The Psychopath and the Cannibal
"Hey, guys!" Chariot shouted, a perverted grin crossing his face, his plastic gun of alcohol in his hand. "Looks like our little Hierophant managed to snag herself a lover."
The Alpha and Omega teams walked into the surveillance room, the majority of them exclaiming sentiments of disbelief. There was no way that their adorably psychotic southern assassin had snagged herself a man. What kind of man would be able to deal with her psychotic tendencies and love of blood play and not end up getting killed?
But sure enough, defying all laws of logic, right there on the camera recording Hierophant's mission was the blonde assassin herself, wrapped up tight in the arms of an older man in a button-up and slacks. Her hands were raking through his dark brown hair, and giggling when his beard tickled her face. Her target lay dead at the couple's feet and they were locked at the mouth, kissing as if they were the ones dying.
Omega and the majority of Alpha team just sat there in shock as they watched, while Empress kept commenting on how "yummy" Hiero's man was.
The odd couple broke apart and the two teams were shocked to see both parties smiling contentedly. How the hell was this guy happy to be with their psychopathic little darling?
Hiero's lover suddenly pulled out a blade; Alpha and Omega teams held their respective breaths, Empress's nails digging slightly into the wood of the desk. The man did not move threateningly in Hiero's direction, though, instead crouching down next to the recently killed man beside them. He made a swift cut against the man's skin and blood seeped out of the deep gash.
The man painted his fingers in the blood before presenting them, almost reverently, to Hierophant. The bubbly psychopath smiled widely before sucking his fingers into her mouth, licking the man's fingers clean. Then she reached down and mirrored his motions before he cleaned the crimson liquid from her fingers and yanked her close to kiss her again.
"Well that explains how they manage to make their relationship work," Magician said.
"Yeah, he's just a bat shit crazy as she is," Chariot chortled.
"So why isn't he on our team?" Empress inquired, eyes still locked on the scene displayed on the screen. "It seems to me like he'd fit right in."
"Because he doesn't exist." Surprising everyone, the Devil entered, for once leaving the sanctuary of his office.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Judgment piped up from his little corner of the room.
"It means that this guy doesn't pop up on any of our databases," Emperor revealed. "He doesn't exist according to our records."
"Well, clearly he does," Empress sniped. "He's right there on our monitors with his arms wrapped around our little Hierophant." As much as everyone knew not to form attachments with others in the team, Empress had grown to look at Hiero as her own little protégé, perhaps even bordering on a daughter. It didn't help that people thought they were related, since they looked so alike with their blonde hair and love of the colour red.
"Where the fuck is High Priestess?" Chariot shouted suddenly. "She's supposed to be keeping an eye on Hierophant."
"She had a target of her own to take care of," Temperance said, putting her government-issued cell phone away. "She's on her way over there as we speak."
"Well, she better hurry up." Judgment commented. "It's getting rather intense by my judgment."
Indeed it was. While the two teams of assassins had been worrying amongst themselves about the petite blonde, she and her mysterious lover had moved over the nearby cement wall. They were still glued together at the lips, but her hands were buried in his hair and her legs had come up to wrap about his waist. His own hands had disappeared beneath her sweater, but luckily had ventured below her button up yet.
Fortunately, High Priestess appeared on the camera, sparing the teams any future mental scarring. Her mouth began moving on screen, seemingly announcing her presence.
The amorous couple broke apart and Hiero was set down on her feet. She looked rather upset, but the man moved to stroke her hair, seemingly in an effort to calm the giggly psychopath.
Teams Alpha and Omega waited with baited breath; if a fight broke out between High Priestess and Hierophant, there was no telling who'd win. With her mystery lover there and her training, though, there was a greater chance that Hierophant would come out victorious, which didn't bode well for Omega. They were already trying to replace Justice, who'd ended up on the wrong side of an explosive three weeks earlier.
Luckily, no altercation occurred on screen and High Priestess checked in to report that Hierophant and the man, who had identified himself as "Ives," were coming in. Both teams of assassins exited the mission surveillance room and waited in their offices for Hierophant and the mysterious Ives to show up.
Hierophant was hopping mad. Did Corporate seriously not trust her enough to send her on a mission without sending someone else to check up on her? She had been working for them for three years, trained by Empress for eight. She had entered as a sixteen year old with a talent for killing and a developing fetish for blood play and had become a twenty seven year old master assassin with a love for her job and a real taste for blood.
A warm hand slid into hers and she turned to smile up at Ives. He brought their joined hands up to kiss the back of hers, just like a proper gentleman. The southern belle in her blushed in delight.
She had been so lucky to find him. That much was obvious to her every day. Colonel Francis Ives was so very special and the only man to understand and love her for her sadistic tendencies. After all, he himself was far from what was considered normal. Cannibals weren't very mainstream in modern society, after all.
But damn could her man cook. He had a way of flavouring his "meat" that just… mmm, she was hungry just thinking about it. Unfortunately her newest kill was being taken care of by Corporate, so it would probably end up being leftovers from Ives' last. Not that it really mattered; he was so good at preserving his meat that you hardly noticed if it was a few days old.
Still, as proud as she was of him and being with him, she had wanted to keep their relationship a secret from everyone back at base for a little while longer. Not because she was worried about the reactions; no, everyone could think what they want about them, she didn't give a damn. No, she had wanted to keep Ives all to herself, in every way possible. It turned out that she was rather territorial as well as slightly psychopathic. But she had reason to be: Ives was probably the only man who would ever accept and love her for all of her "issues." She didn't want to lose that and everything that came along with it.
