, "I had a small headache but I took some medicine."
"That's good." Haruka says and takes a sip of his tea.
"I…I remember everything, Haru." Makoto says and he sees Haruka tense at the statement, "And I still want my answers."
Haruka seems to want to say something – most likely refuse him the answers again – but rather than say anything, he shuts his mouth and remains quiet. When he says nothing for a couple of minutes, Makoto realizes he's attempting to just ignore the problem. He sighs disappointedly and simply decides to let Haruka have his way. He knows how stubborn his friend is when he doesn't want to do something. So he takes his slice of toast and eats it quickly because he has to go teach his swimming classes soon.
"Drop it, Makoto." Haruka says just as he makes his way for the door. "You don't want to know."
Makoto pauses next to the door and stares at him sadly. He already knew Haruka wanted him to stop pestering him with questions but hearing him say it just brings on a new level of discontent. He and Haruka are supposed to be best friends and they've been together their whole life. Best friends are supposed to trust each other enough to convey their deepest secrets to one another and so Makoto wonders why Haruka can't do it as well.
Without saying another word he walks out the door and looks at the time. He's going to be late for his train again if he doesn't run. So Makoto runs.
When Makoto comes back from work, it's an hour past noon and the house is vacant. Haruka has left for his shift at the aquarium and he's likely going to play with the nurse sharks and tell Makoto about his day like nothing ever happened. The thought of it makes Makoto uncomfortable but he knows he'll probably let it happen. In any case, he decides it's best to preoccupy himself with something else and they're running out of food so Makoto will make a trip to the grocery store. He puts on a more comfortable shirt and sorts his things away before leaving and just when he takes a step outside the apartment, he receives a text message.
Nagisa wants to hang out and seeing as Makoto doesn't have anything else planned for the day, he takes him up on his invite. He tells Nagisa to come meet him at the grocery store and gives him the directions to reach the neighbourhood with the train. He waits a couple of minutes outside the store before Nagisa finally reaches him to assist him in collecting whatever needed to be purchased.
"How was class?" Nagisa asks as he pushes the cart behind Makoto.
"It was good." Makoto responds, "We did relay and the kids love it."
"Oh wow," Nagisa laughs, "That brings back memories."
"Doesn't it?" Makoto agrees with a chuckle, "A couple of them want to participate in a club tournament. I was really reminded of the first couple of times we raced together."
"I'd really love to see that." Nagisa sighs, "But I'll probably be in the US by then."
They walk through the store and Makoto fills the cart rather quickly with boxed and canned goods, fruits and vegetables, rice and some fish.
"Mackerel?" Nagisa laughs.
"It's the only sort of meat Haru will eat." Makoto says.
"I didn't know you lived with him." Nagisa says and puts the fish back in the cart.
"Didn't I mention it yesterday?" Makoto asks; he's sure he must have mentioned it at some point.
"Nope." Nagisa says with a grin, "Guess you were too consumed with the liquor!"
"I-I was not!" Makoto says – he doesn't understand why Nagisa and Haruka think he was drunk. He didn't have that much to drink…or did he?
"Anyway," Nagisa says and looks over the nearly overflowing cart, "How are you going to carry all of this home?"
"You're going to help me." Makoto declares.
"What?" Nagisa asks and to Makoto's surprise he seems more concerned about something than outraged at having been brought along as a pack mule. "Is that okay? I won't be bothering Haru-chan…?"
"Haru's at work right now." Makoto says slowly, "He'll be back at around 7:00PM or 7:30PM."
"Oh," and Nagisa seems relieved, "Okay."
"Why would it matter?" Makoto asks suspiciously.
"O-oh, it wouldn't!" Nagisa says a bit too quickly and then adds a nervous laugh, "I just didn't want to intrude. The invitation was unexpected so I thought it might bother Haru-chan but he's not there so…"
"Even if he was," Makoto says and leads the way to the cash registers, "You two are friends. It wouldn't have mattered."
"Yeah…" Nagisa agrees with a fainting laugh and then mumbles almost inaudibly: "Friends…"
Makoto pays for the load of food he bought and he and Nagisa carry it back to the apartment. The walk is rather short in general but is painful to their arms after a while. Once Makoto manages to open the door, they rush to the kitchen and dump the bags on the table and take a short breather. Makoto invites Nagisa to take a seat at the table while he cleans the kitchen.
