The Ghosts of Us

Author note: This story is AU, and written for those who enjoy AU fiction, so is not strictly canon. It's an Oswald/Ed/Jim love triangle. It is also rated M and all warnings are listed below. I write long chapters but update frequently! Enjoy the read.

Summary:

Ten years after the painful end of a passionate love affair with Oswald Cobblepot, Jim Gordon recalls their love story after hearing worrying news about his lost love, and as he remembers the past, he hopes all is not as bad as it seems and that his worst fears can be proven wrong...

No one knew the most honest cop in Gotham had fallen for Oswald Cobblepot, and it was the last thing Jim expected too when he broke up a fight in the alley behind the Iceberg Lounge late one night. Recently, Ed Nygma's temper had been getting worse, and when he saw him fighting with Oswald, who was losing badly, he had to step in.

After telling Ed to walk away, he reminds Oswald that Ed has already killed a previous partner. But he laughs off his concerns, playing down the incident. Jim decides to get closer and keep watch on him, but getting closer will have more meaning than he realises as he finds his fascination with Oswald gets deeper than he ever intended.

As Ed's rages grow worse and border on psychopathic towards his lover, Oswald feels increasingly lonely. One late night at the Iceberg Lounge, Jim and Oswald cross a line, starting an affair that poses a threat of deadly consequences to them both if their secret is discovered. Then it seems Jim's worst fears are proven right when Oswald is found in the alley at the back of the club, the victim of a vicious assault.

Badly injured Oswald tells Jim it was Ed Nygma, and Jim has Nygma sent straight to Arkham. But as he recovers, it seems Oswald isn't exactly clear on what really happened that night, as Jim uncovers some new facts he wonders if Oswald is telling the truth – or simply using him as a pawn in a devious game...Then a twist of fate occurs that changes everything, forever...

Now ten years on, Jim tries to get past a wall of silence put up by Oswald's closest friends as he tries to find out if rumours on the street are true – if they are, Jim fears the worst for Oswald, who seems to be dangerously ill – but has he got it all wrong, and has looking back to the past blurred his understanding of what could have another explanation altogether, is Jim allowing old feelings that never truly died to get in the way of realising that actually, there could be another explanation for the rumours that surround Oswald?

Rated M

Pairings : Jim/Oswald Ed/Oswald

Warnings: Adult themes, scenes of a sexual nature, violence, strong language, very emotional love story, heavy emotional roller coaster.

Introduction:

Ten Years later:

For Jim, it had all come rushing back to him when he had bumped into Barbara Kean and rather than avoid him, she had spoken to him as they stood together on the sidewalk on a bright spring morning.

"How are you these days?" she asked.

"Fine," he replied, not wanting to recall their relationship or the break up that was so far back the memories hadn't even stung for years, not until now, when he was looking into her eyes. So much had happened since Barbara, and right now it felt like the memories of all else that had happened had never burned so brightly. It had been several years since they had last spoken.

"I was just wondering," she said, "Do you ever speak to Ozzy?"

He had to pause to think who she meant.

"Ozzy who?"

"Your Ozzy...Oswald?"

He felt a jolt as he looked at her, wondering how the hell she had known about that...

"Me and Oswald?"

She smiled briefly, then her smile faded.

"He told me all about it a long time ago. We're good friends now, we have been for years. I was just wondering if you knew... about Oswald?"

She looked at him intently. He looked back at her as he felt a flicker of concern.

"No, I haven't spoken to him for ten years."

"Maybe you should get in touch," was all she said, then she walked away.

Jim watched as she left, standing there alone in the middle of the busy street, as he thought back ten years to a love affair he had not expected, a love so deep it still made his heart ache: It had started with a fight on a rainy night in a filthy alley, and had led to an unexpected love affair with Oswald Cobblepot...

Chapter 1

Ten Years Before:

It was late, gone midnight and raining. As they left by the back of the club, Ed walked on ahead of his lover, anger burning in his eyes.

"Ed, wait!" Oswald leaned heavily on his cane as he stepped out into the rain, not caring about the heavy downpour soaking his suit and making his spiked hair go flat as the rainfall worsened.

