Hello! Dani here! This is my second fanfic I am putting up! Wooo! This comes from a roleplay I did back in October with my dear friend Charlotte! I had planned to have this edited back in October, but the boring Uni work took over my life This roleplay all came about because I had Fresher's flu (I ended up losing my voice) and was talking to Charlotte on Skype and she "put a hamburger on my head" and it went from there!
Now, in this roleplay, I was Iggy and Charlotte was Al! I know that it doesn't look like a roleplay, but I'm a perfectionist and I have changed it into a full story, so it makes sense…..sort of. Well I think it does! I was hoping that it would be a one-shot, but it was an 11 hour roleplay (we didn't get to bed until 7 then next morning! I was glad I had no lectures that day!) So I am going to make this either into a two- or three-shot!
So I hope you enjoy! I may get the next chapter up quickly, but I am currently rushed of my feet at the moment what with it being Christmas, but also the family are visiting, plus my nan is in hospital and we don't know what is happening, then there is the revision for the January exams….euh too much!
But I hope you enjoy!
And now the disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. If I did, Canada would never be forgotten and he would be mine!
England sat in his armchair with a cup of tea and cradled his head. He had a massive headache which added to his misery of having caught a cold. With a sigh he let his head fall back against the armchair and he stared at the ceiling trying to will his illness away. There was suddenly a loud banging on his front door. England closed his eyes with a groan. Only one nation he knew knocked like that, and he really did not want to see him in this state; he didn't have the energy to deal with him. Perhaps if I ignore it he will go, England thought. The knocking started again and then was accompanied by a loud voice saying England's name over and over again. I'm not here, England chanted in his head as the noise at the front door aggravated his headache, I'm not here, so go away! Just as he thought that, the noise at the door stopped; England let out a sigh of relief thinking they had given up and left. There was then the sound of the back door slamming open, footsteps rushing across the kitchen tiles and then a loud voice from the right in front of him.
"IGGY! Why didn't you open the door?!"
Letting out a sigh of exasperation, England opened his eyes to be confronted by bright, sparkling blue eyes framed by wire glasses. The face in front of him was split with its usual wide grin. England sighed again as he pushed the face away.
"What do you want Alfred? And how many times do I have to tell you not to call me Iggy?" England asked in a tired voice.
America simply laughed loudly, causing England to wince as the loud sound caused his head to pound harder. "Dude! I wanna hang out with ya, and you completely ignored me!" America pouted. "And I think that's totally mean!"
England closed his eyes again. "There is a reason I ignored you Alfred. I don't want to be disturbed today."
America's pout grew and he turned on his puppy dog eyes. "Why not?"
England sighed. Do I have to explain everything to the bloody fool? "It is because I have a cold and a headache, bloody wanker! Now leave me in peace!"
America grinned and put a hamburger on England's head, "There! Now you'll be better in no time!"
England grabbed the hamburger and rounded on America. "Bloody wanker!" He stood up and walked over to the nearest bin and tossed the hamburger in, turning back to America. "Do you even know what a cold is?" He asked annoyed. America had a horror struck look on his face as he stared at England.
"That is SUCH a waste of a beautiful thing!" He exclaimed. "And dude! Of course I know what a cold is. Something to be warmed up! And what warms your heart and soul better than a hamburger!"
England put his head in his hands. How stupid could this nation be? "You bloody idiot! It is an ILLNESS!" He growled out, angry, but not yelling due to his headache. America just placed his hands on his hips as he tilted his head slightly
"And WHAT do you need when you're sick? WARM STUFF! DUH!" America grinned proudly at his 'clever' deduction. "I OBVIOUSLY know more about what's best for your body!"
England groaned and slumped down in a nearby chair. Why was he stuck with this fool when all he wanted was to be left alone? "I...don't...need...BLOODY HAMBURGERS!" England grit out, "And anyway they do more harm than good you wanker!"
America let out a gasp at the 'insult' to his favourite food. "Who DOESN'T want HAMBURGERS?!" He asked in horror, and then moved on to dismiss England's point with a wave of the hand. "But they're GOOD! They're good for your SOUL!"
