disclaimer ; i only own my ideas, stephenie meyer allowed me the chance to express them with her characters and story line :)

It has been two years since I left Forks, two years since I had experienced any happiness, and two years since I said goodbye to the reason of my existance, Bella Swan. It has been two years of hell.

I didn't even know where I was anymore. Lately, I had just been drifting. Drifting alone the world, without a reason, without a point. Much like my life. I sat alone in a small apartment, now. It was above a bar, all I knew was that it was somewhere in Mexico. The smell of cigarettes and cheap perfume drifted up towards my nose, even if I didn't have impecable smell, it would have bothered me.

A little over a year ago, I had made myself a promise. I couldn't deal with being apart from her, so I went back to check. If she was happy, I would leave, if she was even a fraction as miserable as I was, I would stay, and never leave her side again. I knew that staying away from her was better for her, I wouldn't be in the way of her having a life, a real life. A real family, someone who could love her without harming her - I never would have anticipated she would find real happiness in a dog. I chuckled at myself, in a sad way. It was just.. so.. Bella!

After I saw the way she was with him.. I sunk deeper into depression, which I never would have thought possible. Don't be mistaken, I was happy, I was ecstatic even that she had found happiness, that she didn't need to suffer along with me, but the fact that it was another man making her happy.

I drifted back to the memory. Bella, my beautiful Bella, her long brown hair blowing in the wind, walking out of her house, hand in hand with Jacob Black. He looked into her eyes with such passion. Bella stared back, she seemed just as passionate, but not quite satisfied. Of course, this could have just been my mind, seeing what it wants to see. Twisting every little detail out of perspective into something less painful.

I ran then, and I never looked back. Of course, I missed my family. I missed Esme and Carlisle, and the pain I was causing them was almost unbearable, but I couldn't be there. I had to escape the constant pity from my siblings, the constant worry from my parents, and the constant apologies from Jasper.

I was no more than a walking corpse now. I did nothing but hunt, and subconciously remember Bella.

Why did doing the right thing have to be so hard? I wished there were a way to become human, no longer be this monster that stood between my only flicker of happiness. But I knew I was doing right, and that was all that got me through the day.

The sound of drunken girls, following men up to their identical tiny apartment was the thing to change my mind. I had to go back there. I had to go find my existance. I could no longer sit here, unhappy, unliving. I had to see her, I had to leave the choice up to her. If she wanted me, I would be hers. I would never leave again. I would accept whatever punishment the universe had instore for me for ruining such a perfect girls life. I started runing before even thinking about it. I didn't worry about the people I would pass, I assumed they wouldn't remember in the morning.

For the first time in a long time, I felt happy, and hope. I could feel it building up within me, only to be shot down, my mind told me, she isn't going to want you now, she'll be with him. My mind nearly hissed the last word, and I could hear a growl growing in my throat. But... what if? What if they were just friends? I had thrown it all out of proportion. What if she missed me too? Oh, if only I could hear her thoughts! If only I could have heard what she was thinking when looking into his eyes, the boy I so hated! I grabbed the little rectangle in my pocket then, and was dialing before I could even think about it.

"Hello? Edward? Where are you? Are you coming home?" I could hear the worry and excitment in Alice's voice, she knew I would only call if I was in trouble, or I was coming home. She should have seen me calling her, wouldn't she be watching me? Maybe there was a problem at home.. maybe Jasper was going through a difficult time. The guilt rose within me then, taking the place of any happiness or hope that lingered there. I should have been there. I should be there now, with my family. I missed them, too. I shouldn't punish them because I was experiencing and impossible time.

"Pack your bags, Alice. Tell them all to. We're going home."

"Oh! Edward! Can I go see Bella now?"

That's when I remembered the small problem. My throat tightened. "Well... It all depends, on if she wants to see us..."

"She will, Edward. I know you didn't want me to... watch out for her. But I have been. She didn't go to college, Edward. She's been going deeper and deeper into lonliness."

"But.. the dog? What happened?"

"I don't know, I can't see him... I know Bella still goes to see him, because her future disappears frequently, but she misses you too, Edward... We all do, even Rose!" She laughed at herself, and for the first time, I could feel the sound of carefree laughter escape my mouth.

"I'll meet you in Forks in two days, Alice."

I was going home.