The couple entered the elevator behind High Priestess, Hierophant still glaring slightly at the Omega. What right did she have to check up on her? High Priestess wasn't even Hierophant's mirror agent. If anyone should have been sent to watch her, it should have been Judgment. Not that he would have been any better. In fact it probably would have been worse if he had been the one to interrupt Hiero and Ives, knowing him.
The descent down to the office seemed to take forever and she felt Ives tense up next to her. She squeezed his hand reassuringly; she knew how much he hated being anywhere that resembled a cage.
She leaned over to him, keeping her eyes locked on High Priestess' back.
"I have an escape route planned out that takes us right up to the surface," she whispered to him, her southern twang slightly more pronounced from the stress. "It is in the ladies' room, above the third stall. If anything goes wrong, we'll be able to get out, ok dahling?"
Ives smiled and kissed her cheek before whispering back.
"You're amazing, sweetheart, do you know that?"
Hiero smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her and just held her. They stayed like that, uncaring of High Priestess glancing back at them, until the doors opened again.
'Well, here goes,' Hierophant thought. 'Moment of truth.'
An awkward silence had descended upon the conference room. Upon entering the offices, Hierophant had told everyone present that if they wanted to know about her relationship with Ives, they would have to meet her in the conference room. After that little announcement she had promptly sauntered off to the aforementioned room, arm in arm with her lover.
The entire compound had followed the couple there and had taken their respective seats, aside from Devil, who sat in Hiero's usual spot across from Judgment.
The southern belle herself was sitting at the head of the table and had pulled up a chair for Ives. She sat there staring at everyone, thumb stroking the back of Ives' hand delicately.
"Well," she finally spoke up. "Doesn't anyone have any questions? Or was this all just a massive waste of our time?"
"Dearest…" Ives said, soothingly. "Calm down, love."
Alpha and Omega teams watched slightly in awe as the blatant anger written in the lines of Hiero's body faded as Ives whispered to her. Then she turned back to the group and gestured to them to begin.
For another moment, silence reigned in the conference room once more, until Empress could take it no longer.
"Alright, then," she pronounced suddenly, leaning toward the couple. "Since I'm the only one with any guts it seems, I'll ask the questions.
"Firstly, who the hell are you?" she pointed to Ives with her middle finger.
Hiero bristled slightly at Empress' wording and tone, but relaxed again as Ives responded.
"Colonel Francis Ives, ma'am. And you must be the Empress. It is a pleasure to meet you."
"Wait, you can't be a colonel," Emperor inserted. "If you were in the military, you would have shown up on my records."
The room tensed up, angry at the 'lie,' until Hiero's high and depraved little giggle broke it.
"He hasn't been in the military in a very long time," she stated, still giggling. She and Ives shared an undecipherable glance full of mischief.
"She's right," Ives supported. "Nowadays, you could just call me a chef of sorts."
"A chef, huh," Chariot commented, fingers wrapped around his cherished alcohol. "What do ya specialize in? Down home southern cooking? Hiero loves that shit."
Ives tensed up at the inherent rudeness in Chariot's statement, but shook it off to respond "I do all kinds of cooking. My best dishes are flavoured with my own special kind of seasoning, though. And I know for a fact, my little Hiero loves it."
The possessive term caught everyone's attention, but Hierophant just smiled and snuggled into Ives.
"So this seasoning of yours," Emperor questioned. "What exactly is it? Hierophant is usually very picky about her food."
Once again, Hiero and Ives shared an interesting glance, only this time Hiero let loose another depraved giggle.
"Let's just say, Emperor," she replied, "it's not exactly something a majority of people would be comfortable eating."
"It's not something gross like bugs or something, is it?" Chariot chortled, obviously trying to gross everyone else out.
"Not at all," Ives smiled. "Human flesh, actually."
Silence reigned in the conference room for a moment as everyone stared at him and Hiero, who was giggling in delight. Then the room filled with laughter, the agents sharing their appreciation for Ives' joke.
"Ahh, well at least Hiero's got a man with a good sense of humour," Magician said, wiping away a couple of tears.
"Well, it did diffuse the tension in here quite nicely," Ives commented, leaning back in his chair. Turning his head slightly, he winked at Hierophant.
About an hour or so later, Hierophant and Ives walked out of the building, hand in hand. Both Alpha and Omega teams had worn themselves down, asking as many questions as possible before deciding Ives was a pretty good suitor for Hierophant. Not that she needed their approval, but Hiero had to admit, it was pretty nice that they liked him. It almost felt like bringing Ives home to meet the family. Or at least, the closest she could get to family seeing as she had murdered her birth family.
"So, shall we go home for the night, dearest or would you like to hunt tonight?" Ives asked, a smirk on his face. "I find that it is very good stress relief."
Hiero smiled wickedly and wrapped her arms around her lover.
"That sounds lovely, dahling," she replied. "And I know of another great 'stress reliever' for later on."
Ives tightened his arms about her waist and kissed her deeply.
"Sounds like a plan, love."
The couple walked off into the night, claws and fangs ready for the kill. Then Hierophant laughed, the sound light but still with a bit of her trademark insanity behind it.
"I wonder how long it will take for the team to realize you weren't joking about the whole 'human flesh' thing."
Ives smiled widely, then guided his lady love into the local club, ready to select tonight's repas du jour.
Yes, Francis Ives and Hierophant were well-matched. The cannibal and the psychopath. A true match made in heaven. Or hell, if you prefer.