Ed turned around, glaring at him as Oswald hobbled over to him and looked up, meeting his furious expression with fire of his own.

"Don't you ever do that to me in the club again!"

Ed's eyes glittered darkly as his hand closed into a fist.

"I told you to get rid of that damned iceberg!"

"It's a centre piece!"

"It was my prison!" Ed yelled, "You put me in there, on display like some kind of animal! And I haven't forgotten you killed Isabella!"

"That was a long time ago," Oswald reminded him sharply, "Don't you ever forget who I am, Edward Nygma! I'm Penguin, you don't grab me by the throat and shove me against a wall in front if everyone in the club! If anyone else had done that to me I'd have Victor put a bullet in their head!"

Oswald leaned in, looking up at him as Ed leaned down, glaring at his lover.

"You can give me half the club and half your money and the power that goes with it, but I'll never forgive you, Oswald!"

By now Oswald's eyes had started to tear up with hurt and anger as he stood there in the rain, lately there had been too many confrontations with Ed and tonight had been the very worst, all over that iceberg that stood in the middle of the Lounge...

"Why can't you let the past go? I've forgiven you for shooting me!"

"I don't forgive you!" Ed yelled.

Then he lunged at him, slamming him against the wall of the club as Oswald struggled to balance, his damaged leg was taking too much weight as he raised his cane, lashing out and missing Ed's face as it hit his shoulder with a crack. Then Ed's fist was in his face, he moved so fast Oswald had no time to duck, as he slumped to the ground, Ed hit him again.

"I'm going to kill you!" Oswald yelled, now he was on his knees as he dragged his dagger free from the top of his cane, blood was running from a cut above his eye, his cheek was bruised and his eyes blazed with rage as he staggered to his feet, half slipping in the rain as his crippled leg made it hard to stand.

"Nothing is ever good enough any more, why? What's wrong with me? Why don't I make you happy any more?" he yelled.

"You never did!" Ed shouted back, then he lunged forward and the two men struggled.

"Are you really gonna kill me, Oswald?" Ed said darkly as he grabbed at his wrists and suddenly seemed much stronger than he had ever been before as his eyes reflected coldness and he laughed, "You're just no match for me, are you?"

He aimed a kick at Oswald's crippled leg and as he buckled, he twisted his wrist and the dagger slipped from his grip. As it fell to the ground, making a metallic sound as the steel hit the rain soaked concrete, a look of panic came to his eyes as he realised Ed had overpowered him.

"Ed, no, please..."

"Shut up, Oswald!" he hissed, and slammed his fist into his face again, letting go as he fell hard to the wet ground. He took two steps closer, looking down at him as both his fists tightened.

"You really want to kill me? You said you loved me, what the fuck is wrong with you, Ed?" Oswald yelled as tears of pain and anger ran down his face. He was on his side, his suit was soaked with rain and filth from the alley, his leg was screaming pain and he couldn't get up, he was trying to push himself upwards, knowing his cane and his dagger were out of reach and Ed was about to give him more of the same.

Then there was the unmistakeable click of a gun ready to fire, Ed had heard it right behind his left ear and he froze.

"Walk away, Nygma."

He slowly raised his hands and turned his head a fraction, then cold steel was pressed behind his ear.

"I SAID, START WALKING!"

Ed's shoulders relaxed. He slowly lowered his hands.

"Okay, I'm going..."

He turned around as the gunman stepped aside, his weapon still trained on him in a two handed grip.

"Go!" he was ordered again.

Ed laughed as he shook his head, glancing back at Oswald who was in a bruised and bloody mess on the ground, "Oh look, the GCPD have arrived to save you..." he said coldly, shaking his head as he walked away.

Oswald was struggling to get up, then the cop who had saved him stepped closer and held out his hand. As he looked up into the eyes of Jim Gordon, Oswald felt sure he had never been so pleased to see him.

"Thank you, Jim," he said with gratitude as he staggered to his feet.

Jim left him leaning against the wall while he picked up the dagger and then his cane, he rejoined him and glanced down at the dagger, then looked at Oswald.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't see this," he said, sliding the concealed dagger back into place, then he handed his cane back. By now the rain was stopping.