"This is a pretty nice place." Nagisa comments while looking around curiously, "I bet it's pretty expensive though."
"A bit." Makoto admits while throwing out expired food, "But seeing as Haru and I both have good jobs, it's not much of a hassle to pay."
"I hope I'm as lucky as you two are when I move out." Nagisa says.
"Aren't you already living on your own?" Makoto asks, "Your parents did move to Tokyo."
"Yeah but they're still paying for my house and everything." Nagisa says with a sheepish grin, "I only have to pay for myself when I graduate."
"That's great." Makoto says, "You're very lucky you get the opportunity to focus more on your studies thanks to your parents."
The two continue to chitchat as Makoto cleans the kitchen. When he finishes, he makes some snacks and joins Nagisa at the table. They get consumed by their conversations and barely see the time pass. Before they know it, it's time for supper and Makoto offers Nagisa to stay.
"I don't think that's a good idea…" Nagisa says.
"It's fine." Makoto says and he's getting the feeling that there's something important he doesn't know again. "Haru won't mind. He'll be happy to see you."
"I know but…" Nagisa pauses and it's pretty obvious he's looking for a clever lie Makoto won't be able to refute. "My parents, they—"
"Nagisa." Makoto interrupts sharply, he's suddenly at his wit's end, "What happened between you and Haru?"
"W-what?" Nagisa stutters nervously, "Nothing! I swear!"
"That's not true." Makoto states, "If everything was fine, you'd have supper here without concerning yourself with Haru's return."
"I'm not!" Nagisa states but it's clearly a lie.
"Then stay for supper." Makoto conditions and he knows he's got Nagisa trapped. Either he'll refuse and be stuck telling the truth or he'll stay and the fact that something happened between the two will be made more evident.
"F…Fine." Nagisa gives in.
"Good." Makoto smiles and he's never felt this victorious in a while, "I'll start making supper. Would you mind setting up the table?"
Makoto cooks kare raisu to the best of his ability and makes a side of mackerel for Haruka and Nagisa. He doesn't typically cook seeing as he's not particularly skilled but he does so anyhow every now and again when Haruka can't. His food, however, is never out of the ordinary and it's disgusting more times than not. But Nagisa constantly floats around the sauce he's cooking and staring at it greedily which tells Makoto that this is one of the rarer times where he's successfully cooked a dish.
It's nearly 7:00PM when Makoto finishes cooking everything but he leaves it on the stove to keep warm until Haruka returns. In the meanwhile, Makoto takes out a small platter of sushi he bought at the store and so beer to consume while they wait. Makoto is surprised but doesn't say anything when Nagisa downs two cans in a short amount of time. It's more than obvious that he's nervous and uncomfortable and it bothers Makoto that he doesn't want to explain why.
"Slow down, Nagisa." Makoto says instead, "You'll get sick at that rate."
"Sorry…" He mumbles but still takes a third can. He doesn't open it yet.
"Nagisa…" Makoto tries, "Did something happen between you and Haru before we left for Tokyo?"
The alcohol seems to have loosened Nagisa's tongue a bit and he hesitates for a moment before answering. "Yeah," he admits, "but it's not that important. Don't worry about it."
"That's a bit hard to do when you're drinking so much so quickly." Makoto states. "You can tell me what happened. I won't judge either of you or pick sides."
Nagisa opens his can of beer and chugs roughly half of it. He's bothered and wants to say something, that much is blatant. He glances back at the door and then at the time. What he has to say definitely concerns Haruka and the latter will likely be angry if he catches Nagisa saying anything about it – or so Makoto assumes.
"It's about that fight you had with him five years ago." Nagisa says, "You remember how you stopped talking for weeks? Well, Rei and I didn't want to leave it like that. We didn't want you to be mad at each other so we went to talk with him. The first time it flopped big time and Rei gave up. But I went back a second time."
"What happened?" Makoto asks.
Nagisa glances at the time and he's clearly nervous about adding anything more. "I don't know how, but I got him to open up." He says, "He told me why he got so angry when he learned you had already signed up for that University in Tokyo. And then, when he calmed down, he made me promise not to tell you."
"Why?" Makoto asks, confused.
"Because if you ever learned why you'd hate him." Nagisa says and he seems sad, "At least, that's what he thinks. I don't know whether that's true or not but, because he knows you better, I figured he was right."