I arrived back at our old house long before my family. It felt odd being here, now just at the house we had abadonded, but in the town. My emotions, which I had deserted long ago and lived only on instinct, were slowly returning back to me. If I could sweat, I would be. If I had a heart, it would be beating at incredible speed. Yes, I was nervous being back, scared even.. but it felt, right.

It was late when I finally arrived, a little past three in the morning. I contemplated with myself, deciding whether or not to go watch Bella sleep. My selfish side had won, over my sensible side. I ran faster than I had in my entire life, and when I finally slowed infront of the old, firmiliar white house, I swear my stomach flipped. I climbed up to her window, and let her scent swim around me. I was thankful for the first time that she had been spending time with that mut, he made her usually desirable scent sting my nose with disgust now. I opened the window, and it let out a low creek. It had been a while since this window had been opened, and I knew I would need to grease it up again, soon. I took my usual place in the old rocking chair, and stared at her.

She had only gotten more beautiful since I left. Her hair sticking out a million different ways across her pillow, her old sweats and a stained t-shirt clung to her body now, and her mouth was slightly parted. She seemed.. frusturated. God, how I have missed her. No, that was an understatement. I was dead, and seeing her now brought me back to the living. I was alive now, and filled with joy. My Bella. My beautiful, gentle Bella. I searched along her body, looking for signs of any serious injuries that had been inflicted while I was gone. There were scratches on her hands, and a scabbed over cut on her forehead. Was he not protecting her? I should have never left, no one could take care of her the way she needed, no one but me.

"No Jake.. We need to ride.. I need to hear him.." What was she mumbling about? Ride what? And hear, whom? Maybe I was pointing my hate in the wrong direction, she wasn't interested in this Black boy, she was interested in an unnamed character, more than interested, she needed him.

"Broke his promise, now I have to break mine." She continued. She went on with this undefinable jibberish, and it was around 4:30 am when Charlie started to rise, and I was preparing to go. Just then, she whispered the one thing I had been dying to hear, "Edward" her lips involuntarily pulled up at the edges. My silent heart felt like it was beating. She remembered me. My name still made her smile.

I ran home then, nearly skipping with excitement. Alice and the rest of them have arrived now. Alice's face was glowing with excitement.

"She said your name, and Edward, I saw it, her future, flashes, with you. We will all be together again," her smile beamed. I hadn't realized Alice had missed her this much, too.

Then, it was time for the reunion. Carlisle and Esme were ecstatic. I had missed my parents, and I was glad they got to see me during this state, and didn't have to suffer, like they would have if they would have found me just a week ago. Emmett gave me a painful hug, even Rosalie hugged me. It was so good to be home, so good to have my family here.

So, what is the plan, my son? Carlisle thought.

"I haven't completely determined that yet, I was actually hoping Alice could tell me," I felt so human, I could have sworn I was blushing.

Alice searched the future, and I searched it with her. She saw me going straight there. Straight to the door, Charlie had been spending the day with Sue, but then it cut off. She didn't know Bella's decision, because Bella didn't know I was coming yet.

"Then, theres no time to waste. I'm off, my family. I have missed you all so much, and I want to thank each one of you for following my decisions when they might seem so unorganized."

GO! Alice thought. This made me chuckle. I heard each family member wish me luck in their thoughts, then I was running again. The route had been stuck in my mind, I knew it better than my own name.

The nervous feelings crept back up, and I could feel my throat tighten. I was definitely nervous. I was throwing my heart on the floor, and giving Bella the chance to stomp on it.

My hand trembled as I reached towards the doorbell. The ringing made me jump, and I waited for her to come to the door.

"Coming!" She called from the kitchen. The word rung in my ears, hearing her voice concious brought this all into perspective. This was it. Live or die, the moment of truth. Whatever her choice here, it determined my life forever. She could fix me, or break me. I was puddy in her hands.

The doorknob twisted, and I straightened up. My silent heart felt as if it was beating a million miles a minute, my stomach did back flips, front flips, and sommersalts. My palms felt clammy, and then she was there. Infront of me, I could feel her breath on my skin.

"Bella," I sighed. I smiled, the half smile she loved.

She sucked in a breath, blinked her eyes twice, then the plate she had been holding fell out of her hands. I caught it before it dropped to the ground, and handed it back to her. She stared at me in disbelief.

"May I come in?"

