Dun
dikka dikka dikka dun dikka dikka dikka dun dikka dikka
dikka!
AAAAAOOOOOOOOO!
"Lucky!
Stop that inscesant noise! Just because you THINK you have
a
musical carreer doesn't mean a damn!"
Lucky
crossed his arms and pouted. "Well I ran out of Webber chicks
to
screw I had to do SOMETHING with my time!"
"Well
it would be better off as something else. Really!" I let the
boy
go for the moment to look back at the camera. I clear my
throat
before
I begin. "Good evening and welcome to Port Charles Survivor!
I'm
your host, Edward Quartermaine. You know how it goes. We go on
and
on until everyone but the ulitimate Survivor is left. Okay,
let's
meet the teams shall we? To my left is Tribe Mobbobku:
Sonny Corinthos: "I'm here...to win...at any cost. Fugedaboudit!"
Carly
Corinthos: "Okay Sonny, I know I said I'd follow you
anywhere.
But seriously, sand up my ass? Whatchu talkin' 'bout?"
Elizabeth
Webber: "I'm just so confused! Oh, why can't I have every
boy
in the world? They all want me anyway!"
"And huddled around her we have:"
With a blank stare, Jason Morgan: ...
Lucky
Spencer: "'Hm? Well, I've had both Liz and Sarah. What now?
Hey!
Wasn't that Maxie chick like way into me?'"
"And
Zander Smith": "'So, you can't just be a sensitive tough
guy to
get
Elizabeth, you gotta have a harley and kill people for a living
too?
Done!'"
And thier rivals Tribe Coupledupous:
Jax
and Skye: "Du ya luv me luv?" "Uhm? Do you have to
speak?
Cause
if not that would make this relationship a LOT easier on me."
Luke
and Laura Spencer: "Come back to me Laura!" "Jesus
Christ
Luke!
I know I may occationally flip out, but can't I just go squat
and
pee in the woods for crying out loud?"
"And,
much to my chagrin, Courtney and...(sigh)...AJ
Quartermaine":
"Hi everyone. We just want you all to know that we
are
going to make this as fair a fight as possible, isn't that
right
honey?
Honey? (Sigh) Put down the damn bottle and answer me!" AJ
looked
around half dazed as he sat up. "Huh? What? Oh hey hun."
He
stopped to take a gulp from his botle. Then he raised the bottle
in
the air. "My wife's a stripper! Wooo
Ho...bleaaaaaa!"
"Shameful
ingrate." I poised myself for the front of the camera
again.
"Well, that's about all the time we have here today. Join
us
next
week when we'll lose our first member."
A
scuffle could be heard behind me. I looked to see Elizabeth trying
to
fend off Lucky.
"Come on? You used to let me all the time!"
"We
were together then Lucky. I just...I don't love you anymore
you
brainwashed,
sister fucking fiend!" With that she pushed him away.
Too
hard however, as he backed up and over the cliffside.
Luke
stood up in rage. "Oh my God! They killed Lucky!" Laura
stood
up
right behind him and shook her fist in the air. "You
bastards!"
Once
again, I addressed the camera with a smile. "Okay, we'll
lose
our
second member next week. Until next time."