Disclaimer: I own nothing
a/n: In the episode Love lilies and troubadours Dean hadn't come to school and Rory never told him she loved him. They never got back together.
There is some change of POV:
/ Rory;
/- Tristan
The happy prince.
A history of violence
It had been a really bad day and by lunchtime Rory Gilmore couldn't take it anymore. She headed to the only place she knew she would find peace: the library. She knew a secret spot where no one ever came and, there, Paris could not find her. She had become her new tormentor after Tristan messed things up with that PJ Harvey story. Who knew if he eventually went to the concert. He avoided her since then, and she was okay with that. Actually, she missed a little his remarks and his smirks, but since he finally gave in and stopped tormenting her with the whole Mary thing, she could not care less about him. Well, she was a little bit concerned about him, she had noticed he had moot been the same for a while, he was less cheerful but darker. But they were not friends and she had no right to inquire about his life. Anyway, that didn't mean she couldn't be worried noticing he was never seen around at lunch for months
/-
Those months had been the cruelest of his life, he didn't know if cruel was the exact word but it clearly expressed the whole misery in which his life had plunged. He thought he had already gotten used to it. He clearly was wrong. He'd learned through the years to mask his feelings, his aches, the pain that tore him, but his facade was difficult to maintain. He felt like his whole life was a big fat lie. And, indeed, it was. He had many mates but no true friends, many girls at his feet but not a girlfriend to call his. He had no best friend to reveal his secrets. He'd learnt to deal with it on his own because he trusted no one. Besides that, no one could help him even if they wanted to. He was sick and tired to wake up every morning a put a mask on his face pretending to be some one he was not, pretending a confidence he no more had, a happiness he never tasted. There were good days when he could forget the whole situation left at home and bad days in which he simply felt like he couldn't bear the burden furthermore. But he managed to overcome those moments, keep himself together and stand up stronger than ever. Unfortunately he was losing strength and it had been long since he last had a good day. That started to feel heavy on him. His barriers where falling and his mask was unstable. He was falling apart but he couldn't afford that. Those were the cruelest months for him, and he just couldn't bear being surrounded by his fake friends, lying openly anytime they asked him something about his life, his parents... That was why he started avoiding lunch. It was the moment when he was most vulnerable. He knew a spot in the library he was sure no one else knew. He was sure he could find the peace he needed to keep his show alive the rest of the day.
Sitting on the ground, in the corner of the library, leaning his back on the shelters full of dusty books (no one ever came in there) he could close his eyelids and find some rest. He felt safe in there, sheltered. Like he never felt at home.
/
She crossed the labyrinth of the book shelters and after some random wandering there she was, her hidden spot... Taken! By none-the-less than Tristan Dugrey. He looked wretched. She had never seen him like that. Maybe she had a real reason to be worried, it wasn't All in her mind after all. She was thinking whether say something to him or leavin, seeing that her secret spot was not that secret. she didn't want to bother him, he seemed like he needed to be alone. Or, more likely, he needed to avoid being alone for too long. She was lost in her thoughts and in all that thinking she didn't even notice he opened one eye to look at her. When she did notice he had acknowledged her presence, she intently stared at him. He surely was there to avoid someone, and his face was torn between disbelief and annoyance. They locked eyes and her heart jumped. Have they always been that blue? So dark yet so worldly, so handsome yet so full of painl?
/-
He was trying to relax and avoid thinking about what was waiting for him at home. Without success he had to admit, and that was when he heard some footsteps. He could have dreamt that because it was always quiet, no one could reach it if they did not know it. He ended up there once, looking for a book the librarian said it was taken, but he wouldn't believe him and decided to search for it by him self. It was just an excuse to be alone and lost in a place where he was sure no one could find him. He wandered a lot and when he did get lost, he noticed a spiral stair case and and a 'out of order' sign. He ignored it and went upstairs where ge found a really dusty section of the library with big old books on the shelves. That was the old library. It then extended and now students went only in the renewed part and this one was soon forgotten. It was old and diry, but cosy. he thoought he was the only one who knew of it's existence but, opening his eyes he could tell he was wrong. Rory Gilmore was standing flesh and blood in front of him. It was not a dream; it was rather a nightmare considering she saw him in that state. He held his head high and met her eyes. He could see worry in them. It was nice of her, considering last time they spoked she yelled in front of everybody she hated him.
After a while she broke the connection and sit right next to him. He turned his head away and closed his eyes again.
-Who are you avoiding?- He asked all of a sudden
-Paris. You?
-Who tells you I am avoiding some one?
-Why would you be here then?-
Busted! he thought and said: -I thought I was the only one to know this place
-Me too- She admitted shyly. -Who are you hiding from, Tristan?
-No one in particular.- He admitted -Why would you care?