"Thanks again, Jim. I'd better be on my way -"

"Not so fast," Jim cut in, "Oswald, he nearly killed you!"

"I've had more than a few drinks and so has Ed. We don't fight often."

As he looked at him, Jim was surprised by just how much sympathy he felt for the man the city knew as Penguin; he had always imagined Oswald could cope in a fight, but to see him like this, to find him bruised and bleeding in a filthy alley as his lover Ed Nygma stood over him ready to give him another beating, was a hell of a shock. He looked intently at Oswald, noticing his cut knuckles as his hand shook and he leaned weakly on his cane, his suit was soaked and filthy, his face was cut and bruised and he looked very shaken up. He didn't look like Penguin the crime boss, at this moment, he looked like every other domestic violence victim he had seen during the course of his career as a cop.

"Do you want to go to the hospital and get those injuries checked out?" he asked.

"Believe me, Jim, I've been in worse fights. I think you know this penguin's a tough bird. There's nothing broken. I'll live."

"At least let me take you somewhere safe for the night," Jim offered.

"No, I can make my own way home. But thank you for the offer," he managed a smile despite his obvious pain.

"I don't think you should go back to the house tonight, give Ed some time to sober up and calm down."

" I can't sleep in my office, Jim, the floor is too hard!" Oswald shivered in his rain soaked clothing.

"Let's get out of the cold," Jim said, putting an arm around his shoulder and steering him towards the mouth of the alley, "Just sit in my car for a while."

"Thank you," Oswald said again as he painfully limped towards the end of the alley where Jim's car was parked across the street under clear view of a street light, "I am very cold..." he admitted, and he was still shivering, Jim could feel it as he kept his arm around his shoulder.

They reached the car, he helped Oswald into the passenger seat and closed the door, then as he walked around to the driver's side and got in, it surprised him how glad he felt that Oswald was safe.

"How long has Ed been beating you?"

Oswald turned his head sharply, ignoring the ache in his neck and shoulder as he moved, he didn't doubt he would ache all over tomorrow and his leg would be twice as painful as usual, but to hear Jim talk as if he was helpless had stoked up his anger.

"We had a fight! I'm not some helpless cripple, Jim!"

"I didn't mean it like that. I meant, how long has he been so aggressive towards you?"

Oswald gave a sigh, as he leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes the thought struck Jim that Oswald was fragile, but not in a helpless way, even with his cuts and bruises, he still had fire in his eyes, that look that reminded him how he had managed to grab such a position of power in this city. The man was certainly no angel, but for the first time, he was looking at him in a new light, and feeling drawn to him.

There was some kind of fascination awakening and he didn't want to think too much about how pretty this guy was. The thought had vaguely come to him before and he had pushed it aside, Jim had enjoyed quite a few relationships over the years, mainly with women – but there had been a couple of guys, way back. Being out here tonight, seeing that fight, taking him back to his car in the middle of the lonely and miserable night, it was all coming together and Jim really didn't want to focus on it even though it was there:

Yes, he found him attractive. Now he just wished that thought would move along and leave him alone... He was also surprised at his depth of concern for him, too. In that moment he had raised that gun, he had never felt so fiercely protective towards Oswald...

"Ed's been getting mad at the slightest things lately," Oswald told him as rain dripped from his hair, "I don't know why. He's just not the Ed I used to know. It's probably my fault. I should have got rid of the iceberg, I should have tried harder to make him forget the past. We've hurt each other," as he made that remark he looked into Jim's eyes, "We've both hurt each other in so many ways... maybe he just can't take being around me any more, maybe I'm losing him!"

As he gave a quiet sob, Jim put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Maybe he needs to go back to Arkham -"

Oswald's face was streaked with tears as he turned his head sharply, glaring at him for making such a suggestion.

"If he goes back to Arkham he will never come out again, not with his history!"

"I'm aware that his previous crimes have been conveniently overlooked and charges filed against him have been thrown out, but that's only because you have half of Gotham on your payroll," Jim reminded him, "It doesn't change what he is and that is also on his medical records – he's a psychopath who has already killed a previous partner. I don't want you to overlook that risk."

