Rude leant back in his chair, staring at the ceiling for a second or two. He'd only been there ten minutes, and already he was bored out of his mind. Endless paperwork was the only thing he hated about his job, and that went for everyone else too. With a heavy sigh, he sat forward and bent over the report he was writing.

Seconds later, he heard someone enter the room, rustle some papers, tut and groan, and walk back out again. Rude didn't even have to look up to realise that it was Reno walking in late and spotting the mound of folders and files on his desk. However, he quickly returned and walked towards the window. Rude peered over the top of his sunglasses to see the skinny redhead with his forehead and forearms rested on the window, staring out into the endless smog.

'You know, even with all that crap in the air, the view is better from up here than it is from down there…' he murmured, eyes darting to the plates below. Rude leant back in his chair again and put his hands behind his head.

'Happy birthday, Reno…' he said, his mouth curling into a rare smile. Reno snapped up from his concentration in surprise, probably not realising he had spoken out loud.

'How did you know it was my birthday?' the redhead asked quickly, eyes narrowing out of some feigned suspicion. Rude chuckled and leant forward again.

'Simple. You always get kinda…philosophical on your birthday…'

'Seriously?'

'Yep. And to get you out of that mood…I gotcha something…' Rude finished, ducking under the desk briefly. One arm reached back up, placing a bottle of whisky on the table, and another, followed by a bottle of vodka. Reno could only gape.

Rude reappeared, finishing his magnificent round of gifts with a shabby plush chocobo. Reno stuttered for a second, gathered himself, and then pointed at the chocobo.

'What's that?'

Rude crossed his arms and grinned again.

'Found it. Heard that Elena doesn't like chocobos…figured you could use it to annoy her with…'

Reno gathered the bottles and the toy and staggered back to his desk. After setting them out in a row, he sat down smiled in genuine happiness.

'Aaaaw…Man, you didn't need to do this…It's only my birthday. I didn't deserve three bottles…' he said, eyeing the alcoholic volume of the vodka. Rude shook his head.

'Hey, don't sweat it…it was three for the price of one down at the store…so, did you get anything else?'

Reno snorted, and leaning back in his chair, he counted off the gifts on his fingers.

'Booze, booze, more booze…Rude's booze,' he sniggered, waving towards the bottles on his desk, 'oh, and you can't forget my mom, listen to this, this is classic…'

Reno trailed off as he reached into his back pocket for a letter and a minute green orb. Spreading out the piece of paper and smirking at Rude, he cleared his throat and read.

'Dear Renaldo…' (Reno grimaced at his hated full name) 'Just writing to wish you a very happy birthday. I enclose one fire material (make sure you know how to use it) as I heard that catching monsters by Kalm can be a dangerous business! Well done for getting promoted to zookeeper, we're all proud of you. All the love in the Lifestream, Mom. P.S – Your brother joined SOLDIER and has cut off all ties with us. So very disappointed in him. Don't ever join Shinra, will you darling? Love, Mom'

Reno found it hard to read without laughing by the end. Rude chuckled and shook his head. The redhead folded up the letter and placed it next to the laptop on his desk, eyes drifting back to the alcohol again.

'So I suppose you still haven't told her about your job…how long can you keep it up, man?' Rude asked, the laughter still present in his voice. Reno looked slightly ashamed for a second.

'Well, I've managed to keep it up for five years so far…it's getting pretty bad though, she really does think that I work for the zoo on the Plate…Y'know, I was considering writing to her the other day pretending to be the manager or whatever, telling her her son got mauled by a Grangalan and tragically died of his injuries or somethin'…' At this, Rude laughed out loud again, '…I wasn't joking, man…'

Their amusement was interrupted as Elena bounded into the room, arms completely full with folders and papers. They watched in amazement as she filed them all in seconds, leaving a single package in her hand. She smiled and gave a gentle wave to them both.

'G'morning, folks! How are you?' she beamed. Reno shook his head and put his feet up on a desk.

'Fine, fine, fine…Hey Elena, you're way too good at admin to be in the Turks. Why aren't you a secretary or something? You wouldn't have to wear your uniform…' he smirked.

