Stubborn Heart
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Glee.
Kurt slows down his hurried steps with a sigh of relief as the café where he agreed to meet Adam comes into view. He's late. He stops for a second to catch his breath, then heads inside. Adam is waiting by a table, staring out the window. Kurt waves, but Adam doesn't look up. Kurt moves over to the table, but Adam keeps staring absent-mindedly until Kurt pulls out the chair opposite him to sit down.
"Oh Kurt, are you here already? Your text said you would be a bit late."
"Already? Adam, I'm almost half an hour late!"
Adam frowns and looks at his phone.
"Oh. Time just flew by, I guess."
Kurt goes to order a coffee. When he comes back, Adam is once again staring out the window.
"Are you all right?" Kurt asks as he sits back down. "You seem a little distracted."
"I'm fine. I just have some things on my mind," Adam smiles.
Kurt gets the impression that Adam doesn't want to talk about it at the moment. He perks up a little after that, asks Kurt about his day and discusses their plans for the weekend. But he's still not his usual, bright, cheerful self. The playful spark usually found in his eyes isn't there. Kurt is worried.
When they leave the café they go for a walk in the park. Adam grows silent again, giving monosyllabic answers when Kurt speaks to him.
"Really Adam, what's the matter?" Kurt asks at last, no longer able to keep quiet. "If there's something bothering you, I'd like to help if you feel comfortable confiding in me."
"I'm fine, it's just... bad memories," Adam says, then sighs. "I looked at today's date, and I realized I'd forgotten something yesterday."
They sit down at a bench.
"Forgotten what?"
"My cousin, Eddy. When we were little, we were best friends. Always together, thick as thieves...
Adam sighs again.
"He drowned. Nine years ago yesterday. I forgot it. I never forget. I always think about him, remember him that day, but this year I forgot."
"Adam, I'm so sorry. But you're thinking about him now, aren't you? I know it's hard, but please try not to beat yourself up over it."
Kurt puts his arm around Adam, who leans his head against Kurt's.
"There's more, though. The week he died, we had a fight. Something stupid, a CD of mine I'd lent him which had been scratched when he returned it. It was brand new. I ignored him that whole week over it. Then that weekend, he stole some liquor from his parents. He drank too much, and fell in the river."
"My god."
"He always had a lot of crazy impulsive ideas. I was usually the one to talk him out it, but since I wasn't speaking to him, I wasn't there to do it that night. He always listened to me, had I been there, I could have convinced him..."
"Adam..."
Kurt silences him, taking his hand.
"It was an accident. You were a child, and not responsible for him. It wasn't your fault."
"I know," Adam sniffs. "I've heard it more times than I can count. From my parents, from his, from the rest of the family. I know they're right, that it wasn't my fault. It's just that sometimes it still feels like it."
Kurt nods.
"The heart is hard to convince. Believe me, I know. But whenever you feel this way, know that you can always talk to me about it. I'll always listen."
"I know, Kurt. Same goes for you: you can always come to me, about anything."
Kurt smiles.
"I know." he says gently. "Hey, what do say we go home? We could cozy up on the couch with some snacks and watch old classics."
"In a little while, okay?" Adam says. "I kinds of like just sitting here with you."
"Me too," Kurt agrees, squeezing his hand.
A moment of silence passes. Then Adam softly speaks again:
"Kurt?"
"Hm?"
"Thank you."
Kurt smiles, and presses a kiss against Adam's temple.
"Anytime."