A/N Just a little two-shot i felt like writing, set after the finale after the "i've loved you since i was 12" scene (which by the way made my icy heart melt, do people like Naomi actually exist in the real world?). Its Naomi and Emily's anniversary and Naomi just wants it to be a perfect surprise but unknowingly ends up testing Emily's faith in her, and maybe just maybe makes it stronger in the long run.
Oh also Freddie is NOT dead in this fic, because its my universe and i didn't want him to be dead lol it would have put a dreary vibe over the whole thing and I just didn't want to, so Effy went to therapy with a normal therapist who didn't beat her boyfriend to death after becoming obsessed with her okay :)
Please read and review part 2 should be up soon, tomorrow or maybe the next day
Naomi was nervous, so nervous that her hands were actually sweating and Effy was looking at her like she was the one who had the problem after all.
The only other memory she could call on that even came close to how she felt in this moment was the day that she decided it was time to break the silence with Emily about how she felt about her, how she was pretty sure that she had loved the red head since the first time she saw her. Naomi could remember starkly the dryness in her mouth as she tried to find the words somewhere in her mind to finally win Emily back, words that she had rehearsed multiple times earlier that day but seemed to have flown out of her mind as soon as she connected eyes with Emily. It had worked out for her that day somehow, she had realized somewhere in the moment of silence between her and Emily that the only way she was going to fix things after everything that had happened that year, after everything with Sophia was to tear open her chest and throw everything out there for Emily to see no matter how much the thought of it terrified her, especially when she was being made to do it in front of Katie. But everything was well worth it when Emily finally looked up at her with the same adoration shining in her eyes that Naomi fondly remembered but hadn't seen in months, and closed the distance between them, pressing their lips together and clinging to Naomi desperately like holding on to her was keeping her afloat.
It had been three and a half weeks since that night, three and a half weeks since Naomi felt like she could breathe again, since she got her heart back. Her and Emily had been taking it slow, trying to slowly rebuild what they had lost over the past year knowing that this time they would be stronger than ever. But Naomi wanted to make everything perfect, needed desperately to make things up to her girlfriend because as she was noticing guilt was a very stubborn emotion. She just wanted to make sure Emily knew and could see clearly how completely and hopelessly in love she was with her. Started small with simple gestures, leaving Emily little notes in her locker and on the chalkboard if she had to leave in the morning before her, bringing her breakfast in bed on Saturdays because she knew Emily loved to sleep in. Loved looking at Emily seeing a genuine smile gracing her features now rather than the fake and plastered on one she had been donning for appearances in the months before. But today was different, it was big day, it had been exactly one year today since the love ball, since they had declared their love for everyone to see, one year since they had been officially together and Naomi wanted to make things perfect.
Didn't realize how nerve wracking organizing a perfect romantic evening could be when the person trying to plan it has barely a romantic bone in her body. Emily was the sappy one, the one that loved weddings and babies and cried during sad movies, while Naomi was just about the polar opposite. But she wanted to make an effort tonight for Emily, wanted to plan a special night for them, maybe make a good memory for her girlfriend that could maybe overshadow some of the less nice ones they had endured the past year. Needed everything to be perfect but was completely and utterly terrified that something would go wrong, wondered to herself when she became such a nervous wreck but realized that Emily had always made her feel a little off her game, she had always managed to find a way to keep her on her toes.
"You know if you keep pacing that same spot you're going to dig yourself into the ground," Effy said, eyeing Naomi curiously as she paced back and forth in front of her.
"Fuck I feel like I'm going to throw up," Naomi laughed at the ridiculousness of the state she had worked herself into.
"Jesus you're about to give me a fucking stress attack just from watching you," Effy smiled gently," Just sit down and chill out yeah?"
Naomi sighed and plunked herself down next to the redhead on the bed taking a deep calming breath.
"So how long till Emily gets here?" Effy questioned.
"About and hour," Naomi said after checking her watch, beginning to nervously twiddle with her fingers.