England glared up at America, "No, they give you coronary heart attacks, you fucking wanker! Don't you know anything?"
America looked like England had just kicked a puppy. "HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?!" He declared loudly, causing England to wince at the loud sound. "You just don't HAVE a soul! You've done all that black magic stuff and deals with demons!" He accused.
England sighed again. Why did America always have to bring this up? Yet again England tried to explain. "Alfred how many times do I have to tell you that it is DARK magic and has NOTHING to do with DEMONS!" Then a grin split England's face. He decided to have some fun, as a way of payback for America coming to bug him. "However, I did meet this ghost yesterday..." He trailed off.
To begin with it was clear that America hadn't been listening as he muttered "To-may-to, to-mah-to! All evil and shiz." Then America paused and looked at England. "Wait, WHAT?! HOLD CRAP! HOW DID YOU SURVIVE?! HOLY CRAP THAT'S SCARY! ... What was it like? Was it ugly? Covered in blood? Making this weird noise like a creaking door?! NO WAIT; DON'T TELL ME IT'S TOO SCARY! NO WAIT; TELL ME I WANT TO KNOW!"
England's grin grew as he continued. "Oh this ghost was looking for someone to haunt for the rest of that person's life and I remember pointing someone out...now who was it again..." He paused with an evil grin staring at America's scared and expectant face. "Oh that's right it was you!"
America's face contorted with complete unbridled horror and he let out a high pitched scream. "WHAAAAAAAAAT?! OH SWEET JESUS MUFFINS! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! OH MAN THAT'S JUST SO WRONG I THOUGHT WE WERE GETTING ALONG BETTER NOWADAYS! I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU SPILL TEA IN YOUR LAP, FRANCE DARED ME TO! AND I WASN'T EVEN GONNA DO IT BUT THEN I TRIPPED! I EVEN APOLOGISED AND EVERYTHING! I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D DO THIS! OH MAN OH MAN THIS IS TOO SCARY IT'S GONNA HAUNT ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! I'M A COUNRTY I'M IMMORTAL, OH SWEET GOD IT'S GONNA HAUNT ME FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY, IT'S NEVER GONNA LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO SLEEP AGAIN OH MAN I'M DONE FOOOOORRRR! THIS IS IT! THIS IS WAY TOO SCARY MAN! AAAHHHHHHH HA HAAAAAAAAA!" America dissolved into tears as his words became no more than unintelligible whimpers.
Arthur let out an evil laugh, already starting to feel better for teasing the American so. "Maybe you shouldn't have bloody taken the piss out of my magic! I suppose I could talk to the ghost, but why the bloody hell should I tosser?" England asked with a chuckle.
America seemed to be panicking "I'm sorry! Magic is cool! I LOVE magic! Black magic? Dark magic? TOTALLY different!" America flailed his arms around as if trying to swat a fly away. "Yeah! Dunno HOW I got THOSE two mixed up! HAHAHA! YEAH! I uh! I WON'T AGREE WITH ANYTHING FRANCE SAYS IN MEETINGS! I'll back you up on your points! Unless they don't agree with mine! I won't talk about aliens for a month! PLEASE DUDE! YOU GOTTA TELL THAT GHOST NOT TO HAUNT ME! I'LL DO ANYTHING! I- I-I'll... eat your cooking..." As he said the last part, America looked away from England.
Seeing America like that made England sigh. Perhaps he had taken it too far. The blonde American's blue eyes were filled with terror, his face streaked with tears. "Alfred," England said with a sigh. "There never was a bloody ghost! And I thought heroes weren't afraid of anything?" Well, he couldn't be that nice to America all the time!
America spluttered, "...wha... bu- you-..." England watched as realization dawned on the American. "DUUUUDE! That wasn't cool! ... I almost agreed to eat your cooking and everything!" America paused. "Also I was TOTALLY lying about the France thing! HAHA! A-and...h-heroes are not! But... ghosts are creepy..."