Oswald's expression softened as he smiled and shook his head, then fixed Jim with a firm gaze.

"Jim, I don't think you understand. Edward and I are...complicated. Tomorrow, we will be just fine."

"And I'm not taking a chance on you going home tonight," Jim replied, "he's had no time to cool off. So either I take you in for the night and put you in a cell -"

"A cell?" Oswald exclaimed, "I've done nothing wrong, I was defending myself!"

The thought had just occurred to Jim that Oswald looked damned cute when he protested like that. His jaw had dropped, his eyes had gone wide, he looked so angry yet so... kissable. No, he cancelled that thought quickly and tried not to smile as he added, "Or you could stay at my place for the night. You could get cleaned up, get some rest, and I'll take you home in the morning."

Oswald gave a sigh and as he spoke, was clearly annoyed.

"Okay, take me back to your place. It's not like I have any say in the matter!"

Jim pulled away from the roadside and started on the drive home, all the while watching the road ahead, not daring to crack a smile as Penguin sat beside him in a sulky silence.

Once they were back at Jim's apartment, he wasted no time, running a hot bath and then waiting outside the door while Oswald undressed, then opened the door a fraction, thrusting out his wet, dirty clothing quickly.

"I'll get these clothes washed and dried for the morning," he told him, and then he walked away.

Alone in the bathroom, Oswald stood with a towel wrapped about his bruised body, then he tried and failed to raise his aching, damaged leg. Getting into that bath without help would be impossible. He swore under his breath as his face flushed. He couldn't deny he had always liked Jim, he found him attractive, too, but he had not planned on letting him see him naked tonight...or any other night.

"This is awkward..." he whispered as he looked down at the bath, the booze was wearing off, his cuts and bruises hurt and here he was, standing naked except for a towel in Jim Gordon's bathroom. He wanted to be at home, with Ed...Why did Ed have to be so full of anger these days?

"Jim," he called, sounding as awkward as he felt, "I...I need some help in here."

The bathroom door opened quickly and Jim walked in.

"Sure, what's wrong, Oswald?"

He clutched tightly at the towel with one hand, then gestured to the bath.

"My leg hurts. I need help to get in the bath. I'm sorry."

His face flushed.

"Don't apologise," Jim said, feeling a surge of protectiveness towards Oswald, who was clearly embarrassed at his own weakness.

He stepped closer, putting an arm around his shoulder. Oswald made a grab for the bath and as he raised his undamaged leg, he felt pain on the damaged side and as it registered on his face, Jim put his hand on his thigh, helping him to climb into the bath. As their eyes met he let go.

"Thanks," Oswald said quickly.

They were still looking at each other as he stood there in the water, and as he lost his grip Jim caught the towel, snatching it back before it fell in the bath.

Oswald caught his breath, he was still standing there, up to his knees in water as Jim kept his focus on his face, knowing he was blushing heavily as he stood there, momentarily exposed.

"I'll also need some help to get out, again I'm sorry," Oswald said.

"That's fine, call me when you're done," Jim replied, and as he carefully lowered himself down into the water, Jim's willpower broke and his gaze slipped briefly over Oswald's pale flesh, he took in the sight of his delicate bone structure, his slim but toned body and the many scars that marked it from old fights, he noticed the dark hair between his legs and the sight of his cock, a generous length - then Oswald was under the bubbles in the warm water, leaning back as flickers of pain were banished by the heat.

"I'll be in the next room if you need me," Jim said, turning his face away.

Now it was his turn to blush and he didn't want Oswald to see that. He left the room, but didn't close the door, feeling concerned for his injured friend. Then he wondered exactly when he had started thinking of Oswald as a friend, he had known him for a long time and he had often helped him out on police matters. The guy wasn't all bad... But he didn't want to think about it any more as he went to the kitchen to make coffee.

Half an hour later, he had helped Oswald out of the bath, wrapping him in a bigger, warmer towel, then he had taken a second towel and gently rubbed his hair until it was almost dry, then he helped him to put on a bathrobe and as he turned around, he got a great view of his back and his ass as he got dressed, and he quickly looked away. He had put his arm around him and helped him limp through to the front room, where he led him over to the couch, helped him to lie back, then he covered him with a warm blanket.