"Naomi just calm down," Effy said placing a hand over Naomi's restless ones," Everything is perfect, she's going to love it, you have nothing to feel nervous about."
Naomi scoffed and rolled her eyes in typical fashion, she was still adjusting to the new lighter Effy that had emerged after her treatment, it still took Naomi off guard how optimistic she had become as of late, putting it down to things finally being back on track with Freddie again.
"I have plenty to be nervous about Ef, for one I am complete shit at this whole planning romantic gestures thing, second things are just getting back to normal between us after everything you know, and third I'm going to fucking ask her to move in with me when we get back after traveling this summer, I mean that's a pretty big fucking step especially for me. And what if she says no? What if she thinks it's the most ridiculous and stupid idea she's ever heard and then I've put it out there and it will be there hanging between us…" Naomi rambled on.
"Look you did a great job planning this, you and Emily are doing great, and she wont think its stupid or say no, you have nothing to worry about Naoms, besides you've basically been living together this whole year anyways" Effy assured her.
"Ya but this isn't our place you know its just us living here while my mum was off with Kieran, it'll be different when its actually ours. I just want everything to be perfect you know, just want to show her how much she means to me," Naomi replied.
"Its going to be perfect, I helped you set up remember," Effy smirked at her," I mean I was shocked that you even had it in you but you really thought of everything, she's going to be so surprised."
"What if she doesn't like it though," Naomi wondered aloud
"Fucks sake Naomi when did you get so neurotic you're verging on JJ status here," Effy laughed," You're taking her to your fucking lake, you've set up something out of one of those movies Emily loves with the blanket and the cozy little fire just waiting to be lit, the candles and the flowers, not to mention you packed a picnic of her favorite foods, and set up a fucking tent so you could stay the night and be comfortable this time, oh yeah and I forgot its all going to be a surprise."
Naomi smiled slightly, though she was still nervous about the whole thing she really was a little proud of the evening she had come up with after seeking out Effy's help. It was a little cheesy, and sure it was something she would normally scoff at but she knew it was something that Emily would love and really that what this whole night was about anyways, giving Emily a night she would love. Besides it was probably only fair of Naomi to give Emily back a nice memory of one of her favorite places, as she had soiled the last one by doing a runner in the morning.
"You don't think I've overdone it do you?" Naomi said after a few minutes.
"I think that Emily is going to melt into a pile on the floor, and then will pull herself together and drag you into that tent to show you her gratitude."
Naomi smiled awkwardly feeling suddenly flushed at the thought of Emily's hands on her, couldn't remember the last time Emily had touched her like that. Emily had wanted to take things slow since they had gotten things sorted and Naomi hadn't wanted to rush her. Emily had allowed Naomi to touch her a couple times when they were stuck in limbo, but it was always rough and Emily just desperate for some form of release, almost forcing Naomi to fuck her rather than make love. Afterwards Emily would always roll over to her side of the bed as if chastising herself for allowing Naomi inside her new walls for even that brief moment. She wouldn't touch Naomi, she tried once and Naomi remembered her stopping in her tracks suddenly staring at her for a moment, and it was as if Naomi could see what Emily was imagining, could see her imagining Sophia's hands tracing over the places she was just touching. Naomi didn't care though, didn't care if they never had sex again as long as Emily was able to give her heart back trusting Naomi to hold it again. Though she did hope it wouldn't be never again, she was human after all and Emily was incredibly sexy so it could be hard at times to control herself, but she would wait as long as Emily wanted.
"Thanks Ef, I know I've been a pain in the arse today," Naomi blushed slightly feeling slightly bad for dragging Effy through her neurosis for the past day.
"No thanks necessary," Effy shook her head," I'm just happy that you two are sorted again, things just don't seem right when you two are on the outs. So what's the plan then for when she gets here?"
"I'm going to act like I've forgotten about it, like I don't know what today is," Naomi explained
"Believable," Effy smirked at her.
Naomi slapped her playfully on the arm, though it was true she had forgotten her and Emily's one month and the red head had been quite miffed about it. But really who celebrates 1 month, that is no large accomplishment, 1 year is much more significant.