-Well now I know where you disappear at lunchtime
-Did you notice?- His face betrayed surprise.
She nodded: -You've been acting weird lately
-No more than usual. Why would you care anyway?-
She flushed, she had to expect he'd attack her. After all they were not friends.
-Some times people are nice to each other, you know?-She responded sarcastically.
-I thought you made it loud and clear you have nothing to do with me. You hate me. - he replied harsh and as she stared at him in bewilderment he continued: -Your words not mine.
Now it was clear to her took it as an offense. After all she wanted to hurt him so he would let her alone. Why would she care then if he did get hurt at lat?
-You just pissed me off and I said that so you'd stop annoy me. I did not mean it, though. Well I did then, but now no more. That doesn't mean I cannot be worried if I see you are not okay! -she told him flushing.
-We are not friends Gilmore and I am okay
-You are not the usual jerk, something's going on with you!
He passed through the fact he had just being called jerk and cried angrily:-You should mind your own business. Don't you have friends to talk to? Why are you here inquiring about my personal life?
-Thanks to you, I have not. What about you? Where did you leave your drooling groupies and your stuck-up friends?-
He felt hit directly in his open wound: -I do not think they'd care hearing my problems- Admitted in a low tone.
.-See! I was right!
-I see nothing to celebrate
-Just jocking Tris. You are always so distant, you let no one come close to you.
She was right, he never did. He couldn't. Nobody could ever understand what he'd been going through. Why would she care anyway? They were not friends, though she was the only one who noticed something was wrong with him. After a long pause, he said:
-I know. But you are not that different from me either
-Meaning?
-You know what I mean- He told her challenging. She stood in silence for a while then she admitted:
-Sometimes I just feel like I don't belong here, that is why I keep mysalf at distance form everyone here-
-Guess you are not the only one- he whispered
-I can't believe our words! Every one loves you! You are the king of Chilton! That is supposed to be your place, not mine!
How wrong could she possibly be? He pretended to be the king, in reality he was the prince without a crown hiding in the shadow of his own lies. The lies that made of him king. The truth was that his crown was just a fake mask. But he could not reveal her that. Not with his words at least. Unfortunately for him, his eyes were saying things he would not dare to pronounce out loud. They were like a mirror reflecting the torments of his lonely soul. And she was reading right through it. No one ever did that with him.
-Yeah you are right- he said at last.
/
She could not believe his words, he just said he felt not at ease with his own life, him! Tristan Dugrey! At first she thought he was jocking but, when he said he was, she knew that was a lie. She could tell it looking at him in the eyes, they reflected his inner torments. Who knew what made them that dark. Before entering the library she would have put her hand in the fire if his life wasn't perfect. Every one envied him. Handsome, rich, smart, he had everything. Now she just got burnt, they were not that different.
-Liar!- She exclaimed and He just stared at her. She could see he had not the strength to defend himself putting up his usual cocky mask.
-Pardon, what did you just say?
-You heard it! I said you are a liar.
-So now you know me enough to say- He started but She didn't let him finish and went on:
-Oh you can stop pretending with me! I don't buy it. There is nothing wrong in
-In what? You don't even know what you're talking about!
-Will you just let me finish Tristan?. You lay here all alone every day, it is obvious there is something up with you lately, but no one noticed, am I right? And that upsets you even more. Then I bump into you and you start being so defensive and
-Your entire speech doesn't make much sense, you know that?- He sai in an angry tone.
-All I'm trying to say is that I understand you feel lonely sometimes, I am not used to this world but it seems clear that appearance is what counts the most and you sure can't show yourself vulnerable. Been there done that. But until you show your true feelings you won't be able to make real friends, who love you the way you are. A big part of friendship is sharing and supporting each other. If you always push people away when they try to come closer to you, no one will be there to help you when you need them!
-I am impressed, you said it all without breathing- he said mockingly, but she could see she struck him.
-I start babbling some times - She was blushing now.
When bubbling she started saying everything hat crossed her mind and the result was her blushing, thinking she made a fool of herself.
-I noticed
Feeling embarrassed she said: -I think I gotta go, You were right, we are not friends and I have not the right to tell you how to live your life-
As she stood up and turned around he said:-You are not the first not will be the last -she stopped and he continued: -but I appreciate your concern. Thanks for the advise.
She turned around an stared at him. For once he wasn't playing with her or making stupid comments.
He lowered his head and went on: - Most of the times I feel like I do not belong here and I hate having to pretend, every single day,that I care about people who likewise pretend to be friends with me. That is why when I do not feel very well I want to see no one.
-Why did you share that with me?- She asked
- Does that make us friends? Because I think I need one
-Sort of- She stated
He smiled, truly this time.
-I'll be fine, Gilmore- He told her standing up and leaving out of the blue.