Makoto feels nervous and never has his curiosity been tugged as much as this. He wants to know. "Well what's the reason?" Makoto asks, "I'll tell you how I feel then."
Nagisa shakes his head, "No." he says, "I can't tell you. I promised and it's not my place to say. And even though I didn't tell you, I think I already told you too much as it is. Don't ask about it anymore, okay?"
Makoto is frustrated by what Nagisa is asking of him. He thinks it's more than unfair considering he's very much involved in what happened. He thinks he deserves to know why Haruka was so mad at him about leaving for Tokyo and the fact that even after five years anyone refuses to tell him anything just irritates him. It's not fair because he wants to know how he got where he now is and no one's telling him.
At that same moment, Haruka enters the apartment. He pauses in the door way and stares at Nagisa in surprise. He's not sure how to react but seeing Makoto there as well puts him in a difficult position. He can be angry and ask Nagisa to leave but Makoto would inevitably want to know why or he can pretend everything is okay and suffer through the night. He decides to go with the latter option as does Nagisa but Makoto is too riled up to pretend they're not pretending.
"Haruka." Makoto says sternly and pulls out a chair for him, "Sit down. Now."
Haruka looks between Makoto and Nagisa confused but his gaze ultimately rests on the blonde. Confusion quickly contorts itself into accusation and anger as he realizes what must have happened while he was absent. Haruka frowns and can't repress the growing anger surging through him, "You…You told him?" he growls.
"I didn't!" Nagisa declares quickly and jumps to his feet. "I swear I didn't!"
"Then why are you here!?" Haruka practically yells.
"He invited me over!" Nagisa defends, "I tried to say no but he cornered me! I had no other choice! But I swear I didn't tell him!"
"Tell me what!?" Makoto snaps and he hits the table angrily. The loud sound resounds in his ears after provoking such an abrupt silence. "What's happening!? Why won't either of you tell me anything? Do you not trust me?"
"It's not that, Mako-chan—" Nagisa tries.
"Then what is it!?" Makoto asks impatiently, "What happened five years ago!?" He turns to Haruka because the following questions are more for him than Nagisa. "Why were you so angry that I had decided what I would go to Tokyo? Why did you tell Nagisa but not me? Why can't you still tell me regardless of how far in the past that event was?"
Haruka is torn. He's at a loss of what to do and he hopelessly looks at Nagisa for help but the latter has nothing to offer. So he stands quietly and looks at his feet, hoping Makoto will drop it like he always tends to do.
"Don't." Makoto says after a few moments. His voice isn't as fired up as it was a few seconds ago and it's obvious that the reason for that is the wave of disappointment and hurt crashing over him, "Don't just keep quiet, Haruka. I deserve to know why I'm here right now."
"You don't want to know—"
"Of course I do!" Makoto snaps, "If I didn't I wouldn't be asking! Just tell me!"
"Mako-chan—"
"Don't you start!" Makoto snaps at Nagisa and he shrinks back immediately. He looks back at Haruka who seems to be stunned in silence. "Don't expect me to pretend this never happened." Makoto says, "I can't and I won't."
Strangely, Haruka's eyes begin to water. Makoto doesn't know how to react because the emotions surging through his blue eyes were so unexpected. He's never seen Haruka cry and he's not sure he wants to now that he's on the verge.
"You'll hate me…" He says quietly and his voice is choked.
"You don't know that." Makoto says. "Why would I?"
"Because…it's disgusting." Haruka says and he bites his lip to keep the tears from falling down his face.
Makoto doesn't like seeing him like this and immediately regrets everything he said to bring them to this current moment. He wants to drop it but it's far too late now. He should have just listened to them when they told him it was definitely something he didn't want to hear.
"I-it's not!" Nagisa objects but then shrinks back, "Sorry…"
"What is it…Haru?" Makoto insists.
"I…" he hesitates, "I…I love…you."
Three simple words and Makoto has trouble registering them. He stares at Haruka dumbly as though he's expecting something more – something else – but he says nothing and he waits with the most ashamed expression on his face. Makoto looks over at Nagisa who's also averting his gaze but just seems sorry for Haruka.
"What?" Makoto says because he doesn't know what else to do.
"I told you it was disgusting." Haruka says.