"Anyways," Naomi shot her a sideways glare," Ya so I'll act like I have no idea, maybe suggest we rent a film or maybe I'll suggest we go to the shed party Freddie is having tonight. My mum said I can take her car so I'll drive and when I don't turn in the right direction I'll make her put on the blindfold and take her out to the lake and poof, surprise well hopefully anyways."
"She's going to be pissed at you at first," Effy pointed out.
"Ya I know but it'll throw her off because I'm pretty sure she's expecting me to do something tonight, this way she'll have no idea," Naomi rationalized.
Effy nodded and hopped up from the bed.
"Well good luck then, I had best be off Emily will be here soon and Freddie is waiting," Effy said with a small smile.
"Bye Ef," Naomi said as she watched the brunette exit the room.
Naomi her watch again seeing that she had just over 45 minutes before Emily would be there, and knowing her girlfriend as well as she did Naomi knew Emily wouldn't be late, she never was. So she rushed off to shower and get ready before the red head arrived. Picking out something to wear was the hardest part, wanted to look good yet didn't want to give away that she had something planned. In the end she decided on a pair of blue skinny jeans that were tight enough to show off her legs but no so tight that it looked like she was trying to hard, and a yellow flannel button up that she had left a couple buttons undone so she was showing just a of cleavage knowing it would drive Emily insane. She left her hair down in loose waves they way Emily had once told her she loved and pinned her fringe back quickly before applying minimal make up. She wasn't back in her bedroom for more than a couple minutes before she heard the door opening downstairs, smiling Naomi looked at her clock seeing that Emily was as always on time, like right on the dot. She heard voices, knowing that Emily was exchanging pleasantries with her mum, they got along so well that it irritated Naomi sometimes but she couldn't complain really because her mum would have to be blind to not see how wonderful Emily was. She sat back on her bed and grabbed a book to make it look like she wasn't waiting for Emily and soon enough she heard light footsteps making their way up the stairs, and her bedroom door opening and shutting quickly.
"Hey you," Emily said with a sheepish smile lingering in the opening of the room.
"Ems, right on time as usual," Naomi smiled tossing the book to the floor beside the bed and making her way over towards Emily," Jesus Em you look beautiful, did you come from one of your mums events or something?"
Naomi smiled inwardly, Emily really did look beautiful, purple tights under a dark blue (and rather short) skirt and a tight black tank top that was hugging her in all the right places.
"Well no I just, I don't know I didn't know what to wear," Emily mumbled, obviously flustered now.
Naomi took a deep breath and shook off the urge to just break down and tell Emily what they would really be doing tonight, she just tried to remember how it would all pay off in the end when Emily was completely surprised. She was actually more excited now than nervous, the nerves had seemed to wash themselves away sometime after Effy left and now she was just eager to see Emily's face light up when she showed her everything she had set up.
"Well I was thinking of just renting a film? Though you may be a tad overdressed." Naomi bridged the gap and kissed Emily chastely, feeling her girlfriend's lips tense up as she started to feel as though Naomi had forgotten their anniversary.
"You just want to rent a film…tonight?" Emily said seriously her eyes wide.
"Well yeah, I don't know there isn't much else to do in this town. In case you haven't noticed Emily Bristol is a bit of a shit hole," Naomi kept her voice steady.
"I just thought you would want to do something, you know special, it being tonight and all," Emily's eyes narrowed as she waited for Naomi's reaction.
"Okay," Naomi replied," Freds is having people over to the shed tonight, we could go to that if you'd rather go out?"
Emily was full on glaring now, and Naomi was trying desperately to keep a straight face, though irritated Emily was one of her favorite incarnations of her girlfriend, she was so fiery it was fucking hot.
"You want to spend tonight," Emily put extra emphasis on "tonight" as if trying to give Naomi a chance to figure shit out," In a shed that smells of urine, spliff, vodka and vomit??"
"I take it you don't like that idea?" Naomi said.