'And we'd see your legs more often…but Reno, she's also way too good at snapping necks…what would happen if you ran into secretary Elena at that time of the month?' Rude added, grinning also. Elena made some noise of protest and irritation, but gave up before she began ranting. She just sighed and fiddled with the package.

'Well…on a secretary's salary, I wouldn't be able to afford this, Reno,' she held out the package and blushed furiously, 'Happy birthday…'

Reno grinned and took it from her, chuckling at her apparent embarrassment.

'Thanks Elena…hey, why you doin' this? I'm normally such a bitch to you…' Reno said as he tore of the brown paper. His face lit up with some child-like excitement when his gift was revealed, Elena only burned redder.

'Oh my GOD! Elena, you are the KING!' Reno yelled, throwing his arms around her, then slapping his hands either side of her face and pulled her in for a big theatrical kiss. She giggled madly, though slightly taken aback. Rude's head snapped back up from his work.

'Jeez, what's all the commotion? What did she get you?' Reno spun round and flung the ticket in his face.

'A VIP pass to the Gold Saucer! Basically, I never have to pay again, for ANYTHING, and I get to jump the queues at Battle and Speed Square!'

Rude just laughed. Elena, recovering from her attack, cleared her throat and tapped Reno on the shoulder. Still staring at the VIP Pass, he grunted to show he was listening.

'Um…there's something else, I saw it on the way here…it's no way near as good as that though, just, er, you know…something…' Elena mumbled, awkwardly pulling it from her back pocket. Reno grinned again and snatched the gift from her outstretched hand. He carried on grinning as he inspected it.

'Alright! A little pen with a Costan girl on it…cool, thanks…' he laughed and turned towards the desk to put it down.

'No, wait…turn it upside down…' she giggled, gesturing what she meant. Reno did so, and smirked when he saw what happened.

'Well hello there, would you look at that! Heh heh heh…' Reno repeated the action over and over, and the office went quiet again. Elena fiddled with her jacket briefly, still blushing and looked at Reno. He was still flipping the pen up and down. She cleared her throat as she did before.

'Er, well…seeing as it's your birthday, are you going…do you want to go out anywhere…?' she mumbled. Reno stopped the pen for a second, looked at her with one eyebrow raised. He sighed heavily, then put his hands on her shoulders. Elena looked at him quizzically.

'I'm so sorry…Elena, thanks for asking and all, but…I'm gay.' Reno forced all the sincerity he could muster in this last statement.

Elena's face froze up and looked as if she was going to burst into tears. She flung his hands off of her shoulders and stepped back.

'Not you too! For God's sake, is everyone in the Turks bent-er, I mean…uhhh…' Reno and Rude had burst out laughing again. Rude managed to gather himself as best he could and grabbed her arm.

'Don't listen to him, he's not…' he sniggered before laughing again. Reno sighed, still giggling.

'Aaaaaah….sorry 'Lena, couldn't resist…anyway, sorry, I don't do dates…I'll happily get smashed with you pair though. Yeah…what's all this with the Turks being bent?'

Elena narrowed her eyes at him, still irritated by his joke.

'Why else do you think I'm not after Tseng's ass anymore…?' she muttered coldly. Reno gaped for a second, but quickly covered it up as Tseng happened to walk into the office. He raised one eyebrow at the mess and the bottles, and then returned his gaze back to Reno.

'Happy Birthday Reno…I trust you found my gift on your desk?' he said sarcastically, the corners of his mouth tugging into a cruel smile. Reno fearfully eyed the stack of papers and stuttered something about doing them in a minute. Tseng nodded and left again without a word. As soon as he was out of the room, Reno span back round to Elena.

'You gotta be jackin' me, seriously…' he said. Elena shook her head, grinning mischievously. Shrugging, Reno walked towards his paperwork tentatively and groaned, 'Rude…can't I just burn it…? It's probably not that important anyway…'

Rude sat up from his desk again and crossed his arms.

'No, Reno…remember, you tried to Fire 3 it last time and it cast Ultima on you and you got the day off to recover…'

Reno groaned and then paused, turning to face Rude.

'Day off you say…? Where'd I put mom's fire material…?'

There should be a new chapter relatively soon. Nothing special, just a bit of fun. Note:- I'm looking for a beta, and if anyone could lend me a hand I'd be much obliged. Cheerio.