"What do you mean?" Makoto asks and he hopes he doesn't sound anything but neutral or confused because he doesn't want to give off a negative impression. It doesn't seem to work because Haruka flinches something terrible and takes a step back towards the door. Makoto can see him trembling like a leaf and it makes his heart race in even more confusion because he's not getting any further explanations. "What do you mean, Haru?"
Haruka takes another step back and he's now pressed against the door. It's a good thing too because his legs look like they'll give out if he tries to support himself on them. In any case, it's clear to Makoto that Haruka's on the verge of having an anxiety attack and this one is probably much worse than he one he had during that 100 meter freestyle race five years ago. But he doesn't understand why the situation is escalating so fast because he still doesn't understand what Haruka means by his confession.
"Haru—" Makoto takes a step forward and that seems to be what snaps Haruka into action.
In short seconds, Haruka's out of the apartment with the door shut behind him. It takes Makoto and Nagisa a moment to realize that he's gone before they rush to the door and the railing on the outer balcony where they spot Haruka running away. Makoto calls after him but he doesn't look back and keeps running. He quickly loses sight of him and now he really doesn't know what to do.
What's happening!?
"What are you waiting for!?" Nagisa snaps at him and Makoto couldn't look more confused, "He's your best friend! Go after him!"
"I don't understand what's happening…" Makoto breathes out shakily. He stumbles back into the apartment and sits down at the table.
"What do you mean you don't understand!?" Nagisa asks and he keeps looking back at the door as though he just wants to run out as well, "What is there to not understand!?"
"Everything." Makoto says and buries his face in his hands, "I don't even know what he just said to me…"
"He told you he loves you!" Nagisa snaps impatiently, "Now if you're really his best friend, you won't care that he likes men and you'll go after him to tell him it's okay!"
"He…he what…?" Makoto asks dumbly.
Nagisa frowns and he also seems like he's on the verge of crying. "He loves you!" he repeats, "He loves you so much! You want to know why he was so angry you were going to Tokyo to study? It was because you were making him choose between you and swimming! And you know what he told me that time where I got him to tell me everything? He said there was no point in swimming if you weren't by his side! So that's why he quit swimming too and followed you to Tokyo!"
Love.
The word bounces around in Makoto's head and he hears it as clear as day but he can't quite understand it in the given moment. But the more he thinks about it, the more he remembers things he always dismissed in the past. He remembers the many times Haruka crashed the dates he had with girls and how angry they always were at the end of the night. He remembers just telling the girls it was fine but they never agreed. The few who did eventually did become his girlfriends but they always left him because of Haruka. They told him they didn't like how Makoto invited him to their dates more times than not and how most of the quality time they spent shouldn't have to have been with Haruka too. And Makoto remembers telling them every time that it was fine and they were exaggerating. When Yoko broke up with him a few years back, he remembers her telling him something along the lines of: "I wish you the best of luck with your boyfriend."
All of the girls Makoto ever dated always left him because of Haruka. Maybe they were really exaggerating and only one seemingly ever hinted to a possibility of romantic feelings between the two but the more Makoto remembers the past five years, the more he remembers other hints. He remembers Yukiko comparing Haruka very often to a wife or Makoto's ideal woman. Makoto always saw it as a friendly jest but now that he's reconsidering it, he remembers that Yukiko was always very…cold whenever she made the comments. As for Akira, she had often excused herself whenever she came over under the excuse to wanting to give them some "quality time". She too, now that Makoto thought about it, was never blatantly teasing like he had assumed she was; in fact, she always seemed upset.
How could he have been so blind?
It was like everyone knew except for him. And though those were only realization in regards as to what pushed his past girlfriends to dump him, more came flooding in about Haruka specifically. The messages he always left behind in neat writing to wish Makoto a good day, the lack of personal space whenever they sat on their couch to watch television or when they walked together outside, the many times Haruka deliberately showed his distaste in regards to the women Makoto frequented – now that he thinks about it, Haruka never liked any of his girlfriends – and many more things should have tipped him off. He doesn't know or understand why it took a confession to have him recognize it.
"Oh my god…" Makoto mumbles and he feels himself blushing madly.
"Is it really just sinking in now!?" Nagisa cries desperately. "You have to go after him!"
But Makoto isn't quite up to speed yet. His mind is now focused on the newly registered information. Haruka loves him. Haruka has loved him for at least the past five years and he didn't know the entire time. He doesn't know how he quite feels in regards to that but it's making his heart flutter and his stomach twist weirdly.