England grinned, "Sorry, 'dude' but you just bloody agreed to whatever I want and a HERO doesn't go back on his word. And don't insult my bloody cooking!" England said as an afterthought.
"BUT I- - !" America started then pouted and sighed, knowing England had won. "Fine. But I never said I wouldn't complain! HEY WAIT I never said I'd do whatever you want!" England raised an eyebrow, and America thought back over what he had said before then grimaced. "... oh wait... yeah I did...crap... What do you want?" He asked England, suspicion in his voice as he watched the green eyed blonde sit up with a grin on his face.
"How about a walk in the dark forest tonight?" England said innocently, looking and sounding a bit like Russia.
"Whaaaaaaaaaaat...? You're kidding right? You don't mean... that really creepy forest behind your house right? Like…at night...?" America asked trying not to sound scared but the fear was written all over his face.
England's smile remained on his face, but his Russia-esq voice disappeared. "Yep that forest, at night. But that's not all I want you to do!"
America gaped at England "WHA!? But I-"America scratches his head. "F-fine... what else do you want? NOT THAT I'M SCARED OR ANYTHING!"
England chuckles at America's words then thinks over what else he could get America to do now he had promised. "Well I was trying out a new recipe for my scones and I need someone to try them-"
"Uhhhhh... a... NEW recipe? what exactly is NEW about it?" America interrupted as his lip curled in distaste.
England narrows his eyes at America for the interruption. "You will find out soon enough. Oh and I need someone to repaint the windows of my house, and wash my car, also my lawn could do with being mowed..." England finished his list with an evil grin, making his emerald eyes flash as he stared at America's upset face as he makes a strange 'ehk' noise in back of his throat.
"You're EVIL you know that?" America grumbled with a pout, running a hand through his dirty blonde hair. "Don't you think this is a bit much for gloating about a horrible trick you played on me for no reason?" When the only answer that America got from England was a shrug and a smug grin, he decided to ask the question that was forefront on his mind, "B-besides...why do we need to go into that forest? Not that I'm scared or anything!" The last statement made England chuckle.
"Oh I just need to find a certain plant; that only grows in the darkest part of the forest for Yao and his herbal remedies," England answered in an offhand voice. "And I need someone to carry the basket back when it's full."
America stared at England for a moment, debating then said "... I'm not even gonna ask the significance of this plant... ... why can't you carry the basket?"
"Yao wants two baskets and you can only pick the plant on a certain night idiot." England snapped, his patience with America slowly thinning. "I wouldn't have bloody asked you to come otherwise, 'cause I know of your bloody fear of the bloody paranormal, git."
America let out a whine at England's words. "Then why are you making me go anyway?!" America moaned pulling a pout and crossing his arms, reminding England of when he was a colony and England had to leave. "And I'm not scared of the paranormal! That's like, kid's stuff! I'm a man of SCIENCE! I'm not scared at all! NOPE! Not at all!"
England decided to ignore all of America's mutterings on not being scared, when the fear was clear in his cerulean eyes and simply answer the first question. "Because I need someone to bloody help me tosser!"
America growled and threw his arms up in the air in defeat a scowl on his face, that made England want to reach out and smooth out the wrinkles on his forehead, but he restrained himself. "F-FINE!" America shouted turning away from England, not seeing the longing look flash in the Brits green eyes. "Let's just get that housework crap out of the way so we can go to the damn forest!" He grumbled as he walked away. "Can't believe this...don't know why Yao can't get his OWN damn flowers... that bastard... gonna shove a nuke so far up his..."
"ALFRED DONT BLOODY TALK ABOUT YAO LIKE THAT!" England yelled at America having heard what he said, and rising from his seat to smack him over the head.
"SHIT!" America shouted running away from him and out into the back garden. "HAHAHA! Now where's that paint?!"
Back in the sitting room England had sat back down and placed his face in his hands muttering to himself. "Oh god, what the bloody hell have I let myself in for?"
Well I hope you are enjoying this! Stay tuned for the next chapter! And please R+R! If you do you will get a cookie! And first person gets to hug any Hetalia character of their choice! Till next time!