"Sleep well," he said as he walked out of the room.

"Jim..."

He turned back.

"Thanks for helping me," Oswald smiled and Jim felt his heart melt.

"It's no trouble at all," he promised, then he turned out the light and closed the door softly.

That night Jim barely slept, as thoughts played through his head and in the end he let them dance before his eyes because acknowledging it was the only way to make it stop:

The sight of Oswald naked had set his imagination on fire. For some reason it had to be at the club, after closing time, when it was empty. He wanted to take Oswald up to the office, then pull him into his arms and kiss down his throat, he wanted to feel him tremble and catch his breath as he ran his hands over him and told him he had pretty eyes.

Then he would take off his coat and lay it down on the floor, and grab a pillow from the couch and make sure his leg was supported. He wanted him to feel safe and comfortable, he also wanted Oswald on his back when he took him for the first time, he wanted him looking into his eyes, to see the expression on his face when he entered him for the first time.

He would be gentle but firm, he would hurt him a little bit, but only at first as he thrust into him, holding his legs apart, taking care with his damaged leg, because Oswald didn't deserve to feel more pain, he needed tenderness. Jim wanted to kiss his bruises away and tell him that he mattered...

In the morning Jim woke up later than usual, found Oswald was still sleeping on couch and his gaze had lingered on his partly exposed body, the covers were half off, one arm was trailing off the couch, his hair had fallen over his eyes and his bruises looked dark against his pale skin. His lips were parted and he was breathing softly. Jim left his clean clothing folded neatly on the table and left him to sleep.

While Oswald was sleeping, Jim quickly grabbed a shower, while he was in there all of last night's thoughts came back to him, and he leaned hard against the wall of the shower, his hand moving firm and fast as he fantasised and came hard, ejaculating over his hand and then watching as the semen mixed with shower water, washing away the evidence.

Shortly after, he was dressed and ready for work. By the time he had made breakfast and started on his second coffee, Oswald hobbled into the kitchen, he was dressed now and looked surprisingly well for a man who had been in a fight the night before, he had even styled his hair into its usual spikes and had a sparkle in his eyes as he smiled at Jim.

"Good morning!" he said brightly, and Jim wanted to hug him, but kept that thought to himself.

"You look better."

"I was in agony when I woke up, but I took a couple of painkillers. I really need to go home now. Ed will be worried."

Jim silently doubted Ed would be worried at all; if he cared he wouldn't have battered him last night...

"Okay," Jim said, putting on his jacket and grabbing his car keys from the table, "Let's go, I'll drive you home."

The drive back to the Van Dahl mansion was taken in silence. Oswald checked his watch several times, then his phone, realising he had no messages or missed calls from Ed.

"He didn't even try and contact me..." he cast an anxious glance at Jim and his bruises looked livid, "I hope he's okay."

"He should be hoping you're okay," Jim replied, then they reached the mansion gates and he leaned out of the car and hit the buzzer.

"Yes?" came the reply.

"GCPD, open the gates, Nygma."

"Where's Oswald?" he sounded nervous.

"With me," Jim replied, and the gates were opened immediately.

As they drove towards the mansion, Oswald took in a deep breath, trying to fight off the tension that made his body stiffen.

"Jim," he said quickly, "Don't tell him I stayed at your place last night. He gets crazy jealous these days... he has no reason, but it's anyone I talk to, girls at the club, guys I do business with... he's even accused me of flirting with Victor Zsasz, and he's staff! We had a maid up at the house until recently. Apparently me talking to her upstairs for ten minutes about her recent vacation meant I was fucking her! I had to let her go because he's so paranoid."

"Okay, Oswald," Jim said, "I know what to say. Just leave the talking to me."

They parked outside the mansion and Jim got out first and Oswald followed, leaning heavily on his cane as all the aches and pains from last night seemed to hurt all over again as they headed for the front door.

Jim rang the bell and Ed opened the door. He had a couple of fading bruises on his face and the knuckles of his right hand were bruised and scuffed.