"Haru…" Makoto mumbles.
Nagisa throws his hands in the air exasperatedly and paces around the kitchen, glancing at the door frequently. He doesn't know whether he's going to be stuck looking for Haruka on his own or not and, if he is, Nagisa already knows he's not going to find him. All he can do is hope he won't do anything stupid wherever he's running to.
"Haru!" Makoto suddenly exclaims and now he's finally up to speed with everything. He jumps out of his seat and dashes for a pair of shoes he slips on quickly. "I have to find him!"
And he doesn't wait for Nagisa when he dashes out the door and runs down the stairwell. He approximately remembers in which direction in saw Haruka running but he knows that lead is incredibly feeble. What with all the time that passed, Haruka is probably too far away to be found. Makoto doesn't even know where to look. They might have lived in their apartment for five years but they never really got around to explore the city and find their favourite spots. They only knew where the University was, how to get it and how to get to their jobs.
Makoto stops running when he's hit a street corner he wants to cross. There are surprisingly a lot of people walking around and they're all looking at him strangely. They're probably wondering why he's so out of breath and why he's looking around frantically but Makoto doesn't care. He just wants to find Haruka.
If they were back home, Makoto would know exactly where to look. He knew every place Haruka would ever run to for refuge against the world or to just be left in peace because he shared all of those places with him. He would either be at the shrine on top of the hill or at the pier. Both of the places had one thing in common: the ocean. From the shrine Haruka could see the ocean and, at the pier, he could actually go in. He only ever went to the latter place if he was in real need of comfort. But Tokyo is different and there's nowhere Haruka can go to find refuge in water that's conveniently close.
Except…
Makoto makes it to the aquarium not as quickly as he would have liked. The parking lot is vacant but there's still light shining through the doors. He can see a figure in the large glass windows which he quickly makes out to be the security guard locking down the building. Makoto immediately rushes to it and tries to open the door desperately but it's too late. He nonetheless bangs against the door to get the security guard's attention which he thankfully does.
"I'm sorry sir but this establishment is closed." The man says, "You'll have to come back tomorrow when it's open."
"No, you don't understand!" Makoto says breathlessly, "My friend, he works here, I think he might be here and I need to see him—"
"I'm sorry but—"
"Please!" Makoto begs desperately, "His name is Haruka Nanase! Did you see him come in!?"
The security guard pauses and seems to consider continuing the conversation with Makoto. Makoto hopes he'll at least answer his question before he decides to ignore him. Even if the answer is yes, he'll be satisfied and wait for Haruka to come out because he knows he'll have to at some point. But the man is kinder than Makoto anticipates and he's very thankful for that.
"Yeah, I saw him come in." he says, "He was really upset. I think I could see him crying."
"Could you please let me in?" Makoto asks and he knows he's asking for too much but he has to try, "Please. This is really important."
The security guard hesitates but he ultimately unlocks the door and lets Makoto in. "I'm not supposed to do this." The man says, "But I was pretty worried and he was also headed for the shark tank. I can't let you in the back but maybe you can see him from the exhibition."
"Thank you so much!" Makoto thanks and soon he's running off.
The halls are dark for the most part and he almost bumps into a couple of walls but he makes it to the shark tank in one piece. Sure enough, the security guard's guess was right and Makoto can see Haruka in the aquarium with the sharks. They're cuddling him with even more affection than he saw the previous day and Haruka seems to welcome it gladly. He's not wearing his full diving equipment like he's supposed to, in fact, he's just wearing his swimming jammers and goggles to see. He looks so natural with the nurse sharks cuddling him and seeking his attention.
Makoto approaches the window carefully and he can't helped but be mesmerized by the beautiful sight of Haruka. His face is inches away from the glass when he finally stops and he begins to understand why the children were pressing themselves against it curiously when they visited yesterday. He's about to press his hand against the window when Haruka notices his presence. He flinches and the abrupt movement scatters the four nurse sharks though they return quickly enough. They share eye contact for a moment but Haruka ultimately turns away.
Makoto sighs and looks down. He doesn't know what to say to Haruka but it's not like he can hear him anyway. He turns his gaze up and is about to press his hand against the window when one of the nurse sharks rams it head on with ferocity. It startles Makoto and causes him to fall back on his butt. It was almost like the shark was being protective of Haruka. Makoto watches in awe as it returns to the cuddle fest with all the other sharks but nonetheless keeps an eye on him as Haruka pets and caress it.