"No I fucking well don't like that idea Naomi!" Emily raised her voice, eyes still glaring at Naomi," Don't you even care what today is? Obviously not by the way you're acting right now! Fucking hell Naomi you don't even know what today is do you?"
Naomi could see this taking a turn that she didn't like, she was expecting Emily to be irritated but she assumed that the red head would just be grumbly but would go along with whatever shit plans she offered her. She hadn't anticipated Emily getting this pissed, she was basically yelling now, tears were welling in her eyes and all Naomi wanted to do was grab her and tell her that she hadn't forgotten, that she could never forget but Emily wouldn't let her get a word in.
"God this is so fucking typical of you, you say you care but you really just don't give a shit do you? I thought things would be different!"
Naomi's eyes widened, her hand reached out to grab Emily's arm and try and shake her from this rage filled rant she was now set in.
"No don't fucking touch me," Emily ripped her arm out of Naomi's grasp.
"Emily you're over reacting," Naomi said softly.
"I'm not overreacting, we've been together for a year and you've just completely fucking forgotten Naomi, like it doesn't even matter. I just thought after everything we've been through that the special moments would maybe find a place in your fucking head. Fuck I can't be here right now," Emily wiped furiously at the tears that had forced their way out," You said I could count on you and I believed you and here I am looking like a fucking fool again."
And with that Emily turned on her heels, stomping down the stairs and was out the door and on her scooter before Naomi even had a chance to process what she was saying. Naomi shook her head to clear the shock and felt her stomach drop as everything sunk in. In no way shape or form did she think that Emily was putting such emphasis on tonight. She knew it was important to Emily, she would have been naïve to think otherwise but in no way did she think that by not having some extravagant night planned Emily would in turn lose all faith in her.
She should have known though, things were still fragile, they were still getting their footing back and now she had gone and made it seem like she couldn't give less of a shit about the relationship. When in reality she had been out all day setting things up to show Emily how much she actually did care. She sat down on her bed, head in her hands as she began the mental beating she felt she deserved.
"Fuck why do I have to be so stupid," Naomi said aloud to herself," Such a fucking twat, fuck why did I have to insist on it being a surprise, why couldn't I have just fucking told her what we would be doing!"
Emily had gone straight to Freddie's after leaving Naomi's, felt the sudden urge to get completely fucked up and maybe for the night forget that her girlfriend was such a fucking bitch sometimes. Naomi had begun calling her almost immediately after she left the house, and the constant ringing had actually gotten so annoying that Emily turned her phone off. She didn't was to hear Naomi's excuses right now, more empty words that wouldn't be followed with any actions to prove that they meant anything at all. She had taken a huge leap of faith by taking Naomi back fully, by giving her heart back, and now here she was disappointed once again, wanting desperately for Naomi to just go something to show her that she wants this as much as her.
As soon as she made it to the shed she made a beeline to the alcohol, downed two large gulps of vodka from the open bottle on the counter, wincing slightly as the liquid burned down her throat but feeling a little better when the comfortable buzz began to wash over her. She spotted JJ in the corner, without Lara at his side for once so she headed over to him, hoping to avoid her sister as she didn't want to endure the questions as to why she wasn't with Naomi tonight, didn't want to hear another "I told you so".
"Ems," JJ said when she appeared in front of him," I thought you and Naomi had a date?" Effy had explained things to him when he asked if Naomi and Emily would be coming to the shed. He had thought it was quite sweet, and rather unlike Naomi to do something like this but now seeing Emily sitting in front of him with red rimmed eyes he had a feeling something had gone wrong.
"I did, too bad she had no fucking clue what we were meant to be celebrating," Emily spat.
"What you think Naomi forgot it was your anniversary?" JJ asked," That isn't possible," He stated, as far as he knew it wasn't as Effy had told him what Naomi had set up for the night.
"Believe me its possible, I went over there and she asked if I wanted to rent a film or if I wanted to come here," Emily sighed, taking another sip of the vodka," She had no clue JJ, I can't believe she didn't remember she knew how much this meant to me and she just went and blew it off like it didn't mean a fucking thing."