"Oswald, I've been so worried!" he said.

"Then you should have called him," Jim replied, "And if I catch you fighting in the street like that again, I'll arrest both of you!"

Oswald caught on to his act and joined in, faking a glare at Jim.

"Thanks for locking me up all night, Jim! Can't you see I'm in pain?"

"We were drunk," Ed said as he stepped back and opened up the door wider, but Jim remained on the doorstep.

"I don't want to see this happen again," Jim warned him, "I've got better things to do with my time than lock up drunks for the night!"

"That remark is duly noted and thank you for bringing Oswald home safely," Ed replied politely, forcing a smile, "I take it we are both free to go?"

"You are this time."

As Ed turned from the door, leaving Oswald to hobble in alone, Jim helped him up the step and as he entered the house he turned back, briefly touching his arm through his jacket and giving a gentle squeeze.

"Thanks, Jim," he whispered, and gave him a wink, then he went inside and closed the front door. Jim was thinking about that brief touch and that wink all the way to work that morning. He couldn't get Cobblepot out of his mind if he tried...

Now he was home, all Oswald wanted was to go to bed. Ed put his arm around him and helped him up the stairs, feeling swamped with guilt at the sight of his lover covered with bruises. This had to be the worst fight they had ever had, apart from that time he had shot him and left him to die in Gotham river...

"I am so sorry!" Ed told him as Oswald sat down heavily on the bed, then Ed fell to his knees, untied Oswald's shoe laces and slipped off his shoes.

"You look terrible."

"And you would have looked worse if I hadn't dropped my cane!"

As he stood up, Ed felt his temper rising and these days it felt like a monster that even he couldn't control, it made Riddler colder and more rage filled than ever, so many destructive thoughts filled his mind at the slightest provocation. These days it didn't even feel like Riddler was trying to take over. He didn't know what it was, but it had a hold of him and when it took over, it scared him. Seeing Oswald's bruises as he tenderly undressed him made him want to weep but he held it back as he helped him to bed and turned the covers down, then he sat beside him and finally, tears stung at his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Oz," he said softly, then he kissed his lips gently, just once, and rose from the bed and left him to sleep.

Oswald ached all over. The worst of the pain was in his crippled leg. Ed had never attacked him so viciously before, it was almost as if he wasn't Ed in those moments, and not Riddler either. But what ever the cause, he was still in pain as he looked to the closed door.

"You're sorry?" he whispered as he blinked away tears, "So am I, Ed! I'm sorry I fell in love with you!"

Then he sniffed and wiped his eyes and settled back, trying to sleep before the painkillers wore off. As he drifted away into much needed rest, his last thought was that he hoped this would never happen again, even though he had a nagging feeling that it would. Living with Ed used to be so good, now it was like waiting for a bomb to go off...

While Oswald was at home resting, Jim Gordon was in his office and about to start work for the day. As he sat down and glanced at case files, Harvey came in and took off his coat and then took a seat at his own desk.

"I didn't expect to see you so early," he remarked, "You worked till late last night. I bet you felt like crap this morning."

"No, I had a great start to the morning," he replied, looking down at the case files but not really absorbing much as his thoughts drifted back to Oswald.

"How can anyone work so late and then enjoy getting up early?" asked Harvey, "What was so great about this morning?"

Jim looked across the room and met his gaze as all the things he couldn't say ran through his mind:

Harvey, I had a great time – last night I took Oswald Cobblepot home and saw him naked in my bathroom. This morning while he was sleeping I jacked off over thoughts of him while I was in the shower and it was damned good. And I'm still thinking about him now...

"Jim?" said Harvey.

He blinked, then focussed on Harvey once more.

"What?"

"I said, what was so great about this morning?" he asked again.

Jim shrugged.

"I don't know, sun shining, blue sky, nice day?"

Harvey laughed.

"You sound like a man in love!"

Jim laughed too, making light of his remark, while at the back of his mind thoughts of Oswald and fears for his well being still burned bright. His mind was made up now :

He couldn't let this go. He needed to know he was okay. He had to see Oswald again...