She stood in the doorway, speechless. She hadn't spoke in three minutes. I waited, waited for her to say the words I knew she would. Waiting for the remains of my broken heart to break into unidentifiable pieces, so that it could never be put back together again. I took this time to take in all of her. I sucked in her scent again. My throat burned, a feeling I now loved. As long as I burned, she was alive. I looked at every feature of her face. There had been more scars than I saw this morning, her forehead had been cut up i thousands of place. I frowned a bit at this, I was hoping after all this time she would have gotten.. more graceful, less prone to danger. I was wrong.

"You aren't real," she muttered, "I don't understand though, usually I have to do something reckless before I can see you, and you usually don't ring the doorbell, you're just there. And you sound a lot less angry than usual. Aw, crap! I must be dead, how though? I didn't do anything this morning that could have killed me," this morning? Was she doing suicidal things normally?

"Bella, I'm real, and I have no idea what you're talking about. I... I'm sorry I left, it was the worst possible mistake I will ever make. But I couldn't take it anymore, my life is less than pointless without you in it. I know I have no right, coming here and asking you to take me back, and I know I'm stupid to think you'd even want me anymore, but I had to know.. I just want to know.."

"But.. but.. you don't want me, you don't love me, I'm not good enough..."

"Bella, how could you have possibly fallen for that? I left because I had put your life in danger too many times, constantly putting you in harms way. You were, and are, better off without me. But my selfishness has brought me back, I am nothing without you, less than nothing! I love you more than you can comprehend, and I want a chance to make the last two years up to you, if you will allow me that."

She put the plate down, then looked back up to me. Her warm hand grasped my cold, hard cheek. I heard her gasp. Her chocolate eyes glaring into mine, and her firmiliar heart beat pounding through her chest, "You're real," she whispered. Her smile reached her eyes then, she stood on the tips of her toes, and reached her face towards mine. My face mimicked the movement, and soon, our lips were touching, her hot lips pushing hard against mine. I could feel her tears running onto my face, then she took a step back, stared at me, and kissed me again. Her hot breath filled my mouth. The tip of her tongue traced along my bottom lip, she stepped back again, then hugged me tight, her body filling every curve of mine, "You're really here," she sobbed. She was crying hard now.

"And I will never leave you again, my love, not for my entire existance. I promise you, forever."

Bella wiped her tears along her sleeve, and looked up at me with childlike eyes, "I have missed you, you have no idea."

Guilt filled my entire body, "I know Bella. And I will never forgive myself for the pain I have caused you, but I was doing it to protect you, you need to understa.." She didn't let me finish. She had engulfed my lips in hers again, I lifted her body up, and wrapped her legs around my waist. I shut the door behind me, and carried her up to her bedroom. I laid her across her mattress, and cuddled up beside her. We spent the afternoon kissing and staring into each others eyes. Bella cried a lot more, telling me how happy she was. Laying here with her, it felt like I had never left. Every painful memories of the last two years vanished from my mind. All that was left there now was Bella, and that was the way it was supposed to be. My life was nothing if she wasn't in it. I had been made to be with her, to protect her in every way. I would never leave again, not unless she orders me away. She fell asleep in my arms an hour and a half later, and when she awoke, I had to convince her again that she was not dreaming, that I was real.

I had never been so happy in my life, I knew now more than ever that this is where I belonged, and this is where I would stay for eternity.

She stared up with me through groggy eyes, gently kissed my lips, and nestled herself into my arm.

"Well, love, do you have plans I am taking you away from? Or do you mind coming to see my family? They have all missed you so very much, about one one millionth of the fraction I missed you, which is a painful amount," I joked.

Her eyes lit up then, and her jaw fell open, "They are all here, too? You're really going to stay? I.. I get to see Alice again? Esme? Carlisle? Emmett? All of them?!"

"If you would like to," every choice would be hers. I would push nothing onto her. Anything she wanted, was hers for the taking.

She jumped up, kissed me one last time, then we were off. She wanted to run with me, and I was glad to carry her. When we arrived, everyone was standing at the edge of the driveway, of course. Alice had seen us coming.

Bella started to cry again when Alice glided over and hugged her. I was happy to see my family so forgiving of my mistakes, too. I was truly a lucky man, to have such understanding and willful people in my life.

Life was good, again. It was as if the last dazed years had been nothing but a waking nightmare, something my mind had begun to repress. I had all that mattered here with me, now.

My constant night had finally found its waking morning.

Yes, life was good.

A/N,

i know its the same story i was trying to write, but i decided to turn it into a one shot.

hope you enjoyed it :)

please, review!

love always,

jPauL.