Now JJ was really confused, he had no idea what Emily was going on about.
"Emily she couldn't have forgotten, maybe you read her reactions wrong?" JJ offered receiving a glare from Emily in return.
"There was no misreading how she was acting," Emily replied.
"But Ef said that you and Naoms wouldn't be here tonight because Naomi had planned something for you two to do,"
"What?" Emily's face softened a moment, now she was fucking confused too, she wanted to know what was going on.
"Effy," JJ shouted, waving Effy over when she turned to look in the direction of the sound of her name.
Her eyes widened when she saw Emily sitting next to JJ.
"Emily what the fuck are you doing here?" Effy said so quickly that Emily could barely even pick up what she was saying," Where's Naomi?" Effy quickly turned scanning the room, wondering maybe if this was part of Naomi's plan, bringing Emily here first, not wanting to ruin anything in case it was.
"Probably at home watching a film by herself, seeing as important milestones in a relationship don't seem to have any meaning to her," Emily stated.
"So what she acted like she forgot about your anniversary and you left and came here?" Effy asked.
"Pretty much," Emily replied downing another gulp of vodka.
Effy snatched the bottle out of her hands and looked at her incredulously.
"You have to go find her," Effy said strongly.
"Why should I?" Emily challenged," She's the one who's fucked up!"
"For fucks sakes Emily she was acting, you know pretending she had forgotten to throw you off the trail. She knew you were expecting her to plan something for tonight but she wanted it to be a surprise," Effy explained as she dragged Emily out of her seat and towards the door.
"Well she seemed pretty serious to me," Emily wrenched her arm out of Effy's grasp and stood in front of the brunette.
"How about you take a trip down to that lake of yours and then come back here and tell me again that you think Naomi forgot, that she doesn't give a shit," Effy challenged, her steely gaze settling on Emily and making the younger twin shiver at the intensity of it.
"Fuck you're serious aren't you," realization dawned on Emily quickly, she instantly regretted all the things she had said to Naomi earlier, Effy simply nodded," Christ I have to find her, I said some pretty awful things to her earlier."
"It'll be fine, just go talk to her yeah? Fix it," Effy offered a small smile and Emily nodded before taking off out the door.
She raced back to Naomi's, burst through the door and up the stairs ignoring the curious look Gina was casting at her but she found Naomi's room empty. She flipped open her phone and turned it back on, was instantly berated with alerts coming from everywhere, 28 missed calls, 25 text messages and a voicemail. She didn't bother looking at any of them right now, didn't care about any of that, just dialed Naomi's number and cursed out loud when she heard "electric feel" fill the room. She lifted up Naomi's pillow and saw her phone sitting there; she must have forgotten it when she went left. Emily paced the room for a minute before deciding to look through the messages she received, all were nearly the same, apologizing for being a twat, explaining that it was just a ploy so it would be a surprise, begging Emily to call her. Last she listened to the voicemail, didn't think she could feel any worse in that moment but was quickly proven wrong. She heard Naomi's defeated sounding voice speaking slowly and clearly.
Look Em I know I've been a complete fuck up pretty much the entire time we've been together, what can I say I'm just shit at this girlfriend thing apparently. But I just need you to believe that I care okay, I care so much that sometimes I feel like I'm about to fucking burst with the intensity of it, don't let some botched and in hindsight utterly stupid plan make you doubt that okay. But I get it, everything you said was true, I always let you down, apparently even when I try not to I still find a way to screw everything up, I honestly don't deserve you Em. Fuck can you just please call me when you get this, please
Emily pulled herself up off the bed and made her way out of the house with renewed perseverance, she was going to find Naomi if she had to ride around all night to do it. She was going to find her, apologize for jumping to conclusions, do or say whatever it takes to make amends for her harsh words earlier and then kiss her senseless until both their lips are bruised. Maybe if she's lucky they might even be able to in some small way salvage the evening, at the very least spend the night together. Decides to head off to the lake first, can't think of anywhere else that Naomi would have gone at the moment, asks whatever forces that might exist to please let Naomi be there.