Makoto slowly gets to his feet. He takes in the sight of Haruka surrounded by such dangerous animals but then handling them with ease as though they were nothing but domestic cats or dogs. He looks so beautiful but soon Makoto's attention is drawn back to his fluttering heart. He feels strange looking at Haruka now, especially with the knowledge that he loves him. He wonders how much Haruka suffered during those five years they spent together.
"Haruka…" Makoto says. Haruka doesn't react but that's only natural because he can't hear him, "Haruka… I'm sorry for having been so aloof. I should have known before and I should never have made you suffer like that. I'm sorry I got mad. I'm sorry for forcing you to say something you wanted to keep secret from me, but I'm happy I eventually got to learn it. I honestly don't know how I feel about what you said…that you love me…but…I think I'd like to try it."
And as though Haruka could hear everything he was saying, he looks up at Makoto and Makoto smiles.
"I think I'd like to try dating my best friend." He says and can feel himself blushing again, "I can't promise I'll be the best boyfriend – my past relationships do speak for themselves – but I'll do my best to make you happy because…I guess I kind of like you too."
Haruka wears an astonished expression and Makoto reckons he probably read his lips. Haruka does have an impressive amount of hidden talents. He breaks away from the sharks drinking in his affection and swims to the window. Once he's there he rests one of his hands against the glass and pulls out his octo with the other and mouths: "Really? Do you mean it?"
Makoto smiles widely and nods. He places his hand over Haruka's and moves in closer. They stare into each other's eyes for what seems like an eternity but then it's over when Haruka realizes he can't breathe and scrambles to get some oxygen again. Makoto laughs at that and presses his forehead against the window. Haruka breathes in a couple of time and the pulls the device out. He then presses his lips softly against the window and Makoto meets him. He wonders if this still qualifies as their first kiss even if they aren't actually locking lips. He decides that it does.
The sharks swim behind Haruka impatiently, they clearly want his attention again because a couple of them are nudging him. He puts the octo back in his mouth and resumes petting the sharks briefly. He kisses each of them one last time before swimming out. Makoto watches as he leaves the water and once he see Haruka's vague outline disappear, he leaves the exhibition hall to return to the entrance.
"Did you find him?" the security guard asks.
"I did." Makoto confirms, "He's on his way out."
"Good." The security guard says and leaves, "I'll lock the doors once you leave. Remember that this is a one-time thing."
"Got it. Thank you." Makoto says.
Haruka shows up not long after. He has his shirt on but it's upside down and he hasn't bothered putting his pants on yet because he's still soaking wet and a trail of small puddles follow him. Makoto smiles upon seeing him and he's not sure whether he should say something or remain silent. He opts for the second option and gathers Haruka in his arms before kissing him. It feels nice and Makoto reckons this could be the best decision of his whole life.
So when it comes to the brief way I talk about University programs and whatnot, as far as I'm concerned, they're no entirely accurate to how it works in Japan. I didn't bother breaking my head over research to figure just how everything works there so most of the things I wrote down were from personal experience and how I know things to work in my country so I hope it didn't bother anyone lol
I saw a couple of fics where Haru follows Rin to Australia and that's how the show ends and I guess I just wanted to be a bit different. Now I know there are books that inspired the anime so I'm not sure if there's already a set canonical ending to the series but I don't like the 'hypothesis' (or canon, I don't really know) where Haru does follow Rin to Australia cuz it seems out of character to me. The way I've come to interpret Haru now is that though he loves swimming with a fierce passion, he doesn't want to do it for lucrative purposes because that something special about what he loves is lost. So that's why I don't think he will (or should, if that ending's canonical lol) follow Rin to Australia.
But whatever.
Opinions are opinions.
BTW, the information on seacreatures in this fic are actually accurate :D Now Nurse Sharks can be dangerous but the thing is they don't typically go after humans to harm or even eat. They only really chill around humans to get a couple of free snacks and, according to this one dude (sounds reliable, I know), the way to their heart is through physical affection (there's a video on youtube, no joke, they act like huge dogs and they're so cute).
Anywhore, it's clear I spend too much time watching sharkweek ;P
Hope you